Difficulty with work

I feel like I had/have significant chemo brain as well. I finished chemo/rads a little over  year ago and worked through it all as much as possible. I found rads to not be as hard as far as physical recovery- I think I estimated overall the amt of feeling bad was (for me) roughly equal to about a round and half of chemo- the main difference for me was that I didn't feel I could predict when I feel bad- some days I was fine and some days I I just felt horrible despite having rads 5 days a week for 5 weeks.

With chemo at least I knew when I would feel bad- it was a fairly predictable progression with each round and I took roughly a week off work after each round. I didn't take any time off during rads, but I did get sick for about a week right as I finished up. I think I had been just hanging on trying to make it through and once I finally did, my system collapsed and gave into a sinus infection. Now looking back on it all, I kinda wish I had just taken STD through the whole thing and not put myself through so much stress. The chemobrain will get better. I had to write a lot more things down.

Deb, I am just starting chemo, so I can't advise you about chemo brain.....ask me again in a few months!   But I do know that you probably don't need extra stress right now in terms of a demanding boss.  If you can get by on STD, you might want to take it.  That's what I'm planning to do.

Deb,

 I'm so glad you posted.  I'm on STD now from a DIEP reconstruction procedure last Friday, scheduled to return to work in 2 weeks.  Problem - I can't perform my old job due to chemobrain issues.  Prior to chemo, had job w/ long hours, much responsibility, stress, multi-tasking, constantly shifting priorities, much 'urgent' items incoming during the day to juggle/act quickly on.  I did it well....  Worked thru chemo, tho' they worked with me to transition me to a lesser stress job - worked great. Did rads.  Job ended (for everyone on the program) - had to find new one within same company.  Couldn't find one at the lower pace, as that's not my qualifications.  3 weeks ago took new job - was like the old.  Can no longer do it.  Can't think fast. Can't remember multiple things so well...and taking the extra time to take notes and type them up and refer to them...well, I can't get my work done in time needed.  End up working nearly round the clock - early AM, late PM at home to stay caught up.  Physically exhausted me to breakdown point.  Question is - what to do?  How do I convince folks I need a different type job?  How do I educate them that the effects of chemobrain on me are very real?  How do I go about finding one when the only jobs I'm really qualified to do are the ones I can no longer do?  I have 2 weeks to figure it out.

Feel for you Deb - It is so hard to explain whats going on inside your head to people who havent been there. The fact is Cehmobrain does exist and it's clearly disabling or there wouldn't be a forum here. I think the posh name is somthing like Cognitive Dysfunction and it relates to hormone imbalance (middle-age in a week!), brain/drug interactions and Post-Traumatic Stress DIsorder which apparently at least 25% of BC sufferers get. (What, only 25%??) For you, well I think you are a hero to have worked through so far and to be tackling the high stress again. Maybe its time to be kind to yourself and take whatever allowances you are entitled to. From your boss's point of view, well he just doesn't get it does he: but if you were to leave outright, he would just have to get on with a new starter that doesn't know him at all, probably got not half your experience in the field etc. Really would he be better off that way? Really are you worse than a new starter? I,m sure you are not. Now, how to get him to see that.. maybe a few weeks off, with your role filled by a temp with no clue, would help him appreciate you a bit more. You have been through a serious illness, you are entitled to be a bit below for a while! Good luck!

I can empathize.  I went the disability route when I realized that I didn't have either the mental clarity or the ability to multitask that my sales/marketing position required.  In fact, something as simple as someone talking to me when I was doing anything else created overwhelmingly frustration.  But the good news is, 2 years since starting chemo, I feel like I'm 90% back to normal, and have very recently have been able to pick up some of my old business again, which I have the luxury of going back to because it's a commission-only situation.

Interestingly, our CPA, who was dx'd with another type of cancer about a year ago, reports having to step back from his practice due to the same issues (mistake-prone, inability to concentrate, easily frustrated by multiple stimuli) -- and he didn't have chemo, just radiation.  He and I have talked about it, and he theorizes that it's probably due as much to stress as to something chemo is doing to our brains, which makes sense in his case.

There's a great thread here that I think will give you some laughs and make you realize you're not alone!  It's called something like, "You know you're a cancer patient when...," and is full of chemobrain or chemo-tard (love that term!) lapses. 

Good luck whatever you decide to do, and be assured the condition, as frustrating as it is, is almost always temporary.   Deanna

Hi,

Chemo brain is a topic I know quite a bit about (I went through it and I've coauthored a book about it) and I have a blog on it.  Deb and everyone, please feel free to visit my blog where you'll find a lot of information that I think may really help you.  I also have experts in the field of cancer and cognition who write guest blogs and answer questions when followers write in.  In the last few weeks I've started a series about how chemotherapy affects the way we make decisions, multitask, concentrate, retrieve words, and process information.

I think the blog will answer many of your questions.

All the best to everyone.

www.YourBrainAfterChemo.blogspot.com.

Idelle