May 2010 Chemo
Comments
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Oh PAX, I am so happy to hear your news! God bless you -- you had such a harsh walk for a while there and now such WONDERFUL news! Love Kim
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Wooohooo Paxton! I'll join the happy dance!
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Yay for Paxton! *doing happy dance*
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Good Morning May Ladies Ditah,I keep forgetting to say I saw your GMA segment and loved seeing you on tv. Your hair looked amazing. It is so funny that I feel I know all of you and it was brought home to me when I watched the segment. It does not seem to matter that we have not met in person, we all have been so personal that there is a real connection! Kim love the new hat pic. I am just about 100% hatless and wigless now. I just feel more like myself without them. Leanna my underarm hair is growing too, but like the rest, is much more white. I have used an electric razor since dx, on the advice of my onc. It is a women's and works very well, but my hair is still very sparse under my arms, and on my legs. Hope you are feeling better and I am so sorry about the discomfort. Daiva OMG for the tatoo error. I cannot believe it. I am so sorry! Paxton, hope your spirits are lifting. Keep up the Y exercise and don't beat yourself up about occasional sweets. Yeah for the good pet scan! Denise I am glad your rads are almost finished. Yeah! I will not be finished by Christmas, and I am worried about my Jan trip. I may not be able to go. Glad you are still walking! Yesterday I saw the specialist about my thyroid. He ordered lab work on my parathyroid, and will do a biopsy of the part of my thyroid I have left. in Dec. He thinks it might be a parathyroid problem, since parathyroid malfunction has been found to link to breast cancer, and both my siblings have had parathyroid issues. So, there are more tests and possible surgery in my immediate future. Yet I am keeping a positive attitude about it. I am not ruling the trip out at this point. Magda, your gypsy story was so interesting. BTW I saw lots of gypsies in Paris, but none tried to tell my fortune.They did try to sell us a gold (?) ring Day, So sorry about your friend, how are you doing? Latte how is your recovery from surgery coming along? Talk to you all later, and don't forgot you are strong and awesome women! Patricia
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HELLO HELLO HELLO
WOW it has been so long since I posted;. Well had my exchange surgery yesterday. 1000% easier than the bilateral was. Same day surgery with no drains.I chose silicone implants and went down a little less than a bra size so it would help with the rippling. They put liquid derma something or other on me so I had no sutures outside..Sutures inside though. I had a dogear of skin on my right side that ps had to remove so there are sutures there as well. all in all not a bad day except for one thing....I busted my toe the night before surgery; I ran into the leg of an endtable and seen stars. I told the nurse prior to surgery and they did an xray. Low and behold it was fractured in 3 spots. OUCH...well after surgery all they could talk about was my toe. The ortho was down to see me and 3 other doctors as well and all said it was an abnormal break and they notified my onc. immediately. they wanted to run all kinds of scans fearing cancer in the bones.
I declined. I went home and talked to my onc today. She is going to repeat the bone scan, cat scan and do mri now that I have no TE's. She is not too worried though but remains cautiously optimistic. I personally think my bones were weakened from the taxol and I do have tons of arthritis everywhere. So now will have tests again next week. My toe hurt so doggone bad I forgot all about the surgery and it didn't hurt to have vicadin for the toe pain either.. so that is my new saga....
on my good news...I pick my son up from bootcamp 2 weeks from today. Glad I am rid of the TE'S...For sure I would be patted down (lol)
Leanna: I still have numbness where they took the nodes out. The feeling has gotten better since May but I am still numb. I think it never goes away.
Day: my hair looks like your september picture. So sorry about your friend...so sad.thanks for the mud pack advice. my skin is wretched
sacphoto and Daiva: can't wait for you to finish rads...
Paxton: glad things are looking up for you . I work at the ymca part time. they have great toddlers programs...glad you joined.. See if they have the livestrong program. If they do,. you can join free and get swimming classes, training and lots of other freebies...
magda: thinking of you..hope it all goes well
Drim: how is it going? your all done with everything now right? do you feel like back to normal yet
for all I have missed I apologize...missed reading the posts. been busy with my crazy life between mom and grandchild...
respect all of you...No one can ever know how we feel but each other...So glad I have all of you.
