Class of 2010

KatieMom,

I live 70 miles from Lake George, 14 miles from Lake Placid, and 55 miles from Canadian Border.   If I am not under the sod from chemo treatments.

Hey Irish...good news on the lung biopsy!  Yahoo.  I think it's great that you are getting a PET scan...I want one as well and will be asking/begging for one.  I want everything I can get!  Once our radiation treatment is over I don't think they'll be wanting to see us as much.  LOL.  It's not that I'm lonely or anything..or that I don't have a busy life...I just think I should strike while the iron is hot, so to speak. 

Let's get all the exrays and scans done now so afterwards we don't have to think about it for one tiny weenie little second.  We can move forward and not keep looking back over our shoulders wondering if we should have had that one bone scan or pet scan or whatever.  This is such a crazy way to live but I know that you totally get what I mean.  Thanks.

Hi Ellen.  I don't think begging will hurt.  It doesn't cost anything and it will be on record that you asked for a specific thing...and if something happens later on that could have been avoided if you had been provided with the exray or scan that you specifically requested...well, then I am quite sure I would not want to be the Insurance Company that said "no" to your request!  Anyway, this is how I see it...but I've been told I wear rose colored glasses!  LOL.

Welcome all the new folks that I haven't had a chance to meet!  I hope you will find this place as comforting as we all do, it really is the place you can go at any time to connect with others who are in the same place as you.

Linda - I find myself living that denial all the time, glad to know that it is not just me.  Sometimes I just lie in bed and think about how this whole thing unfolded.   One min  you go in for an annual mammogram and the next min they are telling you that you need a biopsy.   I thought I was lucky that all of my tumors were less than a cm.  All of my docs thought that the dmx I had  chosen was overkill.  They are glad that I chose the dmx because I had a few micro-invasions in the fatty tissues around my lymph nodes and  it ended up being in 3 of my lymph nodes.   It is so weird to think that I have cancer.  I think what was one of my most defining moments in this whole thing was when my doctor looked at me and said that whether I have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy I still have breast cancer.   I was like wow... I have breast cancer.  That took me a few days to get my arms around.  But then I looked at my dh and two kids and knew the only thing I could do was just fight with all the tools given to me.  We call my case the 5% rule, every time there is a 5% or less chance of something being positive, it is in my case.  That includes being allergic to sutures...lol!

GP - Glad to have you back!

For those of you that had your auxilliary nodes taken out, two question:

1 - did they take all the fatty tissue around your nodes out also, because they did mine?  

2- how long did it take you to get back your range of motion?  I am two weeks out and it is killing me, been doing all the exercises I am suppose to but yesterday couldn't even put the card in the ATM with my left arm at the drive thru..ugh. 

Have a great night!

Laura: Great post.  Those thoughts in the night.  I'm with you.  You go for an annual, and boom.  Fight with all the tools with no regrets or worries about what you could have done.  Hang in there!

Laurie:  My biopsy experience was not pleasant.  They gave me a numbing agent, but not enough, and it HURT.  I ended up really bruised from the whole thing.  And it took quite awhile for the neck pain from lying in that awkward position to go away.  Sounds like you've got a good surgeon who will go over everything with you.  

The element of shock to the brain is why I'm still full of questions when I meet with my onc.  He's patient, and we go over the same ground at times, but I need that to comprehend everything that's happened since that routine mammo in Nov.  Some questions will never be answered, such as why did those cells go haywire in the first place, so I try not to dwell on those.

Wow-lot's of MSU fans out there-(ok, not lots, but some) Glad to see it. My husband and I are die-hard MSU fans (both of us went there).

 I get you gals who are posting on the "surrealness" (I'm pretty sure that's not an official word but hey!) of this whole thing. We told our kids about my cancer on 3/19. My kids are 11, 10, 9, and 7. They took it pretty well. My oldest became super chatty, typical her, and had a thousand things to say. The other 3 raised their hands (like in school) with questions. My sweet 7 year old said "I can't wait to see you bald!". Oh, out of the mouth of babes. This came after a very simple explanation of what was going on and the fact that we didn't really know what the plan was yet. By the time my boy (the 10 year old) got his chance to ask his question, he forgot what it was, and just wanted to go jump on the tramp. The next  day we went to see my parents, who had flown back from Florida to Michigan. My lovey Anya (the 9 year old) was at table with her cousin and said "My Mama has breast cancer". She then gave me a questioning look that said, "is that alright?". My kids are awesome!

