Prayers, Blessings & Wishes for Saint

It's Tuesday.

(Must talk to myself with updates.... and reality checks. Which makes me think of standing there in your kitchen and laughing at each other -- cuz neither one of us had any idea what day of the week it was. What a pair. Remembering you laughing is a good thing, Saint. A very good thing.)

I sent a message to your DD on FB, asking for any insight into how you're holding up. I will check there after school's out. Hope that she has news to share.

Know that we are all here. Together on your behalf.

I'll bring a couple gallons of that fresh apple cider that you like so much & maybe some of their little doughnuts, too? Or do you want another ice cream cake?

Your choice.

xx00xx00xx00xx

I'm over at my DD's. I got to have all three blessings to myself all afternoon & evening, so she could have an evening with her elementary school girl friends & Scott could fly night formations in his preparation for departing next month for Afghanistan.

It's what I needed: grandchildren love & adoration. 

I just put up a post on the other thread. Can't get their computer to cut & paste???

The ghist is that I still have not spoken to Saint directly...... but was able to have a FB conversation with her DD tonight....just a bit ago.

Saint has been admitted back to the hospital. Yesterday..... She was home for a brief bit over the weekend, but is now back under complete care. 

I said on the other thread, that in order for our stubborn-as-a-mule friend to have been admitted for any length of time, I'm sure that she's pretty low. The woman wouldn't allow me to drive her home from the hospital -- ten days ago, after her seven hour transfusion. Nothing I said would deter her from driving. And there was absolutely no consideration that she'd ride in the wheel chair available thru the length of the hospital. 

I pray that her stubborn-ness works to her advantage in this immediate chapter. 

I think I'll send her husband a FB message as well. That may be easiest for him to communicate with me/us. 

Now I ramble. 

I am so grateful to each and everyone of you who makes the effort to post..... I know how hard it is -- when you have no idea what to say, or even what's happening right now. I know that she believes it's the prayers that have kept her alive over this past season. 

Her daughter reminded me, 'she's a strong lady.' 

Amen. 

Saint. I'm so proud of your strength thru this unthinkable process. I know that you're completely worn out & I know you're also as stubborn as they come. I can't really bare to think about the amount of pain you must be in now. I pray that they are able to control that more easily in the hospital. 

Girlfriend you have surprised all in the past and bounced back. I know that you feel that since this summer, you've never gotten back on your A game. Know that we are here for you cheering for your decisions, whatever thoughts are in your heart & mind. 

I suppose it's time for me to share publically what you've told me dozens of times privately, "that when it's your time to go -- you want to go as quickly & effortlessly as possible". I've always told you that I'd respect that wish when it was time for you to make it. And respect it I will.

You have been such a treasure to me. In so many ways but I'm incapable of listing right now.

I pray selfishly that you are given more time, more strength and that you rebound to the amazement of all who are tending to you now, but I will pray also -- that whatever you wish comes to be..... and in that day I trust that you will confer some of your strength to me, so that I can trudge on. 

May you be surrounded by angels tonight to ease your burden..... may your committee of angels scatter and surround your entire family, holding them up in your absence from the helm.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx 

It's so good that you let me into your heart. I can never be the same. 

(((((((((((saint))))))))))))))

There is indeed strength in numbers.

We hold hands together, holding one another up -- as we hold you up, saint.

May these day be filled with moments of grace & serenity.

May your medical team be brilliant, insightful & attentive.

May there be some sparkle in your memories of easier days.

xx00xx00xx00xx

((((((((((((saint))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((saintsisters)))))))))))

I'm not sure I can bring myself to type this.............. because once I see it on the screen I will have to force myself to accept that this is what I heard. (copied from the other thread)

I just got off the phone with Saint.

We had a very brief conversation, when she was able to speak.

She was a reporter with facts:

"I have an enlarged spleen.

I have had 6 transfusions in 5 days, or maybe 5 transfusions in 6 days??

I've run out of options.

You need to know that this is the beginning of the end."

Those of you that have met Pat in person, know that she's never been one to sugar coat a thing.

When I asked her what she wanted me to post here on her behalf, she said to keep it simple, to let you know that they're still discussing treatment possibilities -- but it would appear that there are very few choices available.

When I asked what they were telling their children, she responded that her husband was on the way to go get their daughter from school to bring her to the hospital at this very minute.

I told her that we loved her.

I told her that we were proud of her.

I told her that we would be here sharing stories.

That's all I can remember. She started coughing.

There wasn't time for crying, then.

She had to go.... almost as soon as we started talking, she had to go.  

So I cry now.

I honestly do remember telling her that we all loved her.

I just don't want to hit the submit button.

I don't want this to be the truth..... and it will be once it's on the screen.

Dear Compassionate Father, Dear Creative Mother, Dear Living Spirit within us All,

I ask that you cradle our dear sister in your merciful arms. I ask that you assure her of your love and care. I ask that you hold her with compassion as she looks into the eyes of her family members. I ask that you give them the strength and insight to say what needs to be said to one another. Please hold up her family as they begin to acknowledge what is happening to one another. Give them grace. Grace and mercy. Grace and compassion. Grace and a peaceful acceptance.  

Pat spoke often to me about the difference between healing and wholeness. Her insight was brilliant and her grasp keen, on how those two can be vastly different outcomes. It would seem that my dear friend is not going to have her healing here among us, not in this lifetime, not on this planet, but my God you made her whole -- whole in our midst -- whole in her giving and in her offering of encouragement. Whole in her love & admiration for her family. I'll always be grateful for that. I'll always be grateful for having shared in times of hilarity and happiness.

I really don't want to hit submit, but you deserve to know what's happening.

Thank you to each & everyone of you who is or has ever said a prayer for this journey.... or sent light, energy, wishes and encouragement.

((((((((((((((Pat St. Mary Wilson)))))))))))))

(((((((((Greg, Lucas & Molly Wilson)))))))

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

I do remember saying "Good Bye."

I do remember saying "I love you."

As I sit here sobbing, I realize how fortunate I am to have been able to say these things directly to her. OK. I'm going to hit 'submit' now & then it's going to be real.