Any questions you have about the exchange let me know...:Will tell you all or pm you if you wish.
Early happy Turkey day!
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Njbhwgirl...So glad to here your exchange went well..so good to be getting all this wonderful good news from everyone..and excited for you about your son..going to feel good to give him a big hug!
Today I was a crying mess.. My cat is in the vet hospital..he has a blocked pee pee and I amazed at how much I am worried about him.. he is so sick just laying around on the floor crying he is so miserable. I went to the vet earlier then the appointment because I couldn't stand watching him any more..Just kept thinking about how much my stomach hurt last month and at least I could tell someone..They took him in even though I was 2 hour early for the appointment.
ONE MORE RAD! I am so excited ...and yes Patricia I too feel like I know everyone of you on here too..and I really hope we all can meet someday..
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Way to go Paxton! Glad to hear the tests were all clear! One of my surgeon's nurses said something that stuck with me the other day, and it resonated with me and reminded me of something you had written. She said that no matter what other people think say, they don't know what we've been through...and there are going to be some highs and lows. You've been through this TWICE, so I think that you are entitled to feel battered and bruised - physically and emotionally. Just my two cents - feel free to ignore me if you want (my husband usually does
Denise - I think we all have those days. I started blubbering at a story in an Oprah magazine that I was reading while on the treadmill today. Good think I keep kleenex near by because of the bleeping Herceptin that makes my nose run like a faucet. BTW, I also had to take my cat to the vet today. He had a bite on his paw from our other cat that turned into an infection. I hope your cat has a quick recovery. I'm one of those people who think my cats are members of the family, so I get it. Also, congratulations on finishing rads! (Which you will probable be by the time you read this
Patricia - I'm sending lots and lots of healing thoughts your way. Maybe you'll breeze through the rest of your rads with no burns! You said that you leave on Jan 11th right? When are you supposed to be done rads? Do you miss any days around Christmas? I do, the Cancer Centre is closed Dec 24th, 27th, and 31st. Yeah for me not having to drive in around Christmas, but boo because that is three days tacked on to the end of my treatment.
Jersey - OWW! I hope the drugs make your toe feel better, that just makes me cringe! Reminds me of what my husband always says when I'm complaining "Want me to hit your toe with a hammer - it'll make you forget everything else?" Guess it works huh.
For those of you I didn't mention - you are all in my thoughts, each and every day! I still think of this as being the difference in what got me through the last six months, so thanks everyone, big hugs.
I met with the rad oncologist last week. I start rads on Dec. 6th for a total of 25, unless the pathology report shows that the tumor was closer to the skin and then I'll have more, shorter ones (maybe what you guys refer to as boosts?) I go tomorrow for them to do the practice one and for the tattoos or whatever they use to mark me. I also go for an echocardiogram tomorrow to check my heart while I'm still on Herceptin. I'm guessing it's fine though - I can do a 1/2 hour on the treadmill no problem. My ROM continues to improve. My arm really tensed up about a week after surgery, but I've been doing the exercises and they help. I got my drain out last Friday - it was bruising my sternum from shifting, and was extremely uncomfortable. It was still draining about 100ml a day though, so my right breast (or where my breast USED to be lol) and underarm kind of look like a water bed, you know when you poke one side and it just keeps rippling? LOL Sexy mental picture...NOT!
One of my co-workers was killed in a car accident driving to work on Friday. I didn't really know her (she worked in the central office for our school division) but it really made me think about how lucky we are. Even now, when I really shouldn't, there are so many things that I take for granted...so I'm off to tell my husband I love him and give my little guy a kiss goodnight.
FYI, it was -30 Celsius here this morning (which is -22 Fahrenheit.) BRRR. At least I look like the rest of the population now - wearing toques!
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yea, sometimes it helps to think of how lucky we are compared to others. I just saw a story yesterday with a 6 year old girl who was kidnapped, raped repeatedly and then strangled. When I see her picture with all of the innocense of a 6 year old, I just think how absolutely unfair and horrible it is. Makes me feel like what I've been throuh was tough, but nothing compared to such horror. The key for me though is to not get consumed by all of the horrible things in the world, Just enought to either help out or keep me grounded.
