I have cancer...It is sinking in...uuuggghhh...

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Ondagrow
Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
edited June 2014 in Stage I Breast Cancer
I have cancer...It is sinking in...uuuggghhh...
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  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    I am scared to death.  I was just scheduled to start chemotherapy on August 2, 2010My Medical Oncologist is waiting on BCRA, PET scan results.  He said he would tell me the treatment plans (what drugs going are going to be used and how many rounds) at 8:45 am and then we will begin chemo that morning.  I am scared this is too real.

    Pet Scan is scheduled for tomorrow, Lupron injection Thursday (that injection has the capabilities to shut down my ovaries, and possibly send me into chemical menopause, I am 37) and Port will be inserted on the July 26...Wow...I HAVE CANCER?  Wow...

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2010

    (((((HUGS!)))))

  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited July 2010

    ((((More Hugs))))))

    You can do this and we can help you through.  Stay in touch with all of us!

    XOXOXO

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited July 2010

    awwhhhh so sorry you're going through this.

    Linda's right......you CAN do this and we're here for you!

    Sending more hugs your way!!!!!!! Hang in there!!! You're gonna be ok!

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    Thanks for the hugs ALL...

    Can I do it? It is alot...

  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited July 2010

    Hey sohard, if I can do it so can you!! ((((HUGS))))) and prayers coming at you.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 886
    edited July 2010

    WOW is right...there is nothing about it that isn't mind boggling, but YES...you can do it! It's a whirlwind at first, but once you're into the rhythm of your treatment schedule, it will FLY by. Just keep telling yourself; there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Be gentle with yourself, rest when you need too, stay hydrated, and come here often for support. We're here for you! 

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited July 2010

    YES YOU CAN DO IT...WE ARE WITH YOU..THERE IS A SAFETY IN NUMBERS.THE SISTERS WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU ALL THE TIME.OK GIRLS WE NEED A GROUP HUGGG..STAY STRONG HONEY.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited July 2010

    Hi sohard, you have been on these boards for a while now, long enough to come to understand that anything is possible if you are prepared to put in the effort.  Yes, the effort needed to get through tx is huge but you also have to remember ..... you are not alone.......and you don't have to do this alone. WE are HERE. We are here to support you when you are feeling lonely, we are here to advise you when you have questions but no answers, we are here to give you comfort because you feel so bad both physically and emotionally, we are here to lift your spirits when they begin to flag, we are here, we are here. Already the strength of the women of BCO is standing beside you and we will never leave, not while you have need of us......YOU CAN DO THIS !!!! Remember just ask and we will be here. Love n hugs to sohard. You can do this.  chrissyb

  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited July 2010

    {{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}

    Please keep us posted

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited July 2010

    Sending you big, big hugs and prayers- Like all the others said, you can do it (((((((hugs)))))))))

  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited July 2010

    "Wow" says it all really! But you know, once you start treatment, it becomes so much more manageable-pre treatment nerves are something which most people have.I'm stage 1V and am on tteatment for life (have had 30 months of chemo without a break-so it is possible to do it!)

  • Caroljl
    Caroljl Member Posts: 57
    edited July 2010

    I know how you feel sohardbnme, I was diagnosed June 30th, and yes I went through the WOW WOW feeling too I didn,t know whether to cry, scream, or start throwing things.Well I am a newbie at this, but just wanted to let you know too, you are not alone.

  • Scooter-12
    Scooter-12 Member Posts: 33,398
    edited July 2010

    Things will settle down once your treatment plan is in place.  We've all made it thru chemo and you will too.  Hang in there.   (((((((HUGS))))))

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    Thank you all...for the best wishes and hugs...

    Had Pet Scan done today (scary machine, I am claustophobic lol)...now to wait for result...

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    Carol,

    I had surgery on June 30 th...Wow...I can relate to everything you are feeling...

  • She
    She Member Posts: 503
    edited July 2010

    More {{{Hugs}}} you can do it!

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    I do not have much emotional support...I live alone...I woke up this morning and I was scared to death...I get port in this morning 8:00 am...I am in dis belief, that I actually have to do chemotherapy next Monday...My brain wrap around it for a moment then...uuuggghhh...CAN I DO THIS...UUUGGGHHH...this is really happening to me...I feel like I am drowning...sinking...

  • jlynnbain1031
    jlynnbain1031 Member Posts: 57
    edited July 2010

    i will be starting chemo in august too ! we will stick together and get through this !! hugs to you !!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2010

    You may live alone, but you are not alone. 

