July 2010 Rads

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  • bennybear
    bennybear Member Posts: 326
    edited September 2010

    Hi all and congrats,  is everyone done now?

    Julie sorry about your birthday,  it seems that so much is affected.  And then the loss of your sister is another loss.   For our anniversary I had my sentinel node biopsy and then I missed my husband's birthday as I had eye issues,  which they told me were not connected to the radiation.   ?????

    I thought I was to wait until 3 months for the mammogram,  both my husband and myself thought that is what the doctor said, but the nurse said he wanted it done right away which worried me.  I called his office again to confirm and even the mammogram technician questioned me at first,  but said it made sense as it was 6 months since my last one and put me on track for the next 6 months at my usual time.   They were very gentle and had two radiologists review so I did feel reassured.

    Spendygirl,  I actually saw a counsellor today and she said that most people do worry about recurrence, but to try and not obsess as to live in a more positive way.  I think we all have been through so much that the reality is just starting to hit us. 

    I agree that we all need to keep meeting here.  I have found the support amazing,  I even saw some groups meeting,  Vegas anyone? LOL

    Brenda  

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  • Houndmommy
    Houndmommy Member Posts: 377
    edited September 2010

    Spendygirl - I can relate totally.  As long as I'm busy I am okay (and fortunately I am very busy right now) but when I have time to think, I worry about rec/mets. I feel (subconciously) like I am "preparing" myself for it.  It is like if I read enough then "when" I "get it" it won't be so bad.  It is hard to explain other than feeling like I'm some how preparing for it.  I worry about a recurrance but it is the whole mets thing that REALLY worries me.  I also find myself worrying about everything I should get done "in case"  I get rec/mets.  Things that if done, will help make things easier for my family like cleaning out the boxes of stuff I have from my childhood/college.  At this point my worry isn't debilitating or causing me to feel depressed so I figure it is "normal" and part of the emotional healing process. 

    We have all been through a lot and haven't had a lot of time to process it all so I think now is the time for emotional healing (and grieving) as well as physical healing as we try to get our "get up and go" back.  We are also trying to find that "new normal".  The next few months could in some ways be more difficult than all of the physical stuff we have been through.  There is no right or wrong way to go through this emotional process.  Some people move on easily and some people struggle more.  Probably one of the most difficult things is the fact that everyone else expects us to be okay now and just go back to life where we left off.  I am not the same person that I was before April 26, 2010.  Interestingly I have found myself thinking a lot about the moment when they told me I had cancer.  It keeps playing over and over in my head.  Wierd.

    Hang in there and know that you aren't alone!

    Kim

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  • changes
    changes Member Posts: 622
    edited September 2010

    Kim and Spendygirl,

    I was sooooo relieved to read what you both wrote. I worry almost obsessively about mets - not so much about a "regular" recurrence, because I could handle that, but I'm scared to death of metastasis. I think the worst part is that they cannot tell us with confidence that the cancer is ALL gone. I've had a pain in my right leg for about two months, and sometimes I am absolutely convinced it's mets, and other times (my saner times) I think it's just arthritis being aggravated by Tamoxifen. When I'm busy in the daytime it's not quite so bad, but at night I really worry. Like you, Kim, I find myself almost "preparing" for it (not that you can even prepare for it).  I also read the Stage IV forums and look for people who started out Stage 1 (which I know is not good for me to do, but I can't quite stop myself). I'm just hypervigilant and I almost feel like if I am super-informed, that I can somehow outwit the cancer. Not logical, I know, but I guess it's just part of the healing process.

    Maybe in a few months we will all be doing better both physically and psychologically. I do like the idea of a trip to Vegas, though (or a trip to anywhere for that matter).

    Karen

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    I just love you guys. 

    Julie - you're done!!!! I feel so bad for you and all you've been through losing your sister. I was just reading about people's grieving rituals after the loss of a loved one and shed tears over the loss of my mom - again!! I feel like I miss her more each day and it's been five years - so I can only imagine the profound loss you feel right now.I agree with KIm - "A" or "T" who cares - you're with us - stay with us please - don't want to loose your great energy. 

    Spendy - I worry constantly about reoccurance - though I will not let myself search outcomes anymore. I feel scared but more than scared I think I feel really sad. I also feel like I've experienced the death of a part of me through this process and it feels like I am grieving for myself right now - so I can totally understand not feeling like celebrating Julie. 

