What made you decide not to recon

I had a breast reduction years ago due to arthritis in my neck causing bone spurs to grow into the back of my throat. I HATED my breasts for causing that agony! With the surgery I had beautiful perky breasts for a 50 year old, but they never felt like mine again. It took a year for me to get sensation back in one of the nipples. So having no weight on my chest has been a Godsend.

When I've had my scares (2 lumpectomies and 2 additional biopsies) I knew I'd never get recon. I have other health issues and to put myself into yet more surgery was not smart. I did not want to focus anymore attention on my breasts. They'd taken up enough of my life. I was 38D in grade 9. Not having to worry about clothing issues and gaping buttons has been wonderful! I feel much slimmer and move and stand way better as well.

I looked at a LOT of pictures on a LOT of websites and didn't like the scarring I saw with the surgeries. To me, it wasn't worth keeping the breasts just to have bumps in my clothes if they weren't going to look good naked. I am not that concerned about body image at 52, but still dress girly with make-up and jewelry and stuff. Just no boobs.

I needed, had to, get back to work as quickly as possible due to financial issues and the quickest way was mast. As I'd already had 2 surgeries on my right breast - the non-cancer side - I said take them both off. Now I'm not lop-sided weight wise, so my neck is fine. I sweat enough as it is without a heavy gel form. My breasts were a 42D so my form would be awfully big.

I have been VERY comfortable with my decision and the first time I have felt even a bit sad is when I consider holding my new grandchild in September in my arms and not have the bosom to cuddle him with.....sigh.

There were so many things that led me to the decision not to have recon.  Here is the short form version.

1.  I didn't want to spend any more time on surgeries and recuperation.  I just wanted to get back to 'normal'.

2.  I read about a lot of people who had pain and complications.  My understanding is that the process after mast is VERY different from surgery for enhancement. 

3.  I didn't want to have 'dead' bumps on my chest.  Yes, I know that will seem offensive to some, but that is my personal feelings about recon...for me.

4.  I wanted to make any recurances easy to find.  Didn't want to give lumps and bumps anywhere to hide.  Didn't want to rely on imaging tests.  They had already let me down.

5.  I spent my life with rather large boobs.  My shoulders had dents in them from bra straps.  They made it difficult to exercise properly.   My back and shoulders were achy from carrying them around.  

6.  I didn't like any of the options.  Wasn't crazy about the idea of having a foreign object on my body.  And the option of using your own belly fat made me uncomfortable because it is known to store estrogen and that was a fuel for my cancer.   

7.  Two weeks before this all began for me, a new woman started at my workplace.  She eventually shared that she had dble mast with no recon.  She didn't wear foobies...and no one even noticed.  She was very happy and comfortable with her decision.  That was big for me.  

I have never regretted my decision.  On hot days, I joke with the girls at work about their sweaty boobs and confining bras.  I can wear cute little tank tops now.  I can jog without any 'hinderences'.  I can put on my big boobs or my small boobs if I want to.  But I hardly ever, ever wear them.  I have some feeling in my chest and I don't know if I would have if there was an implant between the layers.

I hope this helps with your decision.     

I decided not  to have reconstruction because the different methods all have major draw backs as far as I am concerned.  The idea of putting an implant under my pec muscles made me very, very uneasy.  I am very active (rock climb and hike) so do not want to interfere with the function of the pec muscles.  Lat or tram flaps would have been out of the question for the same reason.  I might have considered DIEP reconstruction except it is such a major surgery.   I had two surgeries in the six months before I had my mastectomy - a total hip replacement and a lumpectomy, an excisional biopsy and an SNB.  I was tired of surgeries and didn't want to sign up for more.  Also, I would have not been able to have a DIEP done locally.  The idea of having to find a plastic surgeon and fight with my insurance company to go out of network was overwhelming.

I've posted my answer several times---you may want to search this as there are some beautiful responses on various threads.

 Also, Breastfree.org, started by one of our gals here, has some beautiful essays on reasons reconstruction was skipped.

 For me, I am a worrier.  I did not want the 6 months MRI, 6 months mammogram (which never found my lobular cancer) and the "waiting for the shoe to drop" feeling.

I loved my breasts.  I had huge sexual response from them and it is something I miss very much, but who can think of sex when they are constantly worried about the next scan....add to that, the hormonals I am on.  Let's just say that arena is less important for me.

I schlepped 34-36D cups most of my adult life and confess that the freedom of not getting oogled, the money saved on bras (I go flat and figure that is my benefit of having to lose breasts), the freedom of jogging/running without getting black eyes...sleeping on my chest with little discomfort....no sagging.  I guess those are my silver lining for a stupid disease no one would elect to have.

Thankfully, my DH is a "leg & a$$" man, so this wasn't even a blip on his radar, except for concern on my feelings.

Suzy, you have explained it so well! That's pretty much how I feel too.

Michele,

I love this site b/c I can be honest about how I feel and all you ladies 'get it' because you have been there! 

It has not been easy for me to get to that place where I can live with no recon., scars, and flat chest and be at peace with it.  There are still times when it hurts my pride, and my heart, but this is me.  I think once I accepted that this is what has happened to me, I was able to start embracing the fact that I didn't want to try to hide from it.  I would rather just deal with it.  The biggest hurdle for me was starting to realize that I could be sexy and attractive without boobs, and that even if some people can't see that, do I really care?  Those are not people I would want to really be close with anyway, you know?

