Starting Chemo April 2009

Happy Birthday Betsy! Hope you have a wonderful day and terrific year!

Geri - loved your posting! How are you doing?

Titan - as always, I am grinning after reading your post : )

I am in Maryland, very hot and humid here!

Amy - please stop by to say hello and let us know that you are ok and taking deep breaths...

Hugs to you all and anyone I may have not mentioned.

Judy xxx

I am doing ok. Started to falter yesterday and cried last night and felt pretty bad today, so I called the nurse practitioner (at my OB/GYN's ofce) who ordered the MRI to ask some questions about it. She called me back FAST (they really respond quickly once you've had cancer!). She said that there is a 3cm (mm?) cyst noticeable on my ovary and it is not completely contiguous (partially attached, I think) which means there is risk of a torsion (twist) developing which can be painful. that is primarily what they are looking at.  I said "Look let's just cut to the important question - am I going to have ovarian cancer and die?" and she said highly unlikely, that they always keep an eye out for tumors but this does not look like that. She said that after the MRI, they will either not do anything, schedule another u/s for 6-8 weeks to be sure the cyst has 'resolved', or perhaps bring me in to meet w the doctor to discuss my options (which I take to mean maybe removing ovaries?). 
So it's not as bad as i was worried about.

SO WHY DON"T I FEEL BETTER?  I guess it will take some time.

Thank you all for all your support. It means more than I can say.

Amy 

Amy...look at that hair!  Woo Hoo!  You look good..but not the Amy we are used to seeing..now we will have to get used to seeing you this way...I need to put a new picture up..hopefully soon.

And about not feeling better, it is weird, every time I go to the doctor and they say I'm fine I leave and I still don't feel quite right....I think that..good news or not..we still have to deal with this crap...

I wish so bad..that all the doctors made a mistake and could say..oops..sorry to put you through all this shit but we made a mistake...I think that is what we would like to hear but it ain't gonna happen..dang it..

Geri -I think picking a weekend a year out sounds fun. I say we shoot for April 2011 since we are after all the April Chemo group. How about April 1, 2011? Just an idea...it's an easy date to remember. Lord knows we need all the help we can get. I'm fine traveling to the EC. I've never been to NY. After Chelev's make over last year it sounds fun. 

Amy -wow look at all that hair. I got mine cut a few weeks ago, pretty short and a lot of the curls were cut off.  They still haven't touched my bangs, they are still to short for my liking. But hey...it's hair. Remember where we were last year.

You have a right to freak out, waiting and worrying is hard. We've been through a lot and our bodies are still not healed from the abuse of last year. I know I was getting very down before the dx of my LE and RIF. I just kept waiting for something else bad to happen. I hope you hear good news tomorrow. Sending a HUG.

We had a wonderful early spring this year. It's been raining non-stop for the past two weeks and it turned cold again. I've pulled my summer clothes out only to switch back to winter clothes. Crazy weather!

Thanks for the B-day wishes. I feel good which is the best gift. My dh sent a big flower bouquet to my office. It was very sweet.

Judy- Are you taking anything for the heartburn? Maybe until it's totally healed you s/b. Sorry to hear it flares up now and again for you. I know how painful it is.

Hey has anyone heard from Dawn? Here's a shout out to her!

Hi Geri ~ Yes, I'm in Baltimore, MD.  I would love for us to plan a get-together, and am willing to travel.  Someone should plan this!  LOL!!!

I can do Baltimore..not a bad drive at all..but I can probably get a cheap flight there too...It would be awesome to see all of you...Now..we just have to get the Oregon "duck" here...hope she has strong wings!

Just got back.  Got to the place at 11:30 (which is when my appt was). Sat for AN HOUR and finally asked if it would be soon. they said that the man before me 'had some trouble in the machine' and it would be another 45 minutes.  So I gave them my number and left, did a quick errand, got back, and it was another 15 min to wait.  I was originally pretty upset and stressed by the delay but by that point, I was past caring.  The tech did tell me that they do a reading today and if they find 'anything really bad' they call my doctor immediately. So if I dont' hear anything today, i dont have to worry all weekend. But who knows if my doctor's office is even still there at this point (Fri afternoon before a holiday) so I am not sure I would get a message from them anyway.

