MARCH 2010 Rads Group
Comments
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Hi gals - Hooray I have one more boost tomorrow and then I am done. Celebration dinner tomorrow with the husband. Really looking forward to not having a daily appt on Thursday. Can't wait for the breast and skin to start healing. Good luck to all that finish this week. I still haven't picked upthe bottle of tamoxifen - I'm just not sure why I haven't gotten it yet. Hope everyone is having a good week. Cheer -Kathy
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3 more whole-breasts and 5 boosts to go, and WOW, the fatigue sure has HIT!!! Last night I went to bed at 9:20 pm and slept for 11 hours straight! Now I'm exhausted again tonight; I feel like I can barely form sentences after 8 pm. It's a different kind of fatigue than I'm used to - even the smallest things feel overwhelming, like cleaning the litter box, which is something I've been doing regularly for years now, you know? And typing emails at night - I find myself just staring blankly at the monitor, wishing so much that my thoughts would magically appear on the screen so my fingers didn't have to type them. And I keep dropping things - yesterday I dropped the lids to my coffee cup and water bottle and thus couldn't use either, and dropped and broke my pedometer. I feel kind of like I'm underwater - moving slow and heavy.
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Yeah for you Kathy!! You must be so excited to be finished tomorrow! Hope you have a wonderful celebration with your husband! I meet with my med onc tomorrow and I'm sure he'll have my script for Tamoxifen. I've been debating having my ovaries out so I can go on the hormone therapy that has fewer se's (AI therapy). I just can't make a decision right now though. Good luck to you.
Rali - I'm right there with you. Three more whole zaps and then just five boosts. I just CAN'T wait to be through and have my mornings back.
I'm also really tired, but I think that is more from not sleeping well. Might take an ativan tonight to get a really good nights sleep.
Happy Wednesday everyone!
Liz
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Raili:
I hear you!!!! I'm on the same schedule as you and Mommaof2. This week I finish the regular and then I have five boosts next week. I bailed on work yesterday at 3pm, my husband picked me up, after hugging monsters and all, I was in bed by 4:30pm and at 6:15pm, he dragged me out of bed for dinner. He was afraid that if he didn't, I would wake up at 11 and not get back to sleep. FAT CHANCE!! I dragged through dinner, dealt with monsters and cleaned the very disgusting rat cage and was back in bed by 9:30ish. I had a fine nights sleep, woke up at 6am this morning and for the first hour, I felt fine but now I'm sitting at work wiped out again. Add to the fun, I am now blistering on top of my breast which is making the rubbing from clothes extra special though the plain cotton tshirts under everything certainly helps.
I feel like I did when I was in litigation working until 11 every night, getting to bed at midnight and getting up at 6 and starting again. Only this is how I felt after doing that for WEEKS--I have never been this wiped for what feels to my brain like so little.
I don't know what to do about work. I am giving myself a bit of a break tomorrow---changed my Zap time so I could leave work early and hit the knitting support group and go home but I'm not sure that will be enough of a break. While my bosses are being nice, I still feel bad about taking more time because I know I'm completely useless on the project I am assigned to. Its so frustrating.
Heres to Zap 26, only 8 to go!
jenn
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Can you believe we are getting so close to being finished? Only 7 more to go. I have my boost sim tomorrow...I guess that might mean more tattoos, but I don't really mind because it means I'M ALMOST THROUGH!!!
Have a good night everyone!!!
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three cheers for being 7 to go!
How interesting that so many of you have a boost sim as well. I asked today and I was told that I don't have that, it was all part of the regular set-up when I was trained to use the machine so they will just start boosts on Monday. Perhaps the difference is that I am using the precise machine because I have to do the breathing thing.
I am not so tired today but boy is my boob bothering me. . . if only the office would let me go topless so the shirt wasn't rubbing on my poorcrispy nipple that would be so much help . . .
