Fellow "deletees"

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  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited January 2011

    Y'all are not getting the concept of blessing someone who does ill to you. If you ask that they come closer to God's will, which is what blessing is, and they do that their behavior will improve. And that is what I want for our troll(s -to let us be and to act like (an) adult(s).

    Edited because there is no proof it is only one person.

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2011

    Still way more charitable than I feel. I would describe the way I feel as borderline postal.

  • mollyann
    mollyann Member Posts: 472
    edited January 2011

    Do the donors to this organization know how they treat breast cancer patients trying to communicate with each other?

    Seems like a scandal.

  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011

    rosemary-b:  Your blessing concept is the same as "Pray for Your Enemies".  I was always told your enemies have no power over you if you pray for them.  Works for me! 

  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited January 2011

    Probably calm because I raised 7 kids and learned what to do if I started to take things personally. Meditation helps. Medication might too but I don't have any here.

    Edited for typo.

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    I have a feeling that the deleter has a personal vendetta against some of us.  Be very careful out there!

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited January 2011

    Only way to get their attention.  We're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore!

  • mollyann
    mollyann Member Posts: 472
    edited January 2011

    Is anybody in Pennsylvania (location of bc.org) where the local papers might do a story on THE DELETER?

    Seriously, a lot of people who donate to this organization think their money goes to helping breast cancer patients, not abusing them.

  • IronJawedBCAngel
    IronJawedBCAngel Member Posts: 470
    edited January 2011

    They should not be asking for donations to a message board that you can not trust to be operated in a fair and equitable manner.  How is it fair that hateful comments about individuals, the President, and the first family are allowed to stand, but posts that argue against hatred are deleted?  Bullies of any kind should not be tolerated.

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    It certainly wasn't a Christian thing to do.  I hope that if the deleter(s) claim that they're Christian, they take a moment or two to consider how they've behaved. 

  • Medigal
    Medigal Member Posts: 1,412
    edited January 2011

    Barbara:  The page has been deleted.  I can't access it.  Can anyone else?  It is so hard to believe this crap has made the news in two cities and Melissa doesn't try harder to find the perpetrators?? This really is pathetic.  Maybe she and they think because we have bc we don't have the courage to fight back.  If we put our heads together, we can find a way to stop this.  We are strong enough to fight bc, by damn it, we CAN and WILL find a way to stop these sickos!!  Oh!  I am getting emotional again but you don't win a battle by just bitching about it.  It takes action!  I agree we all need to keep our personal info off the internet as much as possible.  If any belong to Facebook, be aware of what is on there.

  • mollyann
    mollyann Member Posts: 472
    edited January 2011

    Everyone,

    Keep a copy of these pages because this thread will disappear just like other threads Melissa doesn' like have.

    Medgal, you are right. They think because we are women and breast cancer survivors we won't take action. I can't see prostate cancer survivors putting up with this high-handedness.

    Is anybody here a lawyer? The Terms of Service may cover this issue.

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2011

    Medigal, I found it when I googled. Edited the post out of respect to remove it and the name of the bullied person. She would surely not want to relive that again. And it a sad state of affairs that she ever had to deal with something that horrible.

    Avatar is me with the wild horses in the background @our retreat. Barbara - Blog at http://PostBCJourney.blogspot.com
    Diagnosis: 4/30/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    Wouldn't the multiple deletions and bannings fall under the "no harrassment or stalking" rule?  And aren't there real laws about stalking?

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    State Cyberstalking, Cyberharassment, and Cyberbullying Laws:

    http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=13495

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Okay .. I go to the store come back and all hell has broken loose.

    Where is my f'ing thread???????

    What stupid whiners got the only thread I enjoyed deleted???????

    To use a phrase from Blue ... "I'm pissed."

    Bren

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2011

    I'm sorry that the thread got deleted.  It gave me an "adrenaline rush."  But, you cannot blame Melissa.  She just knows the thread got out of hand and that was that.  She warned us and she came back and probably got angry because she's had to do this over and over.  I know how unfair we all felt when this happened waaaayyyy back.  We do not know who the deleters are.

    Blue, I hope your "pointed PM" does some good.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    On line bullying has been an issue on BCO in the past.  There was a t.v. news article about it in Philly and in Chicago about a year ago.  In fact, I've still got the link to the one on t.v. in Chicago.

    What bugs me the most is the recent online bullys and stalkers are also THIEVES (hiding out in their dens of iniquity).  They stole the freakin' thread.