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Sachphotomom: Hope your cat gets well soon. And everyone -- yes, emotions run pretty wild now for me. I had to put down one of my dachshunds back 2 months ago -- he was 12 years old (had him only 4.5 years as he was a rescue) and as we were standing at the vet's office and they were putting the "sleeping -- to heaven we go" medicine, I was crying thinking -- only a little bit ago I was having medication sent into my veins to "save me" and here he is having something sent into his veins to take his life. It made me cry more. Sometimes all of a sudden a story or a thought will turn up the tears. But Paxton, you are right -- we can't tune in too much or it would so make any of us depressedly ill but enough to be aware for moments to lend a hand. Love to you all as I am reading stories of surgeries and still much of a "walk" for alot of you. I am finished except for the Arimidex and of course check ups and being alert. Hugs to those of you still walking an important walk!
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No more Radiation!...woo hooo! Next week a couple of gals that I met sitting in the waiting lounge and I are going to celebrate by going for a walk then out to lunch. My DH took the day off today and we went out to lunch to celebrate the end of Rads..
Kimloves...I too will be on Arimidex...doc say there are no side effect with it. You say your having hot flashes..Were you still having hot flashes before chemo and rads? My hot flashes we very mild before everything..and now not so much..
We have decided to go ahead and let the doc do surgery on my cat..he is still in the hospital they will be working on him first thing Friday ...he needed to stabilize before they could work on him..he is so much better except for the stones in his bladder but his kidneys and everything else look good..I was so worried we would have to put him down..he should be able to come home on Friday evening..
Daiva one more?
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY WARRIOR FRIENDS !
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Sorry I've been out of our forum for a couple of days, I have an intern in our lab right now so I'm busy paying attention to her. We have a lot of fun though and today we're going to a postgrad conference where my PhD student will be and then going to lunch, so I'm a little more free now.
Daiva I love orang-utangs, so I'm quite happy with my look for now :-). I can even see a hint of eyebrows coming in -- funny, no visible stubble from close up, but when looking into a mirror from a greater distance, there is something. Hurray! How are your TE's? Please let us know, I'm thinking about you often.
Ditah I haven't had my surgery yet, it's scheduled for next week. BTW I finally saw your segment on GMA - you look great girl! It was touching to see the anchor get emotional about her experience three years ago too...
Leanna Welcome back! I guess your hair will get back to your original colour finally, it's just a little different after chemo ;-). Hope your soreness gets better soon!
Latte Interesting thing about the tamox metabolizer - I'll ask about it too, though I have no other choice, being pre-menopausal. Too bad if it means more hot flushes though... :-(
Paxton YAY for your PET scan! Sending thoughts and prayers your way! You and Jenn make me feel bad about my excercise routine, which is none at the moment. I feel good enough for exercise, but got soo lazy lately LOL! And you are right, others just can't understand what we've been through. I can't wait to be out of this "intensive" part of my life so I don't have to talk about it anymore to people who either show too much sympathy or none.
Kim Great to hear you're doing well, it's making us all see the light at the end of the tunnel :-).
Patricia Praying that your thyroid problem gets resolved smoothly! Such a pity you won't be able to get away at the end of the year, but think of other New Years you'll be able to enjoy as you wish. I don't need a razor as yet, but I wonder if waxing will be permitted as it lasts longer than a shave. As for the gypsy, it's been long since I met one to want to tell me my fortune, they just seem to have disappeared. Usually I see them at roadworks or other similar work.
Jersey So happy for your easy replacement surgery! Ouch, your toe must hurt - I guess the bone scan will show no malignancy, but I can understand your onc is just plain cautious. How is your Mum?
Denise I hope your cat gets better soon, I never had one but I love those little creatures and their independent way of being. YAY for your last rad, be sure to celebrate it properly :-)!
Jenn You are so right about us being lucky. We are lucky to have each other, we are lucky to have taken this particular phase of our lives as a challenge to make us stronger and better, we are lucky full stop :-)! You made me laugh with your "sexy mental picture" - OK we ARE sexy, but no one can see it ;-).
