March 2010 Chemo Start

Ana1973

Hello ladies....I haven't been around much lately, but I'm tickled to hear all the good news. It sounds like we are all moving on and celebrating each milestone. At this point I am waiting for the 2nd of 2 ultrasounds to make sure the "suspicious" spot isn't growing or changing. Fingers crossed!

I took a trip by myself to a cabin in the woods. For so long I felt like a science project and a cancer patient, so I took some time to find my self again. If you have the chance, I highly recommend it. It was wonderful not worrying about the phone ringing, dr. appts, pity stares...etc.

I updated my avatar...like you LillyC, my hair is so curly.

Sending you all big hugs....I don't have to be gentle anymore

Yeshua4Me

I'm done with radiation!!!   I finished on Monday and afterward my family and I celebrated. It feels so good to be done with everything. In the beginning of all this I couldn't see the end in sight...it seemed so far away. Many hurdles along the way but I made it, just as all of you have!

Today I had an appointment with my oncologist and he said my numbers look great and as far as he's concerned THE CANCER IS GONE!!! I will see him again in 3 months to test again. It was strange going back to his office for the appointment. I hadn't been there since chemo ended in August. My husband went with me and just walking through the door made me break out in a sweat and my stomach started turning. I thought I was going to throw up. But I knew it was just a reaction of having to go back there. I quickly got myself back under control. I didn't want to appear weak in front of my husband! I almost feel as if my life has just begun!

Hope you all are doing well and ANA: I love your photo! You are so cute! My hair is also very, very, curly but I don't look as cute as you!

hereandnow

Yay Yesh, congratulations!!  on both finishing and your oncologist's encouraging words. Charley, I'm sure you will soon put ideas of a combover out of your head  when it all sprouts afresh. I can't bear to cut mine yet - so I'm going the shaggy short look - which I'm kind of liking. Ana, I love the idea of a cabin in the woods, but mine would be a cabin on the beach, with no one else around, and some glassy little waves to loll in. Thinking of you through your scans - big hug back at you.

Mum comes down to visit next week - she's finished rads, and is on arimidex, and feels "back to normal", so I am very relieved, and can't wait to see her.

xx

badger

G'Day ladies, just a quick hi and Happy Halloween or Samhain, whichever you celebrate!

hereandnow

G'day and Happy Halloween to you too - we don't celebrate Halloween in Australia, or I should say we never used to. The marketers are trying but haven't quite got a foothold yet.  Hope you all had some fun and kicked your heels up.   xxx

staceyt

Hello Ladies,

Just checking in

Had to do the change over the clothes this weekend - hated to say goodbye to summer but I also enjoy winter.  Actually, right now we have freezing rain :-(

I have a question for all of you, lately I have been really nauseous - I changed the time I take my tamox thinking maybe that was it but it wasn't.  For those of you taking effexor do any of you have this SE?  I have a couple more weeks before I see my Oncologist so was hoping maybe someone else had experienced this and found the cause and cure.

Yeah - Congrats on finishing!

Hugs and prayers to All - Stacey

badger

Hey Stacey - I am on tamox but it doesn't make me nauseous.  My multi-vitamin, however, does if I take it on an empty stomach.  So now I take it after supper.  Hope you find some relief!

Kayne

Stacey - I am on Effexor and have no problems, I usually take it on an empty stomach.  I just started my Tamox and so far so good. 

Had Rads #1 today and I have  to say, I hate it.  I feel like it's torture.  The position is very hard for me to stay in for 15 min.  I have a knot in my neck and am not a happy person.  I also feel like the radiation is going to kill me.  If they put a mat on your chet at the dentist, how can they expose your whole body to the amount my chest is getting.  Really freaks me out!! I hope I can do this every day. 

Michelle

Yeshua4Me

Michelle, I know how you feel. I just finished rads 2 weeks ago. I only had to stay in position for maybe 5 minutes at the most. I don't know why yours takes so long. Maybe it won't be as long after you get started going everyday. The whole idea kinda freaked me out too but so did chemo. Rads went really fast for me...I started and then it seemed as if time just flew by and I was done. I had 25 sessions. How many do you need?

teemee

Wow it is so good to hear that people are doing so well!

