please help

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010

    Thanks for letting us know you made it through Cathi!

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  • dink
    dink Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2010

    Cathi, I hope you are ok and resting a little tonight.  Just remember even though you have been through all of this and no matter how hard it is, you are showing Amanda what she needs to see and do herself.  It will hit her one day but whether or not she takes advantage of changes she can make to better herself and life for her babies is totally up to her.  God loves you and he has given you the strength you need to show her the right way to go.  I will keep you in my prayers as well as your family. 

    Barb you are really smart.  I think sometimes it's hard to distance yourself from the situation at hand because you have gone throught the same (I'm talking bout me and my daughter).  What you have said bout tough love, I have been trying it aloot lately and both of my children hace taken notice.  I know you were trying to help Cathi through all of her situations but in reality you touched me as well as others and I thank you.

    Leesa

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010
    I am so glad to know my words have touched you Leesa....thank you for letting me know! Laughing
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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited August 2010

    I've been away from these boards for a few weeks because of visitors and then my dh had a week off and we went to stay with a friend who lives in a remote country area who wasn't connected to the internet.

    Cathi, as usual, you have my admiration and support. I feel so sad that you are going through such frightening and stressful time. I'm praying for your whole family.

    Leesa, what a hard time you have had and continue to have with your daughter and her husband. You are doing a wonderful job with your grandchildren, just like Cathi is.

    I think the advice and love and support here is so wonderful. Bless you all.

    Sue, it's so good to see you post again. I'm sorry that your test was positive. You have a lot ahead of you. Everyone here loves and supports you. I'm glad there is an online support group for BRCA women - you are sure to get good information and support there too.

    Sheila, I'm hoping and praying you get the job that is right for you soon.

    Judie - love the t-shirt!

    Nettie - I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Your last H treatment - what mixed emotions that must bring. 

    Karen, I hope you can fully move into your house soon.There is such a lot to do and you must be so sick of not being in one place!

    It's late and I'm yawning. Off to bed.

    Lots of love to everyone,

    Jane oxox

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010
    Hey Karen,  saw your FB post today - I see your having the wonderful TEENAGE TROUBLES - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Been there done that - and seems like I am doing it again - my heart goes out to you.  I didn't wanna post anything on FB to make the tantrums of Portia worse. HANG IN THERE -  It gets better - NO WAIT A MINUTE - WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING  - IT GETS WORSE - LOLYell
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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2010

    In truth, Cathi, it gets better (false sense of security time) and then gets worse.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Oh ancy your right - the little brats get all nice ,  warm,  appreciative and kind for a bit - then they RIP YOUR HEARTS OUT once again - LOL. 

    We finally did something normal today first time in almost 2 months Ed grilled,  had a few friends over,  Jaclyn and family.  Amanda came over for the AM visit with kids 7;30-10:30AM, so that meant Bill had the 3-6PM, but about 2PM  he called my phone and said that they had things they needed to do today before back to work on Monday??????? I am sure it had more to do with being ashamed or uncomfortable,  but we have put life on hold for so long it seems, Alexcis has been saying for weeks ME-MA when are we gonna have fun again on the weekend. Breaks my heart. As always to much food,  the kids had a grand time..  But there was sadness in my heart to have Landen & Ella here without their parents.

    Hope you all have had a glorious weekend & Happy Monday

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

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  • dink
    dink Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2010

    Well, I spent Saturday with my daughter and two of the grandaughter's getting back to school clothes.  This has cost an arm and a leg.  It's ok though because I want them to fit in and not be ashamed, that's one less thing they have to worry bout. 

    Cathi, we bought the twinkle toe shoes also.  They are so ugly they are cute.  I bought the ones that lace uop though because the girsl feet slide in and out of the other ones and leaves blisters on their heels.  They were so excited.

    Well ladies, it looks as though everyone has settled in for the night, I will check in later in the week.  Good night to all

    XOXOXOXOXOX

    Leesa

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  • dink
    dink Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2010

    Hello everyone,  Cathi there is a rainbow after the storm.  KaLee got a call from CPS today and they have closed her case.  The children can go home and stay with her again.  They still like coming to see Mmaw and Poppy but they are full of little smiles.  Now mind you no one from the counseling office has called or come by to check out us or the living arrangements or meet with any of the family since February 23, 2010.  He case has been closed now a counselor with New Hope called KaLee and wanted o know if she was interested in having her and the children come to counselling.  Imafine that!!!!  The counselor was a CPS officer but no longer works there.  he first thing she old KaLee was she wanted to go to the kids schools and speak to childre individually at the school without her or us around.  KaLee told her no that she didn't trust CPS or the school with her kids.  How stupid.  Now not sure how to handle a quieter house.  HaHa

