Wills, Friends and What to Do

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SpunkyGirl
SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

This is something that I think about from time to time, and I know my CyberSisters do too, and I know that for all the planning I've already done "just in case" that I still could do more. 

Because of my DH's situation and both of us having been through cancer, I feel like my just in case plans need to be especially solid.  My BF is the named guardian for my boys, and fortunately she and her DH are doing pretty well despite this dismal economy.  I know that if the worst case scenario happens that she will get adequate monthly funds to take care of their needs.  They already get social security because of their dad's disability, and I know that alone will be enough for the day to day things.  Does anyone know exactly how that works?  Will she automatically get their social security to disseminate as necessary or will those funds go into the estate account?   Also, I've been thinking that I should also provide an "up front" payment to her from the estate that would cover such things as any remodeling that she would have to do to make room for the boys and for anything like that that comes up when this kind of stuff happens.  I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has someone from outside the family named as a guardian for my kids, and I was just wondering how you navigate through these kinds of questions.  Thankfully, I'm doing pretty well and feeling great, but I'd much rather deal with these things now and just get them out of the way. 

Thanks for your input.  I pray for us all every day!

Love

Bobbie

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited January 2011

    Hi, Bobbie,

    When my mother died of BC when I was 10, my aunt became my legal guardian. My mom had made the arrangement ahead of time. I'm sure my aunt had to file paperwork to initiate the Social Security payments. She controlled the funds until I turned 21. Even when I went to live with my foster mother, my aunt continued to control the money, sending monthly checks to my foster mom.

    I think you're very smart to prepare ahead. I have friends who have no health problems but have already drawn wills, appointed executors, and named guardians for their children. Car accidents and brain aneurysms can happen to anyone.

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2011

    Celt,

    Did your mom do anything else unique that you thought was especially helpful?  Did she provide any upfront funds to your aunt, or were you solely supported from month to month with the social security payments?  I know if worst case happens, and even given that there is a family cap, the boys should be well taken care of just on those funds.  Thanks for your feedback!
    Anyone else?

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2011

    P.S.  Of course there will be an estate that they will have access to when they become adults, and there are college accounts for both.....

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited January 2011

    Funds from Social Security, the sale of our house, and any other assets went into a trust fund for me, and my aunt invested a good portion of that in stocks (that was back when the stock market was good and fairly safe!). My month-to-month living expenses were covered by Social Security and perhaps the dividends from the stocks. Since we lived in California at the time of my mom's death, the documents were filed with the courts here. I know that my aunt had to file a report with the California courts every year, accounting for how the money was spent. After I turned 18, she would send me a copy every year at the same time she sent the original to the court.

    I'm sorry, I don't remember much more. A lump sum payment was never mentioned, so I don't know if that occured. My mom did think things through pretty well, and from what I remember, the transition went smoothly, even though it was such a hard time. She even found a good home for our dog! That was especially helpful because, although I missed my dog, I knew she was with good people, and that was a little less heart ache I had to deal with.

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited January 2011

    We wrote our will 22 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and oldest daughter was going on 3...now I have 3 kids...youngest is 12....obviously our will needs updating....when we wrote it we  hads friends as guardians and my parents as back up...well we no longer are in touch with these people and my parents wouldn't be able to take care of DD,....I'm thinking of naming  older DD and SIL as guardians and maybe son as back up...But beyond thinking about it, I haven't given much thought to the details....Procrastination isn't one of my better traits!!!

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