How Do You Handle the Statistics?

i know I don't have the same stage or diagnosis as you do but I did relate to the three kids.My kids are 9 6 and 2.  I see that you were diagnosed only a month ago.  I was diagnosed in january 2010 and telling my children was one of the hardest things that I had to do.  But it does get a little easier, once you get over the shock of everything.    I am so sorry that you have to go through this.  I joined a support group in my community that meets once a month.  I found this helpful because there are some things that you can not talk with you family and friends about because it is hard for them to understand what you are going through.  You have found a wonderful place to come and talk with people who have your same fears and concerns.  Hang in there it will get better.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

You are doing the right thing by choosing neo-adjuvant therapy.  This way it will be clear how well the chemo treated the cancer.  Chemo kicked my TNBC's butt!!!!  I had 2 positive nodes, but since the chemo completely destoryed the cancer and I had no evidence of disease at surgery, I have over a 95% chance of never having the cancer recurr!!  This can be you too!!! 

 I think of statistics this way (I'm an engineer and have plenty of experience massaging numbers) statistics are just a tool to tell the medical community if they are moving in a positive direction as far as cure rate.  The numbers are based on a huge number of OLD cases.  Meaning that those numbers were based on people treated with out of date drugs, protocols, etc.  You are not a statistic.  These numbers are not meant to be used on individuals.  Look at it this way, I have no family history of disease, I'm young(36) so my odds of getting breast cancer were very slim- yet I still got it- I won the lottery of breast cancer-I beat those odds damn it and ended up with bc anyway.  So, why can't the flip side happen.  Why can't I win that lottery again and be cured.  The answer is I can and I was.  You can be a survivor just like me.  Why the hell not?  There's no reason to worry about the stinking numbers.  I'm telling you THEY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU!! NOTHING!! They are used to track trends, that is all!!!  And I repeat the data is based on out of date practices, and they include everyone.  They include people who weren't proactive about their care, they include people who live in rural and poor areas and don't neccessarily have access to the best medical care.  THey include old people, people with pre-existing conditions like diabetes, heart disease, pulmonary disease.  Those people ARE  NOT YOU.

I know exactly the horror that you feel when you see these numbers.  I felt it myself.  I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't face my children... But I'm OK now and the same thing can happen for you!!!!

Praying for peace in your heart.

Brandy

Here's how I handle statistics: I ignore them.

There are only 2 statistics, as I see it. If you recur, the chance is 100%. If you do not, the chance is 0%. No one recurs 20%, 40%, or 70%. It's all or nothing.

With that said, I simply focused (and continue to focus) on doing everything possible to be 0% every day. I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink, I try to keep stress in check, I try to get enough sleep, I keep my weight normal.

I am the kind of person who would obsess over numbers if I knew them. I have never asked my onc for my "chances." Once, he slipped and mentioned that I have a whatever chance of a new primary bc in my lifetime. It bugged me and I told him again not to mention numbers to me.

There's just no good in them, unless you are able to see the Pollyanna side of them.

My advice: don't look up numbers, don't ask for them. Just do your treatments and control the things in your life that you can, to make sure you stay in the 0% bracket.

I am also IIb.  The moment I knew that I wasn't in immediate danger, I decided to assume I would be just fine.

Remember that just completing treatment increases your odds over the overall stats as a lot of women aren't able to physically endure a complete course.  To me, it was really noticeable when I looked at the stats of women in similar studies to the one I am in vs the general population of breast cancer patients.

(And for ER+ women, there is a huge drop out rate from hormonal therapy due to side effects so they never get the benefits of that therapy.)

If you are very strong and healthy, you might want to ask about the SWOG-0221 study where you would get an advanced third generation treatment.  It's brutal, but it does have a proven survival benefit. (Or at least the studies it was based on do.)

Anyway, good luck with everything.  I think the most encouraging thing to read is the ASCO news from MD Anderson.  Our group of high risk women has experienced amazing advances in treatment outcomes over the past 70 years with the odds of living flip-flopping from being almost certainly doomed, to a very high probability of being just fine.  I expect this to continue.

One more thing: stats are based on the best treatment options available 10-15 years ago.  I am assuming that outcomes are much better now.

These are the things I tell myself.

Three final things to load the deck in your favor:

1. Exercise....at least three hours of walking per week
2. Weight management.....keep a sensible BMI
3. Aspirin....another demonstrated benefit (though not sure of ER-)

Each of these independently has been shown to be associated by a 50% reduced risk of recurrence.

Suze35:

I too was 41 at diagnosis, triple negative, stage IIb.  I had three tumors that when aggregated totaled 6cm.  I too looked at the stats and spiraled downward ... then I was able to put in the forefront of my mind that it didn't matter ... worrying would do no good and if I were to recur, I'd worry about it then.  No use going through it (the "what ifs" of a recurrence) mentally for "practice."  I focused on treatment, living in the moment and enjoying life.  It was kind of freeing when I could keep my mind there.  I exercised, watched what I ate, got plenty of sleep and prayed.  No idea if it helped keep the cancer at bay, but it kept my mind-games turned off.

This December it will be 5 years since diagnosis ... and I remain no evidence of disease.  I am blessed. 

I don't come on the boards much anymore, because I'm fortunate that this disease is behind me now and quite frankly, it isn't on my mind a lot.  And, unfortunately, I think that's kind of normal so you don't see as many long-term survivors telling their stories here.  I'm going to try to change that (for me personally) as I remember how important it was for me to hear stories of successful treatments and life on the other side of treatment for the majority of women who are diagnosed. 

 God bless you.  Take it one step at a time. 

I ignore the statistics and they are misleading and designed to scare the crap of you (just my opinion).  It takes time to collect them, do the analysis and finally put them out so they are already a couple years old when they are released in print.  I find that speaking with real women, like on these boards and relying on my treatment team is much more mentally healthy than any statistic. 

Here I am a year after my mets dx - doing well and with no expiration date on my foot.  If I paid attention to the statistics, I would have had my funeral planned already. 

Oh, and it was 10 1/2 years for me before a recurrance from an inbetween stage II and III with node involvement doing 8 months of chemo, no rads and 2 1/2 years of Tamoxifin if that is of any help as a live person still surviving.

Hugs and best wishes...LowRider