I hate October/Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited October 2009

    If only breast cancer was one of the curable ones. . . .

  • BMac
    BMac Member Posts: 650
    edited October 2009

    I find this interesting.  I posted yesterday and no one even acknowledged it.  I don't mind giving money to cancer research because I feel I have a vested interest in their finding a cure.  However, I generally prefer to give in a way that gets me a tax receipt.

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2009

    That's the way I like to give too, BMac.  I have more control over where my hard-earned $$ goes.  I can know more of the money is being given to actual research or care.  I'm so glad I wasn't diagnosed in October.

  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited October 2009

    One day when it was not October and I was in the midst of chemo, I was at a shop in the mall and noticed a quiet little notice on their bulletin board about one of the women who worked there and how much money she had raised for BC research on a community walk. I waited til the one with the same name was available to pay for my purchases, confirmed it was her and told her "thank you, I am benefitting from that research". She was visibly moved and said she had never had anyone tell her that. It seemed she was raising money and didn't have any personal connection to the cause. That quiet kind of work is something I admire. And I am still wearing my pink shirts because it would be too much bother and cost to ditch them for new ones.

  • BMac
    BMac Member Posts: 650
    edited October 2009

    Lassie, I had an experience like that too.  We were in Halifax on vacation in August 2008.  I overheard one of the teenagers working at a store saying her feet were sore because she had done a Breast Cancer walk the day before.

    I too waited for her to become available and, after identifying myself as a recent breast cancer survivor, thanked her for what she had done.  It turned out that her mother, too, was a bc survivor.

  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 2,466
    edited October 2009

    Oh my, I feel the same way too, but we sure can't expect "outsiders" to get it.   They think they are helping.

    When a friend gives me some stupid pink thingy because I had it, I just say "thanks" and throw it out.  Most people talk only to my boobs never to my face anyway, and I have enough trouble when they find out I had it, keeping a straight face while their eyes stay glues to my chest, trying to figure out which one???

    I need a sticker that says "this one is the Barbie hooter, now speak to my face."

    I know I shouldn't, but I'll admit to knocking over displays too. Childish? Yup,  Feel better? Yup.

    I moved the old mammo to November.  It's just too much in october.

    xox

  • Route53
    Route53 Member Posts: 340
    edited October 2009

    From the co-survivor persepective, I too agree the commercialization is overkill and gets a little tiring.  Do I have to be reminded every day?

    That said, I do appreciate the fact that more people are becoming aware and sensitive.  Next to Heart Disease I think it has the biggest awareness factor and I think is actually doing some good in getting traction

    I agree with Cheri2 about the "are you going to run for BC in honor of your wife?"  My response is that I run almost every day, "Why don't people just donate to me each day that I run?"

    Erik (Route53)

    http://route53.wordpress.com

  • DebInTN
    DebInTN Member Posts: 85
    edited October 2009

    Last year I cringed everytime I saw the pink stuff or public service announcements or whatever.  I was still in the middle of surgeries and felt like crap and it was just too much to take.  At one point I almost started crying in Kohl's.  My insides were shaking.  I think I was about to crack up.  What a difference a year makes!  I am "embracing the cause" this year and doing everything in my power to raise money and awareness.  But, I truly do understand not being able to handle it and don't fault anyone who is just sick of it.  I was very fortunate that nobody brought me anything pink or Komen or anything like that.  Not sure how they knew not to do it.  Plus, pink has always been a very good color for me.  I wish I knew where to buy those pink M&Ms.  Pretty sure I could get away with indulging myself this afternoon!

  • BFidelis
    BFidelis Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2009

    Hi Friends --

    I have the added cultural bonus of cancerversary in October.  It's now been 3 years, and it does get easier, but still no walk in the park.  I get so tired of the marketing.  On the other hand, I am trying VERY hard to be less judgmental.  I'm trying...

    That said, I approached this month with caution.  Even had pre-emptive thought:  not the 3rd anniversary of dx (and the gruelling tx afterward) but 3rd anniversary of the cancer eviction notice (step one:  GET OUT, step two:  STAY OUT.)  Thought that would give me a better spin.