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Hey Leesa heres  saying lots of prayers all works out for everyone,  espically those little ones. I am not even starting to look for a light at the end of our tunnel yet - my DD and SIL are to messed up,  can't even begin to imagine Ella or Landen back in their care 24/7.  We got a letter today from the circuit judge that they have been ordered to pay child support,  thats not gonna make them happy -  I don't know if it comes to us or back to the state for the assistance we receive for the kids,  either way  I don't care -  just a good way to keep them on their toes and be sme sort of accountable for their childrens care -  that is if they pay what ever it is they get ordered to pay - in the almost 2  months the kids have been here that have not even as much as a penny candy - oh well

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010

    Yikes Cathi! Will the kids assume that you requested the child support? That could rock the very rocky boat....sigh.

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited August 2010

    Cathi - I am 110% in favour of them FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING THEIR CHILDREN!!! Also shocked that it hasn't even occured to them ........ Anyway, it'll leave them less disposable income to squander. You are not a doormat or a bank!!!! Or someplace to squat, like they did before. Oh God, would Nettie hare like a word with them!!!!!!

    Leesa, great news! See thats the trajectory you want, the situation to be resolved, not tolerated! You done good girl, you should be proud of yourself!! The bond you will have with the grandies will be so very strong. You are lucky!

    Mammo results in! "WITHIN NORMAL RANGE!" I started physio on Monday and was shocked how badly the muscular myopathy has weakened me. I can only lift my legs 2mm hen depending on the thigh muscles, though near mormal with bent knees. Lots of work to do!! I took a deep breath and bought the top of the range AreoPilates machine. I'll have to find a different way to do things, like I had to after my shoulder injury I suppose. No pain at all (physio said sometimes it can be very sore, so I am lucky)

    Wee Amy's home, got some new piccies, will try to post. She has the sweetest nature, a sleepy, smily wee baby. We just adore her! She still has to be fed partially through a tube, but I am dying to be on  baby sitting duty soon.

    nope, Don't know why it works sometimes and not others.

    Will try later.

    Lots and lots of love to you all, special wished, as always to our wee pal, Cathi. Pic of Brand dressed by his big sis was just great. I laughed out loud!

    Nets xxxx

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Yeah Nettie on the mammo and having Sweet Amy being home  - xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

    Yeah know Barbe they most likely do think that we are asking for child support -  but it is in fact the state who has started that ground work and rightly so as Nettie so very well put it,  not a single penny have they contributed in the almost past 2  months -  it is unfair to the children ( not that they are going without anything) it is once again taking advantage of us,  and frankly unfair to every other tax payer here who is assiting these children with day care health insurance etc. So if the boat  rocks a bit more  - at this point I really don't give a F-  I am so getting over their being immature,  unresponsible and uncaring of these children they brought into the world - IF MAMMA AIN'T HAPPY -  AIN'T NO ONE GONNA BE HAPPY- LOL

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010

    I also like what Nettie said about not leaving them any extra cash for nose candy!!! Good luck on this new adventure.

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  • md_mouse
    md_mouse Member Posts: 99
    edited August 2010

    Congratulations Nettie on your clean mammo.

     mouse

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Ok ladies seriously considering murder or at the very least PUNCHING SOMEONES LIGHTS OUT-  had to take Landen back to Dr's again this AM, he developed a pretty nasty cough again2 days ago,  and is just feeling miserable the last few days,  this AM he woke up - well actually he was up most all night,  with a yucky green drainage in his eyes,  anyway,  has conjunctivitis,  ear infection,  lungs congested and tonsils and adnoids swollen.  Lots of scripts,  and he has to do his inhaler 4 times daily, his history of broncitis has DR a bit concerned espically sense he was sick 2  weeks ago on antibiotic,,  got better now sicker again.  Anyway I am required to report any DR visits out of norm (like shots) to case worker and DD ,  so I did,  I am freakin making my tounge bleed,  SIL calls me and asks IF I PLAN ON STAYING ON TOP OF THIS, and if I think I CAN HANDLE GIVING THE MEDS -  F-OFF A-HOLE, this from a man who hasn't gone to a single DR visit in the past ,  nor I venture to guess has never so much as helped to give his sons inhaler treatments or even tylenol - I have been up for almost 48 hours straight not in a GOOD MOOD, thank goodness they have classes tonigh and won't be around.

