Starting Chemo Feb 2010?

Thanks Writer. I feel like celebrating today...but I'll be wiped out proably by Friday afternoon. The HER thing scares me and bums me out. I just wish after going through all this crap that I was given better odds than 80%.

Thank you, Mo. You are right..just keep truding along as if everything is going to be just fine IS the way to go! I just got a pool installed...I gotta be around to enjoy it til the warranty wears off, AT LEAST!! 

Yes, the wispy, baby, colorless, sort-of-hair! What's up with that! My hair stylist friend has helped many clients through this, and she advises keeping it trimmed, because it's not the real thing. So I'm going to stop in there and have her do that. It's pretty creepy.

As for sex, I haven't had much interest but don't want it to go away and have been more concerned that my husband seems to have lost all interest. I'm sure he's a little freaked out by my situation, and it's true that I've only felt really good about a week or so a month. Hopefully things will improve now that chemo is done.

Beth-I too get freaked out about the Her2 as well.  I, like Mo, have read such great things about Herceptin, so,I really try and focus on that.  Also, I just started some counseling to deal with that issue as well as just dealing with the  nightmare of the last 5 months. I want to learn how to live my life without the fear of reoccurance.  This counselor I met with is one whom my onc recommended.  So she is very familiar with cancer survivors.  So, I am hoping that this will help too.   

As for sex, it isn't one of my top priorities, and hoping that it will get better.  I am sure hubby is hoping the same

Hope that everyone is doing well and feeling good.

V

I think I'm starting to get some hair on my head...or at least something that may pass as hair. It's that weird clear stuff that we all are apparently getting or gonna get. It;s about 1/4 inch long and looks like fishing wire lol. Its so colorless that of course I still look bald so still wearing my headwraps. My son graduated from high school yesterday and after the ceremony, a woman that  I've never seen before came over and gave me a big hug and wished me well. I could tell by HER short "do" that she also is a BC survivor. She said that she was one month out of treatment, and she had about an inch of gray (not colorless) hair, and she looked good! I am almost a month out of chemo and my hair isn't anywhere close to that. Some day......anyway it was very sweet of her to touch base with me.

26 more rads treatments to go, and feeling fine. Just some achiness in my legs that may be due to the Tamoxifen, i don't know. Not anywhere close to the Taxol bone pain, so i'll deal. I've gotten really good at outlining my eyes with liquid eyeliner so unless you look really close, you can't tell about the missing lashes.Actually I still have a decent amount on top, but like nothing left on the bottom. All my nails (fingers and toes) are still present and accounted for though, so I guess I am keeping them. 

Wishing all a great weekend!!   

Burley:  I'm so sorry the bone pain has hit harder this time.  Hate that neck pain.  I can imagine the AZ heat this time of year.  We just got to 85 today and got a cool spell tonight; and you are probably at over 100 down there.  Can someone take the kids for you during the day so you can have a break?  Call in whatever markers you have.  Thinking of you.

burley--my onc put me on neurontin too & the sleepiness only lasted for a few days until i got use to it.  i only take it twice a day though.

this last treatment went a bit better thanks to the vicodin.  still hurt all weekend & even still a bit.  also feel like i'm getting the neuropathy in hands & feet.  am seeing the onc tomorrow - so will be discussing that.

watching all of you across the country getting warmer temps than we are blessed with here in the nw.  it has been like this all winter-overcast, gray, drizzle....so sick of it.  maybe i'll move to arizona.

Ok, I am freaking out a bit!  My surgeon said that I should have an MRI before rads, so I did, and wouldn't you know it throws off a 4mm somthing close to my surgical site and ultrasound can't pick it up...so my Dr.'s are discussing to biopsy it or just start my rads and check again in 6 months!!  If I biopsy it, I won't be able to fit rads in before my BIG vacation!  My gut is telling me it isn't anything after going through Chemo...and if it is anything the rads may knock it out....At the moment I am wishing I had a mastectomy!  The MRI guided biopsy was one of my worst experiences thus far, even over chemo SE's.

