Fatigue, Cancer and Relating to It All

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SpunkyGirl
SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568

I'm sure this is a topic that most of the Stage IV women can relate to and struggle with.  I guess it is more of an observation than anything, but in all the things that my DH and I have been dealing with regarding his brain cancer, I can definitely say that fatigue has been the toughest thing to handle. 

Most days, DH sleeps in until 12 or 1, and he is exhausted by 9 pm.  He doesn't do most things like he used to.  He used to be a great cook, and he loved to golf.  He doesn't really do anything normal anymore.  He goes from the couch to the computer to bed.  I've had friends ask me if it's the drugs he's on or depression due to his prognosis.  They just don't get that cancer can make you very tired. 

His cancer has made me really appreciate what single moms go through.  I am essentially a single mom who is also a caregiver now.  I have a friend who was 29 and had two very small children when her DH died in Desert Storm, and I never until recently really saw how hard life was for her.   Now, I think about her constantly when something breaks in the house and I have to get it fixed, or I have to mow the lawn and do the laundry with no help.

I also have a greater appreciation for those who are struggling with Stage IV cancer.  Having had cancer myself, I can't imagine with coping with the reality of it when the fatigue is relentless and neverending.  When I'm tired, or sick, I'm very cranky and worthless and a good night's sleep fixes me right up.  I look at DH and realize that a good night's sleep for him makes no difference. 

Just an observation........

Comments

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited December 2009

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

    Continuing to send you prayers in the midst of the perseverance. Know that we are all cheering for you to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2009

    Debbie,

    I was looking at your blog, and thought that the pics of you, Santa and all those beautiful children was amazing.  You are such a blessing to so many people.  Look me up if you are ever coming through Central PA.  Thank you for the encouragement.  It means a lot to me!

    Peace,
    Bobbie

  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited December 2009

    Love, hugs and prayers, Bobbie.  How are those darling boys doing?

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2009

    Spunky.....sending you ((((((((HUGS))))))))))).....

  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited December 2009

    Bobbie,  Fatigue has to be the number one issue, I think.  Our emotions, cancer, the drugs, all take their toll.  Sending strength and warm wishes to you tonight.

  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited December 2009

    You've been on my mind a lot recently, Bobbie. Know that I'm thinking of you and your family and sending good thoughts your way.

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Bobbie - I often think of you and your family, I'm sending hugs and good thoughts.

    If I lived closer I would come and mow your lawn for you. Smile

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    I have been thinking of you as well. Did you go on yoour trip? I can't imagine what your going through but I did see your post to Fitz and I am so happy you have your Faith. Her post broke my heart- to go through all this without God for me would be impossible.

    There are great things in your future, great, great things.

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2009

    Girls,

    Thank you for all your warm thoughts!  We did go on our trip.  It was hard for the boys to wait until Dave got out of bed each day, but once he got going  he was pretty good.  We had a scooter every day, which helped tremendously.

    I'll post some pictures!

    Hugs

    Bobbie

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    When Jeff was sick -he was sick all day. He didn't really get out of bed. Then during the 1 week prior to chemo he was better. During that week I shoved a otn of health food down him and I made a point that each day we took a walk or had dinner, one thing we did together no matter how small just so I had another memory with him.

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited December 2009

    I'm just reading your post and wanted to send thoughts and ((hugs)) your way............

  • helena67
    helena67 Member Posts: 357
    edited December 2009

    It's just sooo hard doing everything on your own. I am sorry. I hope you can find some help to take a little bit of the load off. But you are absolutely right. Single moms (and single parents in general) are overwhelmed, overworked, and underappreciated. Big hugs from cyberspace (but I know you would rather have a cleaning lady)

    -Helena.

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2009
    UGH.  I hate to keep dumping this stuff on you guysSmile, but sometimes there's nowhere else to go.  DH did have a really great scan in November, but now he's having a host of issues.  We just found out two days ago that he has diabetes, probably from the 40 lbs he's gained from being inactive.  He's not been on steroids since, 2003, the usual culprit for brain cancer patients.  Now he has fecal incontinence.  Last night I was watching a movie in the basement with the boys, and he's yelling from the bathroom.  I run up to find out that he soiled himself b/c the urge came on suddenly and he couldn't make it in time.  I googled fecal incontinence and found that it happens with diabetes.  We have an appt. with an endocrinologist Monday.  How lovely!!!!!  Keep us in your prayers.  Pray for peace and endurance for me!!!!!
  • Let-It-Be
    Let-It-Be Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2009

    I'm praying for you to have the strength and whatever you and your family needs.  Please remember the joyful moments that occur each day.  The other stuff, give it away.  It's innappropriate for me to say, as I'm not in your shoes, but stay strong!

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2009

    Actually, Let-It-Be, you're right on the money.  One thing I've learned about cancer is that you have to give away what you don't have any control over.  I'm usually pretty good at that.  I hope it continues.  Thanks for your prayers!  They mean a lot to me......

  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2009

    Sorry about the most recent issues.  There seems to be no end to the freaking drama right?  

    It is possible that this has nothing to do with the diabetes or brain cancer and could be a passing thing also.  Lets see what the doc says and stay away from Dr. Google!    Hugs and prayers for you, my friend.

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Oh, man, that sounds like no fun at all. I am hoping it was just some gastro thing too.

    Sending good thoughts your way.

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited December 2009

    Is it not AMAZING what I will share with you all???????  Thanks for always being there!

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited January 2010

    prayers and hugs.... Keep us updated..

  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited January 2010

    Hugs, Bobbie!  My mom is a long term (39 years) diabetic and has some of the same issue.  Something to do with the nerve endings losing their sensitivity.  However, this usually happens after having been diabetic for quite some time.  I'm wondering if it is a bug or stomach issue.  Continued prayers, honey.

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited January 2010

    Just a thought on the incontinence.  When I was about halfway through the sutent/taxol chemo regimen I noticed a weakening of the bowel muscles that caused similar issues with me.  Luckily (!!) it passed after a couple of weeks. Much different than the pinched nerve in my lower back many years ago that was causing numbness (instead of the pain most people feel) which made both things hard to do -- had to work at pee'ing with the loss of feeling.

    You have my thoughts for peace and endurance...

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