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Emomma
Emomma Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hello everyone, I'm brand new to the boards and feel so helpless and scared..Just reading through some of these I feel that you all are a lot more informative than the dr's..This is for my mom, who was diagnosed with BC on Oct 30th 2009. She will be 62 in December. After a routine breast exam her gyno found a lump. My mom was always one of those "I hate dr's and never do self exams" type. 3 years ago she started going back to the gyno. Anyway, her dr found the lump and sent her for a mamo/ US and biopsy, found out it was cancer. I spoke to her breast surgeon and the plan was to do chest xray, bloodwork, ekg and MRI. she highly recommended a lumpectomy(sp). I live 4.5 hrs away so I was on the phone with her dr. at the time and she said the size of the tumor was stage 1 because of the size of it. Well she had the surgery and the dr called my brothers and I into the room and told us that it is in her lymph nodes and that she was also "shocked' to find another tumor under her nipple that MRI, U/S, mamo and chest xray did not see at all.. She removed her nipple and the original tumor plus more lymph nodes. she said that coming out of the surgery she is now stage 2..Now, this past Thursday dr calls with the final pathology report that in just the extra tissue she took out she has 13 other tumors OMG!!  Plus 7 of 21 lymph nodes have cancer. She is now stage 3..My mom also is diabetic and is on insulin PLUS she has a kidney disease. her dr is saying that she must have chemo. my mom keeps flip flopping back and forth. one day she will do it, the next she says NO WAY! I think after the diagnosis of Thursday she will do whatever they say..She is going to her first oncoligist visti this wednesday and I'm praying he can ease her mind a little..I feel so numb right now and I'm just hoping someone can point us in the right direction, this is so overwhelming, My poor mom is SO strong but I know she is terrified but doesn't want to show it..I would love it if someone can give us  some direction..My mind is running a million miles a minute I don't even know where to start..I want her to do the best for her and I'm scared of the results of chemo with her other health issues. Any suggestions would be so appreciated, thank you so much and Im looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Kim

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited November 2009

    Hi Kim.  Sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis.  You will get a lot of help and support here!  Cancer is very unpredictable - I, and others, started out as stage 1 also. 

    Chemo, for me, was not fun but doable and not as scary once I actually got started.  I never vomitted, never had mouth sores, did lose my hair :-(  but as you can see that is now back.

    I dont know much about her other health issues.  You will also want to find out her hormonal status and her2 testing asap. 

    Sorry you need us but glad you are here

    Mary

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  • Emomma
    Emomma Member Posts: 5
    edited November 2009

    Hi Mary, Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post..When I spoke to the surgeon she did say that her tumor was responsive to estrogen, but now with all of these other tumors we just found out about, I have no idea if they are the same kind or not..She does have IDC..This is so overwhelming I just hope that the oncologist can explain things better and somewhat ease our minds. I'm not sure what you mean by "2 testing" means..Everyone is also suggesting a second opinion. Do you think she should have one from an oncologist or breast surgeon? Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it.

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  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited November 2009

    Emomma...Sorry about everything your mother is going through. The answer to your question about "2 testing" really is called HER2+  if she is tested positive The DR will recommend Herceptin thats beside the chemo. Its a maintenance chemo for 52 weeks once a week or sometimes its every 3 weeks Thats really something her DR has to decide.

    Second opinion is a very smart thing to do, this way you can have piece of mind for sure.

    Oncologist decides what kind of treatment she needs. Find out the status of HER2..

    Good Luck

    Sheila

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited November 2009

    It's not uncommon for the staging to change after surgery - before surgery I was told they thought it was stage 2, but sugery confirms the staging, which actually put me into stage 3.  Because all of this is so overwhelming be sure to write down questions you have for the oncologist before you speak with him/her.  You will also find a lot of information here and Susan Komen's website is full of information as well as information on chemotherapy and radiation.  As Mary said chemo isn't fun, it's doable.

    I'm sorry you have to be here, but you will find a lot of support and good luck.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited November 2009

    Kim - just want to add my welcome too. So sorry to hear about your mother, but I am glad you have found us. The Stage 3 women are the best!! You will find plenty of good info and advice, as well as wonderful support.

    As Mary said above, Chemo is no picnic, but certainly not as horrifying as you may think. I would urge her to seriously consider it. I had two or three days each round that I was a bit useless, but the rest of the time I was pretty functional - I have two little kids and managed with them fine. A lot of others continue working throughout.

    By all means get a second Oncologists opinion - she will be seeing a lot of her, so it is important she has one she feels comfortable with. 

    Hope all goes well. this is the most overwhelming part - once she gets a treatment plan in place and gets started, things will seem much more managable. 

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited November 2009

    Hi there,

    Come here often for all your thoughts, feelings, and questions.  We are here for you and your mom. This is the hardest part-the beginning. Is she getting scans?

    Best advice : get a 2nd and 3rd opioun and go to THE BEST cancer insititute you can find. Also, make sure you oncologist is a breast speciailist.

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  • Texas357
    Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited November 2009

    Hi Kim -- I agree with PureE. Finding a team of specialists you trust is essential. I too went from Stage 2 to Stage 3 after surgery -- it's very common. This is the period of time when you feel like the rug keeps getting pulled from beneath you because you keep finding out new things. It does get better. You and your mom will find your footing as the treatment plan comes together.

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited November 2009

    Hi Kim

    Sorry to hear about your mom, but glad you found us.  This board is a great place to come to ask questions, even rant!  We've all been there.

    The beginning of getting a cancer d/x is very scary for everyone.  Once your mom meets with the oncologists, she will feel so much better as a treatment plan will be  in place.  Make sure someone goes with her and the oncologists will be giving out a lot of information and need to have some info written down as it can become very confusing.

    Get the status on the hormonals and HER2 is very important.  This will determine the type of treatment she will be having. 

    As the others sisters said, chemo, while  not fun, is doable.  A lot of ladies on this board have young families to care for and still work their full time job!  She will get through it and everyone side effects are different from one person to another.

    Please keep us posted how your mom is doing.  We are all pulling for her.

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  • Emomma
    Emomma Member Posts: 5
    edited November 2009

    Aww, thank you all for the wonderful welcome and the info..I will be sure to ask the status of HER2. I 'm still overwhelmed with all of the information I'm finding, looking for another dr for a second opinion (mom has medicade) a lot of places won't take it. I will say though through all the reading I've been doing lately I honestly do not fear cancer anymore! I was one of those people who didn't even like to say the word. In the past few weeks since her diagnosis and somewhat understanding it, I'm not as terrified of it as before! Of course you hear and read sad stories, but WOW I can't believe how many men and women have kicked this thing in the butt and are living LONG LONG lives..I actually was sick, terrified to google breast cancer or any type of cancer for that matter but now I am SO glad I did and am learning more and more..I'm the one who is looking up "worse case senariao" type cases  and I'm amazed at how many people Go on with their lives long after being diagnosed with the most grim news. I think this is definitely a wake up call from the good guy upstairs to slow down and live in the moment, because NOBODY is promised tomorrow, this is just a big bump in the road and You all, my mom, me(if ever diagnosed) and everyone else WILL beat it! It's a yucky disease that everyone is fighting BUT it is NOT who we are..YOU (WE) WILL ALL OVER COME THIS!!

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