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited August 2010

    Cathi, just try to relax, he is trying to push your buttons to get you mad. He should have known you are staying on top of things by taking Landon back to the doctor after two weeks on antibiotics and he wasn't doing better. We know that you are capable of taking care of landon better than the sil. Try to get some rest.

    Sheila

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010
    Cathi, your SIL is in withdrawal (or should be!), you should ask him if he can handle THAT!!! Sealed
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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited August 2010
    amy
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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010

    Oh Nettie! What an absolute doll!!!! Must just break your heart when she has to go home.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Oh Nettie she is a DREAM DOLL,  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    The million $$$$$ question how do I sleep-  even when the opportunity presents itself,  like now Landen and Ella have been asleep for 2 hours,  I can not fall asleep,  I should be asleep on my feet,  but I lay down and BAM,  I can't shut my head off,  a good night I get about 2.-3Hrs.  I don't dare take any sleeping pills,  gotta be ready at a moments notice with babies in the house, And work,  WOW I have made some major errors in that lately -

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2010

    Cathi, there's tons of advice out there on sleep, and I have found very little of it to be helpful. When in the kind of emotional and physical stress you are enduring, insomnia is bound to happen. Here's what works for me. It's against the principles of sleep experts, but it works for me. Take it with a large grain of salt.

    I like to listen to or read books. It keeps my mind focused somewhere besides the stress of the day. I will soon become sleepy. If I am listening to an audio book, I will fall asleep. That means I have no idea where I am in the book, but that's no big deal. I actually set my iPod to turn off in 45 minutes so I don't get too lost. If I am still awake and listening, I just keep listening. Better to keep the brain focused on fantasy than to toss and turn and worry. If I am wide awake, I do some kind of hand work...knit, crochet, whatever, along with listening. Then I feel productive at least. If the problem persists for a few days to the point I'm just not getting enough sleep, I take a sleeping pill. I think you need to put your hubby on baby duty when this happens so you get one night's sleep at least. You can trust him, you know. Take turns when both of you are sleep deprived. So that's my method. It will probably not work for anyone else...I'm so unique! lol

    Nettie, What a lovely wee dainty bundle! Her eyes just reach out and enfold you. She is one special gift that came with a high price tag, but repays in multiples in her own darling way. Thanks for the pic!

    A strange day for me...feeling a bit under the weather and spacey, but at least I'll sleep well tonight!!! (sorry Cathi...wish I could share)

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Thanks Judie,  great advice, I am just so incapable of TURNING of my brain - always have been, Ed does night duty when I let him,  guess I should more,  guess I feel he has to go OUT IN THE WORLD  everyday to work and deal with people face to face so fiqure he needs to look more rested than I  - don't want people thinking he is a SLEEZY USED CAR SALESMAN- LOL.  So as I had mentioned my work has beeen lagging and the economy has also effected things recently  - I got the big call today,  not fired/or laid off,  but a pretty big pay cut of $1140 per month. Even while I completely understand still rather sucks,  but the next few months are normally quite busy for cars,  and I am hoping once Ella is in daycare (looks not to be before 9/23 - no infant opening in Landens school until then) I can focus better and get things picking up again - OH WELL IT IS WHAT IT IS,  what does not kill us makes us stronger - RIGHT?????

    HAPPY WEEKEND ALL  -

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited August 2010

    Cathi

    Your last post just reinforces the fact that THE PARENTS (Amanda and her baggage)  have abrigated their duties. I AM SO FECING ANGRY WITH THEM!  They have put you and Ed in a poor financial position. Sorry, but they OWE you. Your income has tumbled massively, particially due to your health problems, but also due to you being a full time mum to your grandkids.

    Please tell DD and SIL about the impact - your mets, your income, ...  shame them.

    Just to let you know that Lefties are not Softies .... by any stretch!

    Nets xx

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  • Sarnie123
    Sarnie123 Member Posts: 15
    edited August 2010

    Sueps sorry about your news - you are shell-shocked, find out as much as you can, ask if you could have a lumpectomy as I was due to have a mastectomy but another surgeon decided on a lumpectomy, I had stage III ductul invasive carcenoma and had 16 lymph nodes taken out that was 4 years ago.  Also, since then things have improved greatly and they now offer reconstruction straight away.  Keep positive and keep talking xxSarnie

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  • dink
    dink Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2010

    Nettie, the baby is just absolutely gorgeous.  Her eyes are so bright.  She is just beautiful.

