Starting chemo January 2009?

Jess, hope things work out well.  A few months back when we talked about moving I told DH, I can't leave my Onc.  We settled by deciding I could travel back for appointments.  We didn't end up moving, but I remember how scary it was to think of changing. 

Hello- maybe rsben has good news on another post and has to catch up with us! 

kmmd- are you still in the Ann Arbor area?  I think I may be a regular visitor there this fall. 

Jilly-  Cool on the husband waiting on you.....I think it might be a pipe dream for me, though he does make up a good cup of coffee.

I have decided to go back and talk to the ps about the nipple/tatoo set up.  When I had my exchange and a follow up appt, the PS mentioned maybe I didn't want a nipple......I said I wanted ti, but now as time goes on and I look at my radiated foob and my other breast, I suddenly have doubts.    There is a difference between the two but I am glad I didn't do a bilateral, and I wonder if the tatoo might make the difference all that more obvious.  I suppose no one else will know but me, I am usually covered and you have to look real hard to see how the radiated breast isn't as bouncy, I don't know, I am probably rambling.  I wish I had taken the time then instead of mulling this around in my noggin and now having to make another appt to talk to the guy!  Sheesh!

KT-- that sounds like a good conference.  Gotta feel good

Thanks for all the good wishes on my MRI last Tues. So, my surgeon called last night at 9:45 PM re my MRI and I wasn't home. My husband instead of giving him my cell said I'd be home in 1/2 hr. I was home in 5 min. That was a long 1/2 hour wait!! All ok (whew), but I figured it might be bad news since he didn't leave a specific message--like all's ok! I was SO ANGRY at my poor husband for being such a message ditz. Plus the tech wasn't reassuring after test--wanted me to wait for her to burn a cd but I wanted to leave.

 Anyhow--relief. Now I'm not sure I want to do that again even though the mammo didn't find my original tumors. Forgot about having to be in a dark tube for 40 minutes with my arms over my head face down.

Also had a pelvic yesterday with the Nurse Prac. who found my original lump. I love her and she's known me through all my pregnancies, which included 2 sad miscarriages. I guess all is ok.

Glad to hear the recons & nipple work is going well. KT--you're OLD??? I think I remember you're in the early 50s? (sorry if I'm aging you). I guess if I'm right then I'm old too (54), and sometimes now my body sure feels older! Jilly-Glad the rash is going away.Just what you DON'T need! Being itchy really adds to nerves.Jess--my onc is retiring too. I get a new woman who's been out on maternity leave. It might be nice to have a woman, but I REALLY loved my onc--very kind, thoughtful.

Anyone traveling to Nor. Calif. this summer. Let me know!! I'm just now finding time to think about a trip. I better think fast!

I had my follow up with my PS on Thursday and she is satisified with her work and does not want to see me for a year.  I think I finally feel like I have finished this process.  I have a few more days before I am completely healed but that just means keeping a bandaid and dressing on them and not soaking in water or heavy exercise.  They really look quite natural.  She did a great job, though she told me that changes will happen over time.  They will shrink and fade, but I think they will still look good.  I am suprised at how much a like them given that I was thinking that I might not get them at all (of course I have only looked at them for a few minutes each day as I changed the bandages this week.  All in all my breasts are looking quite good.  No one would realise o quick glance looking at them that they are not natural.  The give away are the scars on the sides, but the nipples seem to distract from those so that you don't notice the scars unless you keep looking at them.  I think DH will be very happy as he really did not like the constant reminder of BC everytime he looked at me naked.  Just that shadow of a thought clouding whatever he would otherwise be thinking. 

But, my PS is going into private practice and I don't know what that will mean for me.  Will my insurance cover follow up work with her?  Will it cost me more?  It will be less convenient as it will no longer be through the hospital I have been going to, and she already moved this year to a satalite building that was less convenient for me (but close to some great discount shops, which made up for it.).  She says she is getting away from breast cancer work, she will do corrections for people but does not want the start to finish work anymore.  She has been doing it for years and is very well regarded but has had enough. 

