Is night time always the worse?

Hi Melissa, When I found out in June that I had BC I felt the way you do I think at night it is quiet and still and your mind cannot stop and during the day you are busy and life has to go on regardless of what is happening, It is so hard it is surreal it is all consuming...but you will get through it. For me it happened so fast I found out the beginning of June and with in 2 weeks I had a double mastectomy and than on to chemotherapy my life has been crazy. I know not every one will agree with me but I asked for Xanax and I find that if I take just a half of a pill it settles my mind enough to rest. Try to stay calm and know you will be fine. I will say prayers for you and I am here if you need a friend.

Tracie

I needed ambien, also. It turned off the "spinning thoughts" in my mind and gave me some peace at night.  I've also needed klonipin to keep my anxiety in check.  Some people need these for the longer term, others for the shorter term.  Really, it does not matter.  What matters is that we are able to think and to deal with our life as it comes.  At the moment, yours is turned upside down and inside out.  I totally get it.  My dx was exactly one year before yours.  Thanksgiving was a blur, Christmas shopping was a blur.  All I could do was read and research, since the learning curve was steep and there were many decisions to make.  It's been quite the year, but we all managed it around here - and I still use these meds to keep myself in check.  And I'm grateful for them.

Melissa, this is the other thing you need to make sure you check on; make sure that your pathology report was read correctly. Mine first came back TN & I questioned it because I did not fit 'classic' TN profile. They had sent a tumor section down to Mayo to test for HER2 (this was long enough ago where that was still a new test), and so I requested that they do a second opinion of the pathology report down there..... and it came back estrogen positive!!!! My oncologist, who was new, was even more shocked then I, and consequently the clinic changed their whole procedure for tumor reviews; now each tumor is read by two pathologists, and if it comes back TN they automatically send it to Mayo for confirmation. You really have to be your own advocate!!

Melissa, the nights are often the worst.  I remember that stage, when it wasn't unusual to log on to these boards at 2 a.m. and find other women here, looking for someone to talk to.  We said it was the time when the "Night Demons" came.

And, yes, what you're feeling is "normal" -- as normal as anyone could expect, after hearing you have breast cancer -- but it can be treated if necessary.  I was only prescribed one sleep aid during cancer treatment, and that was the Ativan my onco prescribed to combat the insomnia caused by dexamethasone during chemo.  I think I took two of them.  Mostly I tried to distract myself as much as possible.

I just went with the flow -- I slept when I was tired, and stayed up and watched late-night TV when I wasn't.  Fortunately, I had retired from my job the year before my dx and we don't have kids at home anymore; so the only person I was annoying with my weird hours was dh, who was wonderful about it.  I kept extra bedding in the living room near my recliner, and that's where I slept for quite a few nights.

ruthbru has given you some great advice.  She is correct:  the recurrence risk and overall outcomes are exactly the same for lumpectomy+radiation as for mastectomy.  Unlike ruthbru, I chose a mastectomy, but not because of concern about leaving tumor tissue behind after a lumpectomy.  Actually, the radiation they give after a lumpectomy does a very nice job of killing any tumor cells that might remain in that breast.  My reasoning was personal -- it had to do with the trouble I'd had monitoring for lumps in that breast.  It was dense and fibrous, and my tumor had never been visible in a mammogram; so I figured I would have problems finding new lumps in amongst all the scar tissue.

My mastectomy (a "modified radical mastectomy" with sentinel node biopsy) lasted 90 minutes.  I went home at lunchtime the next day, with 2 JP drains.  I did have some mobility restrictions -- I wasn't supposed to drive until the drains were out; I wasn't supposed to reach higher than my shoulder on that side. I was tired for 2 or 3 days; and there was some pain on that side of my chest, but just for a few days.  I think I took 2 of the Percocet tablets my surgeon prescribed.  After that, Advil took care of it.

I did not have to worry about returning to work, but I'm pretty sure I could have gone back after that first week.  My one remaining drain, which was pulled after 10 days, would have been a manageable nuisance at my job.  I did not have reconstruction, because I wanted to recover quickly with as few complications as possible.

Hugs to you, Melissa.  Find a home here on these boards, where you will be welcome no matter what you decide to do.

otter

Badger is right, the humor and games boards are a good distraction (and actually so fun that later on (when you actually CAN sleep), you stay up and play when you SHOULD be sleeping (am I right, Badger?)! BCO home page is a good place for advice. I'd print off some of their stuff and bring it to the doctor with me. As well as a notebook with all my questions. It's good to write everything down ahead of time and also write down (or have someone else) write down all their answers, comments etc.(so you can do more research). The boards are great, my only suggestion is to be careful not to get sucked into the......"I an having such an awful time with ________ (fill in the blank)" types of threads, as that can get very depressing and scary. Once I decided on what course of treatment was my best chance to beat this, then I didn't read anything more about 'the horrible potential SEs', because I knew what I needed to do and it didn't do me any good mentally to dwell on it.

Hang in there! Ruth

Hi Melissa. When I did my mammo in April 2010 and on a late Friday afternoon, I was terrified the whole weekend.  I knew from the radiologist that they knew it was something and that I needed a biopsy. I already knew in my heart what it was.  Yes the nights are worse, I rarely slept after that. Even after the mastectomy and chemotherapy and herceptin(of which I am still getting) the nights seem the worst

Maybe you can get something prescribed to help you sleep

good luck to you, prayers and thoughts with you

Do like badger said, go to the very top of this page & click on breastcancer.org Home. That will bring you to all the information you need to know, and it is fact and researched based, whereas we all on the boards are offering opinions and thoughts based on our own personal experiences....which is good, and usually, but not always helpful, and in some cases not necessarily accurate. (I worry about ladies who do or refuse various treatments based on what they read here.)

My advice about nutrition (which is not necessarily good advice but.....) is don't worry about it at this point. Right now, eat whatever you want. Later on, there are alot of good things you can do nutritionally, but right now you have enough on you plate (haha) and don't need to add anything else that will be something to worry about. I would say that if you have an exercise routine, stick to it. And if you don't, if you can get out and walk or do something physical, exercise helps to deal with the stress, as well as being good for you physically.