Starting Chemo May 2008

Julie, have a great time at the band concert.  The tree can wait - it's patient.

Otter, I'm at a loss as to what to say about your mother.  Is it possible she's more functional than she lets on over the phone?  I hope this isn't way out of line, but it kind of sounds as though she was being wilfully passive-miserable in her conversation with you.  (I feel as though I can say that because, you know, I can be that way myself sometimes.  Whining about how a situation is completely impossible, and there's no way, and you know what?  Eventually one finds a way.)  I mean, no BOOTS?  Well, wait until the snow is cleared away and then go out and get yourself some damn boots! 

Easy for me to tell her that, of course.  And very likely wishful thinking on my part, as I try to deny the extent to which my own parents are getting frailer.  Mainly, I just wish you didn't have to deal with so much stress right now. 

Maybe inhaling fruitcake fumes will help.

Linda

Women,

Tryng to catch up. Not successful. Hannuka begins tomorrow night. Nothing wrapped yet. Also, we have a bar mitzvah for some 300 January 9th. Things are wildly crazy. Will try to get cards out to each of you soon. Got one from Otter today. Thanks a zillion. Beautiful card. Sorry about your Mamasita. Next week? Piano recital. Ballet recital. Band concert -- all on different nights of Hannuka. Aaargh. Early holidays this year. Talk to you soon.

Julie - prayers just went up for you! patience, wisdom, strength, knowing when to speak and when to keep slilent.  Hope the Christmas concert was enjoyable and took your mind of "things" for a while.

Otter - www.zappos.com  Beautiful card!  Many thanks!

Happy Joyful Blessed Hannaka  to Eddie and anyone else who celebrates this Featival of Lights.

Jen - try to keep Christmas preps to a minimum.  Focus on your little guy only.  What a blessing you have family and friends to help you out.  Have sent prayers on your behalf.

Paige is home! Have her here for 3-4 weeks.  Yay!

Going shopping - TTFN

Angels - or any one celebrating Boxing Day.

Please explain the significance.  This is in addition to Christmas, right?

Thanks!

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah to you too Eddie!

I am babysitting my (step-)granddaughter at the moment. It has been lots of fun. I never realized someone 3-1/2 years old could be smarter and craftier than I am.  She's an only child (so far), and hasn't been away from her mom longer than overnight until now.  This 3- or 4-day adventure is a first for all of us. "Grandpa" otter is loving it. Plus, it has given us a chance to do all the fix-it things parents are supposed to do for their kids (dripping toilets, sticking drawers, lopsided range burners). I've also developed some new skills, like playing DVDs and streaming Netflix movies through an X-box 360 system.

Oh, noooo! As I typed that sentence, I pressed the wrong button on the X-box controller and skipped a whole chapter of the Berenstain Bears!  It doesn't matter -- she'll watch it over and over again....

You are all correct in your assessments of the situation with my mom. I called her yesterday, to see how she was doing and find out whether the garbage made it to the curb. She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. She and my dad (together) pulled the can to the curb, and an unknown neighbor brought it back to the house the next morning. 

That sort of unsolicited help happens all the time for mom & dad.  I have cousins who literally live across the street, and they are always begging mom to allow them to help her.  Mostly she declines, and acts surprised that anyone would be so generous to another person (even a relative, I guess). There is a college-age guy who lives next door, and he does an excellent job of plowing the driveway and shoveling the sidewalk for a very reasonable fee (to help with college expenses) whenever it snows.  He goes to school at the local junior college, so he's usually around. There are lots of other people -- relatives and friends of the family and neighbors -- who would love to help out; but my mom won't call them; and if I were to call them, mom is likely to shoo them away.

When I asked her about the boots, she said she can't find them to fit because of the shape of her feet (high instep, wide sole). I urged her to shop for some boots, but she got upset and said there was "no use"; she couldn't find any. When I asked what she would wear next time she needs to buy groceries, she said she didn't need boots because my cousin was buying and delivering her groceries. That has never happened, though -- it's another of those offers that wasn't accepted. 

Then mom claimed she hadn't said anything about having trouble taking the garbage to the curb, or not having any boots to wear in the snow. She said I was "making it all up", and I "always exaggerated everything." We ended the call with me shaking in frustration and wishing I hadn't called in the first place.

<sigh>

Anyway, I've helped to decorate parts of 2 Christmas trees.  My MIL is still in the rehab center, but she'll be back "home" in a few days. So, dh and I put up her little tree in her apartment and installed the lights and garland and some of the colored balls. We helped her good friend and neighbor put up the "community" tree in the hallway of the independent living center. The facility's entertainment coordinator stopped by with a whole cartfull of other stuff for the hallway. It looks really cheery. I also wrapped most of the presents we'll be giving this year; so we're almost set. My dh's side of the family is celebrating Christmas at least 3 times this next week, depending on who can be there on any given day.