    Claire - thanks for coming to check up on us and including us in how things unfold as time goes on.

    I agree with you Karen and Claire - finding someway to celebrate or mark this occasion seems really important.

    My daughters are flying me to meet them in San Diego this weekend to celebrate their 30th birthdays with them. They booked my flight and called me after - said they wanted to have me with them when they woke up on Sunday and to have me around to celebrate with that day. My sense is they are terrified I'm about to drop dead and won't be around forever to celebrate birthdays - but I feel so blessed and touched by their actions. Makes me feel a bit melancholy and worried I may not be around to see them have babies etc.

    I am on facebook - rarely go there but would if you all wanted to connect that way.

    Take care everyone - thanks for your support!!!

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited September 2010

    I am participating in a study, and did the one year final survey Sunday evening.  My answers were interesting as I heard myself say them:

    1. They asked about pain, and my biggest pain items were a sore over-exercised butt, and a mouth sore from eating too many tomatoes.
    2. Question on sex was that I was climbing the walls as Main Squeeze had been out of town.  Otherwise, things are fine.
    3. Sleepless nights in the past 21 days.....those nights in a tent where I seemed to slide down into the tent wall every hour.  Slept just fine once I got home.
    4. My family has been useless support-wise since the beginning so no change there.
    5. Worries were mainly money meltdown as I had a major shortage of consulting work a few months ago and know this can't continue for ever.  Much better now. 
    6. You get the gist.

    This is what I mean by being through it.  One thing I will say is that the past month has been one of intense growth as I move forward with my life.  So really psyched about that one.

    Loving the world of work and deadlines and possible exciting new career stop. - Claire

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  • spendygirl
    spendygirl Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2010

    Bailey - how wonderful for you to see your daughters on their birthday.  My family flew my daughter in for my birthday last month as a surprise.  I don't know if it was more for her or me??  My kids are 30 and 27 - I too wonder if I'll see my grandchildren.  It makes me so sad sometimes. 

    Karen and Kim - OMG, I have done the same thing, read the stage IV forums to see if anyone started as a I.  I also find myself caring for them so much and what they're going through.  And the preparing for "it" - it's like you both are reading my mind.  At age 48, I've been married for almost 31 years now and we have a lot of "stuff".  I keep thinking I need to go through files and drawers and boxes, etc.  to make it easier for my family.  I didn't think anyone else at stage I would be thinking the same things.  What a relief!  I think I can outwit it too by being informed. 

    Brenda I think you're right.  It's so much so quickly we don't get a chance to digest it.  And now that time is here.  Hopefully we'll all find a way through it.  You all are so wonderful, hope you get a good night's sleep  Thank you as always for your input and thoughts.

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    Finally finished writing my long winded response and by then a number of you had already posted responses. Really feel Normal when I read what you've written. I feel like so many of you say what I feel. Oh Karen, what you said about looking at stage IV threads to see where people started out - that's me!!! I can actually work myself into a crazy place if I let myself go - I also look to see what kind of cancer and compare myself that way to. It's so awful what we do to ourselves. 

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  • MagPag
    MagPag Member Posts: 98
    edited September 2010

    Hi, Congrats to the Class of July 2010!!  Julie, you really had a long and difficult road, I'm so happy you have this phase out of the way...what a great b-day gift to be finished zapping.  Everytime I hear 'Normal' in conversation, I think about you and all of the gals here.

    It would be great to keep this group going.  I've learned so much from you all and have kept my sanity knowing I'm not the only one going through these crazy emotions and thoughts.... and SEs.    Disappointingly I don't feel that I'll ever be done, even through I'm healed from rads.  I can't even respond when people ask if I'm done.  My mind races to future scans, and getting called in to talk about the results, and the whole nightmare starting all over again. 

    I've been in the stage IVs forums too and there both terrifying and inspiring.  But I've vowed to stay out as it only seems to fuel my mets obsession and I truly feel bad spying on their personal thoughts.  You're all right, keeping busy is the best medicine.

    I've been crazy at work which is good for filling my brain with regular stuff and trying not to leave too much room for the BC thoughts.  Been too tired to read much, but almost finished AntiCancer and will move on to the psych books.

    Thanks again Kim for starting this thread!  It's an amazing thing and by far the best part of this journey.

    Take care.  Donna.

