March 2010 Chemo Start

Geez Ana, so sorry to hear that, waiting (and worrying) is the pits.  Sending good vibes!!

LillyC - glad you got in so quick to see surgeon, hope that lump turns out to be nothing!

Anyone else growing a beard? <sigh> it's downy and colorless but a beard nonetheless.

I'm so hesitant to shave for fear of stubble, or growing back thicker / darker.  {{hugs}}

NOooooooo!!! Praying for you Ana!  Hopefully they are just being overly cautious!!?? Hang in there and let us know how things go!

(((Hugs)))

Charley

Oh Lily C - Didn't see your post before my last post.  Hopefully it all turns out to be nothing!  Yes, why do things happen just days AFTER you see the dr? AARGH!  I had BMX so I have nothing to add on this.

(((more hugs)))

Charley

Here's an update - went to the breast surgeon today about the lump and the nipple discharge.  He said it was a seroma, a fluid filled cavity, and aspirated it.  What I was seeing was not actually nipple discharge, but the seroma fluid finding a way out. He sent the fluid to the lab for testing, but said he was only doing that to reassure me as he normally doesn't send seroma fluid for testing.  I should expect that the cavity will fill again and that he will continue to drain it until it stops. Seromas are evidently somewhat commmn, but he was surprised to see one so far out from surgery.  I explained that I have had it for some time, but the radiologist and oncologist just kept saying not to worry about it.  I'm glad that I saw him!

Lilly - so glad to hear it was something "simple" so to speak.  Lisa - No I ride a Honda -Badger, I'm not sure if I would shave it - for fear it would come back even thicker.

Fall is here - I love the fall - our peak leaf season has come and gone - oh well - hoping for a nice Indian Summer.

Hugs and prayers to all - Stacey

My wonderful Marchers....thank you for all your prayers, thoughts and encouragement. I finally heard from my Onc today. The first words out of his mouth is that he believes it's scar tissue. Nothing showed up on the mammogram, but the anomaly did show up on the ultrasound. It didn't show any kind of blood flow (food source) and is not palpable. He did suggest to have another ultrasound in 6 weeks to make sure it's not changing. Obviously if there are changes I will need a biopsy and surgery. At this point he is saying he is 98% sure it's scar tissue! Needless to say I will be holding my breath and praying that there are no changes. I truly felt in my soul that this was just scar tissue. I'm satisfied with his assessment and pray for continued health.

LillyC- I'm thrilled to hear it was nothing to be concerned about

Heather- I couldn't agree more. Especially since I had this scare, I see in myself that emotionally and mentally I am not healed and need more time.

Thank you ladies. You are always here with encouraging words every time I need them. Now I need a nap, all this stress over the last 5 days has left me exhausted.

Sending hugs, Ana

Ana: I'm so happy the news is positive! I've been worried. It is like each of us are connected and if one of us has a concern, then we all do! We can all breathe easier for now.

Heather: I'm also doing rads right now. Just had my 11th one. I'm scheduled for 25. This is MUCH easier than chemo. The ladies here gave me confidence when I was told I needed radiation. They taught me what to expect and how to take care of my skin. If you have any questions before you start (or during) rads, just ask us. I'm sure someone will respond.

As to trying to "get back to normal", it has been hard for me. Although I am still doing rads, I am much better and everyone "forgets" that I am still trying to heal both physically and mentally. It has been 5 weeks since my last chemo but my bones (or muscles?) are very weak and it is hard for me to walk upstairs or bend over without wincing. I see my dr. at the end of this month and will ask him about that but in the meantime, I believe people get annoyed with me. I get the feeling that I am expected to act the way I did before treatment. I really do try. Saturday I slipped in the kitchen and fell. I didn't get hurt at all~in fact, I knew I was going to fall so I went down very slowly. The problem was that I couldn't get back up again! No one was home but me and I laid there, on the floor, for about 15 minutes before I could roll over and crawl to a chair to help pull myself up. It was ridiculous! I didn't tell my family until Monday and when I did, I told it as a funny story. I don't want them to worry about me when I'm home alone. But now, I keep my cell in my pocket all the time just in case.

Hey all - just back from a conference in Cleveland Ohio.  Not sure it was the most productive use of my time but it's good to get away from the office once in a while.  Got in a visit to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  Highlights for me were seeing Jerry Garcia's guitars and John Lennon's piano.  Wish I would've had time to visit the Great Lakes Science Center.  