It has turned even colder here, temperatures around zero centigrade (so still OK as compared to Canada), but there's finally some sun after a gray week, so I'm looking forward to going out.
Big hug to everyone!
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Happy Thanksgiving May Warriors I am so thankful for each and everyone precious one of you. You have made this journey so much easier. Thank you for reminding me that I am strong and for offering support and kindness and encouragement every step of the way. Each and everyone of you are special to me, and I pray for your health and happiness every day. Love Patricia
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patricia; and we are thankful for you as well..your wit never ceases to amaze me...
sacphoto: how is your kitty? YEAH FOR BEING DONE!!! WHOPPEE
Daiva: waiting to hear your done as well....we are all moving on ladies. Will admit when I see the other boards that say starting chemo oct nov dec....it makes me so sad...I feel for all those ladies as well and for what lies ahead of them.. I am thankful it is not us but wish I would never ever see a board like that again.
majdula: only one week to go...you are in my thoughts daily...mom is good..thanks so much for asking.
well I made the decision to be alone this thanksgiving. My mom went to my brothers and my daughter and baby went to my sister in laws. I was so very depressed I could not envision myself at anyones table this year. I miss my husband so so very much..Thanksgiving was always our holiday. We cooked for 20 plus family members every year and loved every minute of it We started cooking on wednesday evening, went to bed early then got up at the crack of dawn and cooked until guests came. On friday morning we went shopping, took the kids to see a movie in the afternoon and then invited neighbors over for leftovers. I can't believe how much I miss this. Being that I had surgery on monday I could not do thanksgiving dinner. Truthfully I was happy to be alone. I slept, put out xmas decorations and was able to speak to my son for one hour without any interruptions....I miss him terribly as well...But thankful that I can pick him up in 2 weeks... sorry ladies for blubbering,,,,and thanks for listening... I am thankful I am alive and that I can help raise my grandaughter....
okay so tell me ......what great black friday sales did you get?
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Jersey ~ that's what we're here for - to listen! I'm sending you an extra hug with lots of love. The grief and lonliness you feel from your husband's loss shows how much you loved him and I bet you had a pretty special relationship. I'm so happy your son will be here to wrap his arms around you with a great hug. Glad you got to talk with him with no interruptions. How's the toe? ouch!!! So good to hear your exchange went well. Have you had your scan yet? Keep us posted....
Magda ~ my calendar in the kitchen is of monkeys and orangutangs - they make me laugh! When's your surgery???
Paxton ~ I'm joining in on the happy dance. Can't you just see it? I can visualize all of us around you boogying and celebrating!!! I'd bring along lots of pink feather boas... We are still sexy mommas :-)))) just not in the traditional way.
Patricia ~ sending love and positive thoughts and prayers your way. I wish you didn't have to deal with the thyroid and parathyroid issues!!
Denise and Jenn ~ what's the status on the cats? Yes, they are part of our families and we feel when they are not well. Denise ~ happy dance for you too! You made it sister!!!!!
Kim ~ great to hear you're well. I love your photo :-)
As for myself, my right breast is now at least a cup or 2 sizes smaller than the left. The tech who gave me the tat felt awful. My rad onc, PS, the techs, etc. have never heard of puncturing a TE. PS will see me in a few wks. So we're not sure if there is a tiny leak inside my body or if it has stopped. The director of oncology came to meet with me and to apologize and to assure me they will assume any associated costs incurred if I may need to have it replaced. I think they were all shaking in their boots. The tech was dodging me the following day and I called her in and gave her a big hug. Mistakes happen. She's been doing this 20 yrs. My fingers are crossed it won't need to be replaced. I'm a bit concerned because I don't know how much the skin will be able to be stretched now that it's fried. My last tx will be on Mon. It's so wonderful to be near the end of active tx. My body will get a little break til ooph in Jan. It's so great watching the hair come in, even if it's not the color of my choice :-) I only lost 1/3 of my lashes and my brows just thinned out. The hair on my legs and elsewhere is growing like crazy. I might need to back off of the biotin because I'm not loving the facial fuzz. It does, however, make me feel like it's a sign of life and health!