Michelle, it is icky. Cancer treatment to me is slash, poison, burn. Every part icky. I do agree with the others, though, that it does go quickly, more quickly than seems possible, actually.

I'm in the middle of a self-created panic and hoping writing will help me ease it a bit. Over the past month the lumpectomy breast has been getting more sore, and then in the last week swelled and is very tender, around the incision. I saw my onc yesterday, who called my surgeon, who immediately put me on antibiotics and sent me for an ultrasound. So far no one has seen more cancer but they don't know what it is. Maybe infection (I'm the one that was in the hospital for ages with the staph infection from my lumpectomy). I see the surgeon tomorrow, maybe she'll get a biopsy.

My god I can't believe the drama I am feeling. It just seems like it brings everything back, and I thought I was done. I just started tamox a week ago and that's the last step for me. Anyway I'm a bundle of nerves.

I am nauseous a lot now and don't really even like to eat since starting the tamox. Not on effexor though. I am breaking out again from it ;(

I slowly am getting energy back. My strength is coming back faster than my energy -- I can bike up bigger and bigger hills, but I still run out of gas at 6 miles. Or I did until this last setback. Boob is too sore to exercise. The brain stuff is OK, not great. Lisa I am SO glad you moved your lit review. I am trying to get my lit review done for my thesis (masters degree) not even PhD and I just can't focus enough to put the ideas together. 

I am just a ray of sunshine today, eh? Actually I just made myself laugh. You women are the best!

Hugs, Toni

badger

{{Toni}} here with you sister as long as you need us, will be thinking of you tomorrow! {{hugs}}

Yeshua4Me

Glad some of us are still posting. I want to stay until the very end, when all of us are through with treatment.

Michelle: Even though you just started radiation, keep us updated on how you're doing. I'll stay in contact with you until you're through okay? Don't worry, the time will fly by and soon you too will be done!

Toni: I get scared sometimes. I don't take any medicine at all for cancer. After chemo and radiation, I'm done (because I'm triple negative). I keep thinking I should be on something but then I try to remind myself that I'm okay right now. But still, I stress. I've only been done with everything for about 2-3 weeks so I'm hoping this feeling of panic will go away soon.

I'm not getting any stronger yet. My bones and muscles still ache. It was my legs but now, my wrists and finger joints. Hoping it will go away soon. I don't like taking pain killers everyday. I try to skip a dose but then I pay for it later. Hard to get the pain under control again when I skip. My doctor says it's a side affect from Taxotere. I feel like an old woman but I'm only in my 40's. I guess time will heal all.

I decided to send my publisher my new book. I finished it right before my diagnosis and kept it under wraps until I was done with treatment. I feel now that my brain is functioning well enough to do rewrites. At least I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Trying to keep busy. I've been thinking of starting an outline for a new book in-between rewrites. We'll see what I can handle.

Hope all are well.

Kayne

Toni:  Hang in there-  I am so sorry you are going through this.  Hopefully the antibiotics will knock it out.  Let us know how you make out today. 

Yes-  My joints still ache as well.  I agree, when I get up I feel like an old lady, too.  I guess we will never feel like our old selves, we will have to find a new norm to feel like.  I just hope it's better than how i feel right now!

