Do you worry that "the cure" is coming but to late for you?

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JudyO
JudyO Member Posts: 225
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I am on this sight and others daily, mostly reading research news and success stories. I think in the not to far off future they will be able to control this disease and/or have a cure. I see encouragement that many stage 4 even now go on for many years. My problem lately I go to sleep at night and dream that I just miss this...my family is talking about how sad it is that I couldn't have made it just a little longer.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    I do know how you feel.  I mean, I am SO excited that we are this -- close to having a vaccine to prevent this disease!!  My little girl will never have to suffer through this nightmare!  Thank God!  But, yes, I'm a little disappointed that I missed out on it. 

    With that said, I haven't given up hope for ANY of us yet!  Who knows what tomorrows studies might show!  :)

    Sorry about your dreams.  That has to be hard.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited June 2010
  • helena67
    helena67 Member Posts: 357
    edited June 2010

    Hi JudyO,

    Just wanted to say hello. I know you worry (so do I) but life is moving right along anyway. I don't know what to say really - you are not alone in feeling this way. I try hard to enjoy life though. 

    Very best & take care you all).

    Helena.

  • jdootoo
    jdootoo Member Posts: 253
    edited June 2010

    When I read the article in the paper yesterday, I was under the impression that the vaccine may be helpfull in preventing recurrences as well. If this is true, I am going to ask my oncologist if I can get in on the clinical trial.

    One Love...  Jackie

  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited June 2010

    Well said. I get weary of reading of "cures"-I used to get excited, thinking,"this may be the breakthrough we're waiting for". But realistically we are years (decades?) away from a cure. Granted there have been huge strides forward with the targetted therapies -so progress is being made. But I doubt this "cure" will benefit any of today's patients. I'm hopeful that it may help future generations-and for that I'm grateful.So often we've seen many people get excited/raise their hopes-without actually understanding the logistics of these developments. I don't claim to understand them either-which is why I very rarely offer an opinion.

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010

    Is there anything wrong with Hope? With getting our hopes up? Without it we have nothing!

  • ElaineD
    ElaineD Member Posts: 2,265
    edited June 2010

    Nothing wrong with it at all Pure! I am filled with hope-but I temper it with realism too. I often hear the phrase, "without hope we have nothing"-is this treally true? Is acceptance of our illnesses such a bad thing? I actually found it incredibly liberating to accept what is happening to me-to face and deal with the reality of our situation at any given time, can be as positive a way forward as hoping that a cure will be found which will work for us. Positivitiy and hope can work in different ways-and can even give a degree of control over our lives (ie, "I will not allow the cancer to dominate my life,")

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010

    I choose hope!~

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    It is important to have hope.  My thoughts are on a scripture in the Bible that says "Hope deferrred makes the heart sick, and the fulfillment of hope is a tree of life"  Proverbs 13:12

    image

    Barb

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010
    Anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight.

    Lance Armstrong
  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited June 2010
  • Frankie_
    Frankie_ Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2010
    I was just thinking the other day...if something should become available it may be too late for me because I have bc already but would be glad for others but sorry for me. I battle over having hope and reality! Sorry if I sound negative! It's one of those days Undecided
  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited June 2010

    I don't think you're being negative at all, Frankie.  You're HUMAN.  I, personally, don't buy into the idea that anything is possible if you just try hard enough.  It's simply not true.

    Our cancers are frightening and we have to face reality, at least as far as seeking treatment, keeping appointments, and modifying our lifestyles as necessary.  On the other hand, having hope and being positive help us enjoy today, and that's important, too. 

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010

    Frankie don't you already have hope?Your stage 3-you can be cured. You have a TON of hope. With surgery alone you could have been cured. I bet a lot of stage 4 women would like that type of hope.

    Look at what happen with testicular cancer- literally overnight they came up with a cure for stage 4 patients. If it can happen there it can happen for breast cancer.

    Anyway I can see I am annoying everyone-I will go back to my hopeless depressing posts:) People like me better then.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited June 2010

    not

    you're wonderful Jen

  • Frankie_
    Frankie_ Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2010

    Stage 3 or 4??? Clinically on paper Stage 3 BUT I am trying to determine one way or another. You see from the get go I have created threads or joined in on threads re: bone mets. From my first staging tests/scans we have been chasing one scan from another with inconsistencies. My profile page tells my story to date.

