please help
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Thanks Dink, my mom and dad are grateful that I spent time with dad this weekend. I was able to do it because my hubby was stuck on the road this weekend with loads that delivered in Ohio Sat morn, picked up in tell city indiana Sat night and delivered in columbia SC this evening. He ran out of available hours for last week when he got to SC. And to top it off, the laptop my son is allowing me to use is starting to die, the plug doesn't always charge the computer and the video card started to go out yesterday. I am working with a green/blue tint to my screen and no reds.
Sheila
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Sueps--
I haven't seen much from you in these last 100 or so posts--how are you? I love your sense of humor. Diazepam helped me a lot, as did denial! I have 2 kids, 12 and 15--and involved them from the beginning. I think it's important to be honest but it's also important to be the parent, and it's a tough call sometimes of which one to be. I had a mastectomy a few weeks ago, and was complaining about the comparative sizes of my boobs (my "noob" [new boob] and "droob" [droopy boob]--my noon is nice and round and firm from a tram flap. My 15-year-old son, being spatially-minded, suggested I use an insert in my bra on the droopy side. So I tried it, and was so pleased with the result I lifted up my shirt and showed him! Maybe that's a bit off the deep end for you, but we have found that honesty--"yeah, I'm a little scared, but I'm confident in my doctors, and I know lots of women have made it through this before me"--and humor "Mom, you could be your own night light if you need radiation!" gave me the love and support at home that I so needed. My kids were involved; this thing wasn't happening to them, they felt like they had some control. And it was OK or them to see me cry. Once in a while. Let us know how you're doing!
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Betsy, Sue doesn't post much here lately she wanted to get away from bootface (cancer). She started this thread in 2007 and a group of us have helped her through her treatments. Now we keep up more on facebook than here but we still post occasionally when we have problems that we don't want our friends on FB to know.
Sheila
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Ah--thanks. I'm new to the discussion boards here, and am amazed at the warmth and support you all show each other.
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Hello ladies. I received news today that another friend, a nurse, found out she has breast cancer. I was coming from Lubbock from have a procedure performed and she was on her way to Lubbock to get a second opinion from and oncologist. You know it is very strange just how many of our nurses in the same emergency room over the last 10 years have been diagnosed with cancer. There were 4 now diagnosed with breast cancer, 1 diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and another diagnosed with melanoma within the last 9 years. Is there a connectionn somewhere with all of this. All of the case mentioned above were women and then there was 1 radiology tech from he ER diagnosed with cancer
Sheila, I had he nipple reconstructions done today. She made them out of the skin located nderneath my scar.and then sewed them up. She put steri strips on the aread around the nipples. I have to put the guaze in a doughnut shape around the nipples with a large bandaid across them loosely. She said I will do that for 2 weeks then on October 26, I will have the tattooing performed and then I'll be finished with breast cancer.
Love you all,
Leesa
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Leesa, how many nurses have worked in that emergency room over the last 10 years? Seven over 10 years out of a group of 100 or more is not all that huge.
In my neighborhood, they considered putting up a cell phone tower on the school grounds. It's a good thing they decided against it. Within two years, 3 women that I know of, who live within 1000 feet of where the tower would have been built have been diagnosed with breast cancer. We definitely would have been blaming the tower, when there is obviously something else that is the cause.
Unfortunately I am finding that cancer, especially breast cancer is all too common.
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Leesa, Sorry to hear about your friend. but glad to hear you are on the last stages of your recon. Have you seen any tattoos done by the person doing it? I saw a few pictures but nothing up close and I wasn't happy with the final results, that is when I went to Earleen to touch them up.
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No I haven't seen any pictures. I tell you, when I first looked at the reconstruction done yesterday, I was so upset and thought how ugle. I've had two showers since yesterday's procedure and they are starting to look like real stuff now - not so disappointed now. But they are still ugly, lol.
I guess I don't know too many other people with cancer and haven't know that many people all my life with cancer until I moved to Texas and then met you ladies here. I have worked with these ladies/men since May 1999, and to me that seemed like alot. I worked at my previous trauma center from 1991 to 1999 and no one from there that I knew of had cancer. It just seems a little weird to me. Or maybe it never hit close to home like this and now I'm more aware than before?