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OMG I'm finished - I can't believe the wave of emotion that came over me with the techs and then when I walked outside and got in the car - my husband said - congrats and I was balling. Maybe I'm hiding alot of my feelings - I don't know, I'm just glad that part of the treatment is over. I go back for a re-check on 5/12. We had a great dinner and a few cocktails and home again. I will be so happy tomorrow not to have any appt., I might just stay in my pajamas all day - anyway hope everyone is having a good night and getting closer to be done. Love to all, Kathy
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What a great way to celebrate. I end mine on Friday, and have been elated all week long. I'm so happy to be ending this treatment. I think we should keep in touch.... where do we post now that our "month" is ending?
Peace to you all,
MaryAnn
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MaryAnn I say we keep posting here as this is where we all connected, unless you want to start a forum.....
Kathy that is fabulous news and I am so happy for you. Tomorrow is my last day and I wonder what I will feel at the time of departure. I don't have the luxury of a celebratory dinner right now but I will do it soon!
Mommaof2 and 3monstmama I will be thinking of you keep us posted on your last day!
I went right into boost with no sim either......they tattooed me 6 times and I don't have a breathy thingy either.......so funny how everything is different for each person....
I was bummed however my rad onco told me not to shave for another 2 months that if I had to I could use an electric razor but nothing to sharp......boo hoo......it is getting hotter here and expected to be in the 80's this weekend......
Congrats to all you fine women and hope I didn't leave anyone out......
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June2268 In much of Europe women don't always shave their underarms. Or their legs for that matter. I think you should proclaim yourself to be European and use that as the explanation for the pit hair. Of course, you may need to do research and, of course, the very best research is live and in person. Have a great trip!
irishmom congrats on being done!
MaryAnn you are almost there!
My last day is May 7. I believe Raili is also done on that day! I am planning to bring cookies [my husband is making them though he doesn't know that yet!
] I will see the Zap doctor on that day on my way out. I haven't really planned to be picked up or met by my husband that day as my Zaps are mid day and we will be going on a family retreat that weekend. But I did arrange to meet up with my best friend from kindergarten [nearly 35 years after we last knew each other, we reunited on the completely opposite side of the country from where we grew up!--isn't that wierd?] and ride the ferry together and have a glass of wine to toast the end before I meet up with my husband.All I think continuing to post here is a great idea. I'm not sure where else would work nearly as well. Other groups have expanded their threads to post activities.
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Well, I found out today that I start my boosts tomorrow! WHOO HOO!! What a surprise! I had always thought I was having 25 full and 5 boosts...I guess the plan changed for some reason. I don't really care why because it makes the end seem even closer AND I get to get rid of the breathing tube!!! YEAH! SO I have 7 boosts to go and I'm THROUGH!
Happy Thursday everyone!
Liz
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Liz - that's great news. What breathing tube are you referring to? I didn't have anything like that.
Sherri
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Oh no, 2 more months after radiation before shaving?? It's going to get ugly around here!
Congratulations to everyone just finishing radiation. I can't wait to be there with you. 4 more boosts to go and I'll be celebrating with a couple of cocktails as well. Take care, ladies.
Kathy
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Ladies I am all DONE!!!! I cannot get this smile off my face.....I love my techs. Dr's and everyone.....they all hugged me and made me feel so very special! Some of them were sad it was over for me......I was like come on guys, be happy.....I felt like a complete weirdo as I was grinning from ear to ear on the table getting zapped for the very last time......
YEAHHHHHH! I will be thinking of all of you and it does fly by! June
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Congrats June - sooo happy for you. Hope everyone is having a good week, loved my day today.
I will offically be discharged May 12th but the doctor told me keep the same routine until then. If all is healed I will be able to shave and use deodrants and lotinos again after May 12. She didn't mention anything about waiting 2 months.For all that are fininshing this week - lots of hugs and good wishes to you and to everyone.
Kathy
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YEAH for you June!! Congrats!! It's so great that we are all finishing up with our rads! I hope you enjoy tomorrow as your first rad free day!
Sherri - I had to use a breathing tube because my cancer was on the left side. , I had to take in a deep breath and hold it during the treatment, sometimes I thought I was turning blue!. I guess the theory is that doing that moves the lungs and heart out of the way. How are you feeling now that you are all through with your treatments? Is you skin recovering yet? I'm starting to get a little red, but so far no blisters. Take care.
Liz
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Congrats June....doesn't it feel wonderful?