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  • Julie50
    Julie50 Member Posts: 227
    edited September 2010

    Morning All:

    Ok, so what do I do this morning without going to the SPA...Oh try and sleep...LOL

    My sister in Denver just sent me my B-day gift its a stone Massage for BC this place does most cancer patients 90% BC very cool can't wait to try it out...This old body could sure use it at this time...

    Yes I have been through a lot this year, but I'm a believe it can only make one stronger, just like BC, it can only make me a stronger person in the end.  And look at all the friends I've met...:)

    I'm also on facebook under Julie Richardson, we should all try and meet there, it would be so nice to stay in touch. 

    Bailey-what a gift, and YES you will be there to see your grandchildren someday, don't ever think different.  Remember BC will not win, WE WILL....

    I really have to do more reserach on the pills from hell.  They only give us 2-3% so I am wondering why I would put this drug into my body when they don't know the long term effects it will do on our body, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......I'm lucky to take a asprin without a reaction....Thank god Wine does not do that to me...:)

    Well ladies this part of the book is at end, I'm sad in many ways to be done as we all will go on in different directions, please lets all try hard to stay in touch.

    I want to thank each of you for your support, love and prayers during this time in my life, without this board I truly think I would have gone nuts the past 7 weeks.  My family and friends have been great, but sometimes don't think they truly know the effects it has taken on me.  

    Love to each of you!!!!

    Julie

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  • Houndmommy
    Houndmommy Member Posts: 377
    edited September 2010

    It is so good to know that I'm not alone in my fears (and ocassionally peaking at the st IV forum).

    Sonia - how wonderful of your daughters to arrange the trip for you.  You will have a great time I am sure! 

    Have any of you been asked "what your prognosis is?"  I was asked this a few time early on but I was asked by a doctor today. I didn't know what to say because I don't know what it is (and am not sure I want to know).

    Have a good evening ladies!
    Kim

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  • changes
    changes Member Posts: 622
    edited September 2010

    Hi Kim,

    I have a long list of questions for my medical oncologist when I meet with him in a couple weeks - questions about prognosis are one of them. He told me I had a "good" prognosis, and I know the 5-year survival rates, but I want to know the long-term survival rates. Most people have quit asking me about my prognosis - they just ASSUME I'm fine, which quite frankly upsets me. Easy for them to be sure of, not so easy for me. Oh, well...

    Karen

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    Julie you have been a huge part of this circle of support  - and I am comforted by you and everyone else and again so very grateful to have this soft place to fall. Was assessed for a blood clot today - everything is clear but I am having serious aching in my leg - posted on the Tamoxifen thread about my day. Feeling pretty vulnerable today.

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  • spendygirl
    spendygirl Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2010

    Bailey so sorry.  Do you think it's Tamoxifen causing your pain?

    Karen, I'm so with you on the prognosis.  And when I see 5-year survival rates, I always think ok, that means you're alive.  Obviously some will have progression.  That's what I want to know....what percentage progress by five years.  I make myself crazy sometimes.....

    Love and hugs to all,

    Tracye

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    I don't know Tracye - I have had a lot of new joint pain in my hands since starting tamoxifen but this leg aching is really new and I haven't checked the side effect list to see if body aches are a part of the side effects. I think the most difficult thing for me was emotionally - I just feel so done with being poked, ultrasounded, cut, medicated, radiated and I was just starting to feel normal and this just shot me back into feeling really sorry for myself - almost felt more upset today than I had since early diagnosis days.

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  • MagPag
    MagPag Member Posts: 98
    edited September 2010

    Hi, Sorry to hear about your leg Sonia. Did they offer anything for relief?  I've heard tonic water (with quinine) is supposed to be helpful for leg cramps and pain. Your weekend with your daughters sounds lovely.  Enjoy every minute.

    Kim, I've not been asked about my prognosis. But I did ask the med onc and the surgeon.  Both said good, about the same as the general population.  It's not how I have always thought about cancer in general, so I'm skeptical and want to try to define 'about'.  Then again, not sure if I really want to know either.

    I'd like to think if you make it to the 5 years your less likely to have recurrence or mets beyond that, but I've know some women who have had it happen around 10 years out.  Likely the docs don't speculate because they simply can't predict.

    Wish I had a crystal ball.  Take care everyone and have a good night.  Donna.

