Not Buying Into It

I am going to step over here and stand next to Pompeed on this one (as if she really needs the support!).  I see no point in battering her about a hypothetical legal situation involving children (what was that all about?); and I think it's over the top to scold her because she has chosen not to post her dx in her sig line.

IIRC, Pompeed told us several pages ago that she's a patent attorney.  Just as a "brittle" diabetic (do they use that term any more?) would not go to an orthopedic surgeon for advice about insulin dosage and blood sugar monitoring, Pompeed has explained that she does not practice family law and would not litigate an issue involving a minor child.  To take the analogy down several orders of magnitude, a diesel truck mechanic does not ordinarily work on airplane engines, and vice versa.  (Most) college professors would not do very well in a 3rd-grade classroom.  (For one thing, they would lack the teaching credentials.)

(I am curious about Pompeed's area of expertise of patent law.  I read somewhere that patent attorneys have to have a college degree or college credits in a field relevant to patent protection, like biology or physics or engineering.  But, I'm just wondering about that because I think Pompeed is a very interesting and complex person.  Really, it's none of my business.  I am not asking or expecting her to post a reply here; and I would never chastise her for keeping parts of her life private.)

allalone, I'm going to back off on my statement about contralateral "recurrences" (versus new primary tumors).  I believe my statement is correct; but "believing" in something doesn't make it true.  I cannot find a clear, reliable source that documents the percentage of contralateral tumors that are recurrences versus new primaries; and I can't find a source that explains how a contralateral "recurrence" would be distinguished from a new primary.  I've read articles referring to a 2-year (or even 18-month) cutoff, after which the contralateral tumor is presumed to be a new primary rather than growth of cells that spread from the original tumor.  It is possible, anatomically, for cancer cells to spread to the other side; after all, they do get into the blood so they'll seed and grow in any tissue where the environment is suitable -- bone, liver, lung, brain ... so, why not the other breast? But, to know for sure that the new tumor is a recurrence of the old one rather than a brand-new primary would require some fancy genetic testing that would never be done in the usual clinical setting.  (The ER, PR, HER2 stuff doesn't count for much, 'cause cells can turn those things off and on at will.)

Bec9861, I am in a bad mood this morning, too.  Is it something in the air?  This godforsaken cold weather, perhaps?  My still-undone Christmas shopping?  Maybe if I get out of this bathrobe and have another cup of coffee, things will be brighter.

otter

Pompeed, I apologize -- I didn't mean to leave out all the law-school and bar-exam stuff.  I just assumed everybody knew that part was necessary to become an attorney of any sort.  (I've had several classmates and friends and one college roommate go into law; I even considered it for awhile, when I was feeling even more argumentative than I am now.) 

What I did not know until recently was that, to be a patent attorney (as apposed to the attorneys I typically deal with), someone needs a "technical" degree -- or at least the applicable college-level coursework -- and must pass an extra exam (the patent bar exam), in addition to the "regular" bar exam.  Most of my friends who became attorneys majored in something from the liberal arts.  One had a degree in fashion design, even.  I did not appreciate until a few years ago that some attorneys are very good at rooting out and clearing up details in a real estate transaction; some are very good at family law (and "elder law," which is becoming increasingly relevant to me and my family); and some (fortunately) are very good at litigation. Of course, there are patent attorneys, too.  The woman who was CEO (?) of the university's "Office of Technology Transfer" in my previous life was a patent attorney, it turned out.  If all we ever did was watch "Law & Order," we'd never know about all the specialization.  Awesome.

Totally off-topic, but awesome nontheless.

otter

Pompeed- I felt the same way you do! The best two things a survivor said to me is...."everything you have to do is doable" and "be as aggressive as possible with the cancer". She was right...everything was doable...it is overwhelming to think of it all at once...concentrate on one step at a time. I didn't have many side effects from the chemo...no weight gain or loss, no mouth sores, ...really the only side effect that bothered me was the hair loss. The Tamoxifen I am on now isn't bothering me at all...and I am not gaining weight on it. I read that most people stay the same, the next biggest group losses weight on it, and the smallest group gains weight. My Onc says that any patient that has gained weight on it complains of low energy...that is why I take my pill at night. I was aggressive fighting this cancer. My friend that told me to be had a mother diagnosed at the same time as her with a much less severe case...the mother had a lumpectomy, radiation, tamoxifen...but refused chemo because she didn't want to lose her hair. The cancer ended up in her lungs and brain and she is now dead. Her daughter, whose cancer was much worse than the mothers, did everything the doctors said including chemo and a mastectomy and is now a 6 year survivor. I removed both breasts, even though the cancer was in one only, and I had the chemo the doctor recommended, even though I didn't want to lose my hair. Nothing I had to do was too bad...it was all doable! I am now growing my hair back and I have tissue expanders in...by March I will have a cute new hairdo and 20 year old breasts that defy gravity. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...just don't give up!