Thank you to EACH of you for sharing this journey with me. May chemo warriors rock!
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Jersey So sorry ot hear about your lonely Thanksgiving, it must be so hard without your beloved husband. On the other hand you have children and grandchildren to cheer you up and I was also glad to hear your Mum is doing well. And don't apologize for blubbering, that's what we're here for ;-). We don't have black Friday here, so I just went to work and back. The weather was cold and gray so I just walked a bit on my way home, but didn't feel like doing more.I wanted to go to see Take 6 in concert, but decided against it to avoid crowds before my surgery.
Daiva I can see we're on the same wavelength monkeywise ;-). I hope you won't need any surgery for your punctured TE, I just said a prayer for you! Your reaction to the personnel was just great, I think they must have been terrified about that you might sue them. Good thing about our experience is that we're getting to tell what matters and what not - we're alive and the rest is either a bonus or just not worth bothering :-). My surgery is next Friday, check-in into hospital a day earlier for a wire insertion (to lead the BS during the surgery, as I'm in complete remission). I'm quite curious, he has a good reputation, but seemed a bit cynical to me during our first appt, Dr. House sort like (commented on the size of my breasts first "Well, they're a bit... yeah average size" - B cup - then told me that lumpectomy in my case may mean re-excision and that a full mx might be preferable, but I won't let him do that even though it's simpler for hi, but turned out to be at least a little human when he saw I looked worried about anesthesis - told me doctors are sometimes even hysterical when it comes to them needing surgery LOL).
First snow of this winter today, a few patches only though.It looks nice in the sunshine, but I decided to stay home and slept half of this afternoon.
Have a great Sunday everyone!
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HI everyone..I have a question for all of you done with rads...did it hurt even more after you were done? As much as I want to do the Happy Dance I cant!
My arm pit feels like a broken blister and the skin is so sensitive that it hurts to put on any lotion ...there are no blisters just the most ugly color of, I have to say purple, under the arm..the rest of my skin is very red an hurts to have any clothes on ..I have put a gauze pad on my neck where they radiated over the clavicle so my collar doesn't rub it.. Dang I thought I got off really easy till now!
The cat (Sonar) is coming home today..but he's is not out of the woods..When they did the surgery the doc said his bladder was so enlarged that there is a chance it might burst...It was very thin in places..He will be on anti bios for a while ...I feel so bad for him.
On a lighter note...my bottom eyelashes have come in very thick and dark..they look great! And Daiva.... my hair has a lot of gray now and I will be seeing a lot of Ms Clairol also! -
sacphoto: glad soar on way home. I hope he gets better for you...You need that buddy right now. Sorry about your skin..wow that must hurt like crazy...Is it any better today? I hope so! My lashes came back but they are still as weak and scrawny as they were before..Glad yours came back dark and thick...I am happy just to have lashes and eyebrows
Daiva: omg broken TE..just what you need now...Hoping it can stay the way it is until January. Are you having exchange then? I would hope you won't need surgery to fix it. Thanks for your kind words. Yes knew my husband since I was 15. We dated for a bit then broke up and got back together when we were 17 years old...Seems like yesterday we dated...This time of year is always hard for anyone who has lost a loved one . When my son called on Thanksgiving he apologized to me for not being with me through the summer while I was finishing my treatments. I told him that he seen me at my worst and that after he left I got better quicker. I cannot wait until he sees me in 10 DAYS>.... He will be amazed how much my color has come back. I am debating whether or not to dye my hair. It has come in very very grey and was wondering if I could put a temporary color in it so I don't look so old.