Congrats to those finishing Chemo!!!  I am a month out from my last TX and I have definite signs of dark hair growth on my head and I am amazed at how much energy I have.  My big toe though went to sleep about 2 weeks after my last TX, neuropathy I guess.

Take care ladies!

Leta

leta- all of my toes went to sleep for a whole week on Taxol week 5 for me.  Oncs were not happy and almost reduced the dose- but now they are back to normal again.- I don't know if it helped or not, but it seemed like my short morning walks improved the feeling in my toes.

Good to hear from you, Mo (and everyone else.)  I'm sure the news will be an "all clear" and you're free to start radiation-yippee, right?

I went fron lack of appetite and losing weight, to eating all the time because I'm trying to taste something.  My raw tongue and lack of taste buds is a close tie to my hot flashes for most annoying side effect.  I expected the hair loss, but come on!  Not being able to taste food?  This truly sucks.  I can only truly taste really spicy or pungent stuff, or really sweet.  Had an egg salad sandwich for lunch and literally didn't taste a thing.  My brother is bringing me dinner tonight and I'm hoping for something spicy!   But beggars can't be choosers.

No neuropathy for me at all-I heard the Taxotere is better than Taxol in that department.

I would definitely classify myself as a weary soldier!  Besides being tired in general, I'm just plain tired of all this crap.

My husband has been offered an actual job with a good company, but for way less than he's worth.  It would be a serious struggle for us to make it on the pay they've offered, but there's a lot of plusses to it as well.  Like he would actually come home at night, instead of 1am every day.  He leaves in the morning while I'm still in bed, and comes home and I'm back in bed.  It would be a no-brainer to take the job if I was working--with 2 incomes we could make it on what they're offering.  But I can't see myself getting an actual job until all my surgeries are over...so like, the end of the year!  I feel guilty for not being able to work.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.  Humpf.  Like I said, I'm sick of this crap!

kshep:  I understand your misgivings about leaving the 16 year old.  We have a 15 year old Golden.  Last fall, I lost my female Lab, and we've had to make that painful decision concerning other wonderful companions, too.  My "heart dog" passed away several years ago, and I still wish she were here during all this junk.  The joy they bring is immeasurable.  It's good you have a snuggler.  I tried many times tonight to get my pup to settle on the bed with me to no avail.  No offense to the cat lovers out there, but in my mind, having a dog lay his head on you is the supreme comfort (yeah, I like spooning with my DH, but he's a dog lover, too, and understands).

Don't give up hope about the taste buds.  I used to drink Coke, and it's icky to me now, but other tastes have returned.  Teriyaki salmon tonight with lots of fresh ginger, yum.  I got into the water-drinking habit during chemo.

Good to hear from you Mo & Burley.  Hang in there (like you have a choice, right?).  

It has taken me 12 days to recover from number 5, the worst yet. I did have Emend for the first time and that took care of the sickness and nausea which has plagued me throughout but the fatigue and general " unwellness" was horrible. I have lost my taste this time and have been suffering with pain in the bones in my face. The glands in my neck have been painful but by far the worst are the hot flushes.  They occur at regular intervals all night and I have forgotten what a good nights sleep is. I bought a Chillow Pillow on the internet which is very good and actually stays cold for a long time and does re-cool on its own quite quickly. I also have a hand fan and an electric one. I hear that the flushes are with me for a long time while I take tamoxifen from next month. 6th one next Thursday and then Herceptin which also frightens me. I think the term weary soldiers is briliant.

retrievermom thank goodness for our Goldens. I have two boys. My previous boy slept on the corner of our bed for 6 years and I loved it.

 Kshep, my boys are 11 and 12, one is deaf, nearly blind and very confused at times so I think I will have decision to make soon. Horrible isn't it.  Good luck weary soldiers not long to go now. What a journey!