Cat123~

I spoke to 3 oncologists before going with the one I was happy with.  I did not want to do a chemo that took away my long hair.  Not only was it a part of my identity I felt that if I lost my hair I would feel "sick" and not be able to participate in things with my children.  Now, that is just how I felt about it, but this last oncologist respected my feelings and said we would find a chemo where I could try to keep my hair.  We ended up doing TCH and I used the Penguin Cold Caps as a trial test in Virginia.  They were cold but I was able to keep my hair and do the treatment that was suggested...I really value the oncologist who listens to their patients.

Pompeed,

I admire you so much for trying to delve into fact-finding rather than just going along, no questions asked.

Disregard the personal attacks. They reveal the limited thinking ability of the personal attackers.

I also did my own research into taking Tamoxifen and AI's.  Against AMA I declined both Tamoxifen and Arimidex.  The SE's far outweighed the benefits to me (after having tried both).

We really need to be our own best advocates in this journey.

Just a thought from my sister in the medical profession. I was talking to her about the percentages... and she said beware, because 3% or 5% etc might seem small, but she said you are taking in all ages, ethnicities.. etc. She said that those small percentages mean alot more than we think. I was discussing with her the whole, is it really worth it if it only adds 5%....I am not bringing this up to sway anyone, but I think some of the percentage stuff is misunderstood and not explained to patients!

Hi

I've been following this thread from the beginning but haven't posted. I understand your thinking, Pompeed, and your mindset.

My son, in his teens, would argue that black is white, and put forward a very structured argument. We always thought that he would make a great attorney but after his law degree he went on to complete his accountancy exams. He's now the proud publisher of quite a few books,

His mindset came from me! Like you I thought about all the options open to me and I didn't want to waste any time on anything that wouldn't benefit me. My father died an awful death after his DX at 83 followed by chemo etc etc. But I was different, I wanted to live for my grandchildren etc. I still do and the treatment (chemo) was worth it. My only point of reference in all of this is my chemo buddy who died. She had secondaries in her liver and lungs and didn't have chemo the first time round and always wondered if she had, would it have made a difference. All I know is that I'm still here, and even though I am still unsure, I wouldn't have changed my treatment.

I'm here enjoying life but my chemobuddy isn't.

Mal

I haven't read all of the comments here but I had to stop in and say to Pompeed, I admire your spirit.

My first oncologist (who I sadly don't have anymore due to a move) was very clear to me when I moved and said, "YOU are in control of your medical treatment. You do the research, call me if you have questions and do what's right for you." It was the single best piece of advice I could have received - and he is right. 

I am a writer/researcher by profession and I have researched BC treatments, diets, homeopathic and "standard treatments of care".All BC is different and each treatment is different. Each one of us responds to treatment differently. There is no guarantee with any of this. None.

Pompeed's life is in her hands, as it should be. 

It's scary to stand by watching even a stranger refuse what we have accepted as "treatment", it puts doubts into our own minds... Are we making the right choices for ourselves? What if Pompeed dies? What if Pompeed goes on to live and full and healthy life?  What would that say about our choices? 

But in the end - we ALL have choices. Pompeed's finding her way, just like all of us have. 

God's blessings to Pompeed and everyone here. 

I agree with you totally Gutsy! 

Actually, I think this thread is BS and should be closed

1Athena1- Thank-you and your right some of my words were harsh and for that i do apologise.

Bec- I could say the same thing to you but,.. never mind.!

I hope pompeed finds the answers to what she is looking for and finds peace.

I wont be reading this thread anymore because i dont want to be in a pissy mood every time i come here.