Majdula: Who is Take 6? are they here in the states. Are you ready for friday? Prayers to you
okay so waiting for onc. to call today. They are moving up my cat scan, bone scan and adding a MRI for the toe...It looks really purple, green,yellow today.. Guess it means it is healing. The fracture was in 3 places...So how the heck can you break one little toe in so many places. It is amazing to me....I am hoping it will all be okay and I can have a peaceful holiday season.
have good day ladies
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Hi everyone -- at home sick with the tail-end of nasty cold. UGH! Sacophotomo: The Arimidex does have some side effects -- one is possible bone loss -- so you possibly need to up calcium intake. Also, joint aches at times is part of the Arimidex walk. Yes, the hot flashes are apparently "my bag" for this walk. They aren't anything like they were initially when I first came off hormone replacement but they still come and go. The last week or so of rads, my skin got REALLY "tired" of being zapped. One of the rads was really bad -- I frankly think the tech person (one not normally doing mine) didn't set it right and I got burned because it hurt all the way down into my breast. But blessedly that was only that ONE time. It will take a little bit for your skin and your body to get the stuff processed out of the area. So hang in there -- hopefully, they have given you some creams to use. POSITIVE outcome for your kitty.
I, too, had noticed -- along with husband and hair dresser -- LOTS more facial hair. Mine is blonde but still -- the monkey-fuzzed look isn't good. So I removed it with a facial remover -- which hurt but we'll see if prayerfully, it doesn't come back in as thick and noticable. My hair on head is slow coming in (about 1/2 inch still but thickening).
njbhwgirl: My heart goes out to you in this journey with the loss of your husband and all the wonderful memories you two shared. I can't imagine the strength you have carrying you through. HUGS as you journey to get well for yourself and your children.
Davia: Whoa, on the puncture! My mind was going tilt, tilt when I read that. But hugs to you when you reacted in a human-to-human way in not getting upset with them. Postive prayers on the repairs and no serious consequences to this happening. Life just remains so "not boring" once you have the word "cancer" laid on your plate it seems.
HUGS to you all!
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All I can say is OUCH! I'm losing skin and It open tender skin under it...I want to cry, it hurts so bad back on the Norco ...I have some burn gauze on it for now but just keeps the air form hitting it..I go into the lab today to get my blood work ..done for my appointment next week with her .I will whine about the pain there they might have some solution... the rads office just said take some pain pills put on some gauze it will take 7-10 day for it to start getting better...That is what I get fro thinking I got off easy!
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PS DAIVA ,,,,,Woooo Hooo your done!
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Denise ~ I pm'd you on FB. Hope it feels better today. I sent my sister a picture of my armpit and she couldn't believe it. She's a physician in Alaska and had rads herself 2 yrs ago. It's burned pretty badly. Parts are almost a dark purple, parts are peeling, and armpit is so red. Denise, get as much air on it as possible. I'd love to catch up with everyone but am wiped out! Re: TE - I am going to see PS on Thursday and will see what he says. I wish I knew why my hip keeps hurting - it's been a few wks - I guess I'll talk to onc. about it next week. I'm SO grateful to be done! Rad. onc. warned me that some people have an emotional letdown after rads... hmm. Still haven't filled my tamox. rx. Ooph will be mid Jan. and they'll switch meds then. I wonder if not taking it for 6 wks would be a big deal. I might just call tomorrow to ask.
Magda~ will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Jersey ~ when are you tests? poor toe!
oh, last thing: I am concocting a drink called a "Tata-tini". I plan on serving it at my big "thank you" party next year after reconstruction. Of course, I'll also have a non-alcoholic version. It will have some pink in it and probably something bubbly:-))) I was dreaming about it as I was making my Green Monster drink yesterday (kale, spinach, celery, cucumber, green apple). yum! Big hugs to all of you!
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Yea my arm pit is red purple and skin is peeling like crazy..I was lurking on the rads site and they were saying that a couple of weeks after the rads were finished they got tired..not horrible but it kicks in..so everyone watch out for that! The biafine the Oncs office gave me is nice stuff..but I'm still on Norco today...
On thanksgiving I wasn't in my right mind because I forgot to get Pomegranate juice for the martinis..
so we improvised...
it was really good..
Someone left a bottle of blueberry vodka after the 4th of July.. so we mixed....lemon juice, blueberry vodka and blueberry pomegranate juice with simple syrup came up with a blueberry pomo martini...it was sooo good! We have a favorite new drink! very sweet like a lemon-tini.. we even sugared the rim of the glass...YUM! -
Hi Ladies, Denise and Daiva, I am so sorry about your burns. I hope you both heal soon. I am still worried about my Jan. trip, but have trip insurance and we can cancel up to four days before. I will go if at all possible.
