Why do I "need" $$$ silicone breastforms?
I've been mulling this over for the better part of a week now, but maybe there's something I'm missing?
I had a BMX, no recon, on Feb 1st. When I went to the (one and only) mastectomy shop in my area -- they have 3 locations, two of them in hospitals and one storefront, but it's the same ownership -- I more or less assumed that the "normal" breastform option was some kind of silicone. And that's what I ended up getting, which is the Amoena #442, Essential Light 2S, Size 4. Since I have no insurance, those forms cost me $300 each = $600. Plus $40 each for a couple of Classique 469 bras which were the only ones I found remotely comfortable. And as I mentioned in the "exercise bra" thread, I find it odd that the underarm ends of the breastforms stick out of the pocket so much. I didn't know until reading Barbara's response that this isn't necessarily a given thing in a bra!
Here's why I'm questioning the whole "expensive breastform" idea now. I've discovered in the weeks since my surgery that I am absolutely 100% comfortable with going flat when at home, which is where I spend most of my time. I do not currently work, and won't be able to for at least the next year, and so the only time I spend out in public is to do various errands which I've calculated take up no more than 12-15 hours out of a typical week. I live where a coat or jacket is required for 6 months of the year, which means nobody can tell if I'm flat underneath or not. The only time I'd want to wear it would be from April to early October which is when I'll be wearing my printed tops and tee shirts (I am a completely casual-wear, no makeup gal of 60) and only so that I'd have some kind of "expected" bulges in the "expected" places. And we're talking about an A/B cup here... certainly not anything that would normally attract attention!
All this makes me seriously question why the heck I "need" to spend $600 dollars on something that I'll be wearing for such a relatively short amount of time. Now that I've seen the various sites for bras and clothing I know there are less expensive and quite possibly more comfortable ways for us to look more as society expects. Especially when I'm so much more physically comfortable without wearing that (to me) heavy-feeling thing in front. But is there some other reason why these silicone forms seem to be the norm? Am I missing something or have I just fallen victim to a really good advertising campaign??
Any insights and thoughts greatly appreciated. The mastectomy shop has a 60-day return policy and I am thisclose to going there on Tuesday (they're closed on Mondays) and returning those forms. At a time when money is beyond tight, $600 is a lot to spend on something that I'm having trouble finding a good reason for buying ... unless there are other reasons that I don't know about!
Comments
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Hi, Lovemg.
I would never have spent the money, if my insurance hadn't paid for them. And having tried at least 4 different styles of "foobs", I have decided that I don't need them. Any of them. Having to wear a bra is never comfortable for me. The silicone and gel forms are heavy, and the light-weight ones tend to ride up on me. Besides, just about everyone I knew 4 years ago knows I had a bilat mast for BC, and so no one has expectations of me with boobs. I am quite comfortable without them, and I have found clothes I enjoy wearing that don't need them (no darts, et c.) You might check out the thread just a few down from this one on "Wardrobe pics for boobless days". Quite a few of us have found our new selves to be happy most or all the time without forms of any kind. I hope you can return the expensive ones, and if you decide you want something, check out Barbara's non-profit website BreastFree.org. There are much less expensive alternatives!
Dawn
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Take them back - you spent way too much for something that does not make you happy! Six weeks post surgery seems too soon to be deciding what is comfortable. I couldn't stand anything touching the skin over the surgery site (caused a burning sensation) for a couple of months. I worked on getting my range of motion back & hid in a big bulky sweatshirt ( I also live in a cold climate). I think my summer wardrobe solution will be a strapless moulded cup bra with some home made filling in the empty cup. This wouldn't work for everyone but, I'm small & never had much to project anyway. Spend your money on what you really need or makes you happy. Good luck with your know-it-all fitter!
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i've only spent about 11 dollars..
i go flat (i am flat on my remaining side). At the fabric store, they have gel inserts for bras.. i tape them in. I made a poofy out of netting for my swim suit.
i wear light silk tank tops under my nonclingy clothing.. i am totally comfortable and no one dare say 'oh - you look flat on one side'. At least not yet.
Diagnosis: 5/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIc, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER+ -
Hi
I had a single mx 2 years ago. I dutifully went to the mast shop right after my surgery ( at my 1 week post surgery visit my surgeon said I was ready to go) I got the form; took another year to find a mast bra that fit - used the form inside a regular bra before that. Now though, I find I wear neither. I find the form awkward and I just don;t wear it anymore. There are one or two times a year when I get dressed up and feel I need it, but otherwise it stays in the box in my drawer. I did purchase a small foam exercise form online ( way cheaper than at the shop), but I don't even bother with that anymore. I don't think anyone even notices- it helps that I am small busted. If you still feel like returning it do so. You may be just as comfortable without and feel better about the money. There are cheaper foam alternatives if all you want to do is fill the top of a particular outfit.
