January Mastectomy

Morning Sisters!!! I am so glad that so many of us are coming along... moving ahead....Everyone one of us has something different... My thoughts and prayers are with all of US..

I hope everyones enjoying the weather... Spring is here a time for change... So they say...

Feeling a little better today .. But have Chemo head.....Fuzzy.... This to shall pass... Right now no aches and pains... Cooking a big dinner for my daughter goes back to Cortland this afternoon.. I will make extra for her to take back up with her.... Nothing like home food.

{{{HUGS}}}

Marianne-sorry to hear about your husband leaving on Friday.  I think you have the right attitude about it, though.  You're right-the house will sell eventually.  And I applaud you for participating in the clinical trial!  I too suffer from depression (for years), so this whole process has really brought me down.  My meds keep my head above water most days-thank God.  My really down moments come from thinking about how long this whole process is going to take.

Maria!  I'm so sorry for what you're going through!  I hope they get the test results back quickly, and provide you with some answers.  June will come soon enough, and you'll be all healed and ready to go by then.  Sending you a big hug from AZ!

I hope everyone is having good weather, and has a terrific Sunday!

Gina and Maria:  I'm so glad to hear from both of you and you are doing a little better.  Maria, I know it is a huge set-back and Gina sure can sympathize while I can only emphathize since I still have mine in.  I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.  I know everyone on this thread is pulling for both of you to come though soon to the "downhill" side of the journey we've been thrown into.

Marianne:  I hope the clinical trial goes well and you'll have to keep us posted on what you think about it.  I know depression and a cancer diagnosis can definitely go hand in hand.  I used to wake up in the night crying sometimes.  Now I wake up because of Tamox and want to cry because I can't sleep all night.

It is a pretty day in Colorado with sun again.  Glad that snow went out quickly.  Hope everyone is havaing a nice and quiet restful Sunday. 

For everyone with appointments this week may they be productive and healing and pain-free!

Laura - Wow ! Sounds like quite a weekend for you and DH.  I am so glad that you are finally able to let him see and comfort you.  It will all get easier now.  Good for you Laura - that is huge step !

Maria and Gina - I hope that you have been able to talk.  I hope that you are both feeling better this week {{{hugs}}}

Kat, Donna, and Laura - Can you believe it - 8 weeks !!!!  I find it so very hard to believe that it has only been 8 weeks, it seems like a life time ago.  I guess in someways it was a lifetime ago.  We were forced out of our peaceful, unaware, safe BC world and thrown to the wolves.  Of couse, we are strong woman, so we landed on our feet.  I don't know if I would have landed so safely, had it not been for this board.  My January sisters, you have been such a blessing and an inspiration to me, I thank God each day for leading me to you. 

As always, all my love and hugs and prayers, my January sisters  !!!!

Strength and Courage !

Never Surrender !

Sally 

Sally it does seem like a lifetime ago...hard to believe it's just 8 weeks since our surgery.  I agree completely with you that this group has been such an inspiration....I feel like I have a safe place to come and talk about anything without fear.....and I also learn so much from each person.

Kat hope all goes well for your husband tomorrow....

Continued wishes for healing to Maria and Gina ...talk about strength......

I've just come back from my PS.  He put 60cc's in one side and 120cc's in the other side.  He had put 60cc's less in one side a few fills ago when healing was a little slower on the right than the left, now I'm all even-steven.  I am now 480cc's...I didn't realize that I had 120cc's put in at the time of surgery.  Sounds huge to me but because I have a very wide chest wall it really doesn't look any bigger than a B.  I took the advice of many and took a photo in of what I hoped to look like when everything is finished.  He said that he would do one more fill in two weeks, reminding me that he over fills before he does the exchange to give the new foob a natural look I found a great site of reconstructed breasts....here's the link to the one I brought into my PS.

I hope to look like the "after" or close to it..... 

http://www.theplasticsurgerygroup.net/photo-gallery/details.cfm?IMAGEID=1839&ID=750&startrow=1

So only one fill to go

Healing and Strength to all,

Laura 

Paula,

You look great!!!!   I wouldn't be surprised if they offered you a job!

By the way, I can't believe that it has only been 7 weeks since my bilat Mx!  Met with a personal trainer today and am embarking on a new fitness (including weight bearing and strength training) and nutrition routine.  Also was notified that I was "accepted" into the clinical trial for breast cancer and depression....not that I'm feeling depressed now.  Got a manicure and a pedicure and feel like I'm ready to take charge of my health!

The left TE is still causing more discomfort than the right and so I am re-thinking post-poning the exchange surgery.  May opt to do it end of May!  By the way, the personal trainer I am working with is a woman and she has worked with many women who have implants (submuscular).

Prayers and blessings to all,

Marianne

Paula, you're adorable!  And, you look amazing!  I'm so happy you're getting to be the size you always dreamed of!

