fingers crossed for faith

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010

    OK.

    Now just sitting here in a puddle of tears.

    Sorta happy tears.

    Tears from feeling cared about.

    Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, support & the links.

    Yes. It is Kinesio Taping that we're starting with. The link is very 'good' and refelcts the art project my "Hunny" created on my chest. Well, I'm a variation, but you get the idea. Sorta. She has literally 'woven' my octopus legs in an elaborate cross hatching creation.

    I LOVE the arm-warmers site -- which has gotten my creative juices flowing.

    Binney. You're right of course, about 'solidarity' for the child who is "different" for whatever reason. I realize what a whimp I am, by not wanting to call yet more attention to myself & this newest chapter of my journey.

    I will aspire to being a better role model. Currently I am just attempting to get to my gigs & then not fall apart in front of my audience (be they children or teachers.) I have a long way to go with the 'acceptance' portion & don't know that I'm capable of holding up to inquisitive minds. Well, not just yet anyhow.

    Maybe if I can sew some polka-dots  as a 'clown-sleeve' cover-me-up, over the flesh wrap, I could at least appear "in costume." I think that would give me some courage.

    Again, I ramble, but thank you again team.

    xx00xx00xx00xx 

    Cookie, my darling. Sending you encouragement, too, as we each sort out the pain & swelling. How very odd indeed that we would both be somewhere on this tangent together????

    Edit begins here:

    Oh, STOP it! I did not just start a new page????

    For Pete's sake!

    Must 'edit' to include picture for top of page.

    Here's what my rainbow looks like these days,

    as seen in the elementary hallway earlier this week, painted by 1st grader:

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited May 2010

    Oh Faith you are just too adorable!......I went and walked the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure here in Arlanta today....I walked in honor and celebration of all my family and all my friends her at BCO......I walked in memory of all our dear sisters and brothers we have lost to this dread beast...We had a Survivor's Walk and they announced all the survivors names who walked and they had a Survivor's Tent serving of all things nothing but CARBS!......Not good for a diabetic LOL....And I also got to get my message out to all in my town...I was interviewed by one of our local TV stations today......How exciting!.......And Faithy I found something that might help in your search for covers for your sleeve!.....They are actually called Sleeve Cover Ups........They come in a variety of scenes from rainbows to roses.....And all in between.....I thought of you when I saw them....I started to buy one for you but unfortunately I didn't know your size so I thought I would tell you about them and let you Google to find your size........I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day tomorrow....I myself must go to work so no fun for me..........

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited May 2010

    Faith, I'm a bit behind here on the boards so just coming in for a quick hi and I do hope you are getting sorted.  It can be such a tough road.

    Gentle hugs.

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited May 2010

    Thinking of you today, dear sister......((((Faith))))

    Hugs and love...Lucy

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited May 2010

    Sending prayers your way Faithie...

    Thought of you when I saw this......sand, water, waves, calm, serene, sunshine, hope for better things to come........here....sit.....relax.....breathe in through the nose--breathe out through your mouth......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

     beachtable.jpg Beach Table image by dsibley999

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010

    Thanks to all of my peeps for the continued cheering.

    I am going for PT 2 or 3 times a week.

    With each visit she starts off by saying, "We are treating you for LE, though we hope this is a temporary situation and can be resolved."

    My shoulder seems to be "thawing" very very gradually & perhaps that will help. I'm still 4 weeks away from my 'second opinion' on the swelling/hardness surrounding my incision (since the infection receeded.)

    This is my first experience with chronic, unrelenting pain. I have an all together higher respect for anyone who must live in constant pain. It errodes and eats into my entire day. I am just barely able to make my 'school visits' and then retreat to my loveseat for the remainder of the day.

    Those of you that are prayer partners, I'd appreciate you calling out this situation specifically. I am very grateful for all "well wishers" and support. Seems like a surprise 2 by 4, outta the blue. Each day I have to work harder to get back to where I ended the day before.

    It's just so very dreadful to feel like I'm going completely in the wrong direction.... and I deplore telling my colleagues what's going on. They are completely clueless & have no idea what to say.

    I gave my mom the absolutely laundered Disney version, so they are at least now aware that I'm not truly 100% back up to speed.

    Well enough about me, but thanks for your continued care and encouragement. I cry a few tears here and there -- when I find something new that is impossible (today it was the attempt to zip up a side zipper on my jumper.) I am asking for help & assistance at every opportunity. People carry my guitar for me, haul everything in & out of buildings etc. I'm not good at asking for help -- but that is the only way that I can possibly continue.

