please help

Despite all the noice and fireworks in the neighbor hood, neither of us made it to see the ball drop -  I headed to bed about 10:30,  thought I might make it, but had had a glass of eggnog (slightly spiked) and a muscle relaxer and pain pill -  NOPE DIDN'T MAKE IT,  I do recall a couple good blasts of fireworks though,  have the windows open,  and of coarse fireworks are legal here in Fla, Of coarse you are supposed to clean up,  we left for the grocery store this AM and one of our neighbors behind us had left such a mess in the road -  big launcehers-  not nice at all.

We shall be taking down some of the Christmas decorations Sunday until the children come back at 5PM,  they don't start staying until Monday AM until next weekend.  I talked to Landen on the phone this AM,  he sounded very happy,  he's got a bit of a cold,  Ed's is getting better - so far so good for me -  everyone in the family over the past few weeks has had it, and a bad coughing one at that -  hope it continues to stay away from me.

Nancy I could not help but giggle just a little over the dog, I know NOT FUNNY, well ok a little funny when it's not my dog - XOXOXOXOXOXO

....and the cheese was probably still stuck to the roof of his mouth and he spent hours gloriously working it down so he could swallow! hehehehehehehhehe

.....and was picking walnuts out of her teeth all night!

Hey Karen,  yes kids back at 5PM, right on schedule,  miracles never seize sometimes, Amanda even stayed and did their baths. Ella has a huge black and blue on her forehead where she fell,  they were quite nervous to show me, but she does tumble all the time, she trys to run and takes a dive, almost every other day in school I have to sign and incident report,  but it is a nasty looking bruise,  she hit the door casing.  They are fine, Lanedn is always a little GRUMPY/DEMANDING when he returns  don't think PLEASE & THANK YOU are enforced to often, but he gets it when he's here he has the manners as much as he possibly can for a 2 year old, " And what do we say Landen" PLEASE.

Amanda posted on her FB page she had a great weekend with the kids,  oh yeah SIL said WOW what a night last night was neither of them slept -  YUP that happens.  Kinda nervous about this coming Friday night,  Amanda will have to work over nights,  she had this past one off for the holiday.  Bill has never ever ever spent an entire night alone with either of them,  Amanda says she'll have them asleep before she leaves at 10PM, but that doesn't mean they will stay asleep.  Oh well will cross that bridge when it gets here.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It does sound promising Cathi. But not holding my breath until next weekend when SIL has them by himself overnight.

Sheila 

Happy New Year to you all!

Dear Cathi, I'm a bit optimistic following your posts. It DOES sound that they are making an efffort, and being wary of letting you see Ella's bruise indicates to me that they are being careful. They know that they are on probation. You just take the time off babysitting to take care of yourself and Ed. And the pets! Love you Cathi, and fingers firmly crossed!

Nanci, many congratulations on your new home, and loving the story about the pup. When I was a kid we had the lovliest English Sringer Spaniel who was a total gannet. Once she managed to get into the fridge, make off with the VERY expensive Sunday roast. My wee mum thought she was going do-lally pip when she went to prepare dinner. We found the remains in her dog basket, and not much of them either. My brother's dog Kiki discovered 3 boxes of chocolate liquers underneath the Xmas tress. Brother got up at 7am Xmas morning to start preparation, slipped in a big puddle of sick - went flying across the bedroom - and then had to cope with a very hungover pup. Seems like even the best behaved animals don't pass up on an opportunity to fill their guts!

New Year hear was much quieter than usual, because we have all been ill too!!! (HOW do these bugs get around) I was ace over New years eve and New Years day - about the only one who was then -SLAP BANG WALLOP, yesterday I thought I was dying. No exaggeration, temp was 40 degrees, through the ceiling! -  projectile heaving never seen since the Exorcist and God, the worst headache I have ever had. And we are totally shut down because of the holidays. Temp is now 37.5/38 so a lot better. My next door neighbour has been looking after cats, feeding them and changing litter.  Otherwise poor mites would have been neglected badly.

