I survived Xmas

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Pure
Pure Member Posts: 1,796
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

with just 1 breakdown. Whoo hoo. It was nice not having a bunch of family and friends around-just parents, DH and kids. Seeing others who have these great, happy lives saddens me and even gets me jealous. I know this is incredibly shallow of me but sometimes I don't get why some of us get so much pain and others don't.

I did have a weird event happen. My friend who has been very supportive of me and is my neighbor just got diagnosed with mulitple myalomia-a very rare cancer for her age. She is very ill and in pain. She is only 40 and has 5 kids. This saddened me so much b-c for her there is no years of treatment. She will either go quick or make it and odds are not on her side. It made me almost thankful for my bc b-c I have time no matter what my diagnosis. Her diagnosis is such a shock-I mean she has been bringing me food and praying for my family then boom now she could be dying. ....

Anyway, I hope you all had a great holiday.......

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited December 2009

    I managed to make it to an "almost" breakdown.  Had a great day at my brothers house with just family.  Wonderful meal (thank goodness my taste is back!).  Mom and DD were zoned out talking about Norwegian genealogy.  Rest of us just relaxed and making idle conversation.  But had to leave before desert was served when fatigue starting in (2 hour drive home for DH & me).  Managed to keep the tears in the corners of the eyes, though.

    Got a great memory from XMAS eve.  Made it through 1 and a half games of pictionary.  Lots of laughs!  Second game ended when DD was asked if it was all play and mistakely blurted out "fan" instead of no.  Hysterical laughter was lead by DD so we figured that was a great ending spot.

    Taught my 2 month old grandson to stick his tongue out whenever I stuck out mine.  I think we have a real rapport!

    Pure - I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and her family.  What a terrible dx and situation.  It's sobering to hear that there aren't the options that we have for tx.  Prayers to her family that she will get through.

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2009

    ok - this was a surreal christmas for me.  Last christmas I had just finished chemo so we stayed home and had my dad over - I was still bald and fairly panicky.  Oh and in pain - I had my hysterectomy and implant swap on 12/9.  We had a holiday party on 12/27. I remember the tears everytime the kids looked away and the fear I wouldnt see another xmas.

    This xmas, as you all know, I lost my dad less than two weeks ago.  He was here singing xmas carols three weeks ago. So my mind was occupied with that - I havent really allowed myself to grieve.  Funeral was last friday, had a party to go to saturday, had WICKED tickets on Sunday, had a crazy bust week at work, had a party xmas eve and then xmas day at my brother in laws in laws.  I go through periods  where I cant breathe and my stomach has been bothering me - of course I assume that is lung and liver mets.  I had my 3 month check up and tm markers scheduled for the day my dad died so I cancelled - now that is not until 1/5 - more anxiety.

    So I spent the holiday rather numb.  Actually took a two hour nap before we went to my brother in laws.  We did have a nice time - good food and games, cards, etc.  THEN we go to leave and there is a freezing rain storm - so we drove home 2 plus hours in that.  I am (and always have been ) supersticious about driving on holidays which is why we always traveled the day after. Cars off the road and flipped over all over. So that did not please me and then my daughter throws up on the way home at a rest stop - wth?

    So I was worried about her and missing my dad and I guess all in and all it was a pretty normal holiday.

    I am glad it is over.

    Pure - so sorry about your friend.  I had a neighbor (35 with young daughter) die from a sudden anuyersm right after I finished treatment.  She was perfectly healthy.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    I actually had a lovely day. It was just our family, and apart from all the present mayhem, quiet and uneventful.

    I certainly felt better than last year. 

    Sorry to hear it was a difficult day for some of you. 

    Here's to better things in 2010. 

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  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited December 2009

    Pure, I am sorry about your problems..........and also for your friend's.  Gentle hugs.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    I'm glad you survived Christmas.  Mine was very nice also.  I had my 4 kids and and 2 grand daughters.  I did all the cooking and the food came out awesome, and everyone raved about it.  Phew,  when everyone left I just colapsed and went to bed.  Today just hanging around being lazy on a cold rainy darkd day.  I'm sorry about your neighbor's cancer.  She is lucky to have you around though.

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  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited December 2009

    You'd think that having been through what we have we'd know what to say, but I think a cancer diagnosis just has no comforting words.  Pure I am so sorry for your neighbor and her family.  It's strange to think we got the better end of the stick...it is true that there is always someone with a harder time than us...Here's to a Happy New Year with health and happiness for us all.  (And God Bless us Everyone!)

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  • bejuce
    bejuce Member Posts: 97
    edited December 2009

    Hi Pure,

    I'm so sorry about your friend.  A mom at my girls' school the other day asked me where I had gotten my wig because she has a close friend going through the exact same thing - multiple myeloma.  That woman got it when she was pregnant with her 4th two years ago (it took a while to diagnose her), got her treatment, had two great years, and unfortunately has recurred this year (hers is now terminal).  Listening to her story made me  feel exacty like you did - fortunate that I had BC and not some other worst type. I think we have to be thankful for everything in our lives and not compare ourselves to others.  

     Glad you had a good Christmas, nevertheless.  

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    I know -I feel bad for feeling thankful I have bc and not her disease. Overall 85% of people survive bc for her I belive it's 30%. And to know she was one of the first people to help me when I got diagnosed and then she finds out. But thanks for your kind words and I hope you all had a great xmas as well.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited December 2009

    Jen- sorry to hear about your friend, news like that is hard to digest, especially when she was the one supporting you.  Hugs.................. headed your way for you and your friend.

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    Thanks so much:) I actually just found out htis morning it's terminal. Our boys are the same age and of course it now has me thinking.

    Cancer SUCKS.

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited December 2009

    I am sorry Jen.  There seems to be no end to the tragedy of life.  I guess the worst part is that in the past I would feel badly for others but felt so safe and now I dont feel so safe.

    God bless her and her family and all of us also.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Jen - I am so sorry. It just goes to show you never know in life. It is more fragile than we like to think.

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  • lexislove
    lexislove Member Posts: 2,645
    edited December 2009

    Pure,

    Sorry about your friend. Unfortunatly now that you have been diagnosed with cancer, it seems to happen that you will hear MORE people being diagnosed.

    Before my diagnosis, I heard nothing about cancer.Now, its seems like all I hear is cancer this and that. I think we become more aware now. I dont like it though. I would much rather be in la la land, but oh well.

    I know you are still going through treatment and being pregnant and all, but maybe you can offer to help her out or maybe just be there to lend an ear. When you are feeling up to it of course... Im sure she would be appreciative.

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    totally sucks-but yes we are reaching out to the family to support both her and her husband. Poor girl is really tired and sick from the daily chemo pill. Sometimes the reality of life is relaly tought to both see and accept.

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