please help

Hey Nettie,  I know you have not quite yet mastered Facebook and you have been requesting a recent photo of Margo,  so here is one from this past Sunday - Margo and Roxie Bird watching

I totally agree Cathi, Nettie and Judie. If only people would attack the issues and not the people expressing them. Online discussions/comments are often so nasty because people feel anonymous. It's a bit like road rage - someone who is quite well-mannered in everyday life, gets into their car and then they have a personality change. Same with discussions on the internet - it's scary - so much hatred. I avoid discussing politics if I can. Argument rarely changes anyone's opinion - just causes bad feelings.

Had my yearly visit to the breast centre last Friday for mammo and U/S. Got the all clear. I always say that I'm not worried but I think that I do get uptight about it because I slept very badly the night before. This time the U/S really hurt. The tech was pressing down hard on cysts. I flinched and she told me to stay still. I gritted my teeth and was much relieved when it was over. Does anybody else find U/S painful? I'm sure I must be in the minority. Anyway, that's the last time I will be going to that breast centre because it's too far away and I will be going to a closer centre for my next annual check. The new one probably won't give results while I'm there. It's so good not to have to wait days to get the all-clear.

Judie - that's a great pic of Devin - he is such a handsome boy.

Nettie - my best wishes for an uneventful surgery and a quick recovery. Also, I hope your sweet niece has a good labour and birth. I love the names Lily and Rose - I remember they were on my list of girls' names when I was pregant with each of my sons! Please give Whisper a gently pat from me. He sounds like such a sweet boy.

Lisa - hope you have a fantastic time in Arizone with your sister. My sister is arriving on Thursday to stay with me for a few days. Haven't seen each other for nearly a year so I'm looking forward to seeing her - hugely!

(((((((Cheryl))))))) - you are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Karen, Sheila, Sue, UB & AE, Shirlann and everyone else - love to you all. 

Jane oxoxox

Jane my Ultra Sounds sometimes would be a bit uncomfortable,  sometimes to the point of slight pain,  my breasts were full of as one report said uncountable cysts,  thus like you said they pressed quite firmly on them,  I guess to help determine solid from cystic.  Thanks for the compliments on Ella and my fur babies.  Margo is a girl,  when she does lie in her chairs she actually crosses her front legs,  looks really cute.

Well Landen has his 24/Hr monitor on Wednesday he and Amanda must be at the hospital at 1PM, this will not be a good 24 hours I am sure.  We'll be watching Ella as SIL is putting much much overtime,  he found himself a great job  doing well sense he began months ago,  and I must admit he has quite a talent for auot painting does all the fancy stuff too.  They do seem to be doing better,  hoping their lifes together continue to improve - time will tell.

Wednesday is Ed's B'day,  Sunday is Amanda's so having friends/family over Saturday for a combo celebration -  so much to do,  so little time.  I can't really go out with Ella and do to much,  I just can not carry her infant seat and of coarse she is to little to sit in shopping carts yet. Oh well it will all get done  - somehow.

HAPPY DREAMS ALL.  xoxoxoxoxoxox

Cathi, why have you not told your daughters? I'm sure they would want to know so that they can be supportive.

Cathi love,

Look how long it took it for us to join up the the dots about your mets. How you tried to keep it to yourself. And saying it out loud - again - will be traumatic. But you just cannie keep it from the girls.

Have you spoke to the oncs about TENS? The good thing is that it doesn't interfer with other things. At worst, I had my wee sensors either side of my ruptured disc, the machine in my pocket, went to work and put it on when the pain became too bad to walk (or, at one point, breathe deeply) Not a cure, but it confuses the nerves transmitting the pain. Sciatic pain is so bad - it the the longest nerve in the body. Have you tried chiropracty (sp)?

I hate being weak too. I feel the world is moving around me and I am just sitting, sleeping etc.

Your girls wil be there for you, and possibly angry that you 'protected' them.

Hunners of hugs Cathi.