Laura, I could only take so much of that link...thanks for posting it but it's making me ill today for some reason.  Maybe I'm overdoing it and working way to hard (which I am)  I'm glad your fills are going well and everyone seems to be getting dates.  I've just got a date for jury duty which I've got to get out of...I've missed so much work as it is, if I come forth with jury duty I might be toast.  Maybe Friday I'll have my PS give me an excuse.  I hate to exploit breast cancer but I may have to. 

I'll be glad for a day off tomorrow even it means I have to sit there and pat my DH hand and go 'there there dear...'  Thanks for all your well wishes.  He says sure we don't have a pink ribbon or anything but Entropion is a disease too!  I say, you have a ribbon honey...you have a paper tape ribbon!  hahahaha  That's what I've been pulling his skin down from his lower lid and securing it to his cheek with for the past month.  We go to the PS and everyone thinks we're there for him...poor guy though really, he's having quite the time.  I hope this works for him but I know he's scared. 

I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since we had a bad case of the Monday's.  Sally, you are so right....I know we would have landed on our feet but I'm not sure we wouldn't have sprained an ankle or something without this board!  I am in a constant state of gratitude for the positive effects you have all had on me!

Hang in there Gina and Maria! 
Have a good one all!
Kat

Marianne, I am so jealous, a personal trainer!  I don't think my little po-dunk town even has a personal trainer, not that I can afford one.  But that sounds awesome.  I was trying to find anyone that had experience working with recovering BC patients, but haven't really found anyone in this area (PT, Massage, Personal Trainers, or even support groups!).  Oh well, I just need to get off my butt (and this computer) and get out there and do something!  Need to build up my arm strength again so that I can golf and other things this summer!  I am sooooo weak!  My problem is that I am afraid to do anything to strength train because I don't know what will affect my pecs (not real good with anatomy)...  Also, I am lazy!

Kat:  Don't do too much, we are still recovering, take it easy at work and with your DH.  Hope his surgery goes well today!  My DH has a hernia that he is putting off seeing a doctor about because he doens't want me to have to take care of him right now.  He is planning on doing it this year some time since I've already met the family deductible for the year!  Just don't know when.  He is a farmer and planting season is just around the corner, plus my surgery....  Poor guy, I told him to go ahead and have it done a few weeks back but he won't until I am completely done and healed.

Burley:  Hope you are feeling better today... I know that my first 2 fills hurt so bad, it was so wierd with this last one when I hardly had any real pain.  Mine are always rock hard.  I have my last small fill next week, so excited to be done witht his part!  

Laura, you too with the fills!  I have no advice for the arm pit pain...  other then probably stretching, that seems to be the magic potion for everything!  We are both at our last fills (soon), so excited!  Do you have your exchange date yet?  Mine is April 16th and I cannot wait!

Well, I am coloring my hair and the timer went off a few minutes ago, so I guess I'd better wrap this up and go rinse!  Good day to all!

Paula

Paula,

First - the personal trainer was not expensive....Lord knows with all the co-pays and out of pocket medical expenses none of us have a lot of extra (if any) money.  I also live in a very small town (though I am 30 miles from Knoxville).  The fitness center is less than a mile away and I happened upon it simply by chance.  The instructor is from an even smaller town about 20 miles away and only works there 3 days a week.  Sometimes I am sure that people are just put in our path on purpose.  This was a God-send!  Also, found a thread out there called "What bad thing can happen to implants if you do weight training?"....a great thread with a lot of positive people who have successfully gone through fitness training.  (Note:  what color is your hair -- I'm wondering with the Hooter's t-shirt, did you do something drastic like bright red?  I once had a hairdresser tell me that when women's lives are out of control, they color their hair.  I guess it's our way of "controlling" something!

Kat, thinking of you today and hoping everything goes well for your husband.

Kim and others with TE's:  I have come to accept that the fills are going to be bothersome; that the TEs are going to feel like there it something heavy and foreign there.  Just trying to get through it...I keep thinking about how far we've come and we certainly have to be nearing the home stretch. 

Because I was one of the last to have the Bilat Mx, I think I may also be one of the last to have the exchange surgery....so I am praying for all my brave exchange surgery sisters to lead the way.

Prayers for strength,

Marianne

Morning Ladies !

{{{Donna}}}   

Paula - you look wonderful !  Much to young to be a grandma

Marianne - sometimes it does seem as if people are put in our path for a reason.  Enjoy your trainer !

Kat - I echo Paula, don't do to much.  I hope DH is doing well.

Maria and Gina - How are you two doing?

I have also been trying to get some exercise going.  I started walking a couple of weeks after surgery.  I was only able to go about 1.5 miles, and I was so slow.  I am up now to about 5 miles, and my pace is pretty good.  My DIEP removed my tummy fat, so that has been a HUGE incentive to get the rest of me back in control.  

I spent the morning yesterday matching up my EOBs and dr bills.  My BS portion of the surgery was approx $7,000, my PS $40,000, the hospital portion $164,000  !!!   So, my total will end up being well over $200,000 when all is said and done.  The only good news is that I have now hit my out of pocket max, so everything else is covered 100%. 