Are you ready for the new issue with me?  Since chemo I have had a sore in my nose.  Last week my nose would whistle when I was breathing, which I thought was from swollen nasal tissue from allergies.  Not that I ever had this before, but that is what i thought it was.  It finally would come and go.  So I thought my diagnosis was correct.  My nose also runs constantly, which again I thought was from allergies.  So I start using the Netti pot to get rid of the runny nose.  Doesn't work, still running and now whistling again.   Sorry to get graphic---So I get a flashlight to look in my nose and I think I see a hole in the cartilage between my nose!!  OMG Do I have flesh eating disease?  cancer of the nose???   Go to work, ask my husband how much he loves me and tell him.  He calls my onc. (I can't deal with this) and she doesn't know what it could be but to get to an ENT asap.    I go and indeed I do have a hole in between my nose, that will probably not close unless operated on..  She puts a medicated "band aid" on the ulcer on both sides to clear that up so the hole doesn't get bigger.  AUGGGHHHH   This is a result of being dry, probably a result of the Avastin I was on.  And to think, we thought I had no side effects from it. Ha  And the runny nose, is from the chemo changing the make up of my body.  Usually only seen in elderly people.  And that will not stop either!!!  Are you kidding me!!!!  I guess that's why old people always have a tissue in their sleeve.  My body is over producing nasal fluid.  Then why do I have a hole in my nose from dryness!!!  My onc said , wow, it is very rare side effect of Avastin.  Thats me RARE, can't be normal.  She is not sure I can blame it on Avastin since I have been off it for awhile.  Really, never had this before.  Just another day in the cancer world.

Thanks for being supportive with the rads.  2 down and 26 more to go.  I just keep saying, I will get through this, I will get through this. 

Yes-- that is exciting about your book.  Glad you feel like moving forward, good luck.

Have a great day, everyone.  Toni-- sending good vibes and hugs.

Michelle

badger

Michelle sorry about the rare SE, we already won the 1:8 BC lottery, now this, right?

Yeshua4Me congrats on the book and good luck with the re-writes and your editors!

Toni how did it go today?

Thinking of you all, sending good vibes and {{hugs}}

LillyC

Hi y'all ( as they say here in Va).

I'm so glad that so many have finished treatments, but I do miss hearing from everyone.  I'm doing well.  I finally got over the neuropathy in my fingers and am getting a lot of my energy back.  I'm still having problems with the seroma that formed from my lumpectomies.  I've had it drained once and will go back again next week.  It really bothers me when it leaks fluid around my nipple, but the dr sent the fluid to the lab and it is normal.  Thank goodness!

Michelle - radiation is a bit scary, I agree.  I had 33 treatments this summer.  Eight years ago, I had 36 treatments for another cancer - anal that had gone into my lymph glands.  I had just been deemed "cured" a few months before my mammogram.  You just have to trust the radiologist, knowing that they do this so very often, unfortunately.  I found it helpful to pass the time while getting the treatment to say a Bible verse to myself and then the Lord's prayer.  It not only helped the time pass, but gave me great peace and comfort.  The verse, by the way, was Philippians 4:7. Also, am so sorry that you are having the nose issue - sometimes it seems more than we can bare, but we do get through it.  BC is bad enough without these crazy side effects!

Yeshua - I am so impressed about the book.  I'd love to know what it's about - fiction or non... I still have the joint pain also, but not quite as much.  Sometimes I do have shooting pains though my fingers and toes.  Guess it's that Taxotere!

Toni - an infection????  Enough is enough, I agree.  At least they see no "C".  Keep us posted.

Love and prayers for all.  I'm sorry that we are all on this journey, but I agree with Toni - you all are the best and I'm so glad we are here for each other. 

Charley

Toni - Sorry you are going through this!! Hopefully you have found that it is nothing and feeling better.  Keep us posted!  I have often thought about the loss of my breasts and whether it was really necessary given the stage of my disease.  Then I hear the issues that you all with lumpectomies have had and I realize that I could be very well dealing with these problems instead. Not saying that either is better or worse ... just different. I guess there are issues on either side. <sigh>

Michelle - A hole in your nose?  This is really too much!  You have had every SE plus a few. I say that you are now NOT allowed to have any more SEs. !!! Sorry you are going through this.

And Yes, it took me awhile to get over the aches of taxotere.  I took pain meds for awhile after chemo just because of the lingering aches and pains but I haven't taken any for a few months and and feeling fine.  Even off of the ambien!  Didn't think I would ever stop taking that! Just have to take it slow ...

 ((Hugs)) Charley

hereandnow

Hello my beautiful March friends.

