Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

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  • kim2005
    kim2005 Member Posts: 49
    edited November 2009

    Hey Rachel! 

    Great thread and I need to learn the handshake as well ;-)

    Funny you mention the pimple on the bad boob!  Last night I look down and see one my incision...I've NEVER had a pimple on my boobs in my life...WTF!  Anyway, I was near my surgeons office today so popped in and they said it didn't look like a problem but they quickly did an ultrasound anyway and it was NOTHING...just a zit :) on my incision site.  Oh the joys and fears of a cancer survivor :)  I bet yours is nothing too!!

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited November 2009

    Crystal, good for you, what a triumph

    So, was explaining and showing the "secret handshake" to DH.  He says to me with a completely straight face,  now, do you do that to yourself, or to the person you are greeting.

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited November 2009

    Rachel, thanks for starting this thread. I LOVE they guys in lab coats with the condoms. Perfect image.

    Of course the hot flashes from the tamox are not what I would call perfect. They're not too bad BUT I already went through menopause about 6 years ago so to have those SE's now is just NOT FAIR.

    All through treatment last year I promised myself that after it finished I would go to the U.S. for a visit with my family. Well, I'm leaving Nov.15 and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!

    So what's the secret handshake?

    Leah

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  • Donalee
    Donalee Member Posts: 160
    edited November 2009

    Thanks for the invite Rachel!

    Wild weekend for me. My youngest turned 13! Had the fam over for his party. Drank waaayyy too much! AAAGH! Then today I got to spend the entire day with my mother. BLAH. I guess it could be worse. hahaha

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  • LittleRed
    LittleRed Member Posts: 223
    edited November 2009

    kmmd:  Your DH is too funny!!  I love it!

    Rachel_BC & Kim2005:  I've used so much lotion due to rads and my HFs are very frequent and I am sweating like crazy, so the zits now appear regularly on my boob - never had that problem before...BC it's an adventure...Rachel, you will probably find it's just a zit!  Try not to worry too much.

    pkb143 & Rachel_BC:  My TE port is metal.  I have a power port from my chemo, but I think that's all plastic (?) so I'm pretty sure that's not their concern. 

    My hair progress comparison says I should compare to Row2, Frame 1 as of 11/2.  I think I'm keeping pace...Grow baby grow: I'll be checking you again on Friday...

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  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited November 2009
    Kmmd, one of the ladies came in last Thursday sicker than a dog. I said "ELAINE...now I have to go behind you and disinfect everything!"...I warned everyone and had to keep going in the kitchen and wiping everything down over and over...she would not stay away! She kept putting her hands on everything and opening the fridge, microwave, she even pawed thru the utensil drawer...she's an idiot. And SO FUNNY about your DH's comment!!

    Hi Ainm! Best of luck to you as you get through the ordeal of cleaning out your mom's place...what an ordeal and I'm so sorry about her dementia. I read your post on Motivation...I understand that feeling upon completing active treatment (i.e. chemo, surgery, rads, etc) that people just expect us to be ‘normal' again. But I still tire out soooo easily. I just accept it and remind others who ask that I am now taking a pill for 5 years that comes with its own se's and they are supportive, cause they have no idea what it feels like. Just gently remind people...don't push yourself too hard.

    Helena, good for you for doing the secret handshake in front of 50 people!! I bet they all loved it!!

    Crystal, thank goodness you are human after all! LOL! You fell off the wagon, that made ME feel better, haha!! GREAT job going sledding with your boy. Now those are memories to cherish!!

    Leah, where are you visiting in the U.S.?? Have a fun and safe trip! Rachel will have to post a pic of the secret handshake!!!!

    ok, back to work.... 

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  • carollynn79
    carollynn79 Member Posts: 654
    edited November 2009

    Hi all, thanks for the invite.  I agree that people do not understand this changes you and the fatigue is frustrating, I am learning to live with it instead of fighting it.  Sometimes my frinds do not understand but they are working on it and I have learned to say no.

    Littel Red, pics are nice, hair is popping out, Rachael speaking of popping out I had a zit on my radiated boob a few weeks ago just figured what next, and now I have some red spots, it is still itchy, ok sometimes I am bitchy and the two may or may not be related!!!!

    Normal, hummm not many have ever used that term with me  LOL

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    a quickie before I forget- the Mad Men Yourself site is still up- check it out and make your own avatar!!!

    http://www.madmenyourself.com

    I'll post the pics we already have in a few... gotta work out with the kid... 

