May 2010 Chemo

thanks for your advice.. I just cancelled my onc appt until 1st week january. Funny because that is exactly what I did last year when I was to get my results to tell me whether I had cancer or not...and we all know how that turned out...so I hope this is not an omen...

anyhow here is my crazy insurance story. this week I have 4 MRI's, 2 cat scans and 1 bone scan. My company changed insurance from aetna to oxford(oxford stinks). they claim that my hospital (sloan kettering) is in network, the doctor is in network but the radiology department is not. WHAT????? how ridiculous is that. After 70 min on the phone with both the person who approves the testing and a supervisor it was determined that they do not have the proper medical code. SO I said FIX IT...they cannot. They are actually going to put that I am going to a different facility for the testing but I really will go to Sloane.   Now how is that going to work when Sloane bills them?  I cannot believe I am even writing this because it is so so stupid. I know in the next few months I will be plagued with tons of bills and be forced to fight it....Yesterday while at Sloane  they knew all about what was happening to me and they had 2-3 people working on it right in front of my eyes. I was really impressed. One  nice scheduler stated that it was a darn shame that not only do you have to fight this disease but you  have to deal with the ignorance of big insurance companies.  How true!

Paxton: glad to hear from you.. I hope it works out with your son. More worries is not what you need right about now.. I still cry everyday. Mostly on the way home from work. I truly believe reality has set in.

Patricia: thank goodness for my granddaugher. she cheers the house up. Yes it is like raising a baby again but she makes me laugh. She calls my wig my hat and when I take it off she runs to get it, puts it on her head and walks around with it....so so cute...You will love this holiday with a baby around

Leanna: oh no ..mother again...You stand your ground. You are 100% right... aaah you are going to miss your little buddy now he has gone to school....when do you go back to work?

Daiva: sorry you had a bad day. update me on to where you stand with your PS..I might of missed a few posts here and there? Is your surgeries over or are there still more?

I have had my implants since Nov 22nd. I don't want to be a debbie downer but honestly the new ones still feel quite fake, I am still numb on both sides of my breasts. I did have lymph nodes removed so that is probably why I am so numb. Yes they aren't as hard as the TE's but I was really expecting more. Maybe it is just my body who knows. Anyhow I am glad I am done with the surgeries. Will get nipples in April 2011 and then the aerola later. That is how my PS works it. I also started putting bio oil on my scars. Has anyone found anything better? let me know

Patricia - HOOT!!!!  Happy dance!!!! 

Jersey - bummer on the implants... I hate this TE... it is so uncomfortable, and so WIDE... it pokes out under my arm... and don't get me started on insurance companies (again... haha!!).  I just had to call my disability carrier again today, because I didn't get a check... nor a courtesy phone call or letter... when I called, she said my claim was up for "review" tomorrow.  I said, what does that mean, and she said that they are reviewing my claim since my premiums were not paid; and then SHE said, and I do understand that your premiums come out of your payment (so the premium would NOT be paid if they had NOT sent me my check... duh).  About an hour later I got a call asking if I had a return to work date.. and I said yes, Dec 26; and she said ok, your "new" date is Dec 22 and you should get a check next week (all along my checks have been sent out on the 12th of the month).  Bottom line is that they were not going to pay my last month if I had not called them.   Anywho....

I'm sorry you are dealing with that crap.  They must get bonuses for not paying money they are suppose to pay because they try to find every way not to!!  I can't tell you how many notices I have gotten from my health insurance company telling me ONLY to pay X amount of money no matter what they bill me... and I have had to call medical providers and say my health ins. says only $500 is allowed, and that I should only be paying $50, not $200.  And, they say ok.   

Sorry, I know I missed a couple of ladies... my computer is being a butt and kicking me off the internet randomly, and you guys were on the last page!! 

Patricia ~ joining the happy dance :-)  !!!!!!!!

 Jersey ~ my ins. payed for everything at Hopkins, except for radiology too!  They worked it out for me - argh!!!   Such a pain!

Leanna ~ nice to have you back!  

Pleasant dreams everyone! 

patricia::: Yeah for you...Best news I heard all day.

Majdula: so sorry to hear the news about the node. Other than masectomy what would be your options? It seems endless for you. Keep us updated...

hi magda,
i also had narrow margins (one side was 1mm, and the rest were OK) and one node with a micromet. My BS and onc decided there was no need to reoperate, and that rads should deal with anything left behind. in the meantime, I have an infection in the breast incision and a seroma that keeps draining, so i can't start rads until it heals. I'm glad i don't have to have another surgery, and am taking advantage of this break to do fun things :-)  Hope things work out for you the way you want!

Nicole

On the bright side, girls, I've put on mascara for the first time in months today (I tried last week too, but that doesn't count because it looked horrible). WOOHOO :-)!

Daiva, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, I'm keeping you in mine too! I'm a lot calmer today and hoping for the best :-). I guess I'm freaking out because I let others scare me - at least I have something new to work on ;-). Big hug!

Good evening, ladies,

Denise, isn't good flirting the best thing for feeling alive LOL? My lashes are in several rows too and different lengths, but I'm so happy to have them back.

Now, on to the good news - no re-excision nor mastectomy! The narrow margin is under the skin, so that isn't a problem. Phew, I spent the whole week-end wondering if I shouldn't refuse in case my onc suggested repeated surgery, so I'm glad that wasn't necessary :-).

