Advice for my Mom

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Stillshell
Stillshell Member Posts: 14
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I am caring for my Mom.  She is 55 years old.  She was just diagnosed with BC and is starting chemo on Monday.  We don't know the exact stage, as they haven't done the masectomy yet.  We were supposed to meet with the doctor yesterday but couldn't because of a blizzard.  I have a couple questions and was hoping you all could help me out.

 She has Invasive Ductal Cell Carcinoma

3 tumors in one breast

5 lymph (have been checked and are positive)

The skin is puckered and dimpled

Bone scan came up CLEAR!!!!

1.  Is it normal for them to start chemo  before the surgery?

2.  Is it best for my Mom to move in with me, but on flip side I have four little kiddos (won't she be exposed to a lot of germs??)

Thanks for any advice.

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited March 2010

    stillshell,

    they are starting chemo most likely to shrink the tumors...they do that often to get the chemo started to take out the cancer.  after chemo; they do the surgery.

    good that the bone scan is clear

    the decision to have your mom move in with you is really between the two of you.  if you are close by...you can still check on her. lots of people work during chemo...socialize..the chemo's side effects are different for everyone....usually fairly predictable.  does she have friends near by? the doctor will moniter her immune system; and if she is low on white blood cells....or red blood cells..they can give her shots for that to boost her system. 

    have your mom join our group. lots of support and she can ask questions as she goes through this. she is NOT alone and neither are you.

    i am sure some other people will come in and also provide you with some info and support. there are many of us survivors out there...i was 49 when diagnosed and now i am 57/  your mom will get through this and so will you.

    diana50

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  • Texas357
    Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited March 2010

    I agree with Diana. You might want to keep the "moving in with you" an option should your mom need it during chemo. Everyone reacts differently. Some effects may be cumulative so she might need more of your help towards the end of her chemo.

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  • Stillshell
    Stillshell Member Posts: 14
    edited March 2010

    Thanks for your responses.  I have suggested this site and sent a link to my Mom.  But all the terms, and lingo scare her.  She is single and just moved from California to 15 miles away from me.  I want her to join here so I'll keep encouraging her. 

    Thanks again for your hope and positive responses.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2010

    I would wait and see how she does. The effects are cumulative, so at the beginning you are only down for a couple of days, and then the rest of the time you are OK until the next round. 

    I would really ask her how she would feel moving in - it might be nice for her to have all the kids around to take her mind off things, or she might just want to be in her own place, with her own things. 

    I have two little kids, and I did end up getting sick at the very end.  We were pretty careful with hand washing, etc, but you are right, it is hard to totally avoid germs.

    I would also encourage her to post here....we are a pretty friendly bunch!

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