While the forms help many to feel more comfortable and "normal"- not everybody does. Do what seems right for you
Trish
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I have foobs for special occasions. I have worn them 3, maybe 4 times in three years. You don't need them.
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I also think you should take them back. Some women feel comfortable going flat. If you don't, do some internet shopping - I've heard other women say the prices are much more reasonable.
Leah
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You don't need them, especially if you don't like them. I'm 2 years out from my bilat with no recon and I still haven't gotten around to getting some foobs. There is a provincial plan that will cover some of the cost and my insurance will pay, but it just doesn't matter to me.
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Yup, I agree- take them back. If you find that you really want a pair this summer, you can always buy them at that time.
My little size 2 forms are fairly comfortable, but I still really look forward to the weekends where I usually go bra-less a majority of the time.
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Even if you want the exact same forms, you can buy them much more cheaply on the Internet. The local boutiques charge such high prices because most women have insurance so aren't price-sensitive (a good example of what's wrong with our health care system). A quick Internet search led me to this site, with the same forms at $349.60 per pair: http://www.metromedicalonline.com/amoena442.html. There may be even better prices out there.
Also, did your fitter even have you try one of the newer forms, like the Natura Light, which helps with perspiration? I'd say absolutely return your forms, then do some more research and if you still feel they were a good choice, buy them for only a little more than half the price online!
Barbara
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Well, I am just about ready to kick myself in the derriere right now, because I took out the receipt from the mastectomy boutique for the forms and bras... and I was wrong about the return policy. Their return policy is that forms must be returned within 7 days.. not 30 days. And since I bought them on February 17th (my surgeon said that I could be fitted for them after 2 weeks since I healed on the outside so well, and I was determined to take care of as much as possible before starting my chemo this coming week, so I rushed) I am way past the 7-day limit. So it looks like I am stuck with an expensive mistake. :-(
I was also wrong about the price: They were $325 each, not $300. I've been inundated with so many cancer-related bills this past month that I can't always recall how much was for which thing. So the forms cost me $650, not $600... talk about adding insult to injury.
Barbara, the fitter did show me the Natura Light but also said they would cost almost $100 more than the Essentials ones, so I didn't think they'd be worth it just for the difference in material in an area that wasn't going to touch my skin anyway.
Now about the bras.... what I remembered as being the 30-day return policy is only for bras. BUT... there is a kicker... they are only returnable if all the original tags are still attached. Which are the tags that I naturally removed after getting the bras home and hand-washing them in advance of first use. So I can't return those either.
I can only hope that someone new to this site reads this and finds in it a cautionary tale, so that at least some good can come from my very expensive mistake! -
Someone on another thread was mentioning the prosthesis sold at www.janacsportswear.ca I sent them an email to make sure they could be returned if I didn't like them and she said they could. So, I ordered a couple today. $55 each. Kind of like beanbags, and can be used in swimsuits. Maybe another option somebody might want to check out. (A BC survivor started the company. They also sell sportbras to exercise in.)
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I don't know if anyone needs expensive prosthesis regardless of how they are made. Those that are a uni may need to be fitted to match the remaining breast and internet purchasing may not be practical the first time. We that are bilats may have it easier to purchase over the internet. Many types of prosthesis are available. I did choose silicone as I want the weight as light weight forms tended to let my bra ride up. I was and am a DDD and would be mortified to be seen without my prosthesis. I know my boobs are false but most do not and I can wear everything in my wardrobe that isn't curt to low. No one solution fits everyone and if it costs me a few hundred dollars to maintain my image I am willing. This is not to say I am right and others are wrong. Just my thoughts as what I feel is right for me. The important thing is we are alive regardless of our difference in whether we want to be flat or not. The best to everyone going through this horrible disease.
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HI Faith. I wrote about the Been a Boob on another site from Janac Sportsear. Before I had my recon I wore it a lot. Actually I ended up wearing it more than my silicone one for a number of reasons. It was moldable, took the shape of the bra cup as did my real boob so it looked more natural. When I wore a swimsuit it didin't need special care and when I lay on a chaise it changed shape like my real 54 year old boob. Likewise in a sportsbra....I didn't have one perky book and one squashed boob. The price was great and if I had found it first I wouldn't have bothered with the expensive one. It also had enough weight to keep my bra from sliding up.
I'm glad you are checking it out. I know I was very pleased with it.