    Went to pick up beastie food at the pet super store Saturday (actual anniv. of surgery) and they were having an 'adoption event' with a local shelter.  Spent 15 minutes hunkered down in a remote aisle trying to compose myself, crying uncontrollably (ostensibly) over my dear pooch who left us 5 years ago.  OK, don't need a degree to figure that one out.

    But the WORSTEST part of Pink October is all the STUDIES extolling breast cancer prevention.  One headline I saw last week said 38% of breast cancers could be avoided (by following guidelines for diet, exercise, etc.)  Typical lying statistical game.  When anybody asks me what I think about prevention, I point out that the number one risk factor for breast cancer is having breasts.  Then I ask the questioner (female OR male) if they'd like to reduce their risk by having their lopped off.  Or I will point out that almost all people with BC drink water in some form, so that's an almost perfect correlation.  If they can't figure that one out, I sometimes have to prompt them with "so if you're looking at prevention, you might want to stay away from drinking water."

    Peace,

    Beth

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited October 2009

    Beth--you're water comment made me laugh out loud! It reminds me of the example the statistics teacher used about car accidents being caused by eating potatoes, or the larger a child's shoe size the higher his/her reading ability will be.  I'm going to add the water and bc connection to the list of fun ways stats can be used. 

     I can relate to your episode in the pet store, every once in a while something unexpected will throw me into a crying jag. 

    The hardest thing for me this month is the requests to support bc research that I get at checkout counters and such.  I simply say "I've already donated."  What I want to say is "I've already donated one breast and 2 years of pain and misery, now you want my money, too?"  or "I'll start giving money when I start GETTING some help with the financial mess bc treatment left me with."  I don't say these things, I know the person asking has no idea I am a bc survivor, and is truly trying to help.  Still, I dread going grocery shopping or anywhere else during October.  I'll be so glad when it's November. 

  • susanb2
    susanb2 Member Posts: 80
    edited October 2009

    Heart disease is the number one killer of women. It has just recently begun to get some attention with the red dress. Heart disease runs in my family and it's the disease I planned on getting. So I complained that there's too much pink and focus on breast cancer.

    Instead  of heart disease at the age of 55 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. No one in my family has had it. All of a sudden I got really thankful for all the pink,breast cancer awareness and all the research that has been done since the Susan G Komen Foundation was started.  Sure it's a marketing gimmick, but it has brought a lot of money in to research this disease.

    My first job as a nursing student was 35 years ago on an oncology floor where chemo was a new thing. Cancer patients died almost daily on that floor and they were horrible deaths. I  can confidently say that without the hype and without the pink most of us wouldn't be  alive to be on this site complaining about people trying to help breast cancer patients with walks and pink products.  Look at the breast cancer survival rates in the US now. I believe they are over 91% maybe higher. So I'm wearing pink, teal, red dresses, contributing to their walks, runs  and whatever else people want me to do bring awareness and force research for whatever cancer or disease they are concerned about. I want to help pay people back that I have the opportunity to be a survivor.

  • kk69Z
    kk69Z Member Posts: 167
    edited October 2009

    I can not wait until October is over. I do like pink, but not all over the place. Everytime I turn around it is advertised everywhere. From those pink ribbons for your car, to food labels, clothes with the pink ribbon. One thing for sure we'll know how old the boxes of food are just buy knowing it has been on the shelf since October. I think its a very good idea to have breast cancer awareness, but does it have to be a whole month. You would think they would have stuck it in April. Pink goes with Easter better then the fall month.

  • rubyredslippers
    rubyredslippers Member Posts: 228
    edited October 2009

    Meece - everything you said I agree with 100% I hate that someone I know thinks I should be no more stressed than her to now have a mammogram....that women who have had a mastectomy (Ive had a lumpectomy) have more to worry about than me, the women who think they are saviours for women who've had it because theyve done something or bought somthing during October, yet when I went thru it I never saw them....this one particular colleague was with me the day that I was diagnosed...before I was diagnosed but worried as the doctor needed to see me about my biopsy result. After diagnosis she disappeared. Never saw her, she never asked how I was thru chemo etc. HOWEVER, twice during October she excitedly told me about a fund raising night at a club in town and was I going as she was. No I wasnt going. I live with BC awareness EVERYDAY. Im tired. I was gobsmacked over her enthusiasm for a typical October event, yet when I went thru it she was nowhere to be seen!!!! typical isnt it!!

