Did I Do Everything I Could?
So I am freaking out a bit. LIfe is starting to settle down, chemo is pretty easy, I only have 10 weeks left and well I actually see an end in sight and I am scared.
Did I do everything I needed to do? Did I get all the chemo I should have gotton?
I had a tumour that was 3.7 cm. I had extremely deep margins all clean. I had quite a few nodes but they were small some less then .5mm but lots nonetheless. I am 100% er pos and either 5 or 50% pr pos and her neg.
I did 5 rounds of 28 day sessions of 5fu, Andormicyn, and C drug. I had the max lifetime of Andromycin. I had dose dense over 2 weeks then 3 weeks off. I never missed a session.
I am now doing Taxol 12 weeks with Zometa every 3 weeks.
I am a immediate metabolizer of tamoxfin so I will do tamoxfin I guess. ( I am really confused on this part why tamox versus femara and which one is better, etc)
I still need to do masectomy of other breast and oomph and I am unsure when I should do this? How do you fit this into therapy?
Is the tamoxfin better then femara for me or do you do tamox first then switch to femara-this part I am confused.
and finally
Did I do ALL THE chemo drugs I could do?
Comments
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I asked my Onc the very same thing "Is there anything more I could be doing" and she sadi no! As I see it with adding the Zometa we have done more than the current "Standard of care".....
What you do now is live your life!!
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I agree with Kerry - what you do now is live your life. That's the reason for doing the treatments!
I also spend a lot of time second-guessing, but I'm trying to stop that since it's really unproductive. I'm trying to reset my thinking to do what I can to remain healthy - you know, the stuff everyone says about eating healthy and exercising. Not dramatic but effective.
Leah
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I hope you can start to move on and stop pondering about how effective your treatment may or may not have been. Only time will tell! I've noticed that you have started a few threads querying whether you should have also had xeloda- it's as if you are not allowing yourself to be reassured that your treatment has been as rigorous as needed.
As the previous two girls have said-"live your life"! Don't allow the cancer to steal any more of your thoughts than necessary. Nobody can guarantee that you will remain healthy and cancer free-either you will have a 100% chance of recurrence, or 0%. I've noticed too that you reassure people that they will be ok-maybe you have to start believeing yourself what you tell others!
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I think it is very important to believe in your treatment - you researched, you got the best docs and you got the best care.
Move on.
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Pure
make a written list of everything you have done...look at it..take it in....you have gotten great treatment. when i start feeling vunerable...i realize that i had gotten 4 major treatments for my cancer. and the arimidex lasted 5 and half years. once you start your hormone treatment...remember...you are still in treatment for your cancer. surgery is the first and most important treatment; they take it OUT and the rest of treatment is to clean up and prevent it from coming back.
hang in there*
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Pure,
I had the same worries, Im sure we all have at some point. But, like mary said, you have to believe the treatment has worked.......and leave it.
This is what I did, I wrote down on a piece of paper everything I did and am doing. Chemo,Mastectomy, rads, Herceptin, OS/Tamox and Zometa. Now an ooph... I then also put beside the % beside each that helps reduce my recurrence rate. I then put it up on my fridge. Yes, the fridge. Everytime I had doubt or was scared I looked at that paper.
Its funny Im talking about this, I had my paper up on my fridge for 2 yrs. I looked at it many times....but Saturday I started my spring cleaning and threw it out. My fridge was cluttered with my daughters preschool art work and I asked myself. " do you still NEED this? wouldn't having another of Lexi's art work look nicer on the fridge?" YES!
My point being, I did then, what I had to do to get through tough times. Those times are gone, well not completely Im just more confident in my treatment and prognosis now.
Be well.
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Interesting article my boss just sent me from Mens Health magazine to incorporate in to our next staff meeting - it is about cynics and success. Basic synopsis is that in order to be successful you can not be cynical.
Matthew McConaughey (inteviewed in article) says "Cynics love to put their finger on disease before they put it on health. It's the easy way to go. Play the blame game: "I got screwed" It is a dead end anser. For me, "Just keep livin' " as a creed and a compass is about making the evolving choice, the forward-moving, life giving choice"
Interesting article which doesnt wholly apply but I found helpful. I have earned the right to be cynical but what good does it do me? Not much.
It was in the March 2010 Mens Health Magazine if you are interested.
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Pure.... we are all going to doubt ourselves at some point. And someone will bring up somthing else you could have done. Remember that you are also exercising! Major factor that so many patients don't do.
Exercise is also protective against cardiotoxicity with adriamycin. Sorry, don't have that study handy, but you can look it up.
