Not Buying Into It

marie5890

I think many have a varying degree of raw emotions depending on so many facts, including where they are in this journey, what their experiences have been up to now, their own fears, hopes etc.

I do believe that most of us how ever would prefer not to be fighting each other, but saving strength and focus fighting the battles they ahead.

But this thread has made me think that perhaps I am wrong in that view.  

marie5890

HEIDIToo---Those are two wonderful HONEYS!!

1Athena1

My heart is melting.....

Lady_Madonna

Why is this thread still here??  We have sisters dying.  Call a rant a rant and move along.  Like 'em or hate 'em those "white coats" are the best chance we have or finding a cure for this damn disease that keeps taking our sisters. 

Pompeed, go rent "Living Proof" and read about Dr. Dennis Slamon.  This man, whom I recently had the honor or meeting personally, has dedicated his life to breast cancer research.  He fought against all odds to develop Herceptin and it has unequivocally saved, one could even argue *cured*,  many women. He is a truly decent and humble gentleman. 

How about a little damn gratitude for those doctors who are doing something.  If you want to sit back and wait to see if your cancer comes back, fine.  When/if it does, you're the only one who has to ask yourself "What if..."  If you want the profile names of several women who had stage 0 DCIS and are now stage IV I'd be happy to PM to you.  They happily share their story for those who think they don't need treatment.  (Not that you have stage 0 DCIS...just an example of how insidious bc really is.)

I'm really pissed off and sick of seeing this damn thread.  Do you know how many sisters we have lost and are losing????   

misfit

This thread is an eyesore? Interesting. Kind of like a homeless person sleeping on the sidewalk?

lago

Off topic to break up the tension:

HeidiToo are you from the Boston area? I am but have been living in Chicago for quite some time. I don't know who to route for this weekend. Guess I can't lose. Patriots have the much better logo… actually one of my favorites in the NFL.

Back to on topic:

If you don't like what people are posting why come back to the thread? There are so many other threads that might be more suited to you and not get you so upset.

Bren-2007

I came to this site because I was afraid and alone.  My feelings were all mixed up with fear and anxiety.  Back then, the newbies comforted each other, along with old timers. It's true what Lowrider said, my first concern was comforting my family .. and I didn't want to scare them with my fear and anxiety.

My way of handling nasty PM's is that I tell the person if they don't stop (after the first one), all the others will be posted.  It takes care of the problem.  I don't care if they are private messages, if a msg is abusive and hateful .. air it out .. then it will stop.

lago

BinVA I just block folks that send me nasty PMs. Only had to do that once.

Anonymous

lago- I'm from NY originally but lived in New England for years. I love NE, and though I'm not there now, we visit often. Home is where the heart is! (Go Pats!)

PS- I love "off topic"--- it's refreshing, isn't it? And, when I first came to bc.org I was told they/we didn't worry about thread hijacking. I post on another thread almost exclusively and we talk about *everything*---  it's a place to share experiences, concerns and LIFE.

Bren-2007

Lago .. I've never used the "block" function.  I'll have to check it out.

Those puppies are so cute .. I just want to hug them and get snuggled up!

1Athena1

I have to admit that I went to college in the Boston area for four years and never knew the name of any team or what sports they played. I've never been much into American team sports. I think I did hear about the Red Sox vs. the Yankees - I mean you'd have to be DEAD in Boston to not at least hear that, but watch a game, know a player, or even know how the game is played?

Sorry.

lago

HeidiToo Oh NY! guess we better not talk baseball ;-)

Bren-2007

OMG  ... not the PATS!  Go Jets.

Anonymous

lago- I only follow Tommy Boy.... shameless, huh?

Actually, I never followed any sports (except Equestrian stuff) until my boys got into it. My older son was a Pats fan (due to our love of NE and frequent visits) in a state where that wasn't the team of choice. It's been fun to watch their success through the years... me, I just keep my eye on the QB!

Anonymous

BinVa---uh... you DID hear that the Jets buried last Monday's game ball, didn't you?

Lady_Madonna

No one called this an eyesore- stepping over a homeless person- how melodramatic.  I had no idea someone suggested this thread be removed.  I merely meant to question why it still has so much attention.  Sorry, let me correct myself.  This is my own "rant" because, as I said, I'm just so heartbroken that we have sisters dying and this is at the top of the charts.  Really... I'm wondering if this hasn't played out.  What happened to comfort?  Yes- I see that Pompeed softened and I think that's wonderful. 

I have a cousin in hospice, a friend in terrible pain (both originally stage II, now stage IV two and one year later, respectively) we lost ChocolateLover, Tonya (nine_rugrats) isn't doing so great, and Elizabeth Edwards, a gracious and very public figure for breast cancer, has just passed away.  Shit. 

Why wouldn't we want to support finding a cure???  What is so terrible about having hope?  Should we really just go jump off a bridge right now and save our families all the trouble of enduring years of medical bills and slowly declining health?  

If I start a new thread with pages and pages of depression will you all jump on the bandwagon and keep it alive forever as a testament to the power of despondency?  

Yeah, I know... go somewhere else.   

marie5890

BinVa---uh... you DID hear that the Jets buried last Monday's game ball, didn't you? 

This NEW ENGLAND girl most certainly DID. (CT born, and raised.)    