    Oct 21/09 -Original bone scan-I was told by my surgeon -That it was CLEAN but my report goes to cancer center-Onc's review it and tells me there's a "questionable" spot on my 7th left anterior rib. Says it's a subtle sclerotic focu. -Otherwords, not sure if it's cancerous or a previous fracture scar. Onc thinks it's a previous fracture scar.

    Nov 19/09 -CT Scan neck/chest/abdomen. Same "questionable" spot on the 7th left rib shows PLUS  another sclerotic lesion was found in the right S1 pedicle. So Onc ordered a MRI -for the S1 (spot) it was determined to be a bone island -NOT cancer.

    So I have often wondered and worried over this "questionable spot: on my 7th left rib??? Is it really a previous fracture scar? So fast forward...right before my rads were to start my Rad Onc ordered a chest CT Scan (April 9th) and guess what 2 new "questionable" spots on my T5 & T11 (spine) showed uptake that was NOT there on my initial staging scans (see above). These findings were listed as "vague" WTH? So my rads were put on "hold" because my Onc's (Rad & Medical) ordered a bone scan (April 26th) to follow-up with the CT Scan and guess what -CLEAN. So rads were back on the table-now in treatment. On May 3rd when I met with Onc and questioned him about the inconsistencies I was told that we would have to repeat these scans 3-4 months to see if any changes are noted. Plus he said that either one of the tests could have been a "false negative" or a "false positive". I am so frustrated, beaten down because I still have NO conclusive answers where I am I with this fricken disease. I'm scared. My Onc thinks I remain a Stage 3er but how does he really know??? Scared and trying to remain hopeful Pure!

    Is anyone else out there going through the same thing???

    Frankie

  • Frankie_
    Frankie_ Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2010

    Pure -Your'e not annoying!!! If it weren't for my present situation I would likely not be so frustrated and I could get on with my life a little better and of course have more HOPE!!! Just living in the unknown right now. Wish I had more answers and recovering from a melt down yesterday at my Onc's office because he has no further answers at this time. My hubby thinks I am making a bigger deal out of this-I dunno maybe he's right.

    Sorry again everyone for being so down and negative. 

    Frankie

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010

    I have never had that situation but in reading what you wrote it does sound like nothing. How does your oncologist know? Well he works with these situations and tests daily sooo. With that said can they biopsy any of the areas? Would that make you feel better? I would explain to your oncologist how unsure you are and ask if there is ANYTHING they could do.

    When I had my ct/chest done they found 2 spots one was 2mm and 3mm. They never told me about them-I found them in my report like 4 months later. So I called my doc freaking out and she says  that the radiologist wouldn't have even mentioned those spots if I had not had bc before. She said they were nothing. Didn't he say I needed to follow up.  So I don't know-they are trained to know these things. And I just accepted it was ok.

    Why do they wait 3 months to repeat the scans? What is happening in those 2 months? I take it no more tx and I take it your not doing hormonals so what would change? Maybe if they got bigger?  They can't biopsy?

    Did they don contrast when the did the ct for radiation?

  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited June 2010

    It's all in how you look at it and what you need to get through.

    I have a friend who believes she is healed and that allows her to live a very normal, fear free (for the most part) life. 

    I have another friend who is constantly afraid of recurrence.

    I have a friend that is stage 4 who lives life more fully and with more joy than most people I know with or without cancer. I don't know if she has hope but she has joy.

    When my brother in law was dying - he had hope until his last breath - it got him through.

    Very individual and whatever you feel is fine - whatever gets you through.

  • Frankie_
    Frankie_ Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2010

    Elaine-Very well put (I think it's a mind-set-Attitude is EVERYTHING!)

    Pure- Because these "questionable" spots were brought to my attention by my Onc I felt that it must be significant. I had'nt just read about them in a report. Plus my rads were put on "hold" for further investigation. I felt some relief that my rads were put back on the table and I was able to resume with treatment after my bone scan, but was told by my Rad Onc that because of my age they wanted to ensure that I received the necessary treatment. 

    They did contrast for the Chest CT Scan.

    In Canada it is not standard to use a PET/CT or use 18F-Sodium Floride (Na18f) contrast for Bone Scans. The contrast that is used is technetium-99m (99mTc) -which is a less expensive but not as highly sensitive as Na18f.