My leg hair is growing like crazy. My eyelashes are like yours Denise, short and dark and thick. Yeah! I have been trying to clean my house for the Christmas holidays. So far I have just moved things from one room to the other. Ha. I have been enjoying some great Pinot from France. Yeah for the Wine and martini time! Kim, sorry you are sick. Dito on the joint pain. I also have tendonitis in my right arm, which sucks since I am enjoying my piano so much. Jersey I am glad your son will be home soon. My hair is almost white, but I like it that way. Magda, you are in my prayers and thoughts. My rads doc also must have studied with House. I like her but she is very direct and dry. When I told her I might have to have thyroid surgery, she said "that is the least of your worries, you have breast cancer". I said HAD breast cancer, and you are making sure it stays in the past tense. She smiled and said, yeah, there you go. Hugs to everyone Patricia -
Oooh, you guys with the hurting from the rads. HUGS! It makes me hurt to think of the burns -- yikes! Hopefully, you can get some relief and not be hurting like that. I am reading on some sites here about hair regrowth -- how some ladies (3%) who had the taxotere (which I did) won't get their hair back. YIKES! I am so grateful I didn't read that ahead of time (my hot flashes would have burned me alive since they were worse when I worry) and am GRATEFUL mine is coming back-- slowly -- but coming in. It is interesting to hop around on other subject sites here and see other stories too. HUGS and positive vibes to you all! Kim
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Denise and Daiva:: oooh so sorry about the burns...ouch ouch ouch for you both.. I don't even know what to say but wtf....come on already ... I want us all on the mend here....Will say special prayer for you guys tonight and excuse my french but I am tired of this stupid disease already. we have all paid the price...I want us all to be feeling GREAT by now..okay..that is my christmas, hanukah, kwanza, and whatever else you celeberate this month wish!
Daiva: you want to know a secret? My tamoxifen script is sitting in my glove compartment since September. I just can't fill it yet. Actually when my onc. called the other day about my stupid toe thing I told her i wasn't taking it.. I was honest and said I don't want another damn drug in my body not yet and maybe not ever. She said okay and we would talk about it after my MRI's scans etc...so don't feel like you are the only one not wanting to take another drug.
Kim:I burst out loud with laughter reading about your hot flashes...Aren't they just great at 3:00 am in the morning....I so look forward to them (lol).thanks for your kind words to me. I wish I could of gone through this journey with my husband. He was the level headed one. I was the emotional freak but somehow we balanced. He rationalized everything and made his decisions on what was right and not impulse. When I had to choose on a full masectomy I always fell back to "what would Vinny say" in my brain... I so wish he was here. It has been harder since my treatments are over. Somehow I think we all stay strong during the worst but we don't know what to do afterwards. Does anyone else feel like that?
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Hello my friends. It's been a while. Maui with my hubby was wonderful. We did a lot of driving around the island and exploring and some geocaching (it's like a treasure hunt with a gps). There were a couple of days where I spent several hours just spread out on the sofa with a good book and a view of the ocean just past my beautifully pedicured toes. Lots of dark rum and POG (passion, orange, guava juice). And a little bit of home maintenance so we could write off the whole trip.
Back to reality and a few messages for you ladies.
Paxton -- yay. Just yay!
Patricia -- the only thing I would be worried about on your trip is the fatigue. I finished my rads the first week in October and I am still tired. In fact I come home every morning from dropping my girls at the bus stop and I nap for a good 2 hours. So my advice is to build in LOTS of down time for the trip. Your sister may need to go out and do things on her own in the afternoons so you can nap. The trip sounds fabulous, BTW.
NJ -- I can't begin to imagine how hard this whole journey has been without your husband by your side. I am so sorry. And just so you know I have a wonderfully supportive husband by my side and I am still an emotional basket case. I don't know if it is end-of-treatment-blues, reactions to Tamoxifen (which I started about 6 weeks ago) or what.
Just last night I burst into tears when I was reading Denise's post about how painful her burns are. My DH couldn't figure out why I was crying. ENOUGH ALREADY. HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH?
