Stage II Forum

And it's a journey we didn't choose.

Leah

Athena - that's a familiar story about learning that you had cancer. What else can you do but carry on?

Mine was that I was taking my five year old grandson to his favourite toy store, an independent one in our downtown. Just as I pulled into a parking spot, my cell phone rang, my doctor told me I had cancer.  We carried on to the toy store where I answered "just fine" to the "how are you question" from the owner who I know, and then we went to the restaurant next door for a snack. I remember looking at his gorgeous wee face in the restaurant and telling myself that I would see him grow up. I will.

 Dear Pickle, I too check for bumps and lumps  and wish i could just quit but i''m obsessed lol  maybe one day i'll do it less.

Normal is only a setting on the clothes dryer.   And who has "normal" clothes???   

Hey all,

I hope someone has sent a message to Melissa (?) the moderator to set up a forum not just a thread for us Stage 2 girls?  I would love a forum since it becomes daunting to get through all of the posts without some organization and division.

Lefty, I , too, am  her2+ and er/pr-. I don't know who else is but it would be nice to have a thread in a stage 2 forum for us. I wonder though if it would just be the two of us? LOL

I am a little further out from tx than most of you, I think. I was dxed in Jun of 07 and I am still going thru tx.  I cannot imagine what complications I didn't have.  I never had access to a support group and was able to get counseling this August, finally. My counselor is not nearly as helpful as this site. In fact, I am not sure that she is helping me at all. I feel like I am caught in a whirlpool now.

When my adventure with cancer began, it was a roller coaster. Now it is a whirlpool. I do not check for lumps. I found my lump, not the mammos or docs and I do NOT want to find another one. So in that respect, I am sticking my head in the sand. I am trying hard to believe my oncologists when they say that I have no need to worry. However, when I found myself with agonizing pain in my hip last month, what popped in my head first? Bone mets! Thankfully, it was just bursitis, but I immediately went to the worst possible scenario.

As for the day I learned that it was cancer... I found the lump. I called the OB/GYN and made an appt. She said fibroidadenoma likely but arranged for mammo and U/S to be sure. She told me not to be concerned about waiting for results. She said if it was bad news I would likely hear within 4-5 days. If it was bad news it could be a couple of weeks. So the longer I waited, the better the outcome. That sounded good to me. I told my (former) boss that I would need an hour or two off from work to get some tests run then I would return...  I didn't make it back to work that day...  My radiology tech handed me a post-it note while I was getting dressed after the mammo and U/S...  It was from the radiologist that read my films. It read :  Cancer  Dr. Ward 2pm   Dr Ward was a general surgeon in town.  I won't even go into the rest of the story except to say that I ended up getting treated at Medical College of GA and Dr Ward was dxed with Alzheimer's 3 mths after I saw him.

I had a complete and total nervous breakdown that lasted for four days. I raged, I cried, i denied it, I could not stand hearing the news. I was healthy, exercised regularly, i was slim, had no family history, had no risk factors (supposedly), and had not felt the lump the weekend before I DID feel it. The lump was the size of a small orange - growing aggressively. 

More is in my biography... Now I need to get some sleep. I haven't slept since about 10am Monday. And I need to stay away from that lousy pack of cigs. If I don't, I may never get my recon done. I especially want it finished before my Cobra runs out.

I hope we can get our own forum soon!

C

C

I found my lump in the first week of a 5 week vacation with my kids.  It felt like a marble and I figured it was a cyst.  I did get a little worried and looked up mammogram sites in San Diego, but in the end convinced myself it was nothing.  This was in June.  Drank my way through the whole vacation.  Came back around mid-July and called my OB/GYN.  She got me in pretty quick and thought it was a cyst as well.  Very defined borders, etc.  But we scheduled the mammo and u/s.  Many snafus later, she called to tell me the u/s didn't look like a cyst and that I should get a biopsy.  The weird thing is, the lump had started to flatten out.  It actually felt smaller and I thought it was going away.  Long and the short - BS calls me on a Monday afternoon to tell me it is IDC.  This was at 445 on August 17.  I was supposed to be at a wine dinner at 600, so I went downstairs, told my husband, and tried not to cry for the next 4 hours.

After that, things went pretty fast.  I had a full MRI, a PET scan, and a new scan called a PEM scan (which is basically a PET scan for boobs).  Had another MRI guided biopsy on the right breast (negative, but that one hurt more than anything else!).  Bi-lat mx on September 5, with immediate recon with t/e's.  Surgery to remove necrotic tissue on September 15.  Chemo started on 10/5.   I am scheduled for 6 rounds.  I've now been through 2 tx of TC (Taxotere and Cytoxan), with minimal side effects (knock on wood - or my head).  I even accused my Onc of not giving me chemo.  But since my hair is gone he must be giving me something.