Nettie xxx

I second what Elaine said, Cathi.  There is nothing weak about you!  You've been so incredibly strong since finding out about your mets.  It amazes me!  I understand that you want to protect your girls, but don't you think they should know?  I know I'd be very upset if my mom kept something like that from me.  JMHO.  You'll know when the time is right.

I'm loving all the pictures.  Is Devin becoming more and more handsome, Judie?  I think so!!  The furbabies are too cute, Cathi.  And Ella!!!  What a little buddah!  I just want to eat her up!!

I just received a private message on FB from a very sweet lady who I went to high school with.  She just found out this morning that she has bootface.  It was caught very early, but she's still scared shitless and wants to meet me for lunch soon to pick my brain and find out what to expect.  God!!  I hate this stupid disease.  First my cousin, Kirsten (who is doing incredibly well--I'm so proud of her), and now Simone.  It's infuriating!!! 

Love and hugs to you all.  I'm so grateful to have you all in my life.

Karen

Oh Barbe you could never Piss me off,  as none of you dear ladies ever could. The girls do know I am dealing with pain and do know I am taking meds to ease it-  but as far as the WHY.  I have not uttered a word. I chalk it up to my Sciatica nerve,  which although it is not the whole truth its not a complete lie.

I hate days like today when there are things I really WANT to do,  and can hardly muster the will to get dressed. Most of the time I have my thoughts and feelings in check -  but these crap-crap-crappy days (and they always come when I have a poop load of things to do) make me nuts.  I try willing my self   - mind over matter thats I don't hurt -  THATS CRAP - LOL.

I know I know I know so heres how I really feel,  when the hell is the right time to tell your kids your most likely gonna die long before they thought you would.  I know thats not really how it is gonna  go down when the time is right,  but thats what I invision in my head sometimes-  STUPID HEAD.  I don't wanna cry on their shoulders,  I wanna kiss their hurts away,  I don't want things to change.  I so fear they will.   How come I can type it here and can't say it out loud.

$#$%^%$#$%

Karen so sorry about your friend.

Nettie I see onco Monday,  I will mention the TENS

Elanie  - XOXOXOXOXOXO

WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT ALL OF YOU.

Good point, Nancy. 

Nancy I have no doubt/question what the girls would do for me,  while Amanda was not here after MX, I know how good Jaclyn was,  and I know they would help,  but see thats the whole thing,  and I am sure this might not make sense,  but having them over for a leaf raking party -  because Ed and I are far to OLD (LOL) to do it all on our own,  is (to me) way diffrent then needing them to come over and clean my house because I CAN'T .  I am just being stupid today I know it's just one of those days.  BLAH-

Cathi, can you imagine if they held back the news of Landon, trying to "protect" you? You'd go mad! (and so would I!)

Anyway, when we told our kids about the breast cancer in the first place, they all realized our future demise might actually happen. When we acted normal since, it gets forgotten. Not a bad idea to play the cancer card every once in a while.....

Good ranting by the way!

Cathi, you are in no sense weak. You are one of the strongest woman I know. You will find the right time to tell your daughters but please tell them soon  so there won't be anymore arguments between you and them because they don't understand why you are so short tempered. I like the way Nancy suggested you tell them.

Sheila

Oh Barbe I was gonna say something naughty regarding Playing with Ed as today is his B'day - but I'll be good, 

Elaine THANK YOU.  You are Sooooooooooooooooo right,  and I have always known and believed espically sense BC he was in the drivers seat no matter what -  but somedays I don't really like the roads he takes.

But today is much better,  as we were headed up to get Ella I was thinking well hell if I have to deal with one really bad /painful day a week,  then so be it,  the 6 others will be tolerable and thats all I ask , I'll try harder to give myself that one day - 

Ed's working hard in the back yard to get ready for Saturday,  we can not get grass to grow there no matter what we do,  and we have so many trees -  oh the leaves and pollen this time of year.  He's getting his MAN GRILL ready -  for mega chicken grilling-  he's such a good griller.  Friday I expect to be cooking all day - so see that was God's plan,  to force me to rest Tuesday so I would have the strength for Ella today and Thursday and our B'day celebrations on Saturday.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO