Starting Chemo May 2008

Jen - hope you are feeling better today.  Come on - it's almost the weekend.

Robin - we are packed and ready to go with you on Monday.

Adrienne - when are your appointments?  It seems like we get all worked up, have the appointment, get normal-er and then it's time to do it all again.  I don't have appointments until next month but it just seems like the in between time went faster this time around.  Maybe because I'm getting closer to the 2-yr mark which is what us triple neg's want.

Eddie - thinking about your big weekend.  It will be lovely.  When you have time, let us know what all is involved with a bar mitzvah.  I don't know anyone who has had one before.  Are 300 people a normal amount of people?

Kristy - glad your trial is under control.

Kerry - laughing at "canyon cleaners".  Jen - you should have just said that LOL.  I'm sorry your legs are bothering you so much.  It is always something.

Rock -  thanks for the link to Cake Wrecks.  Cake makes everything better whether it is in actually cake form or the pics of the disasterous ones.  And let's not start with the clowns.  They are scary on so many levels now that I've seen those cakes.

Hugs to everyone - Julie

I hab a heb colb. lotsa lub, rock.

Good ideas Jen, thank you!

Tell me more about the binder - oh wait...I can be surprised on Monday! No - just tell me! Like when you started wearing it, how bid is it and stuff like that.

Poor Rock...the NYC germs got you already, or perhaps the freezing temps compared to SA.  Feel better soon!

Looks like a trip to Walmart for a sports bra with front closure may be inorder - have no idea when I can do that before monday. My resculpting will be will be done at a surgery center, 3 short stay rooms, a nurse and medical assistant provides care - hoping the night noise as found in a hospital will be minimal. A nurse friend tells me patients who are "done" at that center do quite well.

Guess I'll be the judge of that

Jen - I'm glad you are on the mend.  I hope this week is much better for you.

Robin - we are all with you tomorrow.  Take care.

hmmm . . bummer when you lose your post . . .

Robin - Lots of love and good wishes to you tomorrow!

Jen - holy crap sista, you have been through more than your share!  Healing thoughts to you my dear, hope that you are turning a corner.  No more tubes, diapers, holes, etc. 

Rock - hope you lose the crud soon, your avatar makes me crave a latte!

Love you all.

Jean

Thinking of you, Robin.

Cris - sorry.  It sucks that we can be moving along just fine, thank you very much, and then get slammed with something that brings it all back.  It sucks even more that more women keep getting diagnosed.  And at 32!  I know your support is going to mean a lot to your friend.  (Did you refer her to this site?)

All the best,

Linda

Cris, I feel you, I feel you.  I had two really good friends diagnosed last year.  Fortunately, I was on the other side of the world so that our communication was confined to email and they couldn't see me weeping.  And then another friend developed a really serious skin cancer.  I saw her on Sunday and held my shit together pretty well, asking questions, expressing concern until something in me just cracked open and all I could say was "I don't want this to happen to you. I am so sad this is happening to you."

I really did not want to put her in the position of having to reassure ME.  

IN CONCLUSION:

1.  It sucks. It sucks very, very hard. 

2.  I'm glad she has you in her life, though.

3.   32 is too damned young.

Robin - Thinking of you today!!

Jen - I sure hope you are feeling some relief today. 

Cris - The only response that comes to mind....it sucks.   It just plain sucks.  I hope your friend is as lucky as we were in finding a great source of support and friendship to help her through the suckiness that is BC.

Hugs to all.

P.S.  Eddie - How did the big weekend go?

Kristy, send some of that warmth eastward, if you can.  Our low temps have been in the teens for the past WEEK, and last night it got down to 11 degrees.  That's eleven feckin' degrees, here in east-central Alabama!  Pretty soon we'll be able to ice skate on the pond without falling through.  The high's haven't been much better (mid- to upper-30's).  I swore I would not go outside again until it got above 50, but, heck, I need some groceries.  Especially some dark chocolate.  Grrrrrr....  (or is that, "Brrrr"?).

Robin, you are probably in the middle of it all right now.  We couldn't all crowd into the OR at the same time without getting caught, so I'm waiting in the hall until it's my turn.  Pretty soon you'll be out and awake and mending, with all-new boobies!  I can't believe how many comments I've seen about the FB bra-color thing in which women said they weren't wearing one -- didn't have to, once they'd had recon (and were healed).  Just think about that.  You too, Jen.  I was going to say, "Plug those leaks," but I guess in this case a little seepage would be better (to get all the extra fluid out). How's the personal-hygiene project coming along?

