Please join me in being really okay with the conflicts here

Options
weesa
weesa Member Posts: 707
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

It's really a pretty healthy human indicator that we end up at odds with one another from time to time. I don't know any group that doesn't, except groups that are so apathetic they are about to disintegrate. Conflict is a pretty inevitable part of life. Resolving conflict is usually the way dynamic groups evolve, improve, grow. Some other culture (maybe Japanese?)  has the same word for both 'conflict' and 'opportunity' which has always delighted me.

Since it's an ingrown way of life I think it is healthy to see it as powerful energy that can be directed positively or negatively. The disagreements here are not intrinsically bad or a failure-- they are to be expected--it's how we deal with them that counts.

So much of the misunderstandings here start with miscommunication. Somebody totally misreads a post, (or the original poster writes a confusing or ambiguous post) writes a protest, the original poster writes a rebuttal, several other posters join in and it grows like a widening circle. I don't think it has much to do with how sick we are or how traumatized we are by our brutal treatments. It has to do with our being people.

Have you had many relationships that have been free of conflict?. How about clubs, government entities, marriages...

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited February 2010

    Weesa~ I am with ya 100%  at the end of the day here is my safe place NO MATTER WHAT! Whether I agree, disagree, have no clue or love what is being said.  I am among my sisters that no matter what they may feel about something I may have written would drop EVERYTHING to lend me and ear, offer me a shoulder to cry on or let me scream. 

    I am ok with it.  And I THANK YOU ALL.

    GREAT POST.Kiss

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited February 2010

    Amen!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2010

    Weesa ~  I join you in being really ok with whatever conflicts arise here.  This is a place where I feel very comfortable to just "be" with myself and my BC.  I feel safe to talk about it all.  Some comments can rile me sometimes but they can't chase me away from my safe place to share feelings. Some days I log on feeling positive and hopeful.  Other days I can log on and be totally down. Yet there are times I log on feeling angry, or scared, or happy, or totally exhausted.  Whatever I feel I can come here and be understood in a place where I can be stage 3. I can also empathize with the issues associated with the other women of different stages, and try to give support or comfort, or share stories or experiences.  It's all good in spite of conflict.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cheers247
    cheers247 Member Posts: 270
    edited February 2010

    I'm with you too!!  The conflicts here are just like any other supportive relationship would be.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2010

    try being in the music 'ministry'.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited February 2010

    Perfectly said!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited February 2010

    Weesa and Deb....well said....lets all agree that its okay to disagree!!! Personally, if I don't like a post, I skip it....no reason to be aggrevated....I love the support that the sisters here provide for each other....I for one did not sign up for this journey....it was thrust upon me....but since I have to journey here, its nice to have so much support, information, love, laugh, tears and just understanding....Hugs to all.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited February 2010

    amen sista! If I don't like a thread I just don't read it.... I don't take things personally-I come here for support and to give it....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited February 2010

    I totally agree!  If you don't like the thread don't read it!!  We are all in this fight together so any words of support and encouragement to one another is what we all need. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2010
    Thumbs up! Cool
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited February 2010

    I'm in total agreement.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2010

    I think we're good! 

    BTW - that comment was meant to be ambiguous.  We ARE good and we are good to move on!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Gabrielle
    Gabrielle Member Posts: 73
    edited February 2010

    Are we going to break into song?

    'cause, if so, I propose we break into groups.

     (hyuck, hyuck)  Wink

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cp418
    cp418 Member Posts: 7,079
    edited February 2010

    Big Hug - - Totally agree.  These forums are here for us to share our fears and to help each other.  It should be that special place where we can scream, cry, laugh and get support and strength from others who have similar dx and issues. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited February 2010

    "If I Could Cha---annnnnggee the World...."  Eric Clapton?

    "We are family - I got all my sistah's with me...." ?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited February 2010

    I have no idea what happened or what is going on and I don't want to know but I gosh I love Eric Clapton.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited February 2010

    Im just singin'

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BonnieK
    BonnieK Member Posts: 655
    edited February 2010

    I'm with Pure -- no idea what happened or what is going on, but I'm okay with differing opinions and I also love Eric Clapton! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jenniferz
    Jenniferz Member Posts: 541
    edited February 2010

    *swaying....holding little candle" Cum by yah, my Lord.



    Oops, sorry....thought we were at a camp 'cause singing was mentioned. Anyway, I don't always agree with the conflict, and if I don't then I stay away. However, if I'm pasionate about something, I'll "conflict" all over the place!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited February 2010

    I'm okay - happens in every group now and then.  I'm here to give and get support.  If I don't like something, I just stop reading and move on.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • maryannecb
    maryannecb Member Posts: 1,453
    edited February 2010

    Sometimes uncomfortable...when it is, I stay out of it...enough stress in my real life....LOL.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited February 2010

    When things get tense like that, I just fade into the background for a while. It's gonna happen, not much we can do about it, but I want to stay away from that. If I can't help to resolve it, I keep my mouth shut.

    Leah

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • chasinghope
    chasinghope Member Posts: 126
    edited July 2010
    Even when it gets a little rough around here, disagreements and different opinions, this is still a sacred and safe world for me and for many.  I truly hope it stays that way but not everyone is always going to agree or be positive. I know that I do not have a support system as great as some do, that is why, for me, this place is priceless. I appreciate you all because from what I have seen, most of us, if not all of us care about one another. Some  don''t know how to show it or feel like there are restrictions, so we don't tread on a certain thread. I might have been guilty of that, I hope not, but if I did impede it was only to support and talk about what I do know and what has helped me through this Very scary journey, because so many amazing women on this board have helped me and I am so VERY GRATEFUL.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 707
    edited February 2010

    bump.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited February 2010

    Well said Weesa ........Laughing

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lkc
    lkc Member Posts: 1,203
    edited February 2010

    huh?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Kodapants
    Kodapants Member Posts: 139
    edited February 2010

    Two thumbs up from the lolly pop guild!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories