Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake
Comments
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How did I get so bold?
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Bold is good Leggy, cancer does that to ya. I love the continuing saga of the bloody pooo. It makes me feel at home.
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Feeling left out here ... have haemorroids (sp?.. what a word) from childbirth, giving birth to my DD's that is not my birth. WT..crikey, it is Friday after work here and I am beat (sound like you Mary) didn't budge off my butt all day sooo busy. whinge whinge whinge
Hey Renee I thought that was you with the hot flashes nite.. you should cut and paste it on this thread. It was brilliant. There are a few "keepers" from my time on BCO and that was one I will always remember.
Is it too early for a glass of wine?
Hope everyone is enjoying their day/nite.
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Helena....."Crikey?" I like that. Maybe that should be our code word for our curse words. Mmmmm, too many syllables. We need something sharp and quick. A one syllable something. Perhaps you can give us an Australian suggestion.
(edited to add: cheers Helena)
Anyway Helena, ...ask and ye shall receive. This is from my blog. I don't remember how much I shared on BC.org.
Help, I'm melting.
I'd like to add hormones to the list of body functions one should never screw around with especially if they play a big part in regulating your body temperature.In case you didn't know, hormones are the directors of your body; they control your growth, sexual desire, sleep patterns, appetite and mood just to name a few. Physically and emotionally your body is being driven by your hormones and they affect every organ and system in your body. When your hormones are out of whack it can wreak havoc on your quality of life.
Fluctuations in female hormones, or in my case the complete shut down, tell the brain to wrongly assume the bodies core temperature needs to be warmed up. The body then responds by raising the heart rate, dilating blood vessels and opening sweat glands creating a festival of hot flashes and night sweats. Day sweats too.
When they are prematurely shut down with pharmaceuticals and the removal of the ovaries, the side effects can be extreme, lasting for years. They say they get better over time but I think they're all lying.
I have a newfound compassion for boiled lobster....a good ten minute boil and come out soaking wet, bright red and feeling thoroughly violated by some unforeseen force I can't get away from.
I decided to record the nighttime saga but only because I can't sleep. By the way, we now have a large 747 size fan at the foot of the bed and I no longer drink out of a glass. It's bottled water only for this girl. Well I think I'm still a girl.
Preparation:
Hand towel. Check.
Two dry pillows. Check.
Fresh glass of cold water. Check.
Roll heavy bedspread to foot of bed. Check.
Window opened as wide as it can go. Check.
Open tacky Japanese paper fan found at a garage sale. Check.
Take hand full of pills some of which I have no idea what they do. Check
11:00 PM - Sleeping aid kicks in.
11:46 PM Wipe off sweat from furry head.
12:13 AM Flip off blankets and grab tacky fan.
1:05 AM Sweat some more. Change cotton t-shirt and flip over pillow #1.
2:16 AM Nocturnal bladder calls. More fluid exists the body. Drink from glass of water in hopes of preventing dehydration.
2:30 AM Attempt to go back to sleep.
2:55 AM Scoot over closer to husband to get out of the puddle of sweat. 10 minutes later - body heat causes husband to sweat. Move back to wet spot. Drink more water.
4:17 AM Wipe of head and face with hand towel. Swing wet towel at daughter's cat drinking out of glass of water. Vow to only drink from bottle with a lid. Try to shut out image of cat cleaning self the day before.
5:33 AM Accidently wake husband up while changing to pillow #2. Ask husband to feel how wet pillow number one is. Watch husband grimace. Hope husband isn't thoroughly disgusted by soaker hose wife. Note to self....Don't mention this to husband again for fear of disgusting said spouse and encouraging his dreams of younger dry female.
6:00ish AM - Finally fall asleep and dream about beautiful waterfalls. Oops...that's me sweating again.
8:00 - 8:30 AM Time to get up. Change to dry clothing. Fake laugh at stupid husband's recommendation to sleep on a shower Curtin. Have coffee, read paper, add the following to my list of things to do:
1. Research: moisture wicking pajamas and herbal remedies sure to be found in our tie die wearing, hairy legged community.
2. Add grapefruit to shopping list in hopes of having a short reprieve from hot flashes. (Grapefruit prevents Tamoxifin from working for 48 hours) Recall chemo.....scratch grapefruit off list.
10:30 AM Doctor returns phone call regarding relief from Mount Saint Helen hot flashes. Only option.....hormones. Weigh death over hot flashes. Quickly choose hot flashes.
Sound like fun? My savings grace is that I'm not moody or emotional as I had anticipated. RIGHT MIKE? He's shaking his head yes. Or maybe he's just shaking
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Thanks for the preview...I'm starting my 5-Year sentence of Tamox. tomorrow.
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BRILLIANT...
Will put on my thinking cap for a code word. My father, all of 86, says "gasp and shudder"... mmmm ...my 7 year old daughter thinks he says "gasp and shuddup" - haven't enlightened her yet though.
Elimar - good luck - 9 months down and doing really well - hardly any side fx to speak of and an Extensive Metaboliser to boot.
This is for all you "old school" gals...on oldie but a goodie
droool.....
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ooh Helena--yummy.
Renee--too funny! You should cut and paste that to a document so you have it--it's too good to let go.
Just watched The Ugly Truth--formulaic but pretty amusing....now dog is falling asleep and so am I...off to bed.
Leggy-so glad you were brave and talked to a dr--and avoided talking to Dr Dreamy Dane...
I had some problems too and I think it was not drinking enough water. Fiber with not enough water = problems...
on that note (!) 'night 'night ladies! And good morning Helena!
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Elimar.....everyone is different. I have an extreme case, the DR tells me. I don't mind the hot flashes but the sweating is awful. I sweat profusely when I drink alcohol or meet with clients; just to name a few situations.
I'm desperately trying to find a cold pack that resembles a scarf to maybe prevent some embarrassment with clients. It makes me look nervous. I hate that.
I'm now taking Clonadine(sp?). It helps but I've noticed that when I eat less, and healthy, they diminish in frequency and severity. I get maybe one or two per day....when I eat well.
Contrary to my behavior on this site lately, (I've snapped at a few people that I thought were not being kind to my peeps) my mood and disposition are better than ever before.
Maybe I'm just happy to be alive.
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Huba, huba!!!!
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Leggy!!!! I am SO proud of you!!!! (Although I want to kick your arse for letting yourself suffer without seeking help for so long!!!!!!)
Renee- how I adore you.. the feeling at home for the story of poo. Damn there was something else i wanted to post but I forgot. Today was a rollercoaster. I was all calmed out about the legal crap and not taking Xanax partially because I had that meeting with a friend lawyer to discuss, meanwhile my lawyer went off and did things without asking and that drove me nuts. Meeting went well, but as you can see it's 330am (QOTD on AIM?) my sleep is disrupted. WELL ITS NOT BECAUSE OF TAMOXIFEN. But I'm doubly scared because people do have sleep issues on Tamox and if I push it, it can't be helpful. Such is the obsession thought in my head in the middle of the night. So I took a Xanax and came to the boards and that's my excuse for this rambling.
QOTD so happy you're here. Well you know what I mean, right? Like I wish for you you were somewhere better but for me, I am delighted to see you here talkin bout your derrière. Oh since we're on derrière (and I'm like a drunk at this point thanks to stress, disrupted sleep and xanax, oh no, drunk posting! ) histories, and everyone's already heard my colonoscopy/acupuncture/temporary-tattoo-of-van-gogh-masterpiece-sideways-on-my-ass story, oh crap that took so much energy to do the dashes I don't feel like typing out my derriere story, or even doing the little accent over the e. Well, I bet no one will miss it. Anyway, the point is as embarrassing as addressing issues with our buttocks is, is damned essential to your health and your life so drop the politesse- and your drawers and schlep your ass, literally, onto the exam table. The only thing worse than bringing your ass in for an exam is letting your ass kill you. And its a LOT worse. Oh I am just a ball of fun tonight! I wasn't in trouble before but maybe will be now!
Oh back to QOTD's post... yeah, Renee rocks. Lucky me, I met her on my very first thread here, the March RADS girls. I do NOT know what I would have done without her. There was a FABULOUS quote from our fearless leader there, TorchSong. She quoted Eleanor Roosevelt, "Women are like teabags, they don't know how strong they are until they are in hot water."
WOOHOO THANK YOU FOR REPOSTING RENEE - you know I went out and bought huge chamois for my bed and special night sweats lingerie after reading that?
elimar- IT MIGHT NOT BE SO BAD! In fact, statistically its usually not so bad. Keep a good thought
So far, it's been a breeze for me, and I am only afraid to say so because I don't want to jinx it.
The mods answered me I think, but I haven't had the courage to read my PMs. If someone else sent me a PM (or the mods) and needs an answer, please accept my apologies. Alligators far too close to my ass these moments. I am wimping out wherever I can.
Ahhhh Paul Newman. Yummy, everything except the cigarette. Today I had to cross the street to get out from behind two elderly smokers. AUGH.
Allie- oh I should get that on Tivo- Ugly Truth, I forgot... Oh and WATER, right. I have been pretty perfect about drinking enough water each day since DX/RADs etc but this lawsuit stress I noticed I am NOT finishing the bottle, right now a third less (Going now to drink more ,thanks for reminder.) Everyone should be hydrating! This may explain some other nasties as well. Although some claims for benefits of drinking plenty of water are controversial, there's plenty of obvious benefits- like you mention regarding elimination
(See, I can be Queen of the Euphemism if I really try. Well, sometimes.)
Happy to be alive!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!
Oh that was a funny point in my chat with the lawyer this evening. Since his wife is an SFBC pal, and at one point she showed up and we're talking about my dire legal problem and its consequences and then we all had a big laugh comparing it to SFBC crap. The kind of laugh and understanding a non-patient couldn't have.
Oh dear, Rachel's being even odder than usual ... wonder if I'll be deleting this tomorrow...
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Yes, I did notice you posted at 3:30 am. I am usually the one who does that. I wake up often at that time and then I can't get back to sleep. OF course worrying about that makes it worse. So , I don't anymore.... I Post!!
I am glad those days are over with my dd; the days of getting up when she is sick, or has a bad dream, etc. Now, I just have to go through driver's training practice with her. Crikey!!! The girl does not seem to get it. Oh, now those are a bunch of stories that some day I'll laugh over. Crikey again!
Well, I am off to work and I hope everyone has a nice day. shakeshake!
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Hi girlies! So I went to the mall to do my walk the other day and got a kick out of a couple of older ladies...they stopped ahead of me and were staring into the Abercrombie & Fitch store, they started giggling and then finally sauntered off. So I peeked over in the direction they were looking and saw the 2 HUGE pictures of 2 of the cutest guys that looked like Paul Newman above in Helena's post (HI HELENA!)...I got the biggest kick out of that!
edited to add link: http://www.abercrombie.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/home_10051_10901_-1
Onc appt. yesterday was uneventful, she still doesn't have the results of the CYP2D6 test and after talking to her more, I am going to look into the genetics testing further. Gained 3 pounds! She said Tamox could cause this but asked if I'm eating more these days and I said well yeah, and she laughed but did say I got very thin during chemo and I look great, so there!!
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Stupid question, Paul is wearing a star of David in that pic- was he Jewish? Oh I just looked it up, his father was Jewish and he identified with being Jewish "because it's more of a challenge". Wow.
jrgolomb- I think worrying about my kid driving will keep me up many more nights than ANYTHING AUGH!!!! I am already worried about who he's going to fall in love with...
yeah i was lucky, I caught QOTD on AIM and chatted until 5am, then passed out cold
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ooooohhhhhhhhh, Helena, thanks for the picture of Paul Newman. sfggsg rfgt --- sorry, drool all over the keyboard now....Now, there was a celebrity worthy of adulation, as good on the inside as on the outside. Married to the same woman for 50 years (his quote, when talking about infidelity: "Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?"). But yep, have to agree with Rachel, that cigarette is the only thing wrong with that picture -- and lung cancer was probably the cause of his death.
Renee, how funny, I was just reading your blogg yesterday and ran across the hot flash diatribe. You describe it perfectly! For me, that's the worst SE of Tamoxifen.....so guess that's something I'll learn to live with.
I feel so badly for those of you who can't sleep. That is one thing that really affects me. I feel such a physical difference the next day. Usually this hits me only when traveling, but I did have a bout right before my mastectomy and finally saw a Dr. about it. Gave me some pills that worked fairly well -- that I can't take now because of the Tamoxifen, but that's OK because for now, I'm sleeping. And because of our SFBC, I think our sleep is ESSENTIAL to our health!
OK, need to get my act together and make my usual trek to my hometown today to play with my 7-year great nephew. He gets out of school at 3 so have to be out of here by about 2. We have such a good time together and I truly think he helps me stay young (at heart, anyway).
TGIF!!! Have a great weekend, ladies!
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kari- nah... faceless, hairless boy bodies... Very interesting what we find when we have to go digging for genetic info eh? Did you tell them you been chowing on steak? Such a good girl!!!! I remember they were concerned you might be anorexic before, so proud of you gaining a couple pounds! Celebrate!
I spent a good amount of time today playing with my kid and laughing my arse off. Life is good.
Oh and I happened to be by my building manager's office, so I figured I'd try to see if I could get a break on my new lease. Its another thing I have been stressing over, asking for a month's free rent- that was a tip from a neighbor, they'd rather give a month's free rent than reduce the rent by 10%, assuming I guess that next year the economy will suddenly be better and they can show higher rents... whatever... so I go in and chat with these two guys, the one I thought was in charge of my rent. And I am just blabbing around stuff because it turns out he's not the guy and the other guy is in the right position but is only in my building today covering for the guy I need to ask who is out sick. And they said Oh is that your son we see playing outside every day? Their office is near the garden. I said yes and they were going all moon-eyed about how cute my kid is
so I am enjoying that and chatting and stuff and as I am leaving the filling-in guy says hey, do you want me to see about getting a free month's rent for your new lease? He offered to ask the guy for me and get back to me! I was so happy! I say, my son did that for me
I get lots of good stuff because that kid is so cute
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Oh crap, PattyB part deux is right on all counts- Paul Newman died of lung cancer. SFC!