All day today I've been a crying mess. Tears are streaming down my face as I write to you. I have emailed my GP and we are discussing anti-depressants. Anyone ever hear of Remeron? I looked it up and find that it is sometimes used as an appetite stimulant! Oh great. Just what I need.
I turn 48 this Friday and all I want for my birthday is a few days without pain from these f***ing tissue expanders. I will meet with the PS at the end of the month to see if we can schedule an exchange surgery. It can't come too soon.
OMG, Xray. Your puncture story scared the cr** out of me. It makes me think twice about getting 3D tattoo nipples!
Oh, and here's a good one. I was talking to the Oncology Pharmacist today and I asked her if there was anything I could take to help ease the hot flashes. She says, "Well don't take black cohosh, that's not very good for you. And let's see, you can't have any soy..." What? I can't have any soy? No, you are estrogen positive and soy stimulates the estrogen receptors. What? Why wasn't I told this WHEN YOU FOUND OUT I WAS ER+??? Like 9 months ago!
Oh well. I guess it's just another "And then..."
At least I have you ladies to commiserate with.
Jen
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Oh, I just realized I need to post a new picture. My hair is about 2 inches long now. Soft and thick, sort of curly and sort of sticky-outy.
Jen
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Jen ~ my rad onc told me some people have let-down and become pretty down. Also, now that rads are over I find myself making lists in my mind of all I need to do and catch up on and get healthy, exercise, do, do do.... Onc told me to treat this as post surgery and allow body to rest and recover. I'm glad for the heads up about how you're feeling physically and that we need lots of rest. We need to respect our bodies and their needs and kudos to you for doing it! Sounds like a fun trip to Maui! I just learned about the soy as well, that's after drinking soy lattes and miso soup, etc. Please post a pic soon. You look adorable in your profile pic - want to see the curls :-) Hugs to you. I'm hoping some antidepressants will help. I've been on Lexapro and wouldn't dare go off right now. btw: geocaching - too cool!
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Denise ~ I could finally lay on my right side because the burns are better. I really think lots and lots of air helped most. I hope you're better today - sending positive vibes, prayers, love ... Btw, you should name your new drink :-)
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Hi ladies,
Kim Hope your cold is getting better. And don't tell me about the hot flushes, I just can't seem to get a full stretch of a good night's sleep. I wonder what it will be like when I'm on tamox.. :-(. Don't fret about hair, mine is also coming in quite slowly, but steadily. I bought a hair lotion with biotine and panthenol, so I hope to give it some boost with it. And I have a hint of eyebrows and my lashline starts to look darker - probably a stubble of eyebrows, woohoo :-).
Denise So sorry to hear about your burns... I hope you'll get better soon! I saw my GP yesterday for my pre-op and he told me to be careful, since the rad SE's may come in even a few weeks after you're finished... just great. I'll just try and take care of my skin the best I can. Your blueberry pomo martini sounds yummy ;-).
Daiva A "tata-tini"? That sounds really great! Do you care to share your recipe? Do get some rest, these rads are obviously no walk in the park. Thinking of you and praying for you as well!
Patricia Aren't these docs just funny somehow? I was talking to my GP yesterday and he told my my attitude to BC was interesting (after I had told him that I decided to take this experience as a challenge and opportunity to learn something new ... and why not take a different direction in my research later). Well, interesting... I guess we all fight the best we can, don't we?
Jersey I hear you on your wish to feel great during this festive season. And WE WILL believe me and you too :-)! And yes, I feel the same - not really sure how to go about when all is finished. Will I stay strong or not?
Packjen Oooh, your stay at Maui sounds wonderful, I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself! Yes, we have suffered enough, now on to the good life :-). And soy is controversial - the latest I have heard it went from "forbidden to BC patients" over "can't hurt" to "beneficial". I guess you'd have to eat tons of tofu every day to make your cancer worse or to cause it. My onc told me one should just not take artificial phytoestrogens, like those "natural" remedies against hot flushes. I myself continue drinking soy milk, I use it for my morning porridge, and eating tofu from time to time.
OK, so check-in into hospital tomorrow and surgery on Friday. Thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers during this time, I'll keep you posted about how it went.
Best to all of you, you are in my prayers girls!
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