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  • cparandjuk
    cparandjuk Member Posts: 33
    edited November 2009

    Ainm:  8 ozs, but know this is just a guide you can make adjustments to satisfy your needs.  for example, I add almost twice as many mushrooms as called for because I like mushrooms.  I also add 1 additional can of chick peas because I like the soup a little thick...and I add a little Cayenne pepper for a little kick.  Try the recipe and then make changes as you see fit!

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited November 2009

    Hi Rachel,

    Thanks for the invite.  Looks like a fun thread!

    Linda

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  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited November 2009

    Hi there.  I'm in!!!  Hey, I just wanna know if the "Secret Handshake"  feels good! Okay, I haven't read all the information about the posts thus far, but I just wanna key in on a few of the pointers that stood out to me:

    our own twisted sense of humor

    tamoxifen and wearing raincoats

    visualizing tamoxifen wearing condom raincoats

    pictures of hair growth---i am at about row six like kmmd

    For Heidi Ho - I so wish I could have met her. F**k cancer!!!!!!!!

    Hugs and kisses to all (and a secret handshake Kiss for those not so inclined!)

    AND, I am writing this without the benefit of my favorite merlot!!!! 

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited November 2009

    I love the pics of the hair growth--I am probably at the 7th row--- wildly curly and unmanageable..... 

    great thread!!! 

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited November 2009

    Hey Rachel. Thanks for the invite. I've already made this one of my favs. I'm looking forward to lots of great girl talk here. I'm on Arimidex - no real HF but have been having night sweats. Haven't had those for a loooong time. Hair ...... no hair.....I'm only at row 2 and I'm 19 weeks PFC. So slow!!!! But, I found 3 little hairs on my arm today and I got very excited.

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  • LittleRed
    LittleRed Member Posts: 223
    edited November 2009

    I love this - "Which row are you on?" - Great way to keep tabs and follow progress, ladies!

    kfinnigan:

    My rad nurse told me today (she used to work the onc infusion unit, by the way, so she knows the drill) that it takes most people a good year after surgery, chemo, and rads, not to mention recon if they do it, to start feeling like themselves again.  SFBC sucks!!!  I know what you mean.  People don't realize that the SEs and the overall strain on the body takes a long time to recover from, not to mention if you continue therapy like Tamox.  Someone said to me recently "the surgery must have been hell".  I said no, the chemo was far worse.  He looked like he was stunned when I said that.  I didn't have the guts to tell him that when my SO rejected me, cheated on me, and abandoned me in the middle of chemo, that was THE worst - way tougher than the cancer or the treatments .  I think the thought of the surgery was more than he could stomach.

    I'm exhausted all the time.  My feet are numb, and I have suffered from Raynauds disease since I was a kid - this is that 24/7.  My left arm gets stiff and tired and numb.  My brain doesn't work like it used to. (Not that it was that much to begin with...)  My HFs are off the charts at times and I have to sleep on a towel and change PJs in the middle of the night.  I can't sleep without a pill, and yet I'm exhausted.  My hair, nails...oh, yuck.  I know this will get better over time, but others don't get it - and thank God they don't.  I don't like to see anybody new come here because that only means they will have to walk this path and deal with all the S@#t!

    OK.  I must be way too tired venting like this.  I come here to vent, but I also come here to be happy, inspired, educated, motivated, and laugh.  I so appreciate you ladies letting me spill all over the thread sometimes...just need to let it all out.

    I think I need lots of cookies and cocoa...and a little Ambien...

    Thank you ladies!!

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    carollyn & kim- thank you so much ... that's what I am hopin... a zit... that will go well with helena's nits... I think mebbe part of why I am so tired is teh xanax I been popping to deal with the HF.  Actually the HF are kind of reassuring (so far). On the other hand, stress may be a trigger for HF for me, and if that's the case,  I'm gonna have to change my whole personality...

    PatMom- interesting point about the kid picking up my moods.  

    I'm waiting for Mary to tell me if I should post our secret handshake pic... and Helena I got the link for yours... I got me and chelev and I am not allowed to post ... and the NoCal girls will have one soon... 

    kmmd- you got the pics in PM, right? oh and the answer to the question of who holds whose what is ... I have pics both ways  ;) 

    Crystal - yeah I totally ate the candy... but just the chocolate stuff!!!! but... ALL the chocolate stuff.  GOOD FOR YOU sledding!  yeah i totally feel the same way about time with the kid.  Must have been awesome.  Lately I have been crappy mom, and the nanny has been much more attentive to my kid.  Still, he prefers me.  I wondered out loud why that was and my nanny said - because you're there all the time for him.  Yes, that's right, I'm here... all the time... for him.  He counts on that and it makes his world OK.  Its like that movie, 90% of life is just showing up.  Maybe most of parenting is just being there?

