second opinion rollercoaster

The story so far:

Area of microcalcs in each breast on screening mammo 7/30

 bilateral core bx 8/13 Path report atypical hyperplasia bordering on DCIS

Needle loc  8/24 Path report showed only "normal" breast tissue

Breast surgeon sends out core bx slides to Mass Gen and path comes back DCIS 3mm, nuclear grade 1, ER+, PR+

Sounds pretty straight forward, however the way all this was communicated was:

1. Core bx results called by LPN in radiology who told me it was NOT cancer, just atypical cells  which the breast surgeon would probably want to remove.  Saw breast surgeon 2 days later who said although path was atypia, he wanted to do a needle loc to see if anything else was "lurking" nearby.

2. Had needle loc, received call from nurse practitioner in surgeon's office that path came back clear, I did NOT have cancer. 

3.  Four days later, received a call from "breast program coordinator" that although the needle loc showed no ca or atypia, surgeon wanted second opinion on core bx path slides.  I was definitely not nice during this phone call.

4.  Met with surgeon who immediately said time for radiation.  I had done some research (including info from you ladies, thanks!) and wanted to discuss treatment opinions based on low grade, 3mm, no margins on needle loc as no abnormal tissue seen.  Surgeon stated these are the NCCN guidelines for DCIS--radiation or mastectomy, period.  Due to me having small breasts, recommended mastectomy.

5.  Researched and found breast specialist at Sloane Kettering who had published extensive work on low grade DCIS and arranged appt  for 9/23.  Sent all images, path slides,etc.  The day before the appt got a call from her office stating needed to cx my appt as since there was no further surgery needed, I did not need to see her.  Although I explained that I wanted  to talk about her research, they would not budge.

So much for second opinion, so now the surgeon sends me to oncology where the MD can only talk about tamoxifen as gold standard, then to rad onc who said if I was "only" concerned with what my breast would look like post rads,  get it cut off as he was not clairvoyant and could not guarantee that my  B cup breast would not shrink, swell, pucker, etc.  Nice.  Also said that there were no breast specialists who would entertain close observation in a 53 year old with DCIS, it was mastectomy or whole breast rads, period.

Sorry so long, but let me get to my real question,  I live in rural upstate PA, not a lot of choices for care here, NYC and Philly 4 hours from here.  Since Sloane "dumped" me am now thinking about Fox Chase as their web site states they have a "Breast Evaluation Center" for second opinions.  Anybody go there for second opinion?

Any 50 somethings, B cup out there who had whole breast rads?  I am worried about cosmetic outcome, maybe mastectomy a better option if my only options are rad versus mastectomy?