She told me that, in general, she tells her patients to wait a year for everything to settle before deciding if they want any touch up work.  She also said that after 4-5 years patients often seem to find they want to adjust something.  It seems to be a turning point of some kind.  Given that I don't need mamograms anymore, she expects my implants will last in excess of 20 years and that by age 64 my body may have changed enough that I will want to change them out in some manner anyway.

So thats the poop.

Fun weekend ahead of me.  DS is attempting his first sleep over tonight.  He will go home from camp with this best friend and their old preschool teacher will babysit while the parents go out on the town.  If they kids are asleep when our night is done DS gets to stay the night.  They are sooo excited.  And so are we, the grown ups.  I am assuming even the babysitter is as she gets to spend sometime with her substitute babies.  She is a super devoted teacher who attended most of the kids b-day parties. 

Then on Saturday we are visiting with family and DH will play some golf with is father and brother.  Sunday is up in the air but we will likely go to a town hosted day of festivties and fireworks for the later half of the day.  Monday we are invited to go sailing on a friends boat.  Tuesday DS starts real summer camp. 

Thats where I am. 

Well, I also should admit that I have been worrying about met lately.  It is part of having read about how food and exercise can help or hurt your odds and still not seeming to be able/willing to make the major changes I should.  I do eat a lot of good foods but I snack on sugary things way too much.  I also have not found a way to fit in regular exercise.  Have any of you read the Life over Cancer book but Dr. Block?  It is less readable than AntiCancer, but has similar information and probably more detail.  Very interesting, when I am not fretting over the fact that I am not following his advice. 

OK I need to get some sun (vitamin D) and lunch. 

Have a great 4th everyone.

Yesterday I was done with the bandaids and, for the first time since 2008, had to deal with nipples being noticable through my shirt.  I need thicker bras. 

Ladies, I have great news!  I had my prophy mastectomy a few weeks back and tissue expanders for both sides and the healthy breast was indeed healthy.  Phew.  I didn't think I had cancer in it, but who knows, the other breast was FULL of it.  Best call I've gotten from a doc office in a long time!  I started crying and scared my hubby half to death.  I hung up the phone and burst into tears.  I don't know why, maybe because I wasn't expecting a call and she said 'he went over your path report from the hospital and wanted me to call you' and my heart popped out of my chest and then of course she says 'he wanted to let you know there was no cancer'.   I think they were tears of relief, but not sure lol.  Anyway, wanted to share the news.  Have a great evening Jewels. 

JillyG - Great news.  I think it makes perfect sense to cry at a moment like that.  A emotional release as you finally get news you did not even realize you were waiting for.

Hi ladies. I'm glad to hear everyone is doing well.  Had my 2nd consult with my Dr. on Tues. I'm all set for my reconstruction Aug. 4th. I have an appt. next week for pretesting. Did any of you have to have that done? I gues i have to have bloodwork, a stress test and i don't know what else. I'm getting nervous about the surgery. The Dr. said it would be a 4hr surgery and I would be in the hospital for at least 3 days. More drains I'm told. UGH. I won't be able to drive for about 3 weks. Good thing my daughter has her temps. Shes going to have to drive me to run errands. I'm sure shes going to love that! lol  I've got to get ready for adentist appt. and then I have t pick up my precious litle dog from the vet. She had to have surgery on her other leg and she will be wearing a cone on her head for a few days. She went thru that last year and did not like it. Its been very hot here, in the 90's. Took my girls to the movies and out to lunch yesterday. My DH is in Boston with some friends. They go on basebal trips every year and they chose Boston for the 3rd time. They really like it there and they also like Chicago. they will be home Sat. but I won't see my DH for long because our church picnic is that day. I'm also taking my younger daughter to an Artsfest earlier on Sat. Last year I couldn't go cuz I just had surgery. Well gotta run. Have a great week.

Jess, BTW, where are you?  When are you coming to my neck of the woods?

  Hi Ladies. Its been a very busy week. Dentist appt which went ok but i have had an impacted wisdom tooth since I was young and now its starting to rub on my molar and could cause problems. my dentist knows what I've been thru the last year and said I can wait a few months to have it extracted. Whew! What else is there to go thru?  I'm very lonely this week. My hubby is in Boston til Sat., my younger dd is out finally with some friends. Shes very quiet and shy and trying to get her to hang out with friends is like pulling teeth and my older dd came over today. Shes having issues. She moved out a few weeks ago and she is so irritable, my younger dd doesnt even want to hang out out with her. I'm sure its a big adgustment, but she made the choice. Oh well, life goes on.

