July 2010 Rads

Hi: 

Sorry I have not written, mom is really sick again (kidneys are going) so I've been up at the nursing home a lot...:(

Yes I have been having pain chest etc, very strange. It comes and goes plus this burning feeling. 

Arm pain is AWFUL I was in tears today over it.  I had my Bone Scan done today and x-ray of the elbow (that is what hurts the most) and then its like my hand goes to sleep all started two weeks before Rad ended.  

I have my PILLS from hell to start, I keep looking at them, I guess I will start on Monday, another reason Jim has been out of town and I hate to start any new pill without him around, I'm allergic to so much stuff...So I will start that crap on Monday...

As you can tell I'm just not happy lately, crying a lot for some reason and really down and out....

But I hope everyone has been feeling better since Rad's is over and done with, at least we can put that behind us...

Ok, I'm going to eat and hit the couch with a nice cup of HOT tea...

Have a wonderful night and I've missed you all so much

Julie

I do see the lymphedema specialist on Monday but I really don't think its that as no more swelling, just PAIN and lots of it...It has me so scared that the cancer has gone into my bones, another thing to worry about in life....

Hey you guys,

Julie - I'm so sorry to hear about the hard time you're having. I went through what seems like a very similar situation with mom before I lost her 5 years ago. It was such a difficult time in my life so when I think about you going through cancer and supporting your mom it seems almost inhumane for anyone to have to deal with all of that. I wish I could fast forward to after your results so the wait was over - hang in there and try to take care of yourself. I know you're really worried about getting started on your pills but if I had to say life has changed much because of tamoxifen it would really be only an increase in hot flashes. Unlike you Karen I do worry that it is already growing back under the area where the margins weren't really clear because there was no other breast tissue to take - so although I am also dreading my breast MRI in December and scared I will have to do this again I feel like that is where I am going to run into trouble. It's awful  ins't it - that all of us have been through so much and now we feel a little like sitting ducks waiting for it's return. I guess in a way my busy ness helps me keep my mind off these thoughts. I don't have any pain like you're describing Kim but I have to say my itchiness is horrible - last night I could hardly sleep for the itching. Hope you all had a nice day. Talk to you soon.

Sonia 

Kim, I'm in the October rads group but was reading here to get information about how it was for those who are already finished.  Anyhow, I just wanted to say hey from "about 30 miles from Charlotte" too!  I'm in Monroe and am having all tx here at home.  Our hospital is affiliated with Carolinas Medical, so it's easier than driving into Charlotte every day--maybe it's 30 miles but it sure isn't a 30 minute trip!

Kathy

EEK - cancermath told me I was going to die by the time I turn 50. . .which means I have <20 years to go.  I think it is better that I forget that site exists. 

Sonia - it is so good to hear that the fogginess is attributed to many different things.  I did have chemo but I finished in March so I was starting to wonder if it ever went back to "normal"! 

Ginny congratulations on making it "over the hump" on your rads appointments! 

Kim - I had a Mast too and I still haven't been able to sleep on my side or belly.  It definitely took me this whole time for my breast to start to feel better but there are times where it still feels really tight.  I actually think that the area around my ribcage is still pretty puffy on that side. . .like my bra bulges under that arm and around that part of my back.  Did you have recon?  I am scheduled to get  my TE "expanded" on Friday and I can't imagine that is going to feel great.  I had 2 fills before rads but there doesn't feel as if there is as much elasticity now. 

Julie - I am sorry to hear your mom isn't doing well.  I am keeping fingers crossed for you that all your tests are benign.  Also hope you are staying cozy here in IL!  I keep dreading the cold weather but then telling myself at least it is sunny!

Sounds like many of us are scheduled for mammos in November.  We'll have to compare notes as the dates get closer.

I have to say...it's so nice to be able to drop in a few times and read everyone's posts.  Sorry, I haven't had time to post but trying to get on with my life.  Although, I hate doctors, I decided it was time to get myself checked out.  So i've been making more doctor appts (dermatologist, vision) and also for a new oncologist.  My first one was OK but I hated his office.  standing room...long wait to see doc and although the recept was not rude to me, she was rude to others.  I didn't feel comfortable.  So after my followup with my BS, he suggested for me to get another one....just in case.... that really puts me at ease....  Anyways, I have my mammo scheduled for Dec, but its for the rads breast not the other one.  The one w/bc will be done at my annual.  Strange, but my doc said that he wanted to get a baseline of my rad breast since he had one before the surgery and nothing after. 

Julie - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  I just cry when I read about your post.  I know exactly what you're going through and I know how tough it is just to see your mom there and suffering.  I know that there were times I wish I could do something to ease the pain, but the only thing I could do was be there for her, hold her hand and call the nurses when she needed them.  -- She couldn't talk since she needed the oxygen pumping into her lungs.  

Kim - I get the pain sometimes, but not too often.  I had a lump, but when I lay on my side, I feel like my incision is stretching, and sometimes get the sharp pains.  According to my BS, he told me that it's going to take my breast to heal from the rads/surgery and it may take about 2-5 years. 

