DO YOU GET DISCOURAGED WHEN.......

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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

We hear that someone else has lost the battle here?   It just seems that suddenly there have been a number of girls we've previously talked with here that have suddenly lost their fight to this bitch of a disease.  I really feel so saddened over this.  My heart hurts for the loss they have to bare over on Stage IV because like each individual forum the ladies who post within it are just so connected.  I would be so freaked out and deeply saddened if this were happening with my stage 3e ladies. And I've also come to love the girls from over at Stage IV who often come to post support to us all.  I really feel so down about this today.  Last night I couldn't sleep  so I sat up reading the People Magazine article about Jennifer Lyon's BC battle, and it just fed into my sadness and fears for my BC sisters who lose this battle over here at BC.org

So just sharing my feelings today.  I hope I didn't make anyone down or offended.  I love you all

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Barb

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited February 2010

    I get sad.  I mourn their loss.  There are a few of us stage 3'ers that have unfortunately moved to the stage 4 forum and I feel more of a connection to them.

    I don't neccesarily transfer that to fear for my own life. Yes, it may happen and God willing it won't.  I don't know...maybe I just like to live in the now and live in denial of what could be.

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited February 2010

    barb.

    this is the place to post and share your feelings.  it is really good for people to write down how they are feeling...i was talking to a young gal the other night...someone i met here on the boards...and she said that she worries about relapse...death...etc...and no one really understands except those of us who deal with this stuff.

    i feel sad when i read about someone who has lost the battle. i feel sad for them and their loved ones.  as i have become more active in the cancer community; i guess i have come to understand that some people aren't going to beat this disease. i have lost a few friends...was a part of their stuggle...and have come to realize that all of this is a part of living. there are tragedies...there are things that happen...to people we know...care about. it is a raw deal at times....and hurts.  but, i also remind myself...that there are lots of us survivors out there....who are doing well....and enjoying life.

    what i have learned...over the last years...is that acceptance...acceptance of things i can't control...is part of what makes me enjoy life a little more. something that we all have lost once diagnosed with cancer...is control.  i think that is what makes us feel so vunerable...and for me...at some point in this experience...i gave up trying to control my cancer. maybe it will come back...maybe not.  for some..it does...all i can do is take care of myself; remind myself of good treatment options...and pray for those and their loved ones who are struggling with this disease...

    it isn't easy. some days are good...some days great...and some days a little rough. hang in there.

    diana

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited February 2010

    It just brings reality crashing down on me.  Diana, it is so true that nobody can really understand our positions.  We are stage III, a very precarious place to be.  I live no longer expecting to make it to retirement, or becoming a grandparent.  Every time someone says something like "You'll be a Grandma some day.  Just be patient.",  I just want to SCREAM.

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited February 2010

    I found myself having the same thoughts this week.  All the support and encouragement and help getting through the first months of a stage IV dx this site has given me - this past week, I felt the sadness here.  I was sad for the losses of the friends of the people that have helped me.  I am too new to have known them but have seen their names.  I was a reality check - 5 months into the first treatment plan - what if it isn't working? 

    Yes, I was discouraged.  And not to sound - ah, well I don't know - but if the Saints can win a Super Bowl....there is hope and miracles in the world - I have to believe.

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  • lorieg
    lorieg Member Posts: 802
    edited February 2010

    Yes, I bet most of us feel this way.  I mourn the loss of those have died.  I have only been a part of this club for 5.5 months, but it seems in just so short of a time we have lost so many. I tell myself to stay away from this message board but I just can't do it.  I try to tell mself that death is a part of life.  I refuse to spend the rest of whatever life I have left feeling sad.  Most days this works but I have my moments. 

    Hugs.

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited February 2010

    Yeah I get sad.  I hate this disease! 

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  • janincanada
    janincanada Member Posts: 258
    edited February 2010

    Yes it is sad!  December 30th I want to the oncologist with a friend and we were told that she was now stage 4 with mets in her liver. Witin 2 weeks she was hospitalized.  We had promised each other that we would support each other through our journey so I was there for her every day.  Her partner had left her during her first round of chemo.  I held her hand, helped her to the bathroom, stayed over night and watched her die.  On the positive side, sharing the experience with her made me less afraid for my future.  As I go to Yoga without her I feel her encouraging me to keep at it and fight.  The last two weeks have been difficult; The day before my friend died, I had gone to a Yoga class at Hospice to give them an update and met a man with prostate cancer stage IV who was on pallative care.  He had been given 3 months to live twice and there he was doing Yoga.  Today I met a woman who is stage IV since the year 2000.  She has had mets in her liver, brain, lymph and lungs.  And she is still here and smiling.  SO....NEVER GIVE UP!  We don't know what the future will bring, enjoy the present and try to reduce your risk to a manageable level without driving yourself crazy. 

    Love to all!

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