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  • LoveCranes
    LoveCranes Member Posts: 39
    edited September 2010

    With the kids now back in school and being a SAHM, it's weird not doing anything to do with bc.  Although I'm still healing from the rads, I'm still worried and scared about reoccurance and mets.  I'm too scared to look at the stage IV forum, because sometimes I think if I don't think about it, it'll just go away.  I know silly, but it's helping me emotionally.  I'm trying to stay busy so that I don't sit here thinking about bc and the what if's....also about the SE's of the "T" pill, which I will be starting next month.  I have a friend that has been on it for about 2 weeks now and she's fine.  No major SE's...I'm hoping that I'll be OK.  But one thing I've learned is that normally when I take any kind of pill, there's always a SE that I get... hate it and that's why I really try not to take any.  I guess we'll wait and see. 

    Bailey1958- that's a great surprise from your daughters. 

    Kim - I'm not sure what my prognosis is either, nor a response to that.  I meet with my bs in Oct and will ask that question.

    Have a nice evening everyone.

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  • Julie50
    Julie50 Member Posts: 227
    edited September 2010

    Bailey:  How is the leg today???? Glad they checked for blood clots....

    Well yesterday was strange not going to the SPA,but nice to hang out with Jim for our anniversay, drank to much wine tho...LOL

    Going for my CT of the heart today, hopefully that will turn out AOK---Heart always worries me when they are checking it....

    As hard as it may be-try and think "HAPPY THOUGHTS" we have come so far, don't let BC ruin the rest of your GOOD LIFE you have ahead of you....(ok easy to say)....As it also scares me at times...

    Ok, off for my CT, I hope everyone has a good day!!!

    Julie

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  • Chicago1018
    Chicago1018 Member Posts: 147
    edited September 2010

    Sonia - I didm't think to tell you this on the "T" thread but joint and bone pain is listed as a possible "t" side effect. 

    Kim - you ask an interesting question about prognosis. . .I guess I haven't thought to ask it that way before.  I've heard a lot of facts and figures about BC in the last year and I can't believe that wasn't one of them.

    It feels good to know there are other people "lurking" on the recurrance forums, etc.  I don't think I could admit that to many people because they would think I am nuts. 

    Julie - you mention a 2-3% improvement in your recurrance prevention. . .I've seen that other places.  Is that accurate?  That doesn't seem like much in the giant scheme of things but I guess I'll take every point I can get.

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  • bennybear
    bennybear Member Posts: 326
    edited September 2010

    Thanks so much for being there,  you guys just get it.  

     Kim,  you are right that there is not right or wrong,  we are just all going through a very emotional healing time as we figure out our New NORMAL!!! 

    I totally agree that I am a different person now than I was,  I am not sure my friends get that.  I was at a work meeting with some colleagues and they were laughing and giggling at how they would like to  work part time like I am.  I was actually pretty choked and said they wouldn't want to go through what I did to get there,  I wish I was stronger and could work full time,  and I am sure I will get there, but it is weird not knowing when.

    Donna and Karen, I also agree that we look NORMAL and people assume everything is Okay when we have changed fundamentally.  It also ticks me off, seems it is easier for them to assume that everything is okay then to really talk to you,  That is why I sure need you all. 

    I find myself really evaluating the future and how I want to spend it.  

    Tracye, I laughed because cleaning out things has also been at the forefront of my mind,  I guess my mortality is showing.  

    Claire, thanks for the hopeful glimpse of the future when we have come to terms with things.

    Sonia,  I am so glad your daughters arranged that,   what a lovely gift for all of you,  I hope your leg heals,  YIkes not fair to have even more to deal with.

    I am thinking of doing the Run for the Cure to mark this chapter,  My daughter is going to go with me so that feels good. 

    Julie,  good luck with your scan,  I agree we cannot let this win and ruin the rest of our lives.  Easier said than done, 

    brenda

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    Hi Everyone,

    My leg has been pretty sore today - I'm really feeling the wear and tear of the last few months on my brain and body this week that's for sure. I am relieved I don't have to deal with figuring out how to manage a blood clot curve ball - but I really am hoping this is the end of physical worries for me - now and forever.  

    Brenda people are just so clueless about this very difficult journey you've just been through. I can't believe they would be so insensitive to say that to you. You take good care of yourself - you've just been to hell and back and it takes time to heal. Work will always be there waiting for you.

    I really feel like such a different person -  I was reading the how cancer has changed you thread and still can't put into words just how different I feel but i feel like I am a totally different person than I was four months ago - who knew.