Sonia - Itching is what I get too.  It doesnt' happen all the time, but mine is right by my collar bone, where I had the most peeling. 

Chicago1018 - Yikes on the cancermath.  I saw someone else also get something that wouldn't put me high spirits either.  I decided that I dont' think I really want to see that site, so I'm going to pass on the cancermath. 

Karen - hope all goes well with your mammogram in Nov.  I know, thoughts keep coming up on is there something in my good breast. 

Well I decided to take the pill from hell and have been on it for 1 week now.  I don't notice a difference, yet, but according to my kids and hubby they tell me they notice a difference.    I think i'm starting to have hot flashes, but not sure if it's my normal hot flashes.  Oh well, I've come to terms with this pill and will keep praying that it works and that i don't have too many se's.  Take care everyone,

Patty

Julie,

I'm so sorry about your mom. Sending prayers for you and her both. Hugs,

Karen

Patty - I've been aware of asking my husband if he has noticed changes too when I started the "T".  I have had some mood swings but they've been more evident to me than they have to him  (lucky guy).

Kim - Don't feel weird about waiting 1 year for a Mammo. . .I actually was diagnosed in November of last year which is why I am having one next month.  So this is actually my "annual".    My expansion was rough today!  I am sitting at my desk wincing because I am so tight.  My PS is actually telling me now that I could schedule the swap surgery before the end of the year. . .or if I feel like the breast is sitting too high (it feels like it is under my collar bone right now) I could do a swap and a lat flap at the same time to come up with the additional tissue.  The first surgery is outpatient and the other is a 2 day hospital stay and drains again.  I definitely need to think about this one. . .on one hand a single surgery would be nice but I almost want to go the implant route and see how it goes before committing to the lat flap. 

Julie,

I'm so sorry about your mom - you've been through so much this year. My thoughts are with you.

Karen

Julie - My sincerest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your mom.  I will keep you all in my prayers.  xxoo Pat

Julie, thanks so much for checking in, I've been worried about it.  It's just too  much all at once.  I lost my mom at 14, so I can't even imagine what you're going through, but I pray for you every day.  Glad you're going to take some time off.

Thanks for the encouragement about the hysterectomy, not sure I'm ready for it.  But that's not important now.

Please take good care of yourself.  You're right, this is a BC board, but we've all been through a lot together on this thread for months now and support is here for all - no matter the need.

Much love and hugs to all.

Tracye-If you have to have a hyst, let me know I have a great support group that got me though so much.  For me it was the best thing I did I was 43 and the time was right....But I know its a tuff thing to have to decide after BC...BIG HUG

Lost your mom at 14, WOW that is hard at such a young age.  I so feel for you...

 Karen--Thank you, I'm doing ok been a ruff couple of days, I know this will take time, as I'm still trying hard to process my sisters death.

Will I start my pill tomrorow, I really don't want to but know I have to. Wish me luck with that one...

Ok off to bed I go. Hugs to all

J

Hi everyone,

Just typing through a hot flash - having so many of them I am taking it as a sign that there is no more estrogen in my body. I have been doing a lot of research and reading and found a link to a research summary about nutrition that really spells in out. If any one is interested I've included the link  http://cancer.ucsf.edu/_docs/crc/nutrition_breast.pdf I also found this article on dairy and why we shouldn't eat/drink it - if you have no interest in giving up the cream in your coffee - DON"T READ THIS - http://www.rense.com/general26/milk.htm

Tracye - I wish that I could say something profound that would help you with the situation you're in. I know when there was some talk that I may not be able to take tamoxifen and that I may have to "loose the ovaries" I felt pretty attached suddenly to them.  Hang in there.

Julie - I hope you are surrounded by all the love and support you need during what is such a sad time. I miss my mom everyday - I think actually more everyday because each day without her that goes by just makes me miss her more. It's so hard at times when one of the most important people in your life passes and leaves a big hole where she once was - I will always miss my mom as I am sure you will too. 

Welcome back Donna. So glad your trip was cancer free - that makes me look forward to my trip in November. It is nice to feel regular again - though those weird pains and itches could stop any time. Try not to worry too much about your skin tag/mole. My DH has them removed regularly being a freckled guy and it always surprises me how something so small can take 3 stitches to sew up.  I am certain it will be fine - he has so many and they always come back benign. Sending you good mole vibes.

How have you been feeling Kim - I know you said you were feeling pretty blue - are things staying the same or are you starting to rebound? 

Have a good week everyone - there is so much going on for all of you. Sometimes I talk about you to my friends, family, colleagues and they look at me like I'm loosing my mind. It goes something like this - "one of the women I talk to online who has been through breast cancer like me says.........." and they look at me like WHO?? are you talking too?

You've become friends - seems strange not to know what you all look like but it really doesn't matter - maybe one day we will have to meet somewhere.  

Sonia