I have been away interstate at a conference for a week and stayed away from internet access, which was a little bit liberating. But lots to catch up with you girls. Toni, I can't believe you're having this problem now -pls let us know how it's going. I'm sending you gentle hugs and thinking of you - what crap, I hope it's already settling down with antibiotics, did you need a biopsy? When do you need to have your lit review in?  I  am feeling less like Dory from Finding Nemo, memory's improving, but still taking a while for higher functions to return - and to bring everything together. Yesh -congratulations on submitting the book - go girl, inspirational!  Michelle -what the hell? I looked that side effect up and it is extremely rare with Avastin - the case report I read (and there are only a few)-the perforation eventually healed - have you seen an ENT surgeon? I fully intend on hangin' here with you girls til we've all finished. I have little aches which I put down to taxoterrible, but I think they're improving.

Hi lovely badger, and Lilly, and Charley. Badger -75 miles to go.  By the way, I cancelled my reconstruction -which was supposed to be in 2 weeks. I am only just starting to feel like myself again, sleeping better, less up and down emotionally - I think I'll just take the summer to regain me a little more, go to the gym, play in my garden, and hopefully be a bit more physically and emotionally ready for surgery next year.

love to you all, I think of you all often,

Lisa

Yeshua4Me

Lisa, I also cancelled my surgery! I just want to be left alone for awhile and heal. My breast exchange is now set for March 30th. It was suppose to be Nov. 3rd. Now I have about 5 months of just relaxing, healing, and trying to learn to breathe slowly and not stress myself out with wandering thoughts of death.

Still have the bone pain. It drives me crazy. I hate being high all the time with the pain killer drugs but I don't have a choice. My family gets annoyed with me if I don't take the pills because I whine and can hardly move without wincing. I just don't want to get addicted to them so I try to take them sparingly. But by doing that, I set myself up for pain that is much harder to get under control. My doctor is aware of the problem and tells me that I won't get addicted. I try to trust him.

Michelle, you poor thing! I don't know what to say. Just hang in there girl! I think of you all the time and hope that things are getting better. Keep us posted.

frosty1

Oh my goodness!  Holes in the nose, pain ... what else do we have to endure.  Isn't going through surgery and chemo enough?  I feel for all of you doing rads.  That's one thing I don't have to do.  At least right now.  I've been feeling a little weird as I come up on my 'anniversary' of diagnosis.  Too strange to think what life was like a year ago ... ignorance was bliss at that point.  Please know you are all in my thoughts ...

CBeam

Thinking of you all; and sending good vibes to everyone.  I've been thinking of you all much as we are in the "thankful" month of the year - I am thankful for all your posts and sharing of your experiences.

hereandnow

Had the "all clear" visit with my BS yesterday. She gave me the request form for USS and mammo for February and said see ya later. Afterwards, decided I'd finally had enough of the gray hair, and Mum and I went to the salon, where they clipped off the chemo hair tips, applied a little magic, and now I have brown hair again. Pixie cut, oiled up and spiky - I've got to get some new clothes to go with my new look. Need to lose at least 5kg first. Would like to figure out the way to block out stupidbreastcancer anxiety until my annual scans - I thank goodness it's finally sunny here, so that helps alot.

I send you all a little bit of Spring if you need it.

Toni, hope everythings ok.

Lisa

badger

G'day all, had my 4-month follow-up appt with my oncologist.  Blood counts are perfect and he says I look great.  I've gained a few pounds but not enough to flag my chart.  He didn't nag, just said to walk at least a half-hour every day.  The first 15 minutes of walking burns available glucose and the fat-burning starts after that.  I don't have to go back for 6 months so I see him again in May. 

I'm still grey/white but was before so it's natural for me.  Got my hair cut Saturday in a style where I can comb it down smooth or spike it up.  I've been going spiky :-) with attitude!

IDK how to get rid of stupidbreastcancer anxiety, just how to LIVE with it.  I wonder if this is how Americans in the 1950's felt about the "red scare" - everyone slightly apprehensive and ever-vigilant about the possibility of attack.