Kathylev.....I know on the shaving. I don't know if I can wait that long. It's driving me NUTS.
For the rest who have finished (that I might have missed) congrats to each of you and for those almost done...hang in there it will be over soon. Hugs to all......
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Congrats, Kathy and June!! So glad you're done!
3monstmama, yes, that's my last day, too!! I love your plan for the day.
Today was the first time that I arrived when the machine was down for maintenance, argh!! (The power briefly went out, and then the machine had to go through its lengthy re-start process). Rather than waiting in the waiting room for half an hour or whatever, I rescheduled for 2 hrs later and went downtown to get some work done on my laptop with a latte!
So glad tomorrow is my last whole-breast day and then it's on to the boosts!! Yesterday I had my weekly check with the nurse and rad onc, and the nurse was soooo amazed by how GOOD my breast looks this close to the end. It just looks like a mild sunburn/tan, no blistering or anything. And all I'm using is aloe! She offered me Biafine cream for the 5th time and I declined for the 5th time...
Today I met a really sweet, friendly, fun-to-talk with woman in the waiting room, and enjoyed her company. Usually I avoid eye contact with everyone and keep my nose in a book/magazine, ever since that day when the elderly woman grabbed my arm and told me, "You're too young to be here!! I'm so sorry, Honey!! You're a good little girl and I'll pray for you!!!" AAAHHHH!! But I'm glad I took the chance and talked to this woman. She was only having her 4th radiation treatment today, but has already been through 8 chemo treatments and seems to be doing amazingly well, so I hope she sails through rads with few or no problems, unlike me!! I'm thrilled to be done with rads next week, but I will miss talking with her. I know she'll be there every day at 2:15 pm until mid-June, so I may pop in from time to time for a surprise chat in the waiting room, or bring her a flower or card every now and then!! It will make me feel better to make her feel better!
Being able to help other women is what's motivating me to try the soon-to-be-prescribed Tamoxifen. I'm part of a clinical trial that seeks to better individualize treatment for women with breast cancer in the future, and that's awesome. Cancer sucks, and cancer treatments have ironically sucked more for me than the slow-growing-cancer-I-never-knew-I-had ever did, and every step of the way, I'm tempted to refuse these seemingly scary and dangerous treatments...but if I can stay the course so researchers can use my information to help other women in the future, it feels more worthwhile to me.
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I hope everyone does something special at the end, of course you may be too tired. I have one more full treatment tomorrow and then on to five boosts next week. My skin is really red and I can't imagine what it will be like on May 7th. I don't know if I have ever felt like this in my life. During the day a suddenly have no energy and if someone at work gives me a new task it just feels like too much. I was glad to hear others were getting tired as well, it makes me know its normal for these treatments. Thanks for everyones advise over the last weeks, these posting have really helped me get through this.
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HELLO
Im happy for all who has finished rads i had my last full treat and now all next week im having my boosts ,i know you guys are really excited to finish but im not . i feel like i don't want them to stop its weird ah but to me it s like a safety net going every day for treatment and killing this horrible thing then all of a sudden it all stops and the safety net is taken away from me , ive been having a hard time with it and im crying a lot i spoke to the techs today about how im feeling and they were great and i started crying again and one of the techs gave me a big cuddle and i cryed in his chest for ages that was very easy to do he is a bit of a honey lol but yeh i dont want this treat to end its scary im going to have to deal with this and get a grip
we use a saying here at home its called the 3 Gs GET A GRIP , GET OVER IT ,AND GET ON WITH IT
JOJO
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Jojo - I had the same reaction except I cried to the hospital volunteer as I lef the building after my last treatment. As much as it was a pain going there every day for treatment, at least I felt like "something" was being done to kill the beast. I'm triple negative so there are no pills or anything else and I feel like I'm kind of left on my own with it now. I don't see the medical onc until July and the rads onc until Aug. I think my surgeon is who will follow me going forward. I will try to follow the 3 Gs!
Sherri
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Stick a fork in me - I'm DONE
When this all started, I felt like I'd never finish, but 6 weeks did go by suprisingly fast. I'm just glad it's over and now my poor SB can start to heal. We are taking a ride up the Maine coast tomorrow for a nice lunch to celebrate. Now I will be starting Tamoxifen so that will be a whole new adventure 
Congratulations to everyone who has finished and good luck to everyone that is nearing the finish line!