The procedure wasn't pleasant, but not terrible. After all the stuff we've been through, it was easily tolerable.

So I'm done. And determined not to let this hang over my head all weekend. I want to RELAX!

Thank you for ALL your love & support ladies. You are amazing.  I will post as soon as I hear some results. In the meantime, I am going to try not to think about it, so might take a few days off from the boards.

Love to all - A

It's Friday...I came in to find out how Amy's MRI went...oh good, you had it.

So, Amy, it's the "no news is good news" thing, huh? That's how all my "regularly scheduled" scans work -- I get sent for PET, CT and Bone scans every few months -- if nothing's wrong nothing is mentioned until my actual oncologist appointment. If something IS wrong, the doctor calls me. A weirdness on my last CT and PET scans made him call me to get an MRI which is how I found out about the blood clot, which is why I was told to stop taking Tamoxifen, then had special clotting panel blood tests, the Lovenox injections then put on Coumadin and being forced into taking the damn Femara (now Aromasin) for cancer control. Anyhoo -- hopefully it's all still quiet for you, no call from the doctor so you can enjoy your weekend. And yeah, wow, you sure do have a lot of hair. Way more than me. Oh, mine covers my whole head at least, but still isn't long enough to cover my ears.

Oh my, here we go again...No, I don't live in Florida. I live in New Jersey (:::::shudder:::::). And didn't I mention that I wasn't into traveling when I was healthy? That's why I told you all to go on ahead and just make whatever traveling plans you all want to do, without me, the last time this idea came up.

Hmmm. OK, so what else is going on here....

Judy, sounds like you're doing good. That's cool!  :-) So your birthday is coming up? When is it? Well in case I miss it, happy birthday in advance!

Geri, so your BF is 7 years younger than you? Woo-HOO. I'm a cradle robber too; my Pack Rat is 4 years younger than me, and I'm sure he didn't sign up for a girlfriend with cancer either. Anyway...about that "raising the flag issue" -- dare I ask if you've, um, done anything special to help him along, if you know what I mean? When I wear out my Pack Rat really bad (but have energy for more), for instance, I find that when I eat him alive, he does just fine.  ;-) And I like to eat Pack Rat sausage anyway -- it's my favorite food! Heh heh heh. Oh, and one more thing..maybe my Pack Rat's libido is generally higher than your boyfriend's, but, my Pack Rat is at a distance, his lifestyle is ultimate chaos, and we don't get together that often (average is every 6-8 weeks), so maybe by then he's just so totally sex-starved, you know? He came with me for my first chemo infusion, but not for any of my other treatments, scans or anything, although we talk on the phone a couple times a week between visits and he's up to date and 'with me' concerning my condition, treatment, etc. You know, a few visits back I actually suggested to him that maybe I ought to let him go so he could find someone young, pretty and healthy -- and do you know what he said? "What would I want to do THAT for?"

Titan - well in MY opinion, that Pack Rat is the sexiest creature on this entire planet. How are you feeling now? 

Happy birthday Betsy! :-)

Hmmm, OK...I'm five days on the Aromasin...joints ache like worse crap, feet really hurt when i get out of bed in the morning (and sweating with the hot flashes is worse), but, so far, none of the suicidally depressed mood swings and crying fits, and except the other day when it was really hot and humid, I'm still able to take my daily walks. They make me tired and I can't seem to make it up to the next level (3 full circuits of the lake in the park: I'm still "stuck" at 2) yet, but on the other hand, today I did laundry in the morning AND went to the supermarket -- instead of driving I walked, so I walked almost 4 miles today. But of course I passed out on the couch for about an hour once I got home and ate lunch. And, another Sims modder is making me some new skins, special, for my theme game. 