Femara vs tamoxifen is for women who are post menopausal. And you have the option of doing Femara later if you are surgically put into menopause.
The point about all of us doing above and beyond the standard of care is important.
Did I mention exercise???? Meanwhile, relax and focus on staying healthy and vital through Taxol. And of course on your newborn who I assume is a great joy. - Claire
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Funny - everytime I speak with my friend who had the same diagnosis as me TEN YEARS ago - she gets all freaked out about some treatment that I got that she didnt back then.
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I asked the same thing when I was finished chemo, the onc reassured me that I've done all I can do. After I finish rads, as a triple negative I'm done. I feel like there should be more, but there isn't - so I've decided to focus on enjoying life.
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To echo Claire - Jenn - There is exercise!
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Jenn.
Enjoy life. Enjoy your family. Take time for yourself. Smell the flowers. Look at the sunset. You have done everything and the medical profession have done everything and they will continue to watch and check. Living is the important thing now. We all have times of doubt and panic but they do get less as our focus changes.
Give those beautiful children of yours a hug and I hope you can relax and find a bit of peace.
BIG HUGS
Alyson
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You have done a tremendous job to date fighting the beast. You took on this dastard disease like a true mamma bear, looking out for your baby and yourself and family with questions and courage. Congratulations.
As to the specifics, of course we are not your doctors. I was told surgery gets rid of about 70% of the beast, and then a combination of chemo, hormonals and radiation the rest. You did and are doing chemo combinations widely acknowledged to be key players in breast cancer. Just recently I reviewed a review paper by Norton, Hortobagyi, Bonadonna, and others* that anthracylines utilization in early breast cancer should not be given up lightly until more detailed clinical trials are very clear different regimens meet adriamycin's known effect. The taxane family of drugs too have been widely utilized over the last decade for their good effect in breast cancer.
One question I did have is are you going to have post lumpectomy radiation with attention to the axilla and clavicle area? Have you talked with a radiation oncologist yet? Radiation has long been used in breast cancer reducing local recurrences by about 30%, and perhaps keep potential left over cells in the breast or chest wall (for mastectomy patients) from being a source of distant spread (by gaining access to blood and lymph system). Lately too, there is the seed and the soil theory in breast cancer which is being bantered about by oncologists, and from my limited understanding, there always is that initial goal of reducing as much as possible circulating cancer cells (potential seed (spread) cells), which radiation may also do (see above). As to our original tumor location soil or distant soil (the stroma, or cell foundation onto which cancer cells may cling or imbed, even perhaps be called to by substances called cytokines unique to the soil), well it will be a long time in determining the details of radiation.
Regarding hormonal suppression, perhaps you might determine if you are 5% or 50% PR+, and ask you oncologist about the implications of your result? There is some discussion, based on look back clinical data that Tamoxifen may be less effective in ER+, PR- breast cancer patients. If you are 100% ER+, but 5% PR+, your oncologist may suggest Femara or (Arimidex or Aromasin) over Tamoxifen. There's a lot to discuss on this, but just wished to mention it so you might talk with your doctors.
Pure, I think you have done everything you can and you should know that. Know too, that hormone therapy will be a major player in the treatment of your breast cancer, perhaps for many years. Since your tumor was 100% ER+, you should anticipate a positive response with it too.
Lastly, I always remind us to keep in mind that as we buy time with our current therapies, we benefit from future therapies being evaluated in clinical trials and at the bench side.
Respectfully yours,
Tender
Role of Anthracyclines in the Treatment of Early Breast Cancer
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I have always felt, being ER +, that hormonal treatment is my most powerful weapon. So, what you can do, once active treatment is over, is make sure you take your little pill every day!
My Oncs favourite statement is "We are doing everything we can." Just keep telling yourself that.
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Yes, exercise is part of your treatment plan. Also, don't forget the wheat grass juicing as well as any nutritional supplements you take.
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Pure....I don't know the chemo protocol you got, but it sure sounds like you have gotten the "gold standard"....you are doing everything you can do.....believe it.....I know it is hard.....as far as when to do the prophy and the ooph...worry about that after you have finished chemo and given your body some time to heal....Femara along with Arimidex and Aromasin are Aromatase Inhibitors and only for post-menopausal women. Tamox is for either pre or post menopausal women.....Talk to your onc and find out his/her opinion on these....but know that Tamox is a good medicine....You eat healthy, exercise and those two things are also important in our recovery and survivorship...The other gals have given you good advice.....Believe in yourself...HUGS...Karen
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