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Congratulations Deb! I hope you enjoy your drive and have a wonderful lunch tomorrow. That sounds like a lot of fun! I hope you'll have beautiful weather!
JoJo - While I sure won't miss getting zapped every day, I will miss seeing and chatting with all the nice people I've met. It is going to be so strange not having to drive to the hospital every day and having my morning free again. I am really looking forward to getting back into my gym routine and seeing all my friends there.
I got my Tamoxifen prescription yesterday, although my onc said to wait a couple more weeks before starting it. I have an appt. with my gyno in a couple of weeks to discuss having my ovaries out. My chemo treatments put me into menopause, but because no one knows if my ovaries will "wake" up again I can't go on the AI hormone therapy. From what I've seen AI's have fewer SE's than the Tamoxifen, so I would much rather go on that hormone therapy. I'd just as soon have my ovaries out because I sure don't want to go through menopause TWICE!!
Happy Friday and hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!
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Only 5 Zaps Left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yippee says me.
I had the last of my regular treatments with the scuba gear on. I took my scuba gear with me and as soon as I can figure out how to do it, I'm hanging it on my door. We did the set-up for the boosts next week--and the Zap Boobie is covered with red and blue lines. I can already hear my boys saying "but mama you said we should never draw on ourselves with pens. . . ." yeah well. . . . I am told that I can wash away, no need to keep the markings on as they have taken photos of me in the proper position and they will use that next week.
On the "bad" news front I found out that my favorite tech is being rotated out--new month, new tech. I am pretty bummed about that as he made it so pleasant with all the talk of gardens and kids and things. I really felt like a person and not a hunk of meat that was delaying the start of lunch. Ah well. He did give a big hug and wished me luck and said he would see me in the hallway when I came for treatment.
Side effects are increasing. I have given up on the second t-shirt over the classy torn white undershirts --the rubbing was just too painful. Now I am wearing my fleece jacket over the classy torn white undershirt and when it gets too hot, I take it off and close the door. We will see if I make it to work every day next week. I was told at my knitting support group that the last week and two weeks after could actually be the worst.
Now that the end is near, I need to make the appointment with the oncologist about tamoxifen. . . .guess I really should get on that today. . . or maybe next week. . . .
Have a great weekend one and all!
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DONNNNEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!
SO Happy!!!!
Had champagne lunch at my favorite French restaurant with hubby today.
JoJo- I liked the 3G statement, but totally understand what you mean. My biggest fear was actually that I will see the techs again someday, though they all told me they hope I never have to come back......
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Way to go! to all of you still trudging through. And congratulations to those who've finished this week.
I am a week out, and finally starting to feel a bit normal. I was pretty tired out early this week - and although the skin wasn't getting worse, it also didn't immediately get better. Now it's peeling, fading, and deflating. Yipee!
Have a good weekend everyone!
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MariannaHB, congrats.....so happy that you're done!!!
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Congrats, Marianna!!
YAY!!!! So glad you're done!!!One week left... I haven't had my boosts set up yet like you, 3monstmama! I guess that will be tomorrow.
I met with my oncologist on Friday, and I was so happily surprised when she told me I can take a whole month off to recover from radiation before starting Tamoxifen!!!
A whole month of not being a cancer patient sounds awesome to me!! And it also gives me more time to continue researching Tamox and formulate my list of questions for her. -
Hi Railli,
Like you have done a ton of research on tamox and am now leaning towards taking it.. Will expand if you like but it's a long story - and BTW got TWO second opinions on the matter!
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Marianna Congrats....sounds like you had a great lunch!
I guess I am feeling a little jealous about people getting a break and waiting a few weeks or months to start Tamoxifen.....I started mine on the day of my last rads!!! I am very sensitive to the meds and was afraid of sickness but so far so good. My only real SE is insomnia and I get that with alot of meds so I switched and started taking it in the morning and thought I might get sick, but I didn't.....so we will have to see if that helps!
This week is going to fly by for you women waiting to finish rads....keep us posted! June
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