Cris, I think I would react exactly the same way, if someone close to me was dx'd right now.  I can handle the fear pretty well when it's my own recheck appts or suspicious lumps or lab results.  I can control things better then.  I can keep my reaction inside, and decide when to let it out (like to you guys, or to my dh).  But, if someone else told me they'd been dx'd, all my fears (the night demons) would come rushing out.  Why is that?  Maybe that's why my family members had, and are still having, such a hard time with my dx and tx.  My sister still cries about it.  (That was part of the holiday drama I didn't talk about.)

We are going up to the boat later this week, once it warms up a bit.  Then we'll be headed west, to be with my MIL when she has her hip surgery.  She's had both hip joints replaced, but it was 10 years ago and they've "gone bad" (?).  So she needs new ones ... at 87.  The surgery (2 separate surgeries, 6 to 8 wks apart) is really scary; but the alternative is unrelenting pain and she can't live that way.

Love y'all.  rock, are you taking latte art classes?

otter 

Ya today is a tad bit better than yesterday. Been going without painkillers for the most part today. Just wish I would stop dozing off... boredom I suppose. Gonna dig out my DS system and work on my brain games so I don't go to mush completely.

Thinking of robin mostly XXOO

Rock/Christine, that's the guts of it, isn't it. We don't want the newly-diagnosed reassuring us! It is shite, nothing less, this cancer biz. I've had some poignant moments lately. One day I watched a woman about to cross a four-laned road in town here. I thought, "That's chemo-curl for sure'. And then, lo! She had only one breast. I wanted to stab somebody. Then today my stepdaughter and I were having lunch and an older (65ish?) woman came in with her daughter; Mum wearing a headscarf tied behind her head, crossing around and hanging down her front. Very trendy/hippy. Except..she had NO breasts. I felt like weeping, and I wished her daughter would go to the loo so I could go and speak to the lady. She looked pretty healthy aka.....experienced. I don't know what I would have said..but I do now..."Cancer is a fucker, isn't it?".  Robin and Jen..WhooooHoooo! and get VERY better soon. Love you all! xx (and those anonymous ladies I keep seeing). 

Aw, Jen... that's an awfully high fever.  I hope they get it figured out and under control.  I'm glad you can stand up straight now, but don't push too hard, okay?  We're all going to be hovering over you and fussing.  Where's rock?  She's especially good at hovering, if I remember correctly.

Hi, robin!  Is your pain pump doing a good job?  I saw on FB that you get to go home on Thursday, but you have a fever, too.  What's with this fever thing?

Send some of that warmth here to N. AL, where our boat is frozen solid in its slip in the marina.  The ice is too thick to break up any time soon, so we're going home early.  We were going to go for a day cruise on the river tomorrow, but can't even move the boat out of the slip. 

Hi to all, and love....

otter 

Jackie its funny you should ask the question about the waves of emotion....lately i also have been feeling anxious about things and thinking about it way too much. More so than I did last year for some reason.   The triple neg and positve nodes is always in the back of my mind and also i'm waiting for my genetic testing to come back, so I'm sure that is playing into it.

I know I need to be thankfull that I am healthy now and stop wasting time on the unknown  and just  "suck it up princess" and get on with living.  Maybe it is just the January rain...this too shall pass!

Jackie I'm glad your son is coming home soon

Cristine your friend is lucky to have you by her side !

Jen and Robin hoping your fevers subside and you can heal without pain.

Cheers

Home from the surgical center Thursday afternoon. 3 drains in - 2 belly, 1 breast, The heavy dark blood has ceased, replaced with blood tinged yellow fluid. The breast drain doesn't fill up so according to Dr. Robin, that drain should be pulled next Tuesday at my first post op appt. So, when I need a thermometer at my home, there is not one to be found. Today I've been using tried and true techniques to determine if I have a fever today, flushed cheeks, headace, chills, low back ache. Yes, Yes, yes, yes and yes for all 4.

The incisions look fine (don't pay attention to the swelling and bruising). Jen my doctor used suture, no staples.  I am curious about the "new" (old) belly button, lotsof dried blood on it, cleansing the area twice daily with 1/2 strength peroxide solution.

Both legs are swollen from toes up to my thighs. Looks like the remaining hours of this day will be spent elavating my legs above the level of my heart. Slept in a recliner last night, reducing the belly pain. Pain is well contolled with Oxycontin and Percocet. 

 Jackie - remind me why your DS is in China? Your nursing advice is sound - I heard that regularly while still in the surgery center. The doc(worried about the fever and low blood pressure) insisted on increasing the IV fluid rate until my time of DC.

I need to take an afternoon nap, before I give myself whiplash from nodding off.

TTFN