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lovemygarde...
sigh.. that is an expensive mistake. I don't think you can return the bras but I would think that a nice, pleading letter would allow you to get a refund on the forms. They really shouldn't charge you 'insurance' prices and if nothing else should give you a partial refund, especially if you return the forms.
I have had good luck by following up phone requests with a letter.. nicely and politely worded with the confidence that you are 'right'. I think if you get to the right person,..................... I think it is wrong to a company to profit from anguish..
Also thanks for the link to www.janacsportswear.ca Faith
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The Been-a-Boob is interesting! I guess for sizing I would be a "6" in the triangular shape. A question for those who have one: How would you say they compare to both silicone and foam as far as weight? Are they about midway been those two types? Because to me the silicone ones seem to weigh a ton, while the fiberfill pouffies that came with my post-surgical camisole have barely enough substance to them to keep their shape.
I have a 'wrist rest' bag next to my computer that has those little bean type things inside a leatherette cover; I'd guess it's just a little bigger than a Been-a-Boob might be. So I just now held the wrist-rest in one hand and the Amoena silicone foob in the other; surprisingly, they seem to be about the same weight, with the wrist-rest possibly a tad heavier. Jan, would you agree with that or do you think the B-a-B is lighter than the silicone? -
Lovemygarden -- On that Janac Sportswear website, they show the regular Been a Boob and then a lighter version that I think was called Been a Boob light. There is also a page on there that tells you the weight of them. I ordered one of each so I can see if I like one better than the other and then I'll return whichever one I don't want. (I think the round one is the one they recommend for a mastectomy patient.)
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Hi Faith, I checked out the weight list on the Been a Boob site and I also remembered that I have a digital postal scale so I weighed one of the Amoena Essentials Light silicone forms. It weighs 6.2 ounces. If I'm reading the B-a-B size chart correctly, I would be a "Size 2, 6" " ; the chart says it's 5.50 oz which is 7/10 of an ounce lighter than the silicone one. But it says that size is not available in the "Light" version.
I am curious as to why they suggest a round B-a-B instead of the triangular ("heart") one which I would think would fit better into the bra pocket. After all, the typical breastform which fits into a mastectomy bra pocket is a triangular shape, so what's the logic of having the B-a-B in a round shape instead? Just trying to visualize what purpose the round one serves over the triangular one.
I realized today that I was looking at the original item-order date on the mastectomy shop's breastform receipt (Feb 17th) instead of the day that I actually went to get them, which was March 3rd. That's the date that I paid for (charge card receipt is dated 3-3-10) and got them. So their 7-day return period expired last Wednesday, March 10th. They are closed on Sundays and Mondays, so tomorrow (March 16th) is the soonest I can go there and see if they will agree to a return. IMO I am only three days past their "return period" because the store is closed on Sundays and Mondays, at least at the location where I bought them. It will be interesting to see if they will be a stickler about the 7 days or not. For $650 it is certainly worth a try! They open at 10:30 and I plan to walk through the door at 10:35, forms and receipt in hand... wish me luck!! -
Ditto - take them back and use the money on something to make you feel good. Maybe a nice piece of jewlery or towards a vacation. I had just turned 50 the week before my last day of chemo, so on the drive home I walked into a jewelry with my bald head and bought a ruby ring. It is on my finger as I type.
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I have both types of boobs. I originally had the one mast and got the bean a boob so I wouldn't be lopsided. When I had the other mast I got the matching bean a boob. Seemed like a logical and economical solution. However, as my real breasts were large, the bean a boobs (original one to match real one) were also quite large. And heavy.
Fast forward almost 2 years. I saw a top that I really wanted to wear to a wedding. But it needed boobs. So I decided to get some nice small, light silicone ones. I do prefer them as they are smaller but I have only worn them a couple of times. I prefer going 'boobless'.
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Glad to read all of your opinions.....had my BMX on 1/6/10..no reconstruction....still haven't been fitted. Worried about making the right choice. Insurance will help pay - they will pay 80% now that I've met my deductible, but that's still $$. I'm comfy right now going flat, but like many of you, know that some outfits will need some filling out....
blessings..robin
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lovemygarden - I hope you were successful in getting a refund. If not, maybe donate them to a non-profit or charity and take a tax deduction? Good luck!
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groundhog: Would you believe that was my first stop in the 7 hours of Errands from H*ll today. The fitter I first saw was not in today and neither was the boss/owner. After being there almost an hour the gal who was there took the foobs and my credit card information, said she'd speak to the boss later, and call me back to let me know if/when the refund was processed. I never heard from them and was running around too much with other things to follow up. I'll call them Thursday (no way will I do it tomorrow on first chemo day!) if I don't have any message on my cell and if my credit card company doesn't say a refund was processed.