Also I have to design my own diet to lose this frickin weight -- all the diets already out there send me into fits of depression when I read about them because they list foods I don't like, foods I've never even heard of, foods I don't know how to cook, require spending money and so on, so I'm working on that too; I've been keeping records of what I eat and looking up how many calories in it...so I'm going to go on a diet, but it's going to have to be one for ME, based on what I like to eat and how I cook, and not cost me any more money than what I'd spend buying food anyway. I have no past experience with dieting because I was never fat enough to really need it until now. All I had to do before was just not wear bathing suits or midriff-revealing clothes, and I was fine! LOL.

Oh, and you know that Italian dinner I made last Saturday for me and my Pack Rat?  (1 green, 1 red, 1 orange and 1 yellow pepper, plus 2 onions, 2 potatoes and 4 links of sweet Italian sausage, all sauteed in olive oil, with garlic powder and oregano) I had bought enough to make it TWICE, so I'm having it tonight, too. Believe it or not, it isn't that fattening -- I was shocked when I toted up its calories earlier this week, but the recipe (1236 calories total) is good for 4 servings, 309 calories per serving. So I'm off to cook it up, eat one serving tonight and have the rest as leftovers over the next few days. I found out that it goes beautifully with an egg for breakfast too (that's what I did with the leftovers from Sat night). 

Have a good weekend, all -- and don't do anything I wouldn't....

 ~Lena. 

Good to hear from everyone. I'm in Toronto. It's been very hot here - more like middle of July than May with temperatures in high 80's almost every day.

I finally stopped wearing a hat just because it is too hot. My hair (I hate to call it hair) is very fine and very thin and very sparse so my scalp does show all over the crown. But it grew somewhat so yesterday I went for a trim and colour to get rid of the gray. As she was finishing up my hair I burst into uncontrollable tears. It was my first time at a hairdresser in a year and half and secondly, it doesn't seem that I will ever have much hair again. So looking in the mirror is difficult as I'm just not the same person anymore - not emotionally and not physically.

The man I had been seeing for the few years before bc, was 10 years younger than me. And even though he promised to stay with me he did disappear .... and maybe he wasn't worth it but it's very hard to lose a person who you care about because you got sick. I think it would be easier to get to a point (like my marriage) where we just didn't like each other any more.

Hi everyone! 

I'm thinking..that I have never been to New Jersey.....hmmm.....

Hi all, hope you are all having a good holiday weekend! Geri, I will be raising a glass to you and everyone today!

Helen - how are you doing?

Hugs to all, Judy xxx

Geri, what a lovely posting! And what an expert on the drinks!!! (LOL), well, I say just enjoy! This time last year, I didn't think that I would ever enjoy anything again. I hope the infusion went ok today.

Helen - I am too holding your hand and want you to know that I am standing by you even if not in person.

I am coming up to my 41st birthday this week, and cannot believe where I was this time last year. I had treatment a few days before and it was just such a miserable time. I know that we have come so far in a year, but still feel like I have a way to go. I am especially feeling very tired at the moment and am not sleeping well. Hot flashes are not good at the moment. Sorry to go on, but thank you as always for listening.

Everyone, hope you are doing ok today. Thank you all for being such a wonderful support! A truly remarkable group of ladies!

Hugs to you all, Judy xxx

You women are wonderful. Thank you

Hi all,

Amy - how are you doing? It must be very frustrating having to wait another day for the results. Please check in and let us know if you want to share of course : )

Helen - how are you? Are you feeling any brighter today? Still holding your hand!

Titan - I am the same as you! Everything has to be clean and tidy all the time and I am very uncompromising : )

Hugs to everyone and to all those that I have not mentioned.

Family arrives from overseas today, it is going to be a busy couple of weeks!

Take good care, Judy xxx

Results are normal. Just a regular ovarian cyst. Check again via ultrasound in 8 weeks to be sure it resolves on its own. 

So it's good news and I can relax now.
But I can tell already that it is going to take a few days for me to settle down from this. Just giong through it reminds me of my vulnerability and makes me feel very unstable.

It's good news, but it STILL SUCKS!  

Thank you ladies. I'll be back to post more later. Right now I just feel very emotional and shaky.