    Helena QOTD- that dress your wearing reminds me a little of the one from The Owl and the Pussycat:

    OK OK so I hope its OK with Helena I am re-posting her secret handshake group shot:

     

    OK and I think Mary will say it's OK... here's us...first the innocent shot:

    and then the secret handshake:

    Chelev- may I post ours?

    Oh and you don't actually have to have a boob or foob to do the handshake, merely indicating the area is the intention...

    Leah- Kol Hakavod and safe travels and welcome home in advance!

    Donalee- what a hoot!  You could put that on a t-shirt... wonder what my kid will be like at 13...

    Little Red Rooster (I just always think of that song when I see your sig) I wasn't worried until the woman making the appointment was really nice and took me seriously.  Brrrrrrp.  I hope chelev is nicely toasted now, I'll be thinking of her in the waiting room while I am in the waiting room.  Grumble.  Yeah, the adventure.  Blech.

    Oh hey I missed a page, got to go back  

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  • BooBee
    BooBee Member Posts: 860
    edited November 2009

    Count me in Rachel and thanks for the invite.  

    Regarding the hot flashes....my DR prescribed Clonidine and it helped.......Then I fell off the healthy eating wagon, face first, now they're back with a vengeance.  God forbid I have the seat heaters in the car on because shortly afterwords I'm hanging my head out the window like a poodle.  I'm curious to see if my HF go away once I start eating better again.

    I need to get back on but it's so hard during football season.  (tailgating)  We live in a college town.

    I have my recon surgery scheduled for December 6th.  I'm going to shoot anyone that comes to my house with cookies and candy during the holidays.

    hugs

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  • Mom_of_boys
    Mom_of_boys Member Posts: 556
    edited November 2009

    OK... I'm here as well!  Interrupting the Yankees/Phillies game to put my name on the list... So, Rachel, which of the two NY teams do you pull for???

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited November 2009

    Go Phillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Yeah KEW I am wondering now which kinds of stressful situations will make a HF... and the MRI tube... oy don't get me started... well I do have it sorted out now and am taking all my preparations in case it gets to be MRI time tomorrow... like you say... how life changes... I used to make sure I had lipstick, cab fare  etc in my purse... then I had to restock for being a mommy... and now also my cancer patient gear: Xanax, Valium, Emla cream, a CD- oh that reminds me, get the CD...

    And I guess I am also really liking being able to rely on my body again.  I know its incorrect, but getting that SFBC DX did make me feel like my body had let me down or I it.  My dear friend from high school- one of the guys on the football team who is smart (very big time lawyer) has Stage IV tonsil cancer.  We were both remarking how our PET/CT scans showed we were otherwise in perfect health.  I mean, I am overweight but that's my doing, my body puts up with a lot of crap from me.  Its like 9/11, just one day I stopped being lucky.  I had this big plan how to manage Tamoxifen and what I hoped it would be like.  So having HF that are not so bad right on schedule makes me feel like I have that illusion of control over my health again.  Even though I am headed up to have my weird boob bumps checked out tomorrow.  OK, that does throw a wrench in my good feeling ...

    kmmd- I had a bit of a meltdown, both figuratively and literally at my kid's music class on Sunday.  Most of the class didn't show.  One woman showed up with her little boy for the first time sayin she had been unable to come to the other classes because her son kept getting sick. Another parent invited their friends and child to come try the class, but that child was 4 or 5 years old.  Aside from how unbalanced a class is with kids less than 2 and one kid who is 4 or 5, the 4-5 year old kid is going to school and picking up all sorts of things and bringing them home.  Stuff like RSV that a 4-5 year old immune system can handle but a 20 month old ends up in the hospital.  I wanted to zip my skin off and run out of the room with my kid.  I've decided not to enroll him in any more classes for the winter, and we're not going to any indoor kid gyms or anything like that.  He can't even speak- when he got sick last week I couldn't tell if his head hurt or his stomach or he was teething... Right, I am a big germophobe and got cancer anyway.

    :)

    But I hate being sick, and as a single mom, I can't be!

    AinM- I was asleep!!!! I could have watched some of it out some of my windows and I just couldn't get up out of bed!  I read some of those articles.  Means the world to me.  I know some of what you are  going trhough with your mom.  My Mom had MS.  It is brilliant of you to go to a course for caregivers.  And I can see, no time.  No time, no money just lots of work that has to be done.  And seeing your son's play.  Wow, another thing I want to see my son do.  :::sigh:::   am lmao picturing you doing the secret handshake at the screen ....