I'm hoping that since they kept the forms and didn't say I had to take them back home with me while waiting for the owner's answer, that's a good sign. I did make sure she knew I'm starting chemo tomorrow and would not be able to go driving around hither and yon for awhile! Coincidentally this gal had BC seven years ago, Stage III, ER and PR negative/HER2 positive ... was on AC followed by Taxol + Herceptin followed by Herceptin. Fifteen months in all. And she looks great today! -
Good luck lovemygarden with your chemo tomorrow. It won't be as bad as you are probably imaging today! What chemo will you be having? Drink lots of liquids when you get home. I liked having Italian ice in the days following chemo. Now I am on daily oral chemo and for me it has been a lot easier than the infusions I took in 2008- 09.
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Faith, I'm getting Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks, then Herceptin alone every 3 weeks for the next 9 months. So 1 year total. Check out the March 2010 Chemo thread for my "reaction drama"!
Update on the foobs: Had a message last night from the fitter saying that because I "had worn the forms" they could not take them back. I called her this morning to explain that other than at the fitting itself, the only other time I'd worn them was when I got dressed for my lunch on the 10th and discovered that the weight of them caused the bra strap to hit my port every time I moved. So at most I was wearing them what, maybe 5 minutes??
She said she'd have to discuss it further with the boss/owner who "will not be available until next Wednesday" (???? there's this newfangled invention called the telephone, you know...) and she will get back to me with a final answer then.
So the refund situation is still in limbo for awhile... -
lovemygarden -- That sucks. When you go to the fitter, you put one on and if it doesn't fit, they put another one on you. If that one doesn't fit, they put another one on you. They don't make you buy all of those. But you "wore" them, too. I hope they will help you out. At the very least, like someone else mentioned, if they won't give you a refund, donate it to the American Cancer Society or some such group and claim it on your taxes as a charitable donation. If you do this, make sure they give you a receipt for proof for your taxes.
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I just had a couple of comments about silicone forms.
1. Silicone is very 'huggable'. If I am wearing non-silicone, I am very careful to avoid hugs outside my own household. I always wear silicone to lunch dates and meetings where hugging is the norm.
2. Silicone stays warm. Now, this can be a disadvantage during warm weather (sweating). But, silicone feels more real than other forms I have because the silicone acclimates to my body temperature. I do not know if a smaller form retains heat the same way as a larger one does.
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dancingneedles,
I agree that silicone is the most lifelike. The smaller forms feel warm, just like the larger ones. I recommend an Amoena Climate, an Anita Tritex, or a Silique Comfort Lite to avoid perspiration behind the form (all these silicone forms use fabric on the back to minimize perspiration). Also the Amoena Natura Comfort + claims to be cooler against the skin. I've heard some good reports about it, but haven't tried it myself.
There are a couple of forms available that aren't silicone and are still huggable. I like the Still You Illusions and the Still You Fiber Filled Pads. My DH has done the hug test with me and says you'd never know . . .
I review all of these more fully on my non-profit website, BreastFree.org, in the Breast Forms section.
Barbara
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When I wore PALs I felt like they were pretty life-like, because I had dense breasts before, and they were fairly firm. The silicone forms seemed too soft, and they drooped too much. Just my opinion. I don't wear any forms now.
Dawn
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I am so happy that Been-A-Boobs are being discussed. It's great feedback and I am always open to new ideas, so feel free to e-mail me at janet@janacsportswear.ca with any thoughts and suggestions. I am considering making a BAB with only microbeads, there won't be any weight to it at all, so I'm not sure if there really is a market for it. I'm thinking they would be good for immediately after surgery, and for use in leisure/nightwear but any feedback would be great.
I was diagnosed the first time in 1995, and the 2nd time in 2009. I am now bi-lateral and a lot of the time I do go braless & Been-a-Boobless, but sometimes I need them to help with my self-esteem. I admire those ladies who go boobless all the time.
For those who are interested, the name Been-A-Boob comes from - "it's going where a Boob has Been" some people think it is Bean-a-boob and that there are beans in there, I have been asked if the beans will sprout if washed!!!!!
To lovemygarden, we make the triangle (heart) shape in size 3 (there is a mistake on the website and doesn't show that size) so if you want to order one or just want more information, just e-mail or call me 1-866-290-0821. The reason we don't make size 3 in a lighter version is because we feel that the sizes 1-3 are fairly light anyway, and breasts do weight something. The smaller ones are similar to the silicone ones in weight, but they are much more comfortable, don't make you sweat and are cheaper.
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Quick update: Finally got a call from the store today, telling me they are going to accept the return and credit my card for the $650. Whew!
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