    I'm excited to get out of here Saturday and hug my kids. Sleep well everyone.

    Sonia 

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  • Houndmommy
    Houndmommy Member Posts: 377
    edited September 2010

    Yesterday I wore a real bra with my prosthesis for a good part of the day.  That was the first time since starting rads and actually I haven't really worn a bra much since my surgery in May.  I had about 2 weeks prior to rads where I felt healed from surgery and wore one when I went out of the house but being a SAHM that wasn't dialy or for any length of time.  Anyway, it caused a little discomfort in one place but overall not bad.  I have gotten so use to going braless that I am finding I just don't want to put one on although I will be glad to be able to wear some of the tops I couldn't wear braless so I am glad I have the option now.

    Julie - how did your heart scan go?  Is everything okay?

    LovesCranes - I am a SAHM too.  My boys are 12 (6th grade) and 15 (9th grade). 

    I really haven't given this whole prognosis question much thought.   I never asked and no one ever told me anything - ignorance can be bliss!  It seems most things are in percentages and those stats just don't mean much to me anymore.  Statistically I shouldn't have BC.  I have heard that there are milestones that decrease the likelihood of it returning.  The 2 year mark and the  5 year mark are significant but there are just no guarantees.  It is that uncertainty we have to live with.  I try to remind myself that no one has a guarantee on how long they will live - anyone could be in a car accident tomorrow.  I think those of us who have been through cancer have just been given a glimpse of our mortality that others don't get.  When you are healthy it is easy to think we will live a long time. 

    I have a question - how often is your doc doing a mammo/scan of your healthy breast?  I thought I would have a mammo of my healthy breast at the 6 month mark but apparently my doc isn't doing that.  I was just curious as to what other docs were doing and am trying to decide if I should insist on something (personally I'd like an MRI since mammos don't show everything in my dense breast).

    Have a good afternnoon!

    KIm

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  • Chicago1018
    Chicago1018 Member Posts: 147
    edited September 2010

    Hi Kim - They only do a mammo of my healthy breast every year.  I was surprised to hear that and like you, would have preferred an MRI every 6 months.  That actually brings up a question I had. . .were you surprised to hear that they don't do any screening of your MX side?  My med onc told me that the ohter day and I was a little surprised.  Obviously I understand the bulk of the breast tissue is gone but how do they look for and find recurrance if it happens? 

    I have been wearing my prosthesis and bra for a while now. . .although I pretty much wore the surgical cami during rads.  I wish I could find something to wear while exercising!  I have a "liesure form" filled with batting and even in a sports bra it looks lumpy.

    Brenda -  I was looking at a picture of myself from before my diagnosis and I said to my friend that I don't even know the woman in that picture anymore. . .she told me I was being dramatic. I have to say. . . it doesn't FEEL dramatic.  Not from where I am sitting. 

    My sister and I were talking about doing Race for teh Cure or the Avon 3 day.  If nothing else it will give me somewhere to focus my BC energy. 

    Hope all of you are looking forward to a nice weekend. 

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  • Julie50
    Julie50 Member Posts: 227
    edited September 2010

    Hi:  Heart scan said heart was OK.  Saw something small on the right side and will no more after its read, but he said it looked OK to him. 

    Kim I NEVER wear a bra, hate them, but then I have cherry tomatos for breasts..:)  

    Got my BILL for my radiation over 60,000 for 35 30 treatments and they still have to bill another 5.  I said to my Husband there will be a charge for laundry due to the gown I wore each day...:)  This BC has cost a lot of money over 140,000 as of today.....

    Chest x-ray said COPD (mild) but after reading on the reaccurance board I have myself worried, I won't read anymore...:(  Plus I really want that Bone and Pet scan, but they keep saying I don't need one....hummmmmmmmmmmmm

    Ok, to lay down been up since 2:00am, can't sleep and I'm getting really sick of this, even the sleeping pills don't help...I really need sleep...Any ideas?????????

    I was told a Mamo in 3 months, then I'm not sure, will ask my Onco on the 6th when I see him, good question...