Leesa
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Leesa, I think it's more a case of we're all getting older (and so are our friends)...and in truth, cancer is mostly a disease of aging. As we age and we're exposed to more and more carcinogens, the likelihood of developing cancer increases. And, lord knows, many of us were exposed to unknown carcinogens in the name of progress during the 50s and 60s.
Also, many cancer deaths were hushed up when I was a child. People whispered about it, but they always used euphemisms like "the Big C".
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Hi sisters!!!
It's been awhile, and I am sorry! Working alot, and busy with the house and my super fantastic man!!! lol. I do think about all of you so much. I caught up with the posts as best I could today.
Nancy and Barb....I have to say first of all, your pics on here are just stunning!!! You both look fantastic!
Nancy....have you heard about the job promotion? I am praying for you!! You I am sure are one of their front runners for the job!! I so pray that you get it!!
Leesa....sounds like you are almost complete...just the tattoo, which is the easiest part of all!
Leesa and Cathi..you are both wonderful loving people, who have done SO MUCH for their families!! You are an inspiration!! I pray that your children, someday realize how much you have done for them and their children.
Sheila...good luck on the job search...it's so fustrating!! Danni is still searching...she has a job..but not one with her masters degree!!
To all my dear sisters here....I love you all...you all bring so much to this thread...and I love catching up on what's happening in your lives.
I have alot going on with the girls...good and not so good. I just haven't logged on long enough to share...but I will.
Leaving tomorrow at 1pm to drive to Chicago with Tom!!! We will visit with my daughter and her boyfriend most of the weekend. It's his 51st b'day on Saturday...so this is my idea. I put together a photo scrapbook for him, of US since we started dating....calling it our journey book...has both of our vacations together, and I will add Chicago. I think he will really like it...I hope so!!
Off work now...so heading home to pack!
xoxo
Lisa
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that sounds great Lisa, have fun in Chi-town.
Lissa, Several women who had the same ps office said that the tattoos were great, but I didn't see them. After I saw what Earleen could do with her artistry and the way my first tattoos turned out I went straight to Earleen to correct what I saw as problem tattoos.
I put two applications in this week, one for a switchboard operator and one for a data entry clerk. I am hoping for an interview for the switchboard operator more than the data entry clerk.
Sheila
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Thanks Sheila! I love Chicago..and of course looking forward to seeing my girl!!!
I wish you all the best..hugs and prayers for a job offer!!
Love to all my girls here. May you all find healing moments and peace!
Off to fun in the big city with my sweetie!!
xoxo
Lisa
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Hello all, been a week or so sense I last logged on, Shelia glad dad seems to be doing better - prayers that continues.
Of coarse life is as busy as ever, even having the children in daycare, although it is helpful for sure, it seems like theres just never enough time - the joys of being a FT 50 year old mom - LOL
Landen is scheduled for surgery for tonsils, adnoids and tubes in his ears on 10/29, I can't believe we have to wait that long, but between the DCF red tape and ENT's schedule thats the next available, his cough is so much worse, and it is not even a cold cough, he looses so much sleep from the constant hacking and gagging at night, and his entire eating habit has changed, while he still eats like a man - he can't tolerate much with any kind of ruff texture. So pasta and PBJ are his all time favorites right now. He will be in the hospital just over night - guess that means I will be too, Ed will have to tend to Ella all by his lonesome for one night -
Lisa enjoy your weekend, so happy for you an Tom.
HAPPY SUNNY DAY WISHES TO ALL - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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Lisa it was great hearing from you. You sound so happy. You remind me of a high school teenager in love. It's awesome. You sound so giddy. I hope your weekend goes well.
Sheila I'm praying for you and your job hunting. I interviewed a guy for our billing position today and I told him I thought he needed to apply for our Billing manager postion. He seems to be a truly awesome person. I told him what I expected of him and if he didn't think he could handle what I needed and wanted him to do, he needed to go ahead and tell me. I smiled real big and said I may not know what you need but I will learn and I certainly don't mind learning. OOOOOO I loved that. I just hope he stands by his words.