It's awesome so many of us are animal lovers!  I truly think they help in times like these.  It's nice to have someone who is always happy to see you, always welcomes attention and gives it back, someone to snuggle with.  I personally have 4 dogs and 3 cats, so there's always someone in bed with me.  And my dog is really in tune with what I'm going through.  He's constantly checking up on me in bed, as he's huge and the perfect height to put his nose right in my face while I'm sleeping.  Ha!

I'll wait until I'm completely done, then probably shave the fine hairs.  We'll see how many of them fall out with these last 2 treatments.  I've lost a lot more eyelashes over the last few weeks, so I'm wearing my glasses a lot to hide the fact that my eyes look terrible!  Really dark circles around my eyes too.  When I'm bald and makeup free, I definitely look like a chemo patient.

Hi ladies, fellow travelers.  Just finished my last infusin (neulasta tomorrow). And, oh joy, a blood transfusion on saturday, which sort of explains the increased fatigue (I had chalked it up to cumulative SEs).  Have a good attitude; my DH went with me and we walked into hospital this morning hand in hand vowing to kick some cancer ass today.  He's been such a cheerleader, am very lucky.  But have to say tho, after #5, was a longer rebound (but like the emend they gave me finally at #5), last of my eyelashes are falling out and my nails look like hell.  They didn't offer the icing thing, and I didn't think to ask, is there anything besides taking glutamine and vit B now?

Some of my hair is still hanging in, not much at all mind you, but enough that I don't feel like a total freak wearing a ballcap outside the house as there is some strands in the back which makes me look like I have thin but very short hair.  Not sure if it's going to fall out or what. I'm not very curious about this gray or transulcent stubble everyone is talking about.  If we don't shave it down, does hairdresser think it will grow in slower? Hmm. 

So many questions.  Just when you think you got some semblance of a clue going through multiple rounds of chemo, now this hair business.  (And surgery then rads for me... but I'll cross those bridges after I get through next week!)  Thanks for the kind words and feedback...

My dog is a 17 yr old Sheppard mix, she has trouble walking and needs to be helped up at times, esp with stairs. But she doesn't seem to be in any discomfort (the one in discomfort would be me since I am the one picking her up).  As long as she seems happy and essentially pain-free, I don't have the heart to put her down. I also have 3 cats, one of whom sleeps with me. My son talked me into adopting a kitten a few weeks ago and he is just the sweetest, most affectionate thing. I don't know what I would do without my furry family.

Feeling really pretty good! I am a month out of chemo. Food tastes great, and so far I am trying really hard to keep the weight off that I lost with chemo. So far so good, even with the Tamoxifen. I now NO eyebrows at all--so now I have a look of perpetual surprise.  Funny weird baby chicken hair on my head, and I know its not real hair and I should probably have it shaved off but I can't help running my hands over it and feeling like I have something growing there. No hair anywhere else, and lashes are still falling out. Neuropathy has not changed, still there, its worse in my feet and in the evening I just cannot get comfortable. No real hot flashes to speak of though, I mean I get where I think, wow its warm in here, but that is about it (so far). Been on Tamoxifen for about 10 days now so not sure if that will make it worse.Rads is going well, I am about 1/3 done with no SE's that I can ascertain. I don't even feel tired yet. Or maybe I am still so tired from the chemo that I can't tell the difference.

Leta--wow, sorry to hear about your 4mm something, I am sure it is nothing, but you think after all this chemo we wouldn't have to worry about anything. Writer--same also about the red spot near your surgery. It's awful how we have to worry (a little) about everything.  Mo--same to you, good luck on your path report, again, I am sure its nothing but I remember how freaked I was when I had to have another biopsy. Burley--I hope you feel better, esp with the hot flashes AND living in AZ. . It just seems like our problems will never end.....hot flashes, abnormal test results, unknown lumps, fatigue, bone pain, repeat surgeries, hair loss, GI problems, sigh....

OK, enough whining (and I really have little to whine about compared to what some of you are still going thru!)  Hang in there, and wishing all my chemo sisters a SE weekend. Take care!