Yeshua4Me, good you could make light for your family but that's a scary story, sending healing thoughts your way!

Lisa, I am still a (lightly) bearded lady. DH doesn't mind it and he actually said don't shave, you'll get stubble. I'm thinking about waxing but that hurts and I'm pain-averse.  I need a haircut soon so will talk to my hairdresser and see what she recommends.

Take care everyone and {{hugs}} to all.

"Shave and a haircut, two bits"

Anyone remember that little ditty?  It's been on my mind since this afternoon.  Stopped in to the hairderssers to see about a trim around the ears.  She was able to squeeze me in (not much hair = not much time LOL) and also took the clippers to my downy beard.  She's a naturally fuzzy-faced person which normalized it for me.  She clips hers and I've never noticed stubble on her face, so I figured it was OK and we went for it.

Marilyn, I've only ever trimmed my hair, like you I didn't want to give up ANY.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!  Sending good thoughts and {{hugs}} to all

Well, only 2 weeks left of rads! I'm so excited. I can finally see the end of this thing. So far no skin reactions to the radiation and I do keep my breast slathered with aloe vera. After rads is over, I'm finished. No pills or anything for me because I am triple negative. I just see my oncologist every 3 months for a year or so for a blood test. Hopefully this thing never comes back! I mentioned before that I tested positive for BRCA 2 gene which means that my breast cancer was inherited. At that time I was told my 3 children had a 50% chance of inheriting the gene from me. None of my children wanted to be tested. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. Well, my daughter told me last week she decided to get tested. I think because her and her boyfriend have become VERY serious and they are talking marriage. She will be 24 next month. Anyway, I got VERY scared. I don't really want her to have the test because if it comes back positive I will be VERY upset! I didn't say any of this to her. I just smiled, told her I'd make the app, go with her to speak to the genealogist, and be with her for the results. But I am VERY scared. Please, please, not my daughter.......

Yesh - My heart goes out to you.  I have a 16 year old and cross my fingers every day.

Lots of mixed emotions today. The 3-day BC Walk came through my town this morning - is was a parade of pink. I was standing out there with my fuzzy bald head and my survivor shirt waving everyone on. I've never hugged that many sweaty strangers in my life. Lots of smiles, tears, and hugs. I thought of my fellow March gals and how we have all joined this club, never to look back. We are all part of something much larger than our own journey.

Sending out lots of warm vibes and sweaty hugs.  Marilyn

FYI - did you see the site's going to be down for several hours tonight? Starting

10:00 p.m. Eastern Time (see my post yesterday is date-stamped an hour late)

I can't bump up the Moderator Message posted this morning but it says:

Site will be down starting 10pm, EST

Our apologies, but beginning this evening at 10pm, EST, we are switching servers. The site will be down for approximately 3 hours. 

Stay tuned, and we'll be back up, hopefully faster than ever.

Best,

The BCO Team 

Anna and Lily:  I am so glad things worked out.  I can't imagine how stressful that was. 

Yesh:  I too am keeping my fingers crossed for your daughter.

Lisa:  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Maybe with more time/less stress you will be able to work on it a little bit at a time.  I think we all want to be "normal" again and are trying to do too much.  Oh, thanks for asking about the liver biopsy. 

Here is the latest:  My onc. reviewed my chart again, charted my blood work and decided I should be done with chemo.  I was not  in agreement.  So she said to think about while she consulted with 3 other onc.   We also spoke to another onc.  So all but one agreed that I have had enough chemo and that it is more important to move onto radiation and hormone therapy.  After speaking to the other onc.  we agreed.   The problem is I felt depressed over it.  Since I physically felt ok on taxol, I actually was comforted by going to chemo.  I also was on a count down.  Now, I have no count down and no celebration.  Very anti-climatic.  Yes, we could celebrate, but it's just not the same.  Anyway, my liver biopsy is scheduled for next Wed. Oct. 20.  We have an appt. with a radiologist this Wed.  I am not to start the tamoxifen until after the biopsy.  Now I am not sleeping, don't know why and still having weird dreams.  How are you ladies on tamoxifen doing?  I just do not feel like any more SE.   

After my second Pilate's class I was so sore I thought I was getting the flu!!  I think I need to go easier this week, I can not feel like that again.  I was miserable.  I am feeling at the end of my rope with something always hurting me.   And my mental confusion is worse than ever.  All I ever say is "sorry"  I forgot. 

Oh well, at least I am moving on. 

Hugs to all,

Michelle