What do you say when people get back in touch with you?

How about "I've been dx'ed with early stage breast cancer and I'm a bit purplexed yet feeling optimistic because it was caught early"  that's sort of what I said.. but you're right Leah, if you haven't heard from them in awhile they probably expect an answer like "I'm fine" but honestly are  you "fine"..  If you don't want to be consoled something like "I'm OK -  just dealing with life" and hope they don't ask any more.. there are many ways to address this and it really does depend on what you might want or need from them.. If it is the DCIS that is muddling your response - and I have to admit I did have my days when I was first dx'ed - you're going to have to figure out what DCIS means to you and then you will feel more confident with your decisions and your interactions with others.. Best, Deirdre

how about 'omg, how wonderful to hear from you!'  then just go on to ask whats been going on in their life, or about mutual friends, etc. 

we seem to be so programed to honestly answer a question, even though that question is just a polite nicety.  i am a firm believer in the polite evasion.  fact is, everyone you love & trust will already know, and anyone else - well, it really isn't any of their business.

Whether they are past acquaintances or family, I have the same reply to all "I'm surviving as usual. How are "you" doing"?  I don't discuss bc with any one unless they are close family and bring it up first because they already found out about it some other time.  I have given instructions to my partner that he is not to discuss it with any one either.  The only people I want to know about it are those who can help me survive it or cope with it.  My physician and you gals basically.  Otherwise, why waste my time listening to people "trying" to make me feel better.  I prefer to go about my life as the person I was before bc entered my life and once outsiders know they seem to treat you in a different way, at least in my case.  I will NOT give bc that power over my life!

I initiated a contact recently by email, and genuinely wanted to hear of the couple's son's college choice, graduation, etc.  It seemed wrong not to mention my own "medical issues," in a reply, but I didn't want to lead off with it.  I constructed something to the effect that I'd been diagnosed, through a bunch of tx, but was feeling much better now.  That's really what folks want to hear, except for those who understand bc, and these weren't close friends.  Sometimes, to how are you, I just say "getting by," or "trudging along," and drop it there.

Medigal, my philosophy on this is the same as yours.  I told people about my diagnosis on a "need to know" basis.  I told only those closest to me whose help I would need and a handful of other friends whose help and support I wanted, and nobody else.  I don't consider any other health issues to be anyone's business, so why should this be? 

I would only make some general comment unless you truly want to tell them your medical history.  I am in the camp of tell only those you want. I have told only two family members and three friends.  That's it and I am totally ok with this approach. 

 I didn't want others feeling sorry for me, didn't want any potential discrimination at work, didn't want to hear about my dentist's/friend's/aunt's/etc....friend of a friend who had this cancer or that cancer, etc.  My SIL has told me several stories that somehow always lead to a situation where in her mind someone should have told about their BC. If she does this one more time, I may have to disown her......

 Best of luck toyou 

NSWTD

I told some people that I was having a "procedure" and would be in the hospital overnight but that I decided not to discuss it with anyone other than immediate family.  Also, I haven't told acquaintances anything at all because I figure it's not their business. So far this has worked for me.  People will respect your privacy.