    Rant over. Pity party at the table pictured above. I'll get some goodies. Plenty to share.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited May 2010

    I get it...it sucks. It sucks in a whole different way than the cancer sucks. With surgery I believed the pain would be resolved and could see progress, this is much harder.

    Freakin frozen shoulders...wait till they have shoulder replacements...that will show them!

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited May 2010

    149c88e8.jpg pic from my room image by pinklady812

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((F A I T H I E )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • chrisct
    chrisct Member Posts: 2,662
    edited May 2010

    (((((((((((((FAITH)))))))))))))

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited May 2010

    Always wondering how you are doing Faith.  Gentle hugs.

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited May 2010

    love love love that pic //  i see saint and her sisters in that :)

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited May 2010

    faith, just re-read your last post.  please vent and rant and whine and cry all you want, especially in here.  we care.  we love you.  we wish we could take away your pain, but if we can't, at least we can be good friends and listen and commiserate with you.  as for prayers, you're always in mine.

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010

    I just posted this on the beach-thread, but thought I should paste it here -- for those of you concerned for me, but maybe only reading here:

    Last Monday, I think that I was at my lowest ebb emotionally & physically.

    Today, just one Monday later I feel soooooooo much better: emotionally & physically.

    Honestly having my hubbie back under the same roof is a big portion of the equation. He tells me constantly how much "better" I am than 3 weeks ago, when we were last together. Actually I think that he is correct -- not just blowing smoke to make me happy -- tho that is welcome too.

    When I think back 3 weeks ago, I have to agree.

    I think my shoulder is finally "thawing" and that was a big part of the pain.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited May 2010
  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited May 2010

    ((((((FAITHIE)))))........Thinking of you today........DD fixed my laptop so now I can really post.......Glad you are better......

    Dear Lord, please heal Faith's shoulder and take her pain away.......I know first-hand how much a frozen shoulder hurts and don't wish it on anybody......Lord, please bring Faith through this and bring back her cheerful spirit.......In Jesus' Name...Amen......... 

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Thank you.

    Yesterday at my PT appointment, she measured my shoulder (that's been frozen) and I am 'suddenly' able to move it to 158 degrees. Literally less than a month ago it was at 105 degrees. So that is indeed getting better. Like amazingly better. Like unbelievably better. Like miraculously better. It's not just my imagination. Oh HAPPPPPPPPY day.

    I think that my time this spring with the children & the classes of peeps, and my adoring teachers, all of the million exercises, all of that have no doubt been a huge help...... but I've just gotta believe that it has been the outpouring of support, encouragement, prayers, belief, well wishing, hand holding  here that have held me afloat thru the thick of it all.

    Did I mention how grateful I am?

    THANK YOU!!!!

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

    (I still have quite a ways to go, but I've obviously turned a big corner. My PT was in shock, too.)

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited May 2010

    GIRLS ROCKLaughing

    Hope you're having a wondermous day Faithie!!!

    I just LOVE the little girl on your blog---------Girls Rock !!

    You make alot of little people happy-----big ones tooWink

    (((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited May 2010

    So glad I stopped to read the updates here before shutting down the computer and finishing my packing for dd's wedding.  Never underestimate the power of a bunch of pissed off women who tell God to help one of their own!!!   Hugs all

  • deborye
    deborye Member Posts: 7,002
    edited May 2010

    Praying that you continue to get well from the LE.  I did not know.

    Hugs♥

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited May 2010

    Faith.....So glad you're getting better!......Praying for continued healing......I too had Frozen Shoulder Syndrome after my bilat mast and SND and ALD.......It feels so wonderful when you can finally move your arm and shoulder.........

    Strength and Courage......

    Be well and stay strong....... 

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited June 2010

    Hi faith, hope your shoulder is doing better!

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2010

    My shoulder continues to improve: slowly, but surely. Thanks for asking, Cookiest. 

    It's time for earnest prayers, well wishes and the crossing of fingers.

    This Wed is my first appointment with my "second opinion" BC surgeon. I have been waiting for nearly 7 weeks to get in and I am filled with anticipation..... I am so wanting there to be some answers. My DH keeps trying to get me to wrap my head around the fact that there may not be any answers to have.

    I have plenty of "happy pills" to get me thru till 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday. Actually I've been taking them only very rarely these days.

    I've had lots of ups & lots of crumbling, too.

    My best news is that I have spent the last two weeks making progress in my studio on the illustrations for my next picture book. I now have finished 14 or the 16 quilts needed for a 32 page book.

    I miss Saint like crazy, though I must say I made it through church this morning without any sobbing -- only a very few tears during one song. So that was a first. I still talk to her every day. Especially to keep my grip as this appointment approaches.