I envy those of you who get to bake cookies and turkeys and fruitcake, and decorate your homes for the holidays. I have never been able to stay home for Christmas.  But, I guess that's what happens when you move away from the place everyone else considers "home".

Oops. Gotta go.  Someone is jumping higher than Betsy the Berenstain Bear, and I need to supervise.   And Mr. otter just walked in with groceries.  I should have asked him to get some cookies!

otter 

Greetings to all!  I am afraid to look at how long it has been since I have posted.  Despite being blocked at work, I read the posts daily on my blackberry.  It is the best 20 minutes of my day as I eat lunch, leaving with with a big warm smile.  I love you gals! 

Jen - Glad to hear that the mammo went well and the recon news is very exciting!  Please know that you are in my daily prayers!

Julie - Prayers to your family - a belated birthday wish to you!

Otter - Your patience are amazing as you try to help from afar. 

Happy Hanukkah to all! 

I too finally decorated the tree last evening.  Work has been exceptionally crazy as we are working to wrap up a huge project (data infrastructure for a new ballpark).  I just went to a 3 month checkup to the onc and found that my wbc is at 1.9 - crap, couldn't even get chemo with that number.  Just got an H1N1 shot that I had an allergic/hive type reaction to . . and the biggest bummer is that my marathon plans turned into (hopeful) half marathon plans.  I am trying desperately to heal / rehab a terrible case of planter fascittis.  All in all, things are good, but I have missed you all dearly! 

Love the cards, love all of you!

Jean

Happy Hanukkah! to all (whatever THAT means..I'm an Irish Catholic Australian, remember!). Christmas cards...???? ROFL!!!! ROFL!!! I'm more poorly organised than last year..and I can't blame chemo this timetree? Tree? Now this is funny: last year I was devastated that I did not summon the enthusiasm for a tree. At the 11th hour I bought a really disgraceful red plastic thing, about 18ins high. I shit you not. I have guilted about that tree (or lack thereof) for a full 12 months and last weekend I decided to get the thing out and PUT IT UP (in all it's lack-of-glory). Well, it needs three little things to stand it up on AND IT ONLY HAD TWO!!! For 12 months I have rent my clothes and gnashed my teeth...NOW I discover that IT COULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PUT UP!!! Man..that is just the biggest relief! Otter, I love your stories and I....hate..growing old. I recognise your family story: it is called succession. It's tough, both on us and on our elders. Especially when we are used to a lifetime of this guilt-trip/passive needy whatever relationship. Sigh...I tell you what girls: I am CRANKING!! My hair is growing, I've learned how to dye my eyebrows, I've recovered from a (mostly) successful rebuild and boy, do I love y'all and owe you.....my LIFE! I love Christmas (Hanukkah?) because I get to officialize my sentimentality and I am feeling heaps of THAT right now. Question: did the year fly, or what?? Were we not in chemo or chemo/recovery this time last year?? Am I the only one amazed by this? To celebrate, last weekend I accidently erased 10000+ images from my hard drive. They included all this year's 'Leavers' photos ( Prom??)  How did I deal with that? HOW DID I DEAL WITH THAT???? ROFL!! ROFL!!! I've had CARNSUH!!!! Anyway, I wish all of you plenty of adventures in the next couple of weeks, and fantastic boob-jobs and excruciatingly growth-ful family experiences and..well...health!! XXXXX

Thanks Kerry and Linda.  I can already imagine the red plastic tree with the ornaments.  It made me laugh.  I will think of that today when it gets crazy at the hospital.

Conversation I can imagine with the above vision:  "Honey, the ornaments are staring at me.  See, they follow me wherever I go."  Might want to check into the mental section of the hospital today!

Hugs to all - Julie

I am sitting here laughing, with tears streaming down my cheeks!  We had a good "visit" with our granddaughter etc., but there's nothing like coming here and reading a few posts from my May '08 sisters to cheer a person up and put her in the holiday spirit.

Anguishing for a year about a red, 18-inch tree that turned out to have only two feet, so it never would have stood on its own anyway?  Sounds like something I would have done. I bought a little, green tree a few years ago. It looked pathetic at the store -- a scrawny thing, with spindly branches but lots of promise. It was on sale, and I couldn't resist. When I got it home, I discovered most of the branches were still wrapped around the trunk (hence the scrawny, spindly appearance). Once I unwound everything and fluffed the "needles", the tree looked wonderful.  No kidding -- people have assumed it was a real tree. I bought a whole bunch of cute, size-appropriate ornaments. All in all, it looks quite charming ... when I have a chance to put it up and decorate it, of course.