Cathi, I'm glad you are doing ok but you may want to see if the doctor can prescribe Rondec for Landen. It will help him sleep but it will stop his cough. It's a strong medication for the little ones and it helps them so much. The pediatricians are carful who they prescribe it for because it does make the child sleepy and they do rest eaasier. So like Benadryl some parents give it so they can rest and not necessarily for the child.
Yes I am almost finished but still worried. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I did when I had my infections. I can't seem to get my energy up and I just want to lay around. I went to the office again today because they wanted me to do the interview then I need to work with the research departement as our surgery center is expanding out into research which is really interesting. I got to work and then they kept coming in and out with lots of things that needed assistance. I no have three more days to take off before October 1, 2010. LOL I can't win for loosing. LOL
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Lisa it was great hearing from you. You sound so happy. You remind me of a high school teenager in love. It's awesome. You sound so giddy. I hope your weekend goes well.
Sheila I'm praying for you and your job hunting. I interviewed a guy for our billing position today and I told him I thought he needed to apply for our Billing manager postion. He seems to be a truly awesome person. I told him what I expected of him and if he didn't think he could handle what I needed and wanted him to do, he needed to go ahead and tell me. I smiled real big and said I may not know what you need but I will learn and I certainly don't mind learning. OOOOOO I loved that. I just hope he stands by his words.
Cathi, I'm glad you are doing ok but you may want to see if the doctor can prescribe Rondec for Landen. It will help him sleep but it will stop his cough. It's a strong medication for the little ones and it helps them so much. The pediatricians are carful who they prescribe it for because it does make the child sleepy and they do rest eaasier. So like Benadryl some parents give it so they can rest and not necessarily for the child.
Yes I am almost finished but still worried. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I did when I had my infections. I can't seem to get my energy up and I just want to lay around. I went to the office again today because they wanted me to do the interview then I need to work with the research departement as our surgery center is expanding out into research which is really interesting. I got to work and then they kept coming in and out with lots of things that needed assistance. I no have three more days to take off before October 1, 2010. LOL I can't win for loosing. LOL
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Lisa, no news, yet. I hope to know before the end of the month, but it might be very close to it.
What to do with a 24 year old child who is angry with you for something, but won't/can't tell you what? My son is harboring a lot of anger from something he says I did (something that embarassed him), but he won't tell me what it was. It happened some time ago, so I suspect even he can't remember what it was. He's just still feeling the emotion.
He was visitng here last week for a couple of days and everything was fine until a few hours before he went home. He got very angry with me and picked a fight. Later, he unfriended me on FB and hasn't returned my phone call.
I've given a blanket apology, but he says because I don't know what I'm apologizing for it's not good enough. But he can't tell me what I did to him (and I have no idea, really). Is this crazy, or what?
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Nancy, sounds like a classic case of separation anxiety. He had to get mad at you so he could leave you (again). You've done what you can, let it go. Has he seen you with your new foobs? Does that embarrass him that you look so good now?
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Barb, I don't think the new boobs are the issue. I was only breastless for 18 months, and it isn't as if I'm going around flaunting the new ones. I think it's more like a series of things, beginning way back with my divorce from his father.
Apparently, his father told him "his" side of the end of our marriage which put the blame on me because my ex felt I didn't love him enough. He told our son I was "cold." That gave him license to have an affair and decide to leave.
Then my son started in on what a terrible parent I was. At least he didn't canonize his father, but still I was the parent who was here 24/7, worked to support him and his sister, and provided him with as much emotional support as I was able to give. But apparently it wasn't enough.
He finally said I wasn't being a good parent to his sister; that I needed to guide her better. I admit, I'm pretty liberal in my ways with her, but she's 19! (letting her sleep over at her boyfriend's; letting her take off a semester from college) but I do have rules that she follows so I'm not that concerned. She mentioned to him that she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her life/career and that started him off on his tirade. So now, I'm supposed to be a career counselor. Nevermind that at my insistance, she's taking some classes through a continuing education program (non-matriculated) in subjects she has an interest in but isn't sure if she has any talent for. Then when she returns to school next year, I hope she'll have a better idea of her major. I can't think of anything more I can do...but he doesn't seem to think it's enough.