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Rachel...your kid is SO cute!! and I am glad you get lots of good stuff becuase of him! Paul Newman was SOOOOOO hot. I am a little embarassed to say that I did not know who that picture was of at first. Maybe chemo brain? My first post-chemo appointment and everything is looking good...so happy! Yeah for Friday!!
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The first guy I had the real hots for in high school reminded me of Paul Newman. My guy Jeff...good memories
I heard through the grapevine that his wife was just dx with SFBC....
Rach, Oh how I have been chowing down on steaks and all kinds of stuff since chemo left me crying over not being able to eat! Leggy and I had a mutual lovefest over this topic...YOUR KID IS SO VERY CUTE!!!!! a little heart breaker in the making, that boy. How cool is that filling in guy? That's great! I work amongst commercial real estate agents and you wouldn't believe all the freebies going around right now, so makes sense that residential would have some goodies to throw in too! BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK!! Way cool about that guy noticing your heart breaker kid, just fabulous I say!!!
PattyB, hope you enjoy that great nephew and have a wonderful day!
Crystal, yay for the good appt. post chemo!!
I peeked in and said hi to one of the chemo nurses yesterday, she was like "your hair is so cute"!! Then she asked if I was coming in to the chemo room (edited to add into the chemo room for a treatment), I said "oh hellllll no!!!" we had a good laugh and a hug. Those girls are the best!
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Hi ladies, mind if I join you? Read through the entire thread, laughing so hard, I was crying. You girls are just too damned funny (oops, was that a swear word??), and wow is this forum fast paced! No way can I catch up on the conversations, but have to comment on HelenaJ's pic of PAUL...no last name needed. OMG, I got a hot flash looking at it. That is one beautiful man. RIP.
If the NORCAL girls get together again..... I'm in San Jose.
Debbie
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Kari- i know what you mean about those chemo nurses. They are the most knowledgeable, professional, compassionate women I have ever had the privilege of being around. On my last day of chemo many of them cried with me as I left. I miss them!
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Hi Debbie, Hi there! I lived in San Jose before moving up to the Sacramento area. My younger DD lives in Campbell and works at Valley Fair!
Crystal, same thing happened to me, I had my absolute favorite of course but did cherish all...well except nazi nurse (that was my nickname for her...she SCARED me) haha
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Kari - yes I had my favorite also. And the one not so favorite...the butcher!
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I am still without my laptop. Wah!!! It makes keeping up with this thread so, so hard.
Debbie, I live in Santa Cruz. Maybe we should start a Central CA girls group? I wonder if anyone else lives in Central CA. Although, I will say Napa was sure a nice place to meet!
I am so happy it is Friday! Tomorrow, I am going climbing and I am totally excited to be getting out.
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Hi kfinnigan--small world! I was just at Valley Fair earlier this week. How you liking Sacto?
lisa-e, nice to meet you! I had looked for a bc group in this area and only came across a post about a year ago from a girl in Pleasanton, looking for more of us in this area. She never got any replies. You climbing inside or out?
Good weekend to all!
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DebbieS- WELCOME. Clearly you are one of us!
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It is getting ready to snow in Denver tonight. This is a good thing, it means that when I am sleeping with all the windows open I will cool down a little quicker. I guess my DH will have to sleep in his ski clothes tonight!
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Crystal a SUPER HURRAH from my demented mental cheerleaders for the good exam!
Speaking of which, chelev? Chelev? (said in the same way as "Bueller")
lisa-e Oh there is NO way to keep up with this thread.
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Here's a playdate: PattyB part deux's nephew, Crystal's son and my kid
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I want to be at that playdate!! how cute would that be?
DebbieS - Sacto is HOT HOT HOT in the summer! I am a Bay Area girl and I still can't take the heat! My DH works at Lockheed and has an apt. in Sunnyvale, stays down there and home on Sunday afternoons. I work in Roseville, and it is a neat city. I get down to the bay area, my siblings live there too, but I do love being an hour or so from Tahoe and Napa!!
Lisa-e HI! enjoy your climb tomorrow! YAY!!
Crystal, I am way too cold all the time (except for random warm/hot flushes)...guess I can't come stay with you! haha!!
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Debbie, both - a friend and I are going to the Pinnacles on Saturday, then I am climbing at the local gym on Sunday with my dh. Any chance that you are a climber too?
Rachel, it is true about keeping up with this thread, unless I am avoiding work . . . I am the queen of procrastination . . .
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