None of the scans showed any lymph involvement or metastases.  The sentinel node biopsy was clear.  There was an enlarged node next to the SNB that the surgeon took and that was clear.  I am very, very lucky because my tumor ended up being Grade 3.  I was very grateful that my BS and PS coordinated their schedules to get me in on Labor Day weekend.

Losing my breasts has been no big deal for me.  I had already had 2 previous breast reductions (yes, you read that right, evidently some surgeons don't know the meaning of REDUCE) and was still a DD.  I have no idea how I had enough breast tissue to get cancer.  But those previous surgeries probably moved everything around so that the lump was actually in a place that I could feel it.  I am looking forward to the greatest breasts that technology and science can create.  Hopefully in B's or C's!!  I have told my PS to keep filling up the expanders until I can no longer see my stomach.  Perhaps not the best idea since the steroids are making me FAT!

The worst part for me so far has been losing my hair.  And I think I may be getting over that now.  I had a henna tattoo put on my skull yesterday.  If this is the way my life is going to be for the next 6 months, or forever, I'd better get used to it.

I worry everyday about whether I am doing enough to beat this.  I went on the website, adjuvantonline, and scared the hell out of myself.  (DO NOT DO THIS if you want to have a relaxing day.)  Basically, that Grade 3 tumor makes everything dicey.  Studies show that the higher grade tumors respond better to chemo. But at least 50 times a day I wonder what is the likelihood that surgery got all of that thing out?  I would dip myself in acid if I thought that would help.

And now I am beating myself up over rads.  I had clear margins, but now my BS is telling me they were close.  She said "perhaps" soft, focused radiation.  What does that mean?  And what would they focus on?  I had a mx and she did not mark the spot where the tumor was.  The tumor was in my left breast on the inside.  I just think that is too close to my heart.  My Onc said he would talk to her and that he did not think I would need it.  I want to believe him, but shouldn't I just do it to be safe?  (Even though this will totally screw up my recon schedule.)

CANCER SUCKS, LADIES!!   

I think this forum is a great idea.   We seem to have very similar perspectives on this, and that is comforting.

And that is the first time I have written the whole thing out.  I feel better . . . I think! 

Laura 

Hi Laura. Hope  chemo continues to go well for you.

I'm surprised the bs suggested rads, since you're node negative. However, if the onc says you don't need them I'd certainly go with that. SOC for node negative after mast is usually no rads unless the tumor was close to the chest wall. Remember, a surgeon's job is to cut, an onc's job is to coordinate all the treatment. If you feel you need a second opinion, then go for it.

And I agree with you assessment of cancer.

Leah

... I am also stage II and I think that a forum for us would be great... I was just thinking about that the other day as I looked through the list of forum's to go to... 

Count me in ... ... ~ Dee ~

thanks for the invite! yeah i thought i had alot of nodes taken but since the first two came back microscopically positive, they went and got more. ive read about some people who have had 40 out. wow! anyways i hope everyone having a mild week. stage 2 is an interesting place to be, i feel like i caught it early enough to be able to have different options (4 vs 6 chemos, 5 day rads, lumpectomy) but wish i could have caught it earlier. i parially blame my gyno. my dense tissue and family hx should have warranted an ultrasound, also being put on a high estrogen birth control again with the doc knowing fam hx. anyways have learned LOTS from these boards.

I know I will miss someone that I wanted to send a shout out to because this thread has such great posts (and a great response) we all were obviously just waiting for it!

Mamaq-Prayers for you. I am sure that it is nothing.  We all have been down this road before and hit the cancer lottery but most things found are benign.  Most breast lumps too but you would never know it to visit us here.  Best wishes to you.

Laura- I was node neg too and both my onc and BS thought no radiation but I told them to make me an appointment with the radiation onc. and let him be the decisive voice.  That is his gig.  Ultimately he made the same decision and explained to me the protocol.  If there is some "gray" area for your doc on this ask to see a radiation onc to a final vote. You don't want to miss anything but you also don't want to do anything unnecessary that may cause harm. I felt the same way you do about throwing it all at the cancer but I did feel confident that chemo, surgery, and hormonals would do the trick without the rads. Made my PS VERY happy:)

Coolbreeze-Officially welcome to the Stage 1&2 thread!  Good luck with chemo.  It is tough but very doable. Something that helped me was to cut my hair short the week after my first treatment and then when it started to come out in droves my husband and I went into the bathroom and buzzed it off.  It felt great to have some control over that. First couple of days after were hard but then I totally got into the baldness.  My husband loved it and I had a few pictures done.  I always covered my head when in public but at home I was bald all the time.  It really helps not to have to worry about your hair when you're tired from the chemo.  Now people stop me all the time and say that they love my hair "cut" and I always say this is hair "growth"!  Best wishes as you get chemo organized and, as you feel yucky from it, envision it going in and destroying any little suckers that the surgery did not get.