Best to everyone!

CONGRATS Magda!   That's wonderful news!!!!!  

Hello Ladies,  Just returned from Radation #26.  I have 33.  I am pretty red/purple and have a rash that itches.  Even my back itches, because one of my rads is from the underside. Yikes!  Denise- I have had phantom breast feelings, just recently.  Also, my chest wall is so much tighter since rads.  Magda, yeah for all your good news! My lashes and brows are thicker than they have ever been and I need to shave my legs every day. Wow!  Nicole, glad you are enjoying your break. I had a long break before rads and I am glad now.  Daiva and Leanna hope thanks for celebrating my benign tumors.  Today I bought new glasses.  I wanted something smaller, as I plan to keep my hair pretty short.  I actually love it now!  And heck, it is so easy!  Wishing everyone a great Christmas.  We deserve it!  Prayers for a wonderful new year for all of us.

Denise:  I've been experimenting a lot with the juices.  I can't do the all green.  It literally makes me shutter.  So, here's what I've found tastes good and Gage actually chugs it down.  I take a spoon and plop a few spoonfuls of non-fat vanilla Greek yogurt, a big handful of spinach (kale, collards or whatever), half a bag or so of frozen sliced strawberries (sometimes I let them thaw in the fridge cuz I don't like the frozen drink thing all the time), and enough water or milk to make it a smoothie consistancy.  Sometimes I add a few other things like some super green powder or Chia seeds or sprouts.  Oh, I almost forgot....I add roughly half a packet of crystal light lemonade singles (the sports one with truvia so no artificial sweetner).  Ta-da  Hope that helps.

I've been on the emotional bandwagon as well.  I feel like I should be so happy about being cancer free and done, but I find myself thinking all sorts of terrible things about life sucking.  I've busted out the meditation CD's again and try to catch a religious program here and there in the evening as well as watch a feel good movie and cry.  I watched On Golden Pond last night.  All must be helping some cuz I had a better day today. 

I'm attempting to make a Godiva chocolate cheesecake tomorrow.  Well, its the Cheesecake factory recipe but I'm not actually using any Godiva chocolate so hopefully it will still taste good.  Also making lil smokies and a veggie/cream cheese pizza on Friday for Christmas.  We're kind of doing the appetizer thing on Friday and a formal dinner on Saturday.  Not my most organized christmas.  I didn't buy wrapping paper because I thought I had a ton and only ended up with a little on one roll.  So I stuffed gifts into tiny giftbags.  Its quite ridiculous but I don't really even care. 

So, Merry Christmas    

Paxton - (((HUGS)))  I'm having trouble keeping my mind from going to those places too... I think there is something about the holidays, and the upcoming new year that gives us cause for reflection; and well, this year mortality was in the fore-front of most of our minds... I think!     Your juice sounds great!  Are you doing radiation or are you done?  (I'm sorry I don't know). 

Denise - great job on the walking!!  I need to meet you out there!  I keep saying I will start running soon, but the weather is cold, and quite frankly, I don't think I can put on my sports bra, and anything that touches my boob just irritates it... I don't even wear a bra most days, but thank goodness it's cold because I drape a scarf over the ladies so you can't tell that one sits just under my chin and the other below my armpit!!  LOL!! 

Magda - great news on the tumor too!!  YAY!!!

Patricia - I think I am looking forward to having short hair too... after forever of having super long hair that took about 20 minutes to just blow dry; it's nice to just take 20 minutes total to get out of the house.... from bed to door!  LOL.  I ran into a lady at the chemo lounge on Tuesday who finished chemo Oct 15 and already had enough hair to not wear a cover.... I finished Sept 14, and still only have about a 1/2 inch of hair!!  But, she did taxol last... I did AC last and figure I had another 3-4 weeks of AC in my system stopping hair growth... so maybe in another 2 months I'll have enough hair to get a style.   

Happy holidays everyone!!  (PS - thank goodness for "copy" because I lost this post and got it back!!)

My sisters!!! It's been so long and I've missed you all. I have been trying to keep up as much as possible and it's nice to see that we are starting to bounce back. All is well with me. Working hard and preparing for an apt. renovation - the one I was about to start when I got the 'word' last year. Everything seems to be back to normal except my eyelashes. Those suckers will just not grow - not even with the Rapid Lash I've been using but definitely a small price to pay.

I'm Jewish but it seems I have a bunch of Christmas plans this year so I'm excited about that. New Year's Eve will also be exciting. I work in Times Square and our office window faces the ball at eye level. We are having a charity event here so I'm sure it will be really nice.

I wanted to wish each and every one of you a very very happy holiday! I am sure 2011 is going to be a better year for all of us. I'm really looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible in person in 2011!!!

Merry Christmas to all my wonderful friends.  Even though I have not had much time to get on and post, I have been reading all of the posts from my phone.  I think of you all often and I am grateful for each of you.  Please have a very safe Holiday Season!

Hope everyone had a joyous holiday!  Now awaiting the first big blizzard of the year. Drats! I have a ob/gyn appt at 9:15 am and then was to be at the orthopedic in nyc for xrays and a look at my left hip....I hate when the weather ruins your plans.

Okay so who wants their tree down?  I do I do!!!