I didn't want to scrunch the branches around the trunk to fit it back into the box (the branches aren't removable), so Mr. otter made me a nice wooden frame with plastic sides to store the tree safely between seasons. It's in the basement. Yesterday, though, Mr. otter said he wanted me to buy a new tree -- one with removable branches, that could be stored in a smaller space. He hates seeing that big, wooden, plastic-sided frame all the time. It gets in his way (he says). I don't "use" the tree, so I should just throw it away and buy a "modern" one that can be disassembled and stored in the attic in a fraction of the space. He's not very sentimental about holiday decorations....

His idea did not go over very well.   (      I think he has decided he would rather put up with the wooden-framed, plastic-sided box with the little tree inside, than with otter being sad about throwing away the little tree she "rescued" and nourished into a tiny beauty.

Other news:  the baby-sitting went very well. I found that I can handle most anything, except when a 3-year-oldl has an unexpected and totally unwarranted hissy fit about ... well, ... not wanting to eat chicken (her favorite meal); insisting on washing her own hair in her own way; not allowing her upper, back teeth to be brushed (but being unable to brush them herself); wanting to watch Dora for the 3rd time while others in the household would like to watch the evening  news just once; ... oh, the list is fairly long, and it changed every day.  No major problems; nothing that was really important; so I learned to sigh and let it go, adopting the classic grandparents' mantra:  not my problem! (Heh heh.) 

She really was lots of fun, and she is so smart... I found her a placemat with a map of the U.S. on it, and she learned -- in about 3 minutes flat -- the location of the state that she lives in, the state where Grandpa and otter live, the place where Grandpa and otter went on vacation last summer (and they went fishing!), the state where otter's mom and dad live, and a couple more. Oh, and the North Pole (where You-Know-Who lives).  Phenomenal.  And I can't even take credit for the genetic basis.

Cris, you are a genius. You are exactly right about the "HRC" situation.  It helped me to learn more about that (thanks to Dr. Google), because I can see this as a psychological problem now, and not just stubbornness.  I'm not going to be able to "fix" it; I'll just have to learn to cope with it. I hope you are feeling better by now.  This year's flu season has been so weird.  I was able to get an H1N1 shot before we started traveling; but I keep reading about high-risk people who haven't found the shots yet. And now, the outbreak seems to be calming down....

Julie, I'm thinking about you and your family today, and hoping the surgeons find something uncomplicated.

kerry, once again you've made me laugh.  Your red tree, covered with Julie's goggle-eyed ornaments. Priceless.  Can you recover those lost pics?  I live dangerously -- one of the few risks I take in life is the failure to back up my hard drive often enough.  Mr. otter keeps warning me that some day, I'll lose it all, including my iPhoto files. Gotta get on that.

Jean, your plantar fascia (?) will recover and you'll be back in marathon form soon.  Rest it now.  It's too cold and snowy outside anyway.  Feet up; hot chocolate in hand; carols on the player...

Linda, are you back up to > 5 posts now?  (I've noticed some of the stuff that's going on elsewhere in the boards....).  I am staying out of places where I might get into trouble. T'is the season to be jolly, and all that.  I'm worried I got Noelle mad at me over something I posted in a discussion on her FB page.  I need to keep my nose out of things like that.

It's so nice to be able to come here.  I love you all...

Hugs...  otter 

Who could stay mad at you otter? ;O)

Spent most of my day baking cookies. Finally to get them done for this year. Tomrrow is a cmas recital for my kiddo and a dentist appt for him and a trip to my mom's to drop off said kiddo for a few days. She is going to watch him till I get home from the hospital. It'll give dave a break.

I have a million things to say and none of them are coming to mind..... yay for chemo brain :OP

Happy Wednesday!  It is cold, but sunny so it is a good day.  My FIL got through his surgery fine on Monday.  The doc didn't run into any complications and was able to remove the upper right lobe.  We will still have to see what the final pathology says, but nothing looked obvious as far as the lymph nodes go.  They were running way behind which frazzled everyone's nerves, but what can you do?  Nothing, but some don't get that.  I've never wanted to tell some relatives to "shut the ---- up" more than I wanted to on Monday.  Duct tape would have worked on many people.  He is still in CCU but should get moved to a regular room later today.  We've been able to see him and he was sitting in a chair yesterday afternoon and griping about the food.  He's feeling much better.  My dh has a sinus something and hasn't been able to go out there and Katie has a very stopped up head.  The hospital changed the vistor's policy so my girls can't go to visit him anyway.

Tree is still pretty much the same.  I am so glad it is pre-lit.  The light reflects every so delicately off all of the GOOGLY EYES!  LOL  I still have good intentions.  The girls get out of school tomorrow so we may pull an all nighter.

Thanks for all of the cards.  I will try to send winter cards in January.

It's all crazy, but we are getting through it.

Hugs to all - Julie

January cards! An EXCELLENT idea!  Maybe I can send mine from LAST january....sigh......XXXX