Sorry, just gettin' chatty........:)

Thanks Teka- As everyone knows on ths site, the hardest part is waiting to see what the deal is, so we can move forward.

lauriez,

This week I started falling asleep without a nightly struggle to shut out thoughts of BC.   The human spirit can only handle so much negative crap.

KatieMom-

Am going to docs at Glendale Adventist.. my Gyne is there.. Dr Chan.  Shes the one I went to to say "check this lump out".. that was Jan 4th.  Since then all the docs/ treatments have been in / around that hospital.  Where are you having yours? I would love to get together.. I  know the pain of waiting for authorizations and such and I feel for you. If you are having radiation though I guess that means no chemo? sorry if I missed that part. Also sorry if I missed any other things related to why you are emptying your parents house

Sleepless night last night .. the first in a while. Guess I should have wished sweet dreams on myself. LOL  (So, please forgive the rambling)

Linda... I did the same thing.  I must have spent every waking minute on the internet - to the point that I was convinced I would be dead before the end of the year and had better start making a list of people to invite to the funeral.  Stan (now-husband) finally had to get me out of the house to get me away from the computer.

Perky .. bring the study with you to the surgeon and ask. Couldn't hurt ....

Linda (again) .. I wouldn't call cancer a blessing either, but it certainly has been a wake-up call to what is important and what is NOT. I live in Florida so have lived with several befores/afters as they relate to storms ("before Ivan" and "after Ivan" being the last big one for us)  and now I have BC (before cancer) and AD (after diagnosis) -- and I'm trying to approach it in the same way. 

With hurricanes, everything gets torn apart, you lose half (if not all) of your "stuff", spend hours on the phone with insurance companies and repair men -- while giving your boss/co-workers warning that "any minute" you may have to leave to meet with the people you hope can find time to fix your issue  --  and you roll up your shirt sleeves and do your best to put it back together even though each hurricane season you panic if you don't have a supply of water, food, gas etc. 

 With cancer, everything gets torn apart, you lose your hair and various bits and pieces of yourself, some of you friends, and all of your privacy.  You spend hours on the phone with insurance companies and doctors .. and give your boss/co-workers warning that "any minute" you may have to leave for yet another test, appointment, or procedure. I haven't reached the point of panic about follow-up visits yet, but I can just imagine how hard those must be ....

Speaking of friends... isn't it strange how some become closer at this time and some disappear? Anybody else have similar experience?  A year ago I would have said that my two closest friends would be my friends forever (I've known them over 15 yrs) and now I doubt that I will even be speaking to them next year.  

Everyone have a wonderful day ..

Mom2aej,

Hope you're doing OK.   TAKE CARE!

Hey, MSU fans.  I watched Magic back when I was in grad school at Ill.  Greg Kelser.  What a team.  Got to admit March Madness has completely passed me by this year, and that's with a die-hard Dukie DH. 

I was so in the sureal zone when I got my dx that I didn't read up, as I would normally do.  I was panicked about the surgery, which turned out to be no big deal compared to what so many of you have gone through.  As we face each new "storm" and weather it, we can go on to the next challenge, and that's true with the hair, too.  I miss my hair.  I notice others' hair.  But I am much more comfortable with its loss now.  I've worn my wig to my stuffy office until last week, when I said what the heck and started wearing scarves that are cooler.

Linda:  I loved the story of your interaction with your daughter. When my son called, after a college trip overseas, and we chatted a long time about it, it really touched my heart.  We never talked about cancer, just what he had seen and done.  I look forward to more chats when he can come home this summer.  I feel really stuck here, unable to see family that's 2,000 miles away.  Maybe a short trip to southern Utah's desert is in order.

Elen:  Speaking of friends--sure get you on that one.  I knew my sister wouldn't come through, but there are people at work who act like I'm a leper.  Others are kind and make up for the nit-wits.  You know the person who says, "I can't deal with (hospitals/death & dying)"  Sorry, you don't get a pass.  One gal I know checks in on me regularly, and she's one most would think has a prickly personality.  Such compassion is greatly appreciated.

And I'm left with memories of Legoland! 

Linda,

 Thanks! You understood what I was saying. You and a few people have calmed me down over that.

There are a few reports that say that the odds of cancer returning or spreading go way up if you have surgery during certain times of your cycle and of course, my surgery is the absolute worst time according to these studies. However,  I am very positive for both estrogen and progesterone so I have no idea that there is a time for me that is better. If you were mainly Estrogen positive, it makes sense.

Finally, if I have to wait any longer I wlll just implode. The waiting is just too hard.  So nevermind. Surgery is tomorrow. My fingers and toes are crossed and that is that.

Mom2aej,

Glad to hear you're doing good!