    Yesterday, I brought to my Onc's attention about a clinical trail (funny) I had to bring it up to him. I go on clinicaltrail.gov to keep myself inform of treatment options regarding trails new meds, etc. I came across a trail #NCT00686465 PET/CT for the diagnosis of Recurrent Cancer: a Feasibiliity Study (PETREC) and #NCT00922519 18F-Sodium Floride (Na18F) whole Body PET Scan for Imaging Bone. As I have not had either (being in Canada). I know a lot of girls here (in the States) talk about these types of scans. I brought this up to him as I thought it might be beneficial to try these scans and perhaps find conclusive answers. I know that not all scans are accurate-including these that are used in the States. I was grasping this is why I presented these to him and because they are actually happening at my cancer center (go figure). Anyways, he explained to me that things in the medical field are NOT always 'black & white" and that often things fall in the grey area. He said that even if I participated in these 2 trails (diagnostic scans) that I may still not get specific answers. He goes on to say: If the results were:

    Negative:

    1) it could be because there really is no cancer or

    2) because I have undergone systemic therapy (chemo) and still am undergoing treatment herceptin it is suggested that 'osteoltic bone mets may become osteoblastic after effective treatment. Meaning that there could have been cancer but will now show up on a scan as 'healed". -So other words, not showing a "true mets".

    Positive:

    1) it could be a true bone mets or

    2) show up as "something questionable" but not in fact be bone mets (i.e degenerative changes that are benign-bone islands, arthritis, etc.)

    As you can see things can be in the grey area and not be definitive. Guess, this is my case.

    I told him that I would think about what he has said and I will get back to him if I still want to do the scans (trails). The reason he said that he wanted to wait 3 months is that he would prefer not to expose me to more radiation (scans) being let's wait...and not chase things with further scans-unnessary.

    He actually brought up the discussion about the bone biopsy and said that he was not sure if he could find a surgeon who would be willing to do one because of the above variables ( See ABOVE) as a biopsy would apply the same. It kinda made sense to me -although I was crying, numb and listening-zoning in and out (albeit) at the time of our conversation.

    Any thoughts??? appreciated!

    Frankie

  • Frankie_
    Frankie_ Member Posts: 422
    edited June 2010

    I don't mean to take over this thread/topic!

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited June 2010

    I would post this as a tread. I am sure someone else has been through something very similar could share there experience. It does sound like nothing though or I would assume they would push for more tests of a biopsy. They wouldn't risk your health like that.

    Start a thread though so you can get some peace of mind or support from someone who has gone through this.

  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited June 2010

    When I was first diagnosed I was terrified.....everything I read told me I was going to die....and soon.  I would have good days but then I would spiral down to a very dark place.  It was hard because as a mother and a wife I knew I had to be stronger.
     
    I read a post on a breast cancer website from a woman that was coming up on six years....she felt that being ER+ that this was the year that she was at great risk to reoccur. She commented in the post that she had been frozen the last six years just thinking about year 6.  She had put her whole life on hold waiting in fear of what she thought was the inevitable.
     
    I read that post and thought...."wow....this could be me if I didn't think about things differently". This post just stuck with me hard.
     
     I chose hope.  I chose to believe that I would make it five years and then there would be something new that would get me the next five and so on.  I had to "believe" that holding onto hope would get me where I needed to be. 
     
    Here I am six years...... I am humbled by my blessings and know that things could change at any moment.  I just want to believe that I can hold on long enough ------and am glad I didn't waste six years worrying but rather enjoyed my life with my beautiful children and soul mate.
     
    Jacqueline 
  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited June 2010

    Yeah, I'm glad they're close, really glad.  It did make me sad though, when I read about the possible future vaccine, and wished they'd found one a very long time ago.  I don't think we'd be human if we didn't wish it had been there for us.  I don't really think about it unless I happen to be reading about the new research, though.  I hope your dreams stop soon - that has to be hard.

  • dharmamama
    dharmamama Member Posts: 138
    edited June 2010

    Elaine, I whole heartedly agree with you about acceptance and hope. For me, just accepting that I don't KNOW what will happen is more comforting than hanging onto hope. A vaccine would be awesome..who knows???

  • blondie45
    blondie45 Member Posts: 580
    edited June 2010

    Just my opinion but after seeing how fast herceptin moved once they realized what it could do I think the vaccine would move as fast as possible also if it turns out to be what they are hoping, even though some drug companies may try to do what they could to stop that from happening.

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