I feel horrible

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gogo_xago
gogo_xago Member Posts: 131
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Tonight I'm going to have the results of CT scan of my mom's first check, after 4 months of chemo. At 10/27 the chemos end and now we are waiting for the results. This is the first time (after diagnosis) we are waiting for results and as time goes by, our anxiety is too high. I know it's quite uncommon to have "bad" news so soon but I feel horrible (and I know mom is feeling worst than me). I'm wondering: Is our lives will be as before diagnosis? I know, never will be the same, but I can't handle it right now. Every time from now on will be so difficult for us? 

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    I am still in the early stages myself, a year out from diagnosis.

    All I can say is it is not getting easier for me....I have my first routine Breast Ultrasound on Wednesday, the thought of which is making me very anxious.

    I don't think scan day will ever be easy, even 10 years down the line. Those fears will always resurface. I am sure some of our old timers will be along soon to enlighten us!

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited December 2009

    ::::old timer here::::Cool

    well, my experence has been this; i almost ALWAYS get anxious before blood work...scans..mammo.  however; the anxiety is more like a 5 instead of a 10. lol  actually, i think there can be some post traumatic stress going on; once you were diagnosed with a :life threatening disease and have gone through all of this...there can be a psychological/emotional reminder when you return to activities that remind you of the initial scare/fear; which brings up the anxiety...etc.  i think as time goes by; you will develop "coping" ways to deal with it.  it takes awhile.  my way of dealing with that stuff now is....(i sound like a broken record(...BUT....i just figure now i will deal with a relapse IF and WHEN it ever occurs.  for some reason; that has helped me . but, the first couple of years are really hard i think.  those of you still in treatment or just finishing ...or moving into another phase...you can feel really really rocky.  i think that is pretty par for the course of this disease. 

    always remind yourself that you got great treatment.  i had four treatments; surgery...chemo...rads...and arimidex. that is the full monty.  that always kind of calms me down alittle and i know i got good chemo too.  being on the arimidex for over 5 years helps too. now, i am off the arimidex and not in any kind of treatment...and all i think about is that they GOT the cancer . 

    hang in there. i think it will get easier but don't expect it to just because you finished treatment.  once again; it really does take awhile to get used to your post treatment body...and to learn about how it has changed in the course of all of this.

    diana50 

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    kerry why do they do a breast ultrasound even if you have no breasts-just for a local reoccurence?

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    I still have one! That is the one they are doing the ultrasound on.

    I would think it would make more sense to do the chest wall and node area where my breast was... that is where I am most likely to get more cancer, but no....

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    oh ok so you only took off one:) Did you get braca tested? My mom had bc at age 48. But we both tested neg for braca but we both had a gene mutation.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    No, they wouldn't test me - too old and no family history. Like none.

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    gottcha so you feel safe keeping your breast. I was told if I have it removed my chances of a reoccurence there is 2%. But on the other hand my mom never had a reoccurence in her other breast  or one at all and we have the same gene mutation.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Well, my surgeon kindly informed me that the cancer that was my biggest threat was the one I had already had.

    An ooph reduces the risk of a second primary by 70% as well....

    Not ruling it out, just don't want another Surgery right now. 

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