Anyone else on here do neoadjudavant chemo?  I did and feel like mentally it was good for me because I could see that it was shrinking the tumors.  Of course I also worried that leaving the tumors in could be causing things to travel.  Completely unwarranted fear but you know how this thing plays with your mind.  I do still feel for lumps and bumps even though my expanders are really all I feel.  I do check my chest and collarbone because I saw my onc doing that.  Hope to never feel anything.  I felt the lump in my right breast and that it what started my journey.

I found out that I had cancer by going to the surgeon after my mammo(my first) and u/s and upon first meeting him he said (not hello)," I am 99.9% certain this is cancer".  "The radiologist did not like it and I don't like it".  He said "if it comes back as anything else I will be shocked".  He then proceeded to do my biopsy while his nurse wiped my tears.  After he left the room I started to sob to my best friend who was there with me.  I made her call my hubby.  I made him call my parents.  I could not break the news to anyone.  I don't think I really believed it.  It may sound like the BS was a real jerk but he said "I will not lie to you now so that you will trust me in the future".  He did not lie and I do trust him and love him.  He is the best.  He gives his patients his cell number and actually answers it any time.  What doctor does that? Anyway nothing like having the bandaid ripped off to get you started on cancer treatment!

Stage 1&2 thread rocks. 

I did neo also.   4 dose dense AC, 12 TH, lump and NED after re excision to get larger clear margins.  First time only 1 mm clear, so dr went back to get full 2 mm clear.   herceptin for a yr ended July 2009.  NO rads.  

I go today for a routine follow up mammogram, ultra sound if needed,  and echocardiogram and see the surgeon to review the mammo later this afternoon -- one stop for it all.   It will be a long day, but that is the way it goes.  Last mammo in May showed cloudy area, on the other side, so I had stereo tactic biopsy and it showed calcifications.   I just love not wearing deodorant and going out for all this stress producing "stuff"...   Maybe a t shirt with - I am sweating to find a cure...   is that too weird???   Hugs and Blessings,   Nancy

Dogsaver:  .. Don't blame yourself for not going sooner becauseI just wanted to mention that prior to my breast cancer being discovered, I had had a mammogram Jan./2006 and the lump was not there (mammograms are yearly)...  When I was doing step aerobics in July/06 I kept hitting a sore area on my right side... after I finished exercising, I examined that area, but I didn't feel anything... later on that night, I did a breast exam and still didn't feel a lum, maybe just a slight thickening, but it was hard to tell because I had gained so much weight in my breasts... Well, anyway, I felt that something was wrong...so I mad an appointment with my pcp... she examined me and couldn't feel anything, but then she asked me to sit up and raise my arm... it was only then that she could feel the lump in my breast, but it was not small or hard, it had more or a cyst like feel to it and that is what, initially she thought it was... we still couldn't find out what causing the pain on the right side and it only hurt when I would move my arm a certain way.

 So they scheduled a diagnostic mammogram and ultra-sound; while I was waiting for my results, the breast surgeon came into the waiting room and said that there was a suspicious area and that she could give me the biopsy today... so I agreed (... thankfully my insurance paid for it, because I didn't have a referral for it).. anyway, the biopsy verified cancer, and the ultra-sound showed that the pain was coming from a lymph node that was 5cm...  

Initially my surgeon thought the tumor in my breast was 3cm, but when I had it removed, it was 2.0, and when they received the pathology report they found that the tumor was a fresh tumor, it virtually popped up overnight, because there was no necrosis  or dead tissue on the tumor  that would indicate that the tumor had been there for awhile...  It was not there in January, and when I did my BSE in June, it wasn't there, but it was there in July...this indicates an agressive tumor... 

 ...That is why BSE are so important and when you get your mammogram report they always say to continue doing your BSE ... and always do the BSE lying down, sitting and standing up...  

 I am just glad that I went to the doctor as soon as I had... the pathology report noted that there was no sign of cancer outside of the lymph node, but at 5cm, who knows how long it would have contained it...  ~ Dee~

no mammograms for bilateral mx .... there is nothing there to look at. Physical exam only. However, I don't know what will happen after recon....

Today's mammo was good.  Do not come back for a year - so a bit of a happy dance going back to my car...

But Mom, who is 96 has a very weak heart, after being taken to the ER with shortness of breath and chest pains.  No immediate danger, and she is "stable".   And DIL nephew, born july 27, has something wrong with his esophagus and is referred to a specialist.    His baptism is Saturday.   

Oh how I would love to take off somewhere warm and quiet and have everyone wait on me.   I am mentally exhausted and physically  -- I did get a flu shot !!!   Hugs,   Nancy  

And how much I would like to come with you to that warm place on the beach.

Sheila