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited November 2009

    Thanks for the invite but I have a question. I don't have breasts, boobs, foobs and I don't wear fake ones. I am a flat lander, so I have nothing to "shake." Can I still join???

    Linda

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Renee ROFLMAO you with your head out the car window like a poodle...  Well I think that having a couple days or so to indulge is a lot different than a lifestyle of sugar and stuff.  I don't have any studies to back that up but... eh... 

    MomofBoys the truth... I support the NY teams.  My high school pals who just reunited on FB are screaming TRAITOR, as I am a born and raised Philly gal... I also admit that I'd celebrate whichever won as "my" team.  But... I love NYC... 

    jrgolo- I don't think you missed any real information yet, we're just farting around :)  There's a good chick pea soup recipe though...

    hrf- I am still constantly surprised about hair being lost like EVERYWHERE- nostril hair too!  I am sending you and all the chemo gals the hairiest thoughts I can.

    makraz- anyone but the yankees, right? :D 

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  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 6,416
    edited November 2009

    ok.. I am half blind still... ( don't ask...)

    Rachel forgot ...LOL.. to invite me... whatever...hehe.

    BUT... as soon as i can see.. I just might raid your thread...lol... I see many a sisters here...

    LOVE YOU ALL...will be be back when I can see beterr... ( again.. don;t ask..)

    ps.. DH did not wirte this for me..lol

    pss... I will try to forget that Rachel DID NOT ENVITE ME... NO PM FOR ME... oh well... I will get over it.. after all... I thought the " handshake" was extablished over a  year ago.. WHAT DID I MISS????????????????

    psss... PLEASE ignore my typing

    LOVE ...L

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited November 2009

    You're on to me, Rachel! 

    Good night!

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  • my560sel
    my560sel Member Posts: 1,065
    edited November 2009

    Hi Rachel...thanks for the invite! Just a quick stop by to say hello. Went out to a little place near our house for dinner  tonight and made the mistake of wearing a very tight pair of jeans and spike heels! What was I thinking! I really need to get upstairs and get out of these clothes before they permanently emboss themselves onto my thighs! Oh, and I had a half glass of wine and am now feeling guilty, man I hate that..... a girls gotta have a bit of fun now and again doesn't she???

    Ciao for now from Montreal.

    Terri

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Layne- I am of two minds on the LG appliance.  I love this machine.  I read the reviews and bless the nice people who wrote up the instructions- that i rewrote with pics and posted.  Most of those people figured it out with their local repair people and had little problem thereafter- except that they had to get those repair people out there every 6 months or a year.  My problem was absurdly compounded because all the authorized repair people are private companies in the NYC area.  Not one in Manhattan- because it's insane here, all small businesses were priced out of Manhattan and the ones who come in from the bridges and tunnels are just scamming everyone... they get LG to pay for them to come out to do no work, then they hit me up for hundreds of dollars to do the work that needs to be done saying its not covered by the warranty.  it is stupid that LG hasn't made an easy way to clean the lint out of the condenser, but otherwise I adore this machine.  Of the manufacturers and models available for this use- ventless, low energy usage, I still think this is the best.  But- if you are buying a full size model where there is a lot of competition, I have no clue.

    My cat makes that kak kak kak noise when I cough.  So far he couldn't care less about me getting hot.  and so far, no sweats just heat... like Arizona. :) 

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  • LeggyJ
    LeggyJ Member Posts: 726
    edited November 2009

    Hi Girls,

    I'm here, and I must say Thank YOU, Rachel, I was just about to drop off. I just couldn't stand it anymore.  This site is like old home week!!!!!!  Can't wait for Sunday, Nov. 8th, at Rutherford Grill, Rutherford CA....Hey Kari, ever since chemo. it seems like everyone is coughing on me, what's up with that? 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    ESTEEEEEPPPPPP   SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!!!!!   YAHOOOOO!  I need to go get Jazzy and everyone ... TA TA SISTERS!

    smithlme I dont know you but I LOVE your avatar!  welcome :)

    Terri- roflmao!!!! LOVE IT- stilettos and tight jeans YEAH BABY!!!!  I gonna get there too...

    Makraz- so wouldja root for the Mets? 

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  • Rachel_BC
    Rachel_BC Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2009

    Leggy- yeah, totally.  What a freakin relief!   :)  smooches... having too much fun and must go sleep and kick ass tomorrow... 

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  • hmm
    hmm Member Posts: 2,183
    edited November 2009

    I am cheering for Phillies along with Makraz......I think for the same reasons!!!!!

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited November 2009

    Sorry...I crashed your thread without an "official" invite. My bad...

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