MARCH 2010 Rads Group

3 more whole-breasts and 5 boosts to go, and WOW, the fatigue sure has HIT!!!  Last night I went to bed at 9:20 pm and slept for 11 hours straight!  Now I'm exhausted again tonight; I feel like I can barely form sentences after 8 pm.  It's a different kind of fatigue than I'm used to - even the smallest things feel overwhelming, like cleaning the litter box, which is something I've been doing regularly for years now, you know?  And typing emails at night - I find myself just staring blankly at the monitor, wishing so much that my thoughts would magically appear on the screen so my fingers didn't have to type them.  And I keep dropping things - yesterday I dropped the lids to my coffee cup and water bottle and thus couldn't use either, and dropped and broke my pedometer.  I feel kind of like I'm underwater - moving slow and heavy.

Raili:

I hear you!!!! I'm on the same schedule as you and Mommaof2.  This week I finish the regular and then I have five boosts next week.  I bailed on work yesterday at 3pm, my husband picked me up, after hugging monsters and all, I was in bed by 4:30pm and at 6:15pm, he dragged me out of bed for dinner. He was afraid that if he didn't, I would wake up at 11 and not get back to sleep. FAT CHANCE!!  I dragged through dinner, dealt with monsters and cleaned the very disgusting rat cage and was back in bed by 9:30ish.  I had a fine nights sleep, woke up at 6am this morning and for the first hour, I felt fine but now I'm sitting at work wiped out again.  Add to the fun, I am now blistering on top of my breast which is making the rubbing from clothes extra special though the plain cotton tshirts under everything certainly helps.

I feel like I did when I was in litigation working until 11 every night, getting to bed at midnight and getting up at 6 and starting again.  Only this is how I felt after doing that for WEEKS--I have never been this wiped for what feels to my brain like so little.

I don't know what to do about work.  I am giving myself a bit of a break tomorrow---changed my Zap time so I could leave work early and hit the knitting support group and go home but I'm not sure that will be enough of a break.  While my bosses are being nice, I still feel bad about taking more time because I know I'm completely useless on the project I am assigned to.  Its so frustrating.

Heres to Zap 26, only 8 to go!

jenn

three cheers for being 7 to go!

How interesting that so many of you have a boost sim as well.  I asked today and I was told that I don't have that, it was all part of the regular set-up when I was trained to use the machine so they will just start boosts on Monday.  Perhaps the difference is that I am using the precise machine because I have to do the breathing thing.

I am not so tired today but boy is my boob bothering me. . . if only the office would let me go topless so the shirt wasn't rubbing on my poorcrispy nipple that would be so much help . . .

What a great way to celebrate. I end mine on Friday, and have been elated all week long. I'm so happy to be ending this treatment. I think we should keep in touch.... where do we post now that our "month" is ending?

Peace to you all,

 MaryAnn

June2268  In much of Europe women don't always shave their underarms.  Or their legs for that matter.  I think you should proclaim yourself to be European and use that as the explanation for the pit hair.  Of course, you may need to do research and, of course, the very best research is live and in person.  Have a great trip!

irishmom congrats on being done!

MaryAnn you are almost there!

My last day is May 7.  I believe Raili is also done on that day!  I am planning to bring cookies [my husband is making them though he doesn't know that yet!  ] I will see the Zap doctor on that day on my way out.  I haven't really planned to be picked up or met by my husband that day as my Zaps are mid day and we will be going on a family retreat that weekend.  But I did arrange to meet up with my best friend from kindergarten [nearly 35 years after we last knew each other, we reunited on the completely opposite side of  the country from where we grew up!--isn't that wierd?] and ride the ferry together and have a glass of wine to toast the end before I meet up with my husband.

All I think continuing to post here is a great idea.  I'm not sure where else would work nearly as well.  Other groups have expanded their threads to post activities.

Ladies I am all DONE!!!!  I cannot get this smile off my face.....I love my techs. Dr's and everyone.....they all hugged me and made me feel so very special!  Some of them were sad it was over for me......I was like come on guys, be happy.....I felt like a complete weirdo as I was grinning from ear to ear on the table getting zapped for the very last time......

 YEAHHHHHH!  I will be thinking of all of you and it does fly by!  June

YEAH for you June!!  Congrats!!  It's so great that we are all finishing up with our rads!  I hope you enjoy tomorrow as your first rad free day!

 Sherri - I had to use a breathing tube because my cancer was on the left side. , I had to take in a deep breath and hold it during the treatment, sometimes I thought I was turning blue!.  I guess the theory is that doing that moves the lungs and heart out of the way.  How are you feeling now that you are all through with your treatments?  Is you skin recovering yet?  I'm starting to get a little red, but so far no blisters.  Take care.

Liz

Congrats, Kathy and June!!  So glad you're done!

3monstmama, yes, that's my last day, too!!  I love your plan for the day.

Today was the first time that I arrived when the machine was down for maintenance, argh!!  (The power briefly went out, and then the machine had to go through its lengthy re-start process).  Rather than waiting in the waiting room for half an hour or whatever, I rescheduled for 2 hrs later and went downtown to get some work done on my laptop with a latte!