Guess what I noticed yesterday ? and confirmed today ??  I have fluid in my abdomen again. I can see and feel it swish when I push.   I can not believe this.  I am beyond irritated now.  We even waited to pull that drain until it was under 20cc for 5 days!!!!!!  UGH. Oh well, very minor in the scope of things I guess. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.   

Love ya ladies !

Sally 

Kim, so sorry that they are giving you such a hard time.  I can honestly say though that it does get better (although I am not doing chemo, so I could be all wet).  But if you read back a few pages, I was complaining so much after my second fill, I was miserable and nothing was helping and I thought maybe I wasn't going to be able to stick it out, but then after this last fill (100 cc's on each side again), there was like nothing!  No pain, no serious tightness, nothing, weird, but it was like my muscles finally said, "Okay, fine, we'll give!", now I feel almost normal, they are still hard and look like coconuts on my chest, so in some clothes look a little strange, but for the most part, I feel good.  So, hopefully your day is coming!  I am getting so used to these coconuts that I might just be a little disappointed in the looks of the implants, a slight droop and not nearly as firm, which I know will be a good thing, YIPPEE SQUISHY!!!!  Anyway, have you tried stretching at all, that seems to help a lot.  Having said all of that, the nights are still hard, the laying on the back thing just really hurts and is not comfortable, but I am able to sleep in bed and some on my sides.  Here's hoping that you are able to rest better tonight!

Bless & Release!

Paula

Got my last fill today!  I am so excited to have an exchange date of 4/26.  I really wanted to give up at 350cc but hung in there and got 450 total and my PS will be putting in a 500cc implant.  My left side is really painful right now but I can't help but keep smiling anyway knowing these babies will be replaced with some nice soft implants in 5 short weeks.  We have all come a long way!  

Have a great night everybody!

Hi girls,

Hubby is doing well.  He's very black and blue and swollen....but, he's extremely compliant so that is helpful with the ice regime and keeping his head higher than his heart. I just can't even take another day off tomorrow to care for him so I'll run home at noon and then have my 16 year old take her turn after school. 

Speaking of my 16 y.o. (17 in June) she wants to study nutrition with a minor in exercise science when she goes to college.  She works at the community center now and loves the whole personal trainer idea.  She's just afraid she won't make any money at it, hence her desire to be an RD.  She's got just enough engineer in her to make that work I'm thinking.  (he dad is an engineer, not me...in case that needed clarifying.  lol)   Anyway, she's been trying to get me to let her design a program for me...I would have my own personal trainer, and it's literally across the street.  What am I waiting for? 

Sally, how horrible... maybe the doctor can just tap your abdomen and drain the fluid.  That can be a double edged sword though as it could promote your body to make more fluid....unless!  You lay very low for a couple of days and see if that helps.  I wonder what his thoughts are on a diuretic...probably not...mess up too many other things.  Forget that.

Laura, it's ok on the link.  I should have just stayed there and looked at your favorite style.  I guess I'm on breast cancer overload.  I should join the clinical trial with Marianne!  I'm almost happy with the TE's and would actually consider keeping them in a little longer.  I'm with Paula, I like how they look (not horrible) and they sag just ever so slightly like a natural breast and I'm afraid I'm going to end up with 2 tennis balls in there that stick straight up when I lay flat on my back!  The exchange surgery is so permanent.  I think I want to make sure I am 100% sure I like what's going on.

Oh, and to those with underarm pain...I have been using CVS scar tape on my axillary node dissection incision.  If you have a small incision under your arm either from the SNB or like mine (3 inches long) this tape is the bomb!  It's almost too good...today I forgot to replace it (you change it every 3 days) and I actually had more underarm pain than I've had in a long time.  I guess it might be good to have a little discomfort as it may be more self limiting but the scar tape sure gives me the comfort and security that I'm not bothered at all.  Plus, the bonus is, the scar is almost completely faded away.  Amazing stuff. 

I hope I sleep well tonight...I awoke at 0300 worried about today so I'm really tired now.  Of course he gets to do all the sleeping so we shall see! 

Enjoy your evening everyone!
Kat

Wow ... so much going on, I won't even begin to name names.  To those of you with TE's, may your pain be short-lived.  How exciting that many of you are so close to your exchange dates!  I'm at least a year away from even thinking about reconstruction, so for now, I will enjoy my foob.  Kat - glad your husband is doing well.  It just seems that we keep getting things piled on, doesn't it?  And Paula -- some people don't want to know, because if they pretend it isn't something serious, it just might go away.  For some, ignorance is bliss.  I was talking with a co-worker today who said she almost didn't have a mammogram this year because she was afraid -- her best friend went through chemo and radiation from breast cancer, and she didn't want to face that.  She realized that was silly and she came out clear. 

Round #2 of chemo for me tomorrow.  Still holding on to my hair, but I'm beginning to show signs of male pattern baldness.  Oh well.

Faithie:  May your appoinjtment go very well and your soul be bright tomorrow!

To everyone who finished fills:  Hooray!  It is so thrilling!  Now you can heal and get ready for the exchange and "yipee squishy!"

May everyone have a peaceful night and healing restful sleep!