I was dx 2 years ago tomorrow, I was healthy then. The long term s/e do get me down. Just seems that when I get anything, everything kicks in, gagging, coughing, spasms. And the muscle weakness is restricting. Oh well my lovelies, again Happiest of New Starts to us all.

Netz xxxxx

Dear all, had to go to myPCP today, he had ordered blood tests as did my onc., he went over all the tests he had ordered and then said I see DR.------ ordered a cancer tumor marker, it'''''s gone up since your last one of  / / .  I asked what that meant, he asked when do you see DR.----.  I said tomorrow A.M.  He said he'll know how to explain it to you.  So now I am freaking out, some friends dropped by but clearly were not able to hear me, as talk turned to one of their daughter's upcoming wedding, as in 2012.  I need some supportive words to slow me down, I've tried reading but can't concentrate, please talk me down.  I've been dissatisfied with this DR. for quite some time, this is my push to find a new primary.  Karen

Dear EWB, oncologist thinks the slight rise may be due to the fact that I am a smoker, so I became a non-smoker today, it was something I said I was going to do after being diagnosed in Aug.09.  I   am to see BS on Mon., onc. thinks infected seroma I had is still infected, since it is still warm and slightly larger.  I thought it had gone down quite a bit. aspirated 2x and 2 courses of antibiotics.  The beast never sleeps does it.  Just when you think you have your feet on the ground, they get swept out again.  I keep telling myself it is what it is and worrying isn't going to change anything.  Did find a new PCP, woman Dr. I have heard good things about and will fire old one for his behavior and attitude in telling me TA's were up.  He has always been condescending, this was over the line. I feel a little calmer now that I am taking action.  Thank you for your concern, hugs back at you  Karen 

Karen, there is a stop smoking thread. It really helped me. I've been smoke-free for 7 months now. I just tested the link and it won't work? Just search for smoking and you will find it!

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/727307

Avatar is me with the wild horses in the background @our retreat. Barbara - Blog at http://PostBCJourney.blogspot.com
Diagnosis: 4/30/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-

Hi Guys

Bit quiet these days. Snow has returned so having a lazy day, watching the box and catching up on facebook etc.

Dancing on Ice has just started it's new series and I just LOVE it.

Very nervous girls. I have a Medical Assessment to determine if I am fit for work (I so am not) but it's been hived out to a very dodgy VERY MUCH FOR PROFIT American outfit called ATOS, the assessors for which don't even have to be DOCTORS!!!!!   It's all put in to dicredited software called LiMA. 7 out of 10 people are rejected (70% are passed on appeal, so it is costly and a waste of time). VERY,VERY angry, as is the Citizens Advice Board, all charities, Cancer, Athritis etc. It is costing an unholy amount to fund these shysters. ANyway, I am going in with my sister (who is probably more qualified medically than the assessor) a dictaphone (which I will buy tomorrow) and some very tough questions that I will be putting to the 'Doctor' This is so alien to our ethos and principles. I am contacting my MP, MSP and MEP (all our representatives) about this outrage. It is costing US almost £1b per annum - to a private and unethical company. I have decided that I am going to enjoy this, and will do everything I can to destroy them and replace them with a proper, medically trained and PUBLICALLY owned system of assessment who have no vested interest in putting seriously ill people (they call us 'customers!') though this torment - for bonuses!. ANyhow, they haave taken on a tough nut with me. I will make the cretin who tries the psychological routine on me fell likethe maggot they seem to be. I have read the most damning inditments today.

Also have my first appointment with my breast surgeon since I finished rads this time last year on Friday, so please say a prayer. Boob is still hot and bit sore, fells like there is cardboard under the skin and still a bit swollen, so we'll see what he says. God knows when I'll be able to get recon.

Sorry for the rant. I just cannot believe the tactics these crooks get up to. Judges have declared that some reports "are nonsensical" The amount of stuff on the net is astounding and totally disgusting, I find it hard to believe this is the UK. For example if you can walk up 2 stairs using a handrail, you are deemed fit for work. One chap had in his notes "he can make tea and tend to his goldfish" So fighting fit then! Another woman says she "pottered about" and this morphed into "she does pottery all day" These are from the cases the Judge says are "nonsensical" There are loads of them. We do need fore MEDICAL ASSESSMENTS - by SUITABLY QUALIFIED medical staff. So ANGRY. This has to stop. Nets is on the case.

Thanks girls - feel better now. Wish me luck for both hells next week!

Nets xxxx 

So I am a little nervous... my estrogen level has been up since November (57 - 64, wants it below 32) so either the Lupron isn't enough to keep ovaries off or Femara is not working. Not sure which, the weird thing is the scans I just had showed no change but... Waiting to hear from onc what latest number is (from this wks draw) but I think I am headed to oopherectomy. Not that I mind that so much but this is first time drugs have failed. I know I should not complain since I got 4 yrs from this but I worry. The idiot (aka formerly dh) does not know and I don't want him to, will make whatever arrangements w/o him ie getting to hospital and getting home and what ever recovery help I need. Should be in/out thing but don't know. Also a bit concerned because the bile duct is still dilated, I think it just gallstones but the way onc mentioned it, and wanted me to onc gyn surgeon (just in case)... Wonder what they will find.  This is also about 1 yr from when the idiot announced that he was having an affair (for past 6 yrs) and wanted to continue it openly but did not want divorce but to share the house and care for me and be friends . He is in such a fantasy world I can't believe it.  The more he talks the more crazy it all sounds. ARGH.

Dear Cathi, glad the weekend was quiet, sorry you are in pain, it's good that you did a jammies day, during the week I know ou go at fullspeed with Ella and Landon.  I had a good appt with my BS yesterday, physical exam, blood work and US.  He sees no evidence of any problem, no infection, seroma has been reabsorbed by my body.  He said most onc. don't rely on the cancer TM's unless there is a huge difference and some evidence off a problem, I feell fine.  In fact 2 of the tests showed me in the normal range, the third up 1/2 of one point, proably the smoking, I'm down to 5 a day, I was at a little over a pack, boy is my house getting cleaned!!!!!!!  I'll be meeting with an onc. he admires, so will have a far superior team.  How's your weather?, I know lovtoquilt tooka spill with the icy conditions in the Carolinas, everyone in the states affected stay safe, we are at 25 with snow expected this afternoon 2-6 inches thru tomorrow.  Karen

It's been forever and a day!!!  If you remember me...I am still around...just busy as usual...as most of you.

Did try and catch up, boy Cathi...my heart just goes out to you!! You have been dealing with so many struggles and emotions. I am hoping this slowing down is for good..and continues. Wish I was there to give you a big hug!!!

I hope everyone had a good holiday season, despite anything that was going on....families can be very difficult!!! The holiday's sure did fly by!!

For me..they were really very nice!! Tom and my real first holiday together.  We celebrated our 1 year in December. Our relationship gets better everyday!  After the craziness of the holidays at home and work....I had a scare in early Dec. I found a lump..in my good breast!! Freaked me out..to say the least. But thank God...after MRI and Mammo...only scar tissue!! 

Tom just had surgery on his knee, to remove the burser sack...which had grown to a mammoth size! He is doing well, and will be off work for at least 4 wks. So I have been busy taking care of him when I am not working.

Our flights have been cancelled or delayed..due to all of the crazy weather!!

I try and keep up with most of you on FB...but even that I am not on very often.

I just had my 51st b'day yesterday...woohooo....another year!!!

Love you all my sisters.....wishing all of you a very healthy and happy year!

xoxo

Lisa

My mistake, Shirley was talking about last winter.

Hi guuys, waiting for my transport to see breast surgeon and am physically shaking. I guess that is to be expected and will factor into my life from now on.

I resheduled to interrogation til next Thur, I bought a dictaphone as these crooks have been known to alter all answers. mThat's what you get when they have a target of failing 70% (some reports say 80%) of patients, they fabricate the boxes they tick. I have contacted my MP, who is VERY nvolved in exposing ATOS - spoke to his secretary and he will be in conta ct wiith me on his return from London. This is so alien to our ethos, and - shamefully, it was the last Labour Government who instigated it.

Will let you know how I get on wih Onc today.

 Say a prayer girls, please as I am so apprehensive

Nets xxxx