    Why didn't Melissa punish the stalkers?????

    Bren

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    Maybe she's in the process of punishing the stalkers but we just don't know about it yet.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Hi E .. maybe, but I'm not holding my breath.  It was probably just easier to delete the thread and be done with it.

  • Janeluvsdogs
    Janeluvsdogs Member Posts: 242
    edited January 2011

    I'm just catching up. I posted a study from the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium on lymph node dissection a month ago and it was "deleted by the community."

    I was banned for two weeks for mentioning it.

    I wrote to the "community" saying how can you ban a study? I got no answer. Melissa has no accountability. She decides what we should talk about and how. Period.

    It may be legal but it is not good for potential grant givers or donors to hear there is no free speech here.

  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited January 2011

    What the....?  Jane, on which thread did you post the study?

  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2011

    Has anyone noticed that the You Say Yes, I Say No thread has been removed from the Moving On board?  I avoided it, but have to say I'm not sorry it's gone.  I haven't been on the one you are are discussing, but at least more than one thread was removed.

    I do agree that deleting the threads that cause such are an easier way to be done with it.

    I joined way, long ago and it's the only board I was really active on for a long time, still is, but I limit my reading and posting.  So you can imagine my shock when we had the first angry, out of line, posts.  It went on for a while and was removed as well.  Experience is a great teacher for a beginning board, which this was back in '02.  All the explainations in the world made no difference to those involved and pleading for sanity was ignored.  So, delete.  Easy.  And the boards were made a safer place for those who wanted to discuss bc and all the things about IT. 

    Medicine and politics are intertwined -- in our states and in DC, but shouldn't be on this site, IMO.  Yes, we went to arms with the health ins. changes last spring, and I think that was correct, because it affected us so deeply--each of us, and our kids.  But otherwise, it should be about the gals who actually have little else on their minds other than bc and their journey thru it.  Again, IMO. 

    When we have so much mental energy to expend on infighting and personal attacks, it sorta says we''re done with bc and really cannot hide behind that shield any longer.  There are so many places to take on "discussion" or "debate", let's find those, and if we want to hang out here to help newbies, Fine, but take the other "stuff" outside.

    So, if you wish to flame me, please do so in a lady- like manner.  And if not, that's pretty good,too. 

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2011

    Some people just hate. Sad but true. I am a pretty serious donor giving to BCO several times since diagnosis as well as LBBC including extra money so that needy women could attend the LBBC conference in November. I am thinking my dollars may be better spent elsewhere.

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited January 2011

    Iodine, the 'you say goodbye' thread is the one we are lamenting.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Dotti .. I'm not going to flame you.  Your opinions are pretty darn good.

    But, I liked the thread that was deleted .. it kept my adrenalin going and I learned all kinds of new things from the various posters.  It was like my daily fix. 

    The majority of this sites discussions are related to chemo and mastectomy and reconstruction, neither of which I had.  As with any support group, the most effective help is newcomers reaching out to each other.  And oldtimers keeping an eye on things and offering wisdom from experience.

    I know it's weird, but I don't have a "home" thread anymore .. and I enjoyed the banter on the healthcare/Blue's thread.  I'd join the book thread, but with my ADD I can only read a little at a time!  Guess I'll stick to the atheists thread for now.

    Hugs,

    Bren

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited January 2011

    Hello All, 

    I am very sorry that this has upset many of you. Unfortunately, it had gotten quite nasty, and when I checked my private messages this morning, there were a number of requests to please end it

    Although I completely agree that most of you were very informative, interested, and kind, there were too many hurtful posts "deleted by the community". There is always this danger that the emotions involved with politically oriented issues take over  --- and people are hurt along the way.

    If you can start a thread, and keep it nice and fair, we are so pleased to support this. 

    Please understand our dilemma. I am not trying to further hurt anyone, just protecting the safety and feelings of the overall community at large.

    I welcome your constructive ideas! 

    Many thanks, and our appologies,

    Melissa and team 

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2011

    Well gals .. Melissa said we could try again. 

    How do we keep it nice and fair.  Geez, I thought everyone agreed to the no tattling rule on Blue's thread.  What do we do about people who don't regularly post, but come along and hit that dreaded delete button?

    Does anyone have any ideas on how we can self-regulate?

    Bren

  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited January 2011

    there needs to be a button to show who was reporting the post so that people are accountable for their own actions. How hard would it be to program that?

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