Jilly G- I'm having the latissimus flap which is when they take a muscle from my back. The other would have been too much. No tummy tuck for me which I would have loved.  Will also get the expanders done the same day as the surgery, but it will be so nice to finally have a boob on the other side.

I would still love to have a get together with everyone, maybe next year for a weekend? It would be so much fun. I've had such a busy summer. Made up for it since last year. Lets still try for next year sometime. Everyone has been such an inspiration for me, I would love to meet everyone that can get together. Have a great weekend.

chemopause and tamoxifen have done that to me too Renrel.  It was a slim hope, but hanging up that last one has been hard to do.

Renrel- I have an only child and she is faring well.  Not only is she an only, she is the child of older parents.  She has made her own way.  She is independent , can spend hours on her own( something I- a child with many siblings -could/canT do) and is able to focus in on the most amazing and wonderful achievements. Of course I am a very proud and most likely biased parent, but she has done well and continues to do well with her existence as an only child.  When I came to that point where I realized I would never be able to have another child, I did mourn.  That part is the sucky part. 

I am still debating whether or not to have the "nipple" reconstruction for my foob.  I have scheduled to have this done next month, but last week my foob seem to shrink and itch and burn, so I worry there is an infection, cancer has reared its ugly head again in the skin and leftover breast tissue and / or the radiation has made my foob so crooked, there is no way to match my other breast.  I am leaning toward leaving it alone, and hope the late tightness, and itchiness is due to healing tissue from the implant operation in March.  Any input from anyone on this?

I have had the energy to vacation a bit and had a nice time camping with dd.  I read a couple of great books, and am plugging along with exercise and a well needed break.  I went to the beach, lathered up in sun screen over my radiated chest, put up an umbrella, and still managed toget sun burned.  I ate well at great vacation spots in the wonderful state of Michigan, drank a nice glass or two of red wine ( all Michigan) and sat around the fire and told old family stories to dd.  Needed that, need it again. 

hugs all

Hi Jewels, just wanted to mention my husband is walking in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers again this year.  I did it last year when I was 3 months out from chemo but with the TE surgery recovery this year I just can't do it.  We are headed to Calgary tomorrow for the weekend.  The kids and I are going to make some signs up to surprise daddy.  He is walking 60km's in 2 days for ALL OF US!  So proud of him, he's doing it alone since I'm not walking.  He raised over $3200.  Should be a great weekend.  The weekend usually rakes in about $5 million.  It used to be for breast cancer only but they changed it to include all women's cancers.  

Jilly-Please thank your husband for me! Wow--he raised a lot of money, and that's A LOT of walking! I can picture you and your children cheering him on.

Phyllis--I know we've been talking about a group get together. I'd LOVE to. Seems like everyone is finishing recon this year and next year would be perfect (although maybe I'll decide on the recon--was on the fence but now have one foot on the probably not side).

Jess--don't have any nipple input, but good luck. Your camping trip with your dd sounded so nice.

Renrel-hope the yard sale was a success. I felt so nostalgic when I gave away my baby things. I just found a bag of tiny swimsuits that my girls wore, and that seemed so long ago and such happy times.

I got my Lands End mastectomy suit in the mail. Fits nice and I don't think I'll lose my swim poofy. I was a real sight while swimming in the waves at the beach in SoCal last weekend. Holding onto the puffy so it wouldn't get knocked loose. Gads--NEVER pictured myself one-boobed. Oh well. Looking forward to next week. Son is joining us in Kauai--I'm glad. They all really want a nice family trip. I got an antibiotic prescription from my onc in case I have arm issues. At first they said no, but I'll feel more secure knowing it's there.

Anyone ever get a flashback of chemo fatigue?  I really pushed myself the last few weeks and did not get enough sleep and I think I am suffering from so allergies.  I have been feeling like a walking zombie that past few days and it reminds me of chemo fatigie.  I was actually a bit grateful when DS camp called that he did not feel well.  Gave me an excuse to stay home and rest.  Thank goodness we are on vacation next week. Cape Cod here I come!