    Don't forget to bring a small pillow to tuck between you and the seatbelt to keep it from rubbing in any way on the way home. 

    Oh, and don't forget to get a prescription from the doctor for Emla cream to numb the area before your port is accessed next week.  There is no reason at all to feel any more pain than is necessary during this process.

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited July 2010

    Dear sohard,  I remember being told that the biopsy was positive for cancer and those were the only one's I heard.  I am coming up on my year anniversary now and frequently don't even think of the cancer.  I am now because I am coming up on my one year mammo, US and Mri.  I read on one post some great advice, Don't think about next month, next week, all you have to do is show up for today's treatment. You've come on a great site for info, advice, emotional support, and extremely knowlegabel women.  I still use it almost every day, and stay in contact via email and phone calla with one women I met here.  You are not alone, we are all here for you  Karen

  • Caroljl
    Caroljl Member Posts: 57
    edited July 2010

    Hi Sohardnme, I had my partial mastectomy on July 16th, and I can tell girl, I feel great!! Just knowing that the cancer is gone and not invading my body anymore does the trick. I must admit though I am alittle scared of the chemo treatments that go with all this, are you starting yours now? If you are, fill me in ok.I hope you are feeling better too without much pain. ((((((Hugs to you)))))

  • Kelly48005
    Kelly48005 Member Posts: 5
    edited July 2010

    Hi! My name is Kelly and I to have cancer! I will be having a double mastectomy w/ lymph node dissection, and port place also this Thur. the 29th of July. I am 39 yrs. old. I too am scared.... to say the least. I will be starting chemo at the end of Aug. I think is the plan. I only hear some of what the Doc. tell me.  So much goes in one ear and out the other...... Good Luck! Please kept me posted for this is so new to me as well. Thanks!

    Kelly

  • Caroljl
    Caroljl Member Posts: 57
    edited July 2010

    Hi Kelly, sorry to hear about you and cancer, but you came to the right place for questions to be answered,or just to vent, I am sure glad I did. Just one thing to really say is to make sure if possible, to bring someone with you to your appts, my ex husband comes with me and it s sure great to have a second pair of ears. What you don't hear, that second person will. I think I am going to start chemo in the next couple of wks also.  Keep in touch ok    Carol

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 722
    edited July 2010

    I was diagnosed Dec 21st bilateral mastectomy supposing to be nipple sparing Dec 29th. I was in shock like all of us. I had many many complications and lost both nipples, infections both incisions, and an incision that broke open. 6.5 weeks of two very strong IV antibiotics. But now now 7 months later I have both tissue expanders still in and my exchange surgery scheduled for October 1st.  A long drawn out process but moving foward.   My husband found a wonderful article about the grieving stages you go through after loosing a breast. It was so on target.  The emotions are raw and intense. There is fear, sadness, anger, depression.  Not all at the same time but then sometimes all at the same time. Sometimes more intense than others. I think the key is that we realize these emotions are normal for this life changing experience. It is so important to be gentle with ourselves and realize we are ok if we cry or get angry. The hard part for me was to realize people who said they were going to be there through the bad and good were really only there if I said everything was fine. The moment I wasn't the "perfect" patient and voiced my fear, anger, sadness dismay at changed body they were gone or telling me I shouldn't feel that way. So be selective about who you choose to share with. Make sure they are going to really be there for you.  It is hard but we are able somehow to get through it. My husband and I brought a notebook where we wrote down our questions and their answers and comments because it was too hard to remember it all.  Like all life challenges and grieving times ......... time helps. I hope you will find the support you need and the answers you seek.

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    PATMOM...

    Thank You for all your suggestions...as well as tour kind supportive words...I do not feel so alone...

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited July 2010

    Thanks all for your feedback...I am taking it one second at a time some days...I am up with a heating pad on my neck, from port surgery...I am ready to start chemo...

  • libraylil
    libraylil Member Posts: 528
    edited July 2010

    I agree.  While I am 20 years older than you I was diagnosed with ILC about 2 weeks ago. Feel like I am watching someone else's life unfold. I can forget about C for a few minutes then I remember and the sinking feeling returns.  Let me know how things are going since I will be about 2 weeks  behind you in port etc.

  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited August 2010

    I started chemo yesterday...I just got up...feeling weird, just took nausea medication

  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited August 2010

    Hang in there sweetie!! One step at a time.  Keep taking the nausea memdicaiton--don't let it get ahead of you! xo

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