A tale of a fever and a crying husband

Aww, I got all teary reading that.  The ONLY thing that has helped me is time.  It's not so fresh for me anymore.  Cancer (thank God) is not at the forefront of my mind now.  Don't get me wrong..I still have my moments.  I guess I've learned how to take "those moments" out of the box and shove them back in til the next time.   Denial?  I guess some would call it that. I certainly wouldn't call it "inner strength".

I rarely talk about cancer with my son (12).  He knows it could come back, but it's not something we talk about.

Hugs!   

Hi Sweetheart,

Gosh, how appropriate your post is to me today.  I just had a conversation with both of my kids tonight (daughter who is 13, son who is 11) to explain a little about going forward from here.  I am seeing an oncologist dietitian Thursday whom I've seen speak already, and know I am going to need to make some lifestyle changes.  I especially had to explain this to my son, who although is a WONDERFUL boy does a lot of complaining about his food choices since he loves all the fattening stuff--fried foods, meat, sweet, etc.  All boy.  I explained to him that although I'm OK now, once someone has cancer you are always at risk of having it come back, so I was going to need his cooperation in trying not to complain about the food choices so much.  He was very cooperative.  We'll see how it goes......... And I get like you thinking about them possibly not having a Mom to grow up with and it just tears me up.  I CAN'T let that happen to them!  

I feel so bad for your husband. Mine is the strong, quiet type (he's a police officer) and sometimes I really don't know what he is thinking.  And I've never seen him cry during all of this, although he certainly has seen his share with me.  I know he loves me, but it would be nice if he expressed his emotions sometimes.  Not that I really want to see him cry, but maybe articulate his worries/concerns from time to time.

So, I hope this finds you feeling better.  Keep up the good work!

Love,

Sharon

I have 4 kids.  Three boys 13, 10 and 9 and a girl who is 7.  Early on I spent about 5 days crying and blubbering to my husband about dying and not being there for the kids.  I felt more sorry for myself than I ever have in my lifetime.  The kids would see me crying and walk slowly past the doorway afraid to come near me.  I realized that I was scaring them,  the cancer wasn't scaring them, but ME.  I decided that I had to change. If I let them think the cancer would kill me then they believed that too.  Now I honestly believe that I will beat this thing. I read the stories of the amazing women that have lived years and years and I believe that I will be one of them. When you read the stats, but yourself in the survivor side, why do we assume otherwise.  Treatments are going to change and advance.  I try to believe that in the future if it recurrs something else will be there to work for me.   

Like Spunkgirl just said, I count my blessings. I was lucky enough to have my children late in life.  I married my husband at 37 and had my kids at 38, 40, 42 and 43.  In some ways I think I have already beat the odds.  First finding a good man at that age and secondly having healthy kids with natural births when the doctors warned against it. I trust God to take care of the rest.

Best wishes for all of you with young children. Take good care of your children and yourselves.

 PS  Bjuice, I think your husband sounds wonderful!  You should give him a big hug and kiss. So many of us are lucky to have such amazing spouses.  I think we need to remember how hard this things is on them too.