    Have a good nite

    Julie

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  • spendygirl
    spendygirl Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2010

    Hi everyone, just catching up on all the posts.  I had a real shocker yesterday.  I went to my gyn to talk about Tamoxifen and what kind of follow up I would need with her.  So I told her about my very sudden change in periods since taking T - sooo.....ultrasound next week and an endometrial biopsy the following week.  Truly, I shut down after I heard the word "biopsy".  I might be having it the same day as the u/s, I really didn't hear much she said.  I just thought I was done for a couple of months.  I'm not worried about cancer (ok I probably am), it's that whole biopsy and waiting game.  It's so rough on your emotions.  And my boss' wife was dx with lymphoma today.  What's with all the cancer?

    Sonia I hope you figure out what's wrong with your leg.  How is it today?

    I too was suprised that I'm having an MRI and mammo in January only on the cancer breast, not the other.  Ok, is it just me, we just went through breast cancer treatment...we have two of them, if you're already in a machine why wouldn't they just look at both?  I don't get that at all.

    I think about you all often and am SO thankful that we have each other.  Love and hugs to all.

    Tracye

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  • Houndmommy
    Houndmommy Member Posts: 377
    edited September 2010

    Hi Chicago -   Yes I was totally surprised and upset to find out that they don't do any screening on my MX side.  I had 4 different tumors.  I had one involved margin (skin side) and one margin that was close (chest wall) so my chances of recurrence are significant.  It bothers me to think that the only way I'll find something is if I FEEL it. One of my tumors was ILC and it doesn't form a lump so I think it is difficult to feel .   My rad onc gave me a huge lecture on the importance of checking my chest regularly.  I just don't have confidence that I will feel anything until it is big.  I wonder if an MRI could be done of the flat side.  I'd almost be willing to pay for it myself just for the peace of mind.  I am also unhappy that my healthy breast only gets a once a year mammo.

    I like your idea of doing the Race for the Cure or the Avon 3 Day.   I have been thinking of doing something similar.  I really need to make exercise a habit and I thought focusing on something like that would help me be motivated as well as focus my BC energies.  I have been doing well at walking almost  everyday  this summer and in the last 3 weeks have really increased my walking distances.  I would like to start running again (ran when I was younger and my DH runs) but it would take some serious motivation that I haven't found yet.

    Julie - glad your heart is okay.  I am sorry that sleep is still a problem.  I wish I had something to offer that might help.  I did get a relaxation cd and loaded it on my iPod and I use it when I can't sleep.  It has been very helpful and I always fall asleep when I use it.  Have you tried something like that?  Are you still getting acupuncture?  I haven't figured out the cost of all of this yet nor have I seen an EOB from the rad onc  yet.  I imagine the washing of that gown daily is going to get expensive, lol!  I actually thought about bringing my own robe in.

    Tracye - sorry you are having to have a uterine biopsy.  I had to go through that last winter, before the BC dx.  The biopsy procedure really wasn't bad.  I was told to take 3 Ibuprofin  an hour before the procedure.  Yeah, the waiting game stinks.  Most likely it isn't anything.  My med onc said my periods would probably get weird and it is "normal" .  It is good they are checking you out though.

    Hppy Friday!  Kim

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  • NotAgain2015
    NotAgain2015 Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2010

    Hi Everyone, been away for a few days and wow, reading all your wonderful posts.  You guys are amazing - its almost like hearing yourself think.  

    Kim - so well said about us being given a glimpse of our mortality - I very much agree - its like having some insider information not to take things for granted. 

    Julie, sorry you have had to have more scans and worry - glad it turned out well.

    Tracye - I can relate to your hearing the word 'biopsy' - similar to me with skin cancer stuff.  When the doctor called me himself to tell me the results I swear my heart just stopped for a few beats.  Enough for one year!  I'm glad they will check you thoroughly though.  I bet you will be fine.  Still, will be thinking of you.

    My surgeon's office postponed my appt to 10/28 - so i get to continue putting off "T".  Secretly happy about that. 

    Has anyone else noticed that their breast swelled a little during rads, that it was slightly larger than the other one???  Well now, my radiated breast has started shrinking a little and is slightly smaller than the other one!  My DH says he can't tell the difference but I can.  I hope it stops.

    Hang in there everybody!  So glad you're all still here!

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  • bailey1958
    bailey1958 Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2010

    Hi Everyone,

    Off to bed and then away for the weekend. Thanks for all your support the last few days. My leg seems to be about the same - chalking it up to SE's from the tamoxifen. Have a restful weekend - I'll miss checking in with you over the next two day but am I ever glad to know you will all be here when I get back. Good sleeps, worry free days, rest and healing to you all.