    Thanks team.

    xx00xx00xx

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited June 2010

    I will be praying that your second opinion goes well for you, Faith.  Relax, you're in good hands...His.

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited June 2010

    ((((Faith)))).....Praying you second opinion has the answers you are seeking..........Meece is right, though......You are in the best Hands of All......

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited June 2010

    I hope tomorrow's appt. goes well Faith.  It's been a long time coming.  Good luck and gentle hugs.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited June 2010

    Good Luck Faith.

    Hugs

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2010

    Copied from the beach, want all to know this GREAT news!! 

    My 8:30 appointment had a requirement for us to be there at 8:00 this morning, which meant we left home at 7:15. Thru a variety of snaffus around my previous charts arriving to the right office etc., I finally met my new doctor at 10:30. I LOVE her.

    The first & foremost issue for today was to deal with this "knot" of an egg sized protrusion that's along my scar line. My regular PCP described it as 'hard as a brick' when she saw it in April. It has been the source of MUCH of my pain.

    Long story short.......... Dr. Yee did a complete physical exam of the scar line and felt immediately that it was still fluid based. She got out an ENORMOUS syringe and drained off nearly 60 ccs of fluid that was laced with what she described as 'old blood, tho not blood clots."

    They will send that off for review, but she has no reason to be concerned about it. Within 30 seconds I could breathe again. I do mean "literally" breathe again. The knot was so painful that I could just barely take little shallow breaths previously. I'm breathing while I am typing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh happy day!!!!!! The pain along that side of my body dissolved instantly.

    They have asked us to wait in town for 24 hours to see if it stays deflated -- that there's every reason to suspect that fluid will return...... and that this may require a series of visits to resolve completely, draining every couple of weeks to stay on top of it, perhaps. 

    SHE LISTENED TO ME!!!!!!!

    So that huge concern is now under her watchful eye. I want to type this whole message before I sit here and have a good cry.

    Now her thoughts on LE.

    You'll be thrilled to know that OSU takes complete arm measurements prior to every surgery. There is a complete LE facility attatched to her office. She feels that I'm something of an odd duck. (Not what she said exactly but what she meant.)

    She feels that a dx of LE for me is off in the future, if at all, but that we will be watching fastidiously as time unfolds.. She felt that between the frozen shoulder, the cellulitus making a mess of things and this crazy seroma/hemotoma (not certain which this knot/egg thing will ultimately be classified as) that all of that combined into lymph going awry.

    She thinks there is reason for hope that due to catching it sooooo early (thanks to you swell BCO angels) and all the early intervention of PT/kinesio taping/LE exercises/MLD that I may truly be a transient case. That I may be able to get things resolved now that I can actually breathe deeply again. That the lymph may return to more near normal pathways.

    She thinks that time will tell in the long run. She wants me to continue with self-monitoring, wearing the sleeve/gauntlet when doing just about anything, hydrating, MLD -- in essence, all that I have been doing.

    We discussed the fact that theortically we would long be gone for the entire summer to northern WI -- away from heat & humidity by now and that my PT visits have been used for the calendar year. She was comfortable with waiting till we return in Sept to see my over-all status & then appeal to my insurance if it proved necessary.

    So I think technically I still have not been diagnosed with LE. (Craziness: if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck yada yada.) 

    In any case it wasn't that she was the least bit dismissive of LE, or that I had to talk her into it. She laughed and said that LE therapists certainly were capable of making the actual dx.

    I think she honestly believes that mine is going to be very minor/minimal even were it to be finally classified as such, but that she honestly believes that I still have genuine healing that has to unfold from all of this other nonsense & complications, before the definitive answer is given. 

    The fact that she performed a proceedure that allowed me to breathe deeply for the first time in 3 months, probably clouded my judgement in dogging her down to the ground on LE. I literally did hug her.

    I have peeked at my scar line about half a dozen times in the last hour, thinking it/fluid may all be back in there, but it appears to be remaining a very flat tire in appearance.

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH Hallelujah!

    I wanna go jumping from the roof top, but that's probably not in order, so I will just sit at the keyboard and smile from ear-to-ear.

    Thank you dear Team January, for keeping me company thru this whole sordid tale.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited June 2010

    Yea...I am so happy for you.The being heard is the best part!!!

    It is funny we are in the same boat, frozen shoulder, cellulitis, and does-she or doesn't-she LE?

    My WI trip might have to be cancelled if I accept a job offer. Booooo!

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited June 2010

    (((((((((((((FAITH)))))))))))♥

  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited June 2010

    I'm so happy for you Faith.  I can't imagine how you were able to endure the pain.  I had a seroma after my surgery and it hurt like the dickens.  Had to be syringed off.  You poor thing.  Gentlest of hugs.

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