Write the story five words at a time

as these are NOT your

A Man Called Ned Said -Chapter 3

The next day we decided to go to the best five star restaurant for some of the best food and wine, followed by an evening of sinfully delightful indulgences in yet another fine restaurant that specialized in fluffy crepes and an "all you can eat" dessert bar with gorgeous men hand feeding us the many brownies, chocolate, cakes, pies and  giant size chocolate covered strawberries and everything else that we can imagine or dream up.  So once we had satisfied our enormous appetites, we decided to go horse-back riding to work up an appetite for some fun on the beach, where we can strut our stuff, casting our eye on more candidates to join our sinful feast of greasy food even though we must take care of ourselves during this time of man servant interviews.

It was very hot inside and we fanned ourselves with the help of strong big palm fronds as we watched the shark pulling down a man servant "want-to-be" stripping off his shorts and then we discovered he was taking Viagra all his life.  Even though it never worked before,  (it) was working that morning, much to the shark's delight, because it was stiff as a raw and cold hotdog.  A jumbo hot dog quivering in the breeze as everyone waited to see what the shark might decide to do with the hot dog dangling in the water as the waves rolled and the shark's teeth were gnashing as the horrified sun bathers stared and couldn't look away as this incredible horror unfolded.  As the shark's mouth opened one sun bather fanited as he was watching the man use his swim trunks to wiggle his hot dot at the hungry, angry sharks that held the bottle of ketchup in between their fins and WAIT. . . Geraldo is arriving via a surfboard, his microphone ready to broadcast to the world!  The only man who knows how sharks like their hotdog!  The sharks appear crazed as they see all the equipment all flat and bended down yet this somehow increases the fun and laughter as we watch he shark eat Geraldo's hot dog and enjoying the sight and sound of the circus like atmosphere that was created by the media as the pathetic victim was half way down.  In the screaming,  he accidentally dropped a portion of the hot dot down the nearest shark's gaping and waiting mouth as everyone looking on was cheering for the barely conscious victim who suddenly woke up and shouted "I could've had a V-8!"

  The observers on the shore were no longer as interested when the shark left with out Geraldo in his mouth.  About a week later the details of this hoax were so exaggerated that the big "bosses" at Fox News announced the retirement of Geraldo's hotdog but he said "No way!!!!!" Until O'Reilley's hot dog retires his would be ready and always an upstanding example for all Viagra dependant men lacking a hotdog quick to "report" for the needed task.  But Geraldo's assistant was fantastically "talented" and envied the man-servants.  When she showed up without any ketchup, mustard, or relish and said "what's going on????"  "What's going on what?" asked the man-servant as he started to take a bite out of a big, juicy hotdog, but then he realized it wasn't a hotdog but it was something very similar.  What was it?  It was a super spicy pepperoni roll! With that the paparazzi left and that is the end.

 Now it is time to return to eating bakery goodies adding to our beautiful, round bodies, and drinking our favorite drinks served by our hunky, g-string clad man-servants who encourage our endless feasting as they cater to our every craving.  As they admire our plumpcious bodies, bakery breath, and soft sultry  whispers about forbidden vices and tantalizing treasures to enjoy whenever we desire or whenever we need to have what we require to survive the next 39 days without dropping any cherished pounds from our round, soft bodies, which we camouflage in tight black spandex to accentuate our delightful and enviable yet colossal thighs that clap when walking to the ice cream parlour to get a big banana covered with whipped cream and then find the manager to inquire about being paid "tasters" and samplers of all delights to help maintain our tonnage that's admired by all of the connoissueurs of substantial sized members of the smarter sex who know that more tonnage the more to love and always the most envied "catch" --if you can catch them wiggle waggling along the beach--often mistaken for beach balls in their brightly colored bikinis exposing scars and radiation tattoos that go unnoticed due to the excess of joy and huge rolls of plumpness covering our battle weary bodies.  Next on our agenda is to party hearty, just as soon as the fire eaters arrive and the firemen, whose bodies glisten with sweat from the weight of the hoses they so proudly carry, ready to do their job at a fire eater's convention that we crashed for the stupendous buffet!  Happily, we indulged until there was nothing left but the craving for other indulgences of cake and icing covered firefighters, and (the) whipped cream wrestling event followed by the chocolate dipping of biceps and triceps and taut strong thighs, ready to wrestle us in the cream and then lick us clean until they are so tired and fall asleep in our wrestling pit.  Then we all fall asleep and dream about sugarplums, holiday ornaments, family traditions and gorgeous firemen ready with enormous fire hoses all ready to douse our flaming, hot barbecues,  while keep aflame our chocolate fondue pots for the strawberries fed to us by our many faithful admirers who look at us in disbelief as we always want more than our mothers said we should ever have. But that is not up to her as these are NOT your sexy belly rolls that jiggle

To Be Continued

to the nearest water to

in the nude to the

 Boston Symphony orchestra's relaxing music

the raspy tones of Rod

as they too disrobed and

the shock value as the

their fingers, beckoning them over

they just could'nt believe that

and potatoes men.  The old

recognition; in fact, they looked

appetizing, even with ketchup so

elsewhere, and find us some

doing the impossible; for example