    Cathi, I'm really sorry about everything you are going through.  Yes we are now in the poor house, literally in the since of money.  It's ok because I know the kids are taken care and have everything they need.  When Connor's dad would pay, the money was going into a savings account until KaLee had the attorney general's office change the account to her personal account.  I always told her that I had that money there in carse he had an emergency or when he became a teenager and needed a car or even when he got ready for college there would be money there.  He now only has $165.00 in it and she tookthe rest.  I don't know if his dad pays any chilld support now or not but Connor knows he will be taken care of by us and that's all he cares about.

    You should sit down one day and ask Landen if he knows his grandmaw loves him and then ask him how does he know and the answers he will give you will make you see just what you mean to him.  It's great.  I've asked Connor how he knows I love him and he says, "cause you love me, cause you take care of me, cause you buy my stuff and you always come get me from daycare, and because you gave me my own room."  I just cry and laugh because he is so serious.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited August 2010

    Leeze thats great about Conner,  Alexcis (who is now 6) has said similar things like that, right now don't think Landen could express it that well at 2,  but I always tell him ME-NA & PA-PA love him  THIS MUCH and spread my arms way apart  - he always repeats it and smiles.  Alexcis knows I love  her because I always take her shopping for WHAT EVER SHE WANTS, I really don't -LOL not for WHAT EVER SHE WANTS, but I guess at her age it seems like that. We have always been very good about not OVER INDULGING on shopping trips.  Things still are ruff, lots of ups and downs the past week,  to many to go into,  and don't wanna keep boring everyone.  We have had HEAVY HEAVY rain here sense Monday haven't seen the sun in days, a little cool down is nice,  but seems everytime I had to go out  - it was a down pour - not fun nor easy with littlwe ones in toe.

    I did yeesturday manage to get a pedicure and my nails done  - first time in 8 weeks,  I was looking rather shabby -  that is my ME THING -  I cancelled 3 times last week,  my tech thought I was dieing or something. 

    HAPPY HUMP DAY ALL - XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited August 2010

    Oh sisters, I have been so busy with work, sleep...haha( lack of) and spending time with my wonderful Tom, that I have neglected to come here.

    CATHI!!!!!  HUGS TO YOU DEAR SISTER!! You have been through so much. I do think that Barbe's advice, which could be viewed as harsh..is really the best way to go. I am so glad Judie, Nettie, Leesa, Barbe, Sheila and everyone was here to support you when you so desperatly needed it.  It's so very difficult when our adult children make such bad choices. It's heartbreaking.  But you being there for the babies and for you and Ed, is the most important thing right now.  Are you getting money from Amanda and her husband?? You should be!!

    I am so glad you treated yourself to a pedi & manicure yesterday...you needed that.  I pray for you Cathi....I wish that I could be there to help you with the children and give you many, many hugs! Love you Cathi!! Just remember...God is with you...every step of the way.

    Nettie...glad to hear your doing so well!  I love your fiestiness!

    Barbe..the new pic is AWESOME!! Did I already tell you that?  Love, love love the hair!!

    Jane..how are you?  The boys doing ok?  What season are you in now?  Spring?

    My life is pretty much the same.  Some ups and down, but ok.  I just had my mammo...came back good!  I see my surgeon tomorrow. I expect an uneventful visit...except for maybe that dreaded scale!!! I hate being weighed..it just keeps going up!! I gained 4 lbs since last January!! I was so mad....I have been trying...I just think, with the meds and post menopausal...it's impossible.  anybody else feel that way??  Tom tells me not to worry...he LOVES me the way I am! Speaking of Tom...things are still wonderful!!  He is such a great man, good lover...and loves me so much!  I feel it, see it!! I feel the exact same way. Things are sooo different for me!  I really have never experienced this kind of relationship with a man. 

    He brought me dinner after work the other night.  Homemade eggplant parmesian!! It was out of this world!! We spend as much time together as our work schedules allow.

    Back to work sisters....pls know that even when I am not here...you are always in my thoughts and my prayers!

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • dink
    dink Member Posts: 240
    edited August 2010

    Lisa, It's great to hear from you and I'm so happy for you and Tom.  You sound wonderful.

    Cathi,  Proud of you, you hang in there.  Even if you don't think you're doing a good job just look at those smiling little faces and know that you re making a worldof difference.  I'm glad Ef is hanging in here with you, he's truly an awesome guy.

    I know there are alot of things going on with everyone but if any one has a chance, I need some extra prayers.  Going through a few ruff things but I know it will all work out, it always does.  Just please add me and my family to your prayer lists if it's ok.

    Thanks,  Hope everyone has a good week.  We will have all five granchildren/babies this weekend.  We are having a swimming party and an outside picnic then we will be going to open football season ceremonies for Connor on Saturday.

    Love ya all,

    Dink

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