Anyway, off to work with me!  Sending healthy healing vibes and plenty of {{hugs}}

teemee

Hi all,

First, bloody hell! A hole in the nose!! Does it never stop!!

Whew, just had to get that out of my system. We all deserve a break in my opinion.

Well, we're still unsure about the infection. It seemed to be responding to oral antibiotics, but in the past 2 days is swelling again. I go to the surgeon tomorrow, probably another ultrasound. I went through a week in the hospital and 5 weeks of IV antibiotics at the end of January for staph infection from my surgery. Now I think, can it have lurked there for months just doing nothing? Will it ever die? Sigh.

I so appreciate everyone checking in with me. I can't even begin to tell you how much this group means to me. It was a sad couple days--yesterday was my 1-year diagnosis date, and my emotions are not caught up yet. Still in grief mode. AND stupidbreastcanceranxiety.

Hugs to all, and I'll let you know what the doc says

Toni

Yeshua4Me

Toni: Hope all goes well with the surgeon and you finally find out what's going on. At least you and I have one thing to be thankful for~the beautiful Fall weather! I'm just a few miles from you and am enjoying the warm Fall days. I'm still in grief-mode too along with a bit of anxiety. Hell of a way to live huh? How's the hair comin' in?

Thinking of all.

Ana1973

Brace yourselves ladies...I need to rant!

A BIOPSY! WHAT! WHY? COULD IT HAVE COME BACK? SO SOON?

I just don't understand...I had my 2nd of 2 ultrasounds last Tues. Had blood work last Thurs. Radiologist said they didn't see any reason for concern and they'll see me in 6 months. Then WHY do I have to have a biopsy on Monday? My Onc said it is his job to keep me alive and it is his opinion that a closer look needs to be taken, oh, but my blood work is perfect! How does this make sense?

Ladies, I need your prayers and positive thoughts. The anxiety is full blown and I think I might freak out! Please pray that it's nothing...just the scar tissue they said it was in the first place.

Love you ladies! You are my rock!

badger

{{Ana}} sending up a prayer for you right now!  Strength to make it through the weekend, courage to walk in for the biopsy Monday, patience to wait for the path report, and B9 results!  {{hugs}}

hereandnow

Ana, I'm walking right beside you. Will be there on Monday too. Although it's crap to have to go through this anxiety, I'd rather have a paranoid oncologist who checks out their concerns, than too much of the wait and see type, that's just my preference. Warm and positive thoughts heading your way  {{Ana}}. 

Lisa

PS Badger, you have such a beautiful way with words, must be your gray spiky hair

badger

thanks Lisa  yup it's the gray hair...I grew up with books not the internet :-)

hereandnow

lol badger, me too - I still can't read my journal articles in depth on line, I have to kill more saplings and print them out - something about highlighter and new neuronal fronds for me. I was just being cheeky, because of my recent transition from salt and pepper gray elfin to brown spiky. heh heh, sorry.

staceyt

Good Morning All,

First, Ana & Toni extra prayers to you both! 

Seems like we are all running the path of our first year check-up.  Just got done with my OC this morning and he wants me to see my surgeon OK why? To make sure the tenderness I have from my lumpectomy is only that and to schedule a mamo & unltra sound - Fine.  Second, he discussed the Braca1 & 2 test, again OK why?  Something I should think about - although I am not a perfect candidate for it, I do rank up there?  Ok so do I have it done or not?  Did any of you have this test done?  He did explain that the treatment for this is very painful if it turns out positive.  What is the new word you are all using stupidbreastrcanceranxiey!!!!  I was finally coming to grips with all of this crap now this.  Does it actually end - Really - Thanks for letting blow of some steam - you ladies are the best!!

Everyone keep your chins up and if I'm not back on the board - Have a fabulous Thanksgiving - as I say I am Thankful everyday that my feet hit the floor in the morning ! God bless and prayers to you all!

Stacey