    Sonia 

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  • Julie50
    Julie50 Member Posts: 227
    edited September 2010

    Hi Ladies:

    Tracy-I'm sorry you have to go through another worry, but try not to worry if you can (ok that is easy to say).  It just seems to never end with this this for us.  Hopefully its NOTHING and its NORMAL...:) Will be praying for you.  I find out on the 6th when I get a Mamo and MRI, I agree I want them BOTH DONE not just ONE....

    Sonia-Can't agree more, I'm so sick of worrying with each pain I feel in my body, but I think its NORMAL to feel this way for awhile.  LIke my cough, still has me very worried but they said x-ray was fine, so time will tell.  ENJOY time with the kids, and hug them all day...:)

    Kim-They gave me Ambin CR yesterday did help some, woke up a few times during the night but went back to sleep, this not sleeping is for the birds, I'm about to go crazy.  I do Acuntpure for the hot flashes and it has helped a lot, LOVE IT....

    Kickon-Glad you got to buy a few days before starting the PILL FROM HELL, I think I start mine on the 6th, hopefully my Dr. will cancel....hummmmmmmm....I just don't want to start it, but will try it, I just can't deal with all the SF, I just want a normal life for a while...Can we????

    Yes my breast is much bigger then the normal breast and the brown ring around the nipple is hugh, but breast is looking better each day, still red and itchs like mad.  But I can feel its quit swellon....

    Ok, Ladies off to see mom in the nusring home, have not seen her in two days and really I have enjoyed the break it can wear one down as she is so depressed being there, but I just can't bring her home and be the caregiver 24-7 again,  and that does break my heart, I wish I could win the lottery so I could bring her home and hirer someone to tend to her....I can dream...

    Have a great weekend and Enjoy not having to go to the Spa anymore...:)

    Hugs my friends

    Julie

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  • MagPag
    MagPag Member Posts: 98
    edited September 2010

    Good morning Ladies, 

    Julie, glad your scan was ok.  Seems they always see something, usually turns out to be nothing.  Have a good visit with your Mom.  Nursing homes are depressing, but sometimes are the best choice.  You're making sure she had good care and is loved and that is a wonderful thing.

    Kim, I too was told only annual for the good side. I'm going to push that because 2 years ago I had a biopsy with atypical cells, and with the ILC that supposedly jumps to the other side more frequently, I'd like it checked more often.

    Sonia, have a great trip with your girls and take care of your leg.  Will miss you.

    Tracye, sorry about your gyn testing and the new layer of worry.  I think it's very very rare, but best to check.  Will be thinking about you, hope you can get them done at the same time.

    Brenda & Chicago, the race is a good idea.  My son would like to do it.  He's running cross country (has a big meet today that's why I'm up so early).  He laughs that he'd leave me in the dust, but training would provide some focus.  I've thought about the 3 day too, but it seems so emotional, so I'm not sure I'm ready to walk and cry for 3 days.  I think it's too soon.

    Kickon, bc side is still swollen and it was bigger to start with so I'm really lopsided.  Doc said to expect the shrinkage over time after rads.

    Have great weekends everyone.  xoDonna.

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  • changes
    changes Member Posts: 622
    edited September 2010

    Hi all,

    Wow - a lot of posts on here! Has anybody had a "second peeling" of the radiated breast? Mine was looking pretty good, and I noticed today that it's peeling all over again. Not really a big deal, but kind of surprised me.

    Tracye - I am so sorry you have to do another biopsy! Even the word "biopsy" is enough to make my heart race a bit.

    Julie - you DESERVE to win the lottery! If only life were fair...

    To all of you doing Race for the Cure - I'm impressed! A friend offered to do it with me, but I just don't know that I'm emotionally up to it this year. Think I'll wait til next year.

    I agree about the stupidity of only checking our healthy breast once a year. I'm more worried about the healthy breast that the other one (figured the radiation zapped those nasty cancer cells quite thoroughly). It doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm also concerned because the radiologist had commented on "calcifications" in the right breast (the good one), which meant nothing to me at the time, but now I'm worried whether it might be a sign of DCIS. I have turned into SUCH a hypochondriac! I used to be the kind of person who NEVER went to the doctor and now I'm obsessing over ever symptom I have (doesn't help that Tamoxifen causes such a wide range of side effects).

    Hope everybody has a great weekend!

    Karen

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