In a couple of months, he's moving. Right now, he's only about 30 mintues away, but come November, he has a job offer upstate and will be about three hours away. I've offered my help to get him ready for that (one big obstacle is that he doesn't have a driver's license), but I haven't heard from him since last week. It's just not making any sense that he would say all those things and then reject any help I offer.
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Maybe he's envious of the freedom his sister has? It's easy to be an armchair critic at my computer....I know, I know!
You've done what you can, he may be cutting the apron strings his way. When he grows up he'll realize all you've done....
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Grows up...I can't wait, lol. He has this trick of trying to "gaslight" you during an argument. When he started in on me, I was responding. Admittedly I got a little annoyed with his remarks, but I only started talking faster. He complained that I was yelling at him. I checked my voice level...nope, not yelling...back to the discussion. He complained again that I was yelling at him, only this time my daughter spoke up and said, "No, Mom's not yelling, but you are."
It seems to be his offensive defense when he starts to lose ground. It makes having any kind of rational discussion with him impossible.
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You weren't yelling, you were using your "mommy voice". ALL men think that's yelling!! It is a phenomenon!
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Hey Nancy God knows I have NO WORDS of wisdom is respect to your son, if I were that wise I would not be in the boat I am now - LOL. Just thinking of you , AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KIDS XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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Hi to all my friends. I have been missing, but seem to be so busy. I just got to 12 years post treatment and that is good for all to hear.
Nothing much new, just maybe a new daughter-in-law soon. She is a love and I can't believe at this late date I might have another female in the male family, otherwise, everything is good in my life except hitting 75!!! YIKES!!! Scary.
Gentle hugs, Shirlann
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Congratulations Shiriann !!!!!! ....twelve years is way cool! Hope everything goes well re your prospective new DIL.
Peace, strength, love n hugs. Chrissyb
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Hello all!
Two weeks since my Davinci Hysterectomy.... ouch!
Glad I don't remember much of the past two weeks because it was not fun.
I'm still here, reading and keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs!
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Hi Wren, glad to hear that all went well with your hysto and that you are back and healing.
Peace, strength, love n hugs. chrissy
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I found my hysterectomy the HARDEST surgery to recover from! And I've had a LOT of surgeries. You sound like you're over the worst of it....you done good!
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As a side note: when I went back to the surgeon for my follow-up after my hysterectomy I "complained" that the incision wasn't all that straight. His quick response: "I went to Med school, not art school!" heheheheeee We both laughed so hard the nurse came in to see what was wrong. I mean how funny is that? How many years did he wait until he had the chance to say that!?
What is a Davinci procedure?
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Hi Barbe,
You are right, hyserectomy is harder than the breast surgeries I've had; I think because it affected my ability to sit, walk, stand, pee, etc.. It is just so uncomfortable. Plus, I had sciatica from being in 'that' position for so long during surgery.
The DaVinci surgery is the name of the robot-assisted laparoscopic vaginal hysterectomy procedure. I have five incisions in my abdomen where robot arms were inserted... etc..
I am glad I don't remember much of the first week because it was painful however some women have less pain than I did so who knows?
This is a painful, slow recovery and it's right up there with my bilateral mastectomy and expander placement surgery as far as pain goes--but definitely interferes more with my ability to get around so yea, ouch.
Good to see you--you are lookng good!
Hugs
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Hi Barbe,
You are right, hyserectomy is harder than the breast surgeries I've had; I think because it affected my ability to sit, walk, stand, pee, etc.. It is just so uncomfortable. Plus, I had sciatica from being in 'that' position for so long during surgery.
The DaVinci surgery is the name of the robot-assisted laparoscopic vaginal hysterectomy procedure. I have five incisions in my abdomen where robot arms were inserted... etc..
I am glad I don't remember much of the first week because it was painful however some women have less pain than I did so who knows?
This is a painful, slow recovery and it's right up there with my bilateral mastectomy and expander placement surgery as far as pain goes--but definitely interferes more with my ability to get around so yea, ouch.
Good to see you--you are lookng good!
Hugs
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