Peace to you, my friend  - we have been through so much, and so many of us are still struggling.  I am sending you a BIG CYBER HUG. 

Suzybelle,

I've been form-free for most of my time since bilat in 2006, but sometimes I get so jealous of the women I see on TV, the cleavage, the dresses and tops I will never wear, because I was too shy to do it when I had boobs.  I was quite small until I hit my 40s, began to work too hard and eat too unhealthily, and then when I had boobs, I still thought they were small.  I look at the pictures now, and I am stunned.  But now I don't have boobs, and I feel, as you said, somehow dishonest, if I don't just be myself.  Myself has no boobs.  I have 4 sets of prostheses of different kinds, and sometimes I put a set on for a few hours, but I will not go back to bras and all their discomfort, and camis don't hold a lot of weight.  And I still feel less than honest.  I'd rather be flat, so women can see that there is life, LIFE, after bilat mast and bc.  And most of the time I feel really good about that.  When I don't (lately is when I've been thinking about wearing foobs again), I'm just trying to wait it out.  After all, I have grey hair and wrinkles (I'm 63) and some sags where that extra 40 pounds (not my old boobs! just fat) I had carried around used to be.  If it weren't for TV I don't think I would even think about any of that.  For 63, I look pretty good. My DH would be happier if I could just put the whole experience behind me, but I can't, and I don't really want to.  I'm glad my new normal includes being as supportive as I can of anyone I meet who is faced with the terrible choices we've all had to make.  There are no perfect, one-size-fits-all answers, so we have to make the decisions that fit us best...for as long as they fit us.  It has taken me a while to get here.

Michele, you will get to a more peaceful place one of these days.  Give yourself more time, and know we'll be here for you all the way.  

Dawn 

When I was diagnosed, I never even thought of recon....I just wanted the cancer OUT of me...I chose mastectomy as I knew I did not want radiation.I have a friend now who has BC,she was diagnosed in December 2009,went through four lumpectomies and excisions as she was so desperate to not lose her breast.Now she has to have a mastectomy and is delaying it while she researches recon.Also sounds like chemo is in the cards for her,though her onco score was only ten.I have tried to help her do research and I have read nothing that will convince me that recon is right for me..too much pain, too long under anesthesia,too long a recovery period and then when things go wrong,sounds like they really go wrong.Plus I read of women who are so dissatisfied after doing it,it does not meet their expectations.I was always vain of my breasts and hair..go figure...but no way would I put myself and my body through more surgery to replace a part of my body that is basically useless.I do have to wear a prothesis as my remaining breast needs the support of a bra and the bra is very uncomfortabloe for me with no form..if not for that,I would not wear one.I wear the form for my own comfort,not for society.I am lucky,my husband is so supportive,but if he wasn't,he would be out the door.

I chose not to have reconstruction due to a real desire to avoid more exams, more surgeries, and more time before getting the surgery scheduled (to allow time to co-ordinate everything). I don't like the idea of surgery anyway but it needed to be done - so I chose a mastectomy to avoid repeat surgeries for unclear margins, and said an immediate "no" to reconstruction and the plastic surgeon consult or a nipple sparing mastectomy in case I decided on reconstruction later. It was NOT something I even wanted to consider - to have abdominal, or buttock,or back incisions in addition to the breast incision.

Now - I've never been sorry. I wear prosthesis, don't mind them at all, usually forget except when changing clothes! It's nice to be balanced again after having a proph. mastectomy in Nov. And it's nice to not have the heat and sweatiness of skin to skin contact under my breasts. My husband has been wonderful - I'm the one that told him that I would do it for him.......! We've just found other ways to be intimate! I recovered sooner without the risk of side effects from rads, etc.

But, we are all different and there are so many variables in our lives and our diagnosis. Please ask questions, do any research you can, and find what makes YOU comfortable. There are many paths on this journey.

I agree (it's hard for our husbands to sit and wait!) - and I can't imagine being in surgery that long for those results. Open heart surgery maybe if absolutely necessary. But - this is MY opinion!

You can always request that they move you up in case someone else cancels. It may not work, but is always worth a try!

lucylou,

I hope you have an easy, uneventful recovery. As one who didn't reconstruct, I think you've made a good choice. I do wear (small) breast forms and I look good and feel great. I just attended my son's wedding, wore a beautiful dress, and danced the night away -- I never remembered the breast forms once nor felt even a little self-conscious.

I'm almost four years out from surgery and I have not had any regrets. I hope you'll feel the same way. The nice thing is that if you change your mind, reconstruction is always an option. For the best non-reconstruction result, though, I recommend having a non-skin-sparing mastectomy. I told my breast surgeon that I didn't want recon and asked her to make my chest as "cosmetically pleasing" as possible.

Barbara

BreastFree.org

For me, it was too many doctors appointments, surgeries and side effects. I just wanted to move on and figured I would do it later on....17 months later still have no interest. Prostectic works fine for me..its comfortable and looks natural..

Hi my name is laura. I More or less have decided to have my inplants removed. This is a very hard decision for me. I have been in pain for four years since I had my implants put in. I have no idea what ot expect. I am hoping that when I go to the Plastic surgeon in June that he will agree to do this for me. I don't know if my pain will be gone. I have back and neck issues. My reconstructed breasts are uncomfortable and my chest hurts all the time..

I hope that I will get some support form this webb site.

Thanks for listening to me