1Athena1

I didn't grow up in this country and I an half "foreign" so my sports to watch are: the summer and winter olympics, the World Cup and I used to watch tennis.

misfit

I love the winter olympics, watched every single day of them this year (they turned out to be a very effective distraction). And hockey, of course.

1Athena1

I love the figure skating, the donwhill and the Super-G. I also love Tom Costas, even though I am sure he has had plastic surgery. How can he look that classically handsome for that many olympics???

Bren-2007

You Pats fans are making me chuckle ... poor Jets. 

hugs all round,

Bren

Pompeed

Poor Sharks according to the Jets. Poor Jets according to the Sharks.

It's all a matter of one's perspective. 

TammyLou

I have followed along the best I can...cuz I'm an intellectual elf and I don't watch much sports on TV...or anywhere else. 

The total summary of the majority of advice, instruction, etc. from my bevy of haematology oncologists and radiation oncologists and blah, blah, blah:

"We don't know."

^ that is the state of the art / the limits of scientific endeavor and all of the rest of the big words in the dictionary.

"We don't know."

...and I believe them.

They don't.

tl
 

Lowrider54

We just lost Chocolate Lover (Michelle) and I am pissed off to the max about this frickin disease - a kind, giving person - vent...I could explode into a rant...I will go home and take it out on the snow that is likely piled in my driveway...

Heidi - I live alone and my family is far away.  I have dear friends that I can talk candidly to but it is so hard to speak over the phone to my family without them seeing my face when I tell them things - I prefer to talk openly but hold a few things back as it would give them an erroneous picture of a shuffling old woman barely able to take care of herself until I get my meds on board - then I move. 

These boards have become my daily interaction along with my friends and neighbors.  It isn't that sad...it fills a void and provides some much needed compassion, debate, understanding and sharing and some real good laughs too!

Anonymous

Lowrider- I know what it's like not to have family in the area. I only have my "immediate" family: sons & husband. Yes, it is hard to communicate via phone.

Sharks? Are we still talking football-- or West Side Story? I must have missed something...

Lowrider54

I think football but we can sure go to West Side Story...meet you in the alley...

worldwatcher

Tammy Lou

You said: "that is the state of the art / the limits of scientific endeavor and all of the rest of the big words in the dictionary.

"We don't know."

I would add..."standard of care"....my least appreciated comment.  Should it read "standard of care lest we hear from your attorney"?

Anonymous

Lowrider -lol!

AMP47

Otter, nothing about my diagnosis comforts me from the original diagnosis to the selection of treatment.  Furthermore, suggesting a surgeon return to algebra class because your assume he is flipping coins to determine my future or you disagree with a probability for recurrence he has shared with me is ridiculous.  

My surgeon doesn't need me to defend his reputation.  But, I will say this, he has a very respectable position in the medical community at Loma Linda Cancer University.  His advice to me to "get on with my life" is good advice.

Can you say a recurrence will never happen? Can you say with certainty a recurrence will happen? No, you can not.  But, what you can assume from my surgeons statement is the probability of a recurrence is either 0 or 100 percent: theory of probability.

The reason women feel their diagnosis, treatment plan and their future resembles a "crap shoot" is because no one can tell them: their doctors, research scientist, their nurses, that their disease will react as expected resulting in a cure.  Each one of us has different chemistry producing a infinite number of results. The heterogeneity of breast cancer is obvious on its face.  

Breast cancer is "risky and a uncertain venture" by definition in other words a "crap shoot".  To look at it any other way would be fooling yourself.  To ignore the probability that your cancer is either going to recur or it is not going to recur is a futile exercise in naivety.  

Scientist have not figured out why two women , with similar diagnosis and treatment plans, one will have a recurrence the other woman will not experience a recurrence?  

Currently, there is no way to test for metastasis.  Your chances of a recurrence are either 0 or 100: hard to have have an 85 % recurrence.  If the disease comes back it is 100 percent .  On the other hand, if it does not return, then it is 0 %.  

Most of the large studies  I have read have 95% (CI) sampling errors are low.  Unless, the scientist is a "mad scientist" with disregard to procedure, most large studies are considered reliable with very low sampling errors.

Your examples are binary events: behaviors sequenced to generate a desired and predictable behavior.  

Meteorite strikes are 1 in 700,000 without making a sand which

Drinking a coke does not cause aids

Typing a work documents results in a document not pregnancy  

As far as eating a healthy diet, losing some extra pounds, cutting back on alcohol and continuing to due screening that keep you healthy, if a person makes an effort to change their life-well they will become "rosy cheeked" thinner, tea totalers who keep up with their annual screenings and make great neighbors.  

People are either going to change their behavior or they are not.  Human beings are built to see patterns in sensory and conceptual information.  A crowning achievement of our species is to start, predict, analysis and determine what is next.  Which also includes behavior that elicits no action.  Then we are back to 0 or 100 probability or a "crap shoot" as you suggest.  

Unfortunately, breast cancer doesn't allow predictable and carefree behaviors.  Whether I choose to mitigate my damages by "throwing everything but the kitchen sink at  the problem" or choose to live my life without chemicals, my cancer is either going to recur or it will become a distance memory.  

Since the start of my journey, there has not been one doctor, research scientist or article that can reassure me that the probabilities my surgeon gave for recurrence are incorrect.  

davidgregorys

Hai