So glad tomorrow is my last whole-breast day and then it's on to the boosts!!  Yesterday I had my weekly check with the nurse and rad onc, and the nurse was soooo amazed by how GOOD my breast looks this close to the end.  It just looks like a mild sunburn/tan, no blistering or anything.  And all I'm using is aloe!  She offered me Biafine cream for the 5th time and I declined for the 5th time...

Today I met a really sweet, friendly, fun-to-talk with woman in the waiting room, and enjoyed her company.  Usually I avoid eye contact with everyone and keep my nose in a book/magazine, ever since that day when the elderly woman grabbed my arm and told me, "You're too young to be here!!  I'm so sorry, Honey!!  You're a good little girl and I'll pray for you!!!"  AAAHHHH!!  But I'm glad I took the chance and talked to this woman.  She was only having her 4th radiation treatment today, but has already been through 8 chemo treatments and seems to be doing amazingly well, so I hope she sails through rads with few or no problems, unlike me!!  I'm thrilled to be done with rads next week, but I will miss talking with her.  I know she'll be there every day at 2:15 pm until mid-June, so I may pop in from time to time for a surprise chat in the waiting room, or bring her a flower or card every now and then!!  It will make me feel better to make her feel better!

Being able to help other women is what's motivating me to try the soon-to-be-prescribed Tamoxifen.  I'm part of a clinical trial that seeks to better individualize treatment for women with breast cancer in the future, and that's awesome.  Cancer sucks, and cancer treatments have ironically sucked more for me than the slow-growing-cancer-I-never-knew-I-had ever did, and every step of the way, I'm tempted to refuse these seemingly scary and dangerous treatments...but if I can stay the course so researchers can use my information to help other women in the future, it feels more worthwhile to me.

HELLO

Im happy for all who has finished rads i had my last full treat and now all next week im having my boosts ,i know you guys are really excited to finish but im not . i feel like i don't want them to stop its weird ah but to me it s like a safety net going every day for treatment and killing this horrible thing then all of a sudden it all stops and the safety net is taken away from me , ive been having a hard time with it and im crying a lot i spoke to the techs today about how im feeling and they were great and i started crying again and  one of the techs gave me a big cuddle and i cryed in his chest for ages that was very easy to do he is a bit of a honey lol but yeh i dont want this treat to end its scary im going to have to deal with this and get a grip

we use a saying here at home its called the 3 Gs     GET A GRIP   , GET OVER IT    ,AND GET ON WITH IT  

JOJO 

Stick a fork in me - I'm DONE  When this all started, I felt like I'd never finish, but 6 weeks did go by suprisingly fast.  I'm just glad it's over and now my poor SB can start to heal.  We are taking a ride up the Maine coast tomorrow for a nice lunch to celebrate.  Now I will be starting Tamoxifen so that will be a whole new adventure

Congratulations to everyone who has finished and good luck to everyone that is nearing the finish line!

Only 5 Zaps Left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  yippee says me.

I had the last of  my regular treatments with the scuba gear on.  I took my scuba gear with me and as soon as I can figure out how to do it, I'm hanging it on my door. We did the set-up for the boosts next week--and the Zap Boobie is covered with red and blue lines.  I can already hear my boys saying "but mama you said we should never draw on ourselves with pens. . . ." yeah well. . . . I am told that I can wash away, no need to keep the markings on as they have taken photos of me in the proper position and they will use that next week.

On the "bad" news front I found out that my favorite tech is being rotated out--new month, new tech.  I am pretty bummed about that as he made it so pleasant with all the talk of gardens and kids and things.  I really felt like a person and not a hunk of meat that was delaying the start of lunch.  Ah well.  He did give a big hug and wished me luck and said he would see me in the hallway when I came for treatment.

Side effects are increasing.  I have given up on the second t-shirt over the classy torn white undershirts --the rubbing was just too painful.  Now I am wearing my fleece jacket over the classy torn white undershirt and when it gets too hot, I take it off and close the door.  We will see if I make it to work every day next week.  I was told at my knitting support group that the last week and two weeks after could actually be the worst.

Now that the end is near, I need to make the appointment with the oncologist about tamoxifen. . . .guess I really should get on that today. . . or maybe next week. . . .

Have a great weekend one and all!

Way to go! to all of you still trudging through.  And congratulations to those who've finished this week.

I am a week out, and finally starting to feel a bit normal.  I was pretty tired out early this week - and although the skin wasn't getting worse, it also didn't immediately get better.  Now it's peeling, fading, and deflating.  Yipee!

Have a good weekend everyone! 

Congrats, Marianna!!   YAY!!!!  So glad you're done!!!

One week left... I haven't had my boosts set up yet like you, 3monstmama!  I guess that will be tomorrow.

I met with my oncologist on Friday, and I was so happily surprised when she told me I can take a whole month off to recover from radiation before starting Tamoxifen!!!   A whole month of not being a cancer patient sounds awesome to me!!  And it also gives me more time to continue researching Tamox and formulate my list of questions for her.

Marianna Congrats....sounds like you had a great lunch!

I guess I am feeling a little jealous about people getting a break and waiting a few weeks or months to start Tamoxifen.....I started mine on the day of my last rads!!!  I am very sensitive to the meds and was afraid of sickness but so far so good.  My only real SE is insomnia and I get that with alot of meds so I switched and started taking it in the morning and thought I might get sick, but I didn't.....so we will have to see if that helps!

This week is going to fly by for you women waiting to finish rads....keep us posted!  June