going back to work...

I think going through what we've gone through and are going through changes our perspective on things.  We look at what we've done, what we're doing and what we think we should be doing - our eyes have been opened to experiencing life in a much different way.  I think that we are now looking at ourselves and saying why not?  We've become open to things that have crossed our mind, but that we've put away thinking we couldn't do it or didn't have the time or energy to do it. Now we're thinking I want more.....I want to do more...........experience more.............and just give it a try win or lose. 

I know that there are things that I've been afraid of or just put off because I didn't have time.  I find my self thinking why waste time........just do it...........give it a try.  I would say if you really want to try something new give it a try.  The thought of going back to work full time after being off all this time to take care of yourself is hard - I just started back in January and it wasn't easy.  I started back part time for about 3 weeks, then worked my way into full time.  Could you ease your way back into work and then when you're ready to go back to school, work part time rather than just walk away from your family business all at once? It would give both you and your family time to adjust to the changes and give you that opportunity to explore another line of work.

I think you should follow your heart. A BC Dx makes us all aware of how precious our time here is. And your dad sounds like a great guy to say to you that he understands how you are feeling. I bet he would always take you back in a heartbeat as well! 

Is there something in particular that you have in mind? The idea of part time work/part time study might work well too.

I had a stage 3 friend decide to become a nurse and she studied while undergoing treatment. Do what is going to truly make you happy and is best for you and your family.

Lots of good advice already given.

I'm still at home but I have this fear that when it's time to go back I won't love my job the way I used to.  Then what will I do??  But it probably won't happen that way.

We had some much change in our lives these past months.  We were given a dx that was either treatment or die much sooner than we want.  We've had to find out just how strong we could be and where some of our limits lay.  We had our confidence stomped on.  But we've survived and are continuing to fight back.

It's good that you're considering something different and trying something that you've never done.  Why not?  You hadn't done chemo before and didn't know if you could make it through it.  It's the same think. I believe it is the right thing to reach out and try something new.  Make sure you have no regrets later of not making a change.

But with all the change that you've just gone through I think it's best to go slowly.  Go back part time with your dad.  Get your feet wet and build up the confidence more.  Then move towards the new goal.

I also wanted to add, like Kandy I was really nervous about going back to work after being off for 6 months.  I had always been the "go to" person at work and was nervous that I wouldn't remember what I needed to remember and was extremely worried about multi tasking, which is extremely necessary in my job.  In addition, while I was out there were a lot of procedural changes. But........... somewhere in my brain the little memory cells came forward and it was like I had never left.  I did have a few things that my brain froze up on, but they were minor - like how to scan something.  I remembered all of the important and/or big things and everyone was supportive, which helped.  It sounds like you have that same support with your dad. 

What is your new interest or old interest resurfaced?

Billynda, did you know that all or almost all of the students at the San Jose State library program are virtual? You could attend from anywhere. If that's your dream, I say give it a try. Here's a link for more info: http://slisweb.sjsu.edu/sections/aboutus.htm

I actually have an MLIS (Master's in Library & Information Science) and have been in this field for over 25 years. (I got my degree from the University of Texas, though). I don't work in an actual library anymore but am sort of a business librarian at a software company in San Jose (like the reference librarian at a public library who does research to answer questions but just working for internal clients mainly on business questions). It's a great job. People I know who have library degrees are doing all kinds of work.

I started out as a public librarian, which is probably what most people think of when they think "librarian." I enjoyed it, but you may be surprised to hear that it's often not as quiet and stress-free as you might imagine

I've been out on disability since mid-February for my bilateral mx, and I'll be starting chemo soon. I don't know the schedule for chemo yet as I just got the results on my lymph node dissection (only 2/6 nodes on one side, none on the other). I'm currently scheduled to go back to work on April 29, because they make you come up with some date before you go, although how are you supposed to have any idea before you have the surgery? If I stick with that date, I'll be just a couple of weeks into chemo, probably. I'm already a little anxious about going back to work during chemo, although I have a really good group of people I work with, and I know I can do some work from home and start out as part-time if needed. Once I go off disability, though, I'd be using sick leave for every day I have to take off. It seems like I would blow through that pretty fast.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and just to worry about getting well now, but it's hard. kimber3006, I think you do have a point about feeling more like normal if you can get back to your old routine. Right now, sitting at home in the stage between surgery and chemo, it doesn't feel normal. But then, needing to take a nap at 9am isn't too normal either.

Karen (caltex_catlady)

I don't think I'll have any problem extending my disability period if I need to. My onco is pretty reasonable, and even the guy at Liberty Mutual handling the disability claim seems pretty reasonable. Technically, I could stay out as long as a year (although at a reduced percentage of my pay), but I hope not to do that unless it's really necessary. I feel like my brain is getting rusty already.

The rules at my company are that days off less than five days at a time count against your sick leave, and over five you have to go through disability again. I guess it's probably not as much paperwork once your initial claim is in the system.

It's all so complicated at a time when I'm not thinking at my best.