    I particularly liked the comments here about what to say when asked for a donation....yes, Ive already donated my breast cancer tumour for research into breast cancer.

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 5,056
    edited October 2009

    yesterday I went to an informal discussion on Women's Health and overall Breast health.   The speaker was the nurse for a very prominent Breast doctor and she had NO CLUE what to tell people.   The very first thing she did was put up a slide on the BIG projection screen of what a mastectomy used to be like many years ago - full node removal and all - VERY ugly and scary.   The next slide was a set of beautifully reconstructed boobs, which she added "can" be done today.

     I raised my hand and mentioned that there are other options besides mastectomy and reconstruction, and I had had a lumpectomy AFTER chemo.   The look she gave me could have killed...  Obviously I had derailed her, then I asked if anyone else had been diagnosed.  No one had.   As the talk continued, she went on and on about radiation and showed slides of the machines they use at "her" facility.   It was so poorly done that I could not believe it.  She never mentioned chemo, but she did pass out pretty little tote bags with a bottle of water in.  NO self exam cards, no "questions to ask the doctor" pamphlets, nada, zilch.   

    Maybe it was a new "awareness" plan - show how horrible it used to be and go to her boss/doctor and it won't be like that.    Thanks for letting me rant about it.    

  • BMac
    BMac Member Posts: 650
    edited October 2009

    Here, here Susanb2.  I like you was sure that ovarian cancer would kill me as I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer 7 years ago.  I, too, complained that there was so much focus on BC and none on ovarian.  Of course I understood that the shear numbers warranted this.

    I appreciate the attention BC gets because getting none is way worse.  I'm happy to donate to BC (and, of course, ovarian research as funds are greatly needed) because I have a really huge stake in the research.

    As I said previously on this thread I don't like the commercialism.  That seems to be a necessary evil.

    Having said that I can totally understand people who are in vulnerable place feeling overwhelmed by the barrage of pink in October.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited October 2009
    Nancy that is just a pile of crap! I hope, hope, hope she'll be better prepared next time! Did people ask YOU questions when it was over? I probably would have stood up and walked out or snorted through the whole thing....but then, I'm a shit-disturber! Cool
  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 5,056
    edited October 2009

    Ty barbe.  I almost walked out, but did not want to give her the satisfaction.   I didn't exactly snort, but cleared my throat and coughed and played with my scarf - fidgetted and squirmed.   A couple did ask ME after.   I know the person who arranged this and am going to give her my feedback on it. Believe me, anyone on this website could have done a more informative talk.   She did not even say to get an annual mammogram, for example.    

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited October 2009
    You done good Nancy! Laughing
  • Yazmin
    Yazmin Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2009

    AMEN, sisters. Fall is my favorite season, but like all of you, the pinkwashing partially ruins it for me.

    A couple of days ago, I received the dreaded email from one of my friends, asking, as you have guessed, for the usual donation "to get us closer to the cure" (haven't we be getting closer to the cure for the past 50 years or so?). This time, it is for The American Cancer Society's "making strides against breast cancer":

    http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY10SouthAtlantic?sid=16393&type=fr_informational&pg=informational&fr_id=19952

    I used to go along with the pinkwashing just to be nice to my friends and co-workers (and I think a lot of people end up making donations for that same reason). This time, however, I really, really, REALLY do not want to go along with it.

    I also don't want to just ignore her message. 

    Any thoughts on what response I could send back to this new request for sponsorship, without making my friend feel bad? (she is fighting one of the more aggressive forms of breast cancer).

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited November 2009

    Yah! It's November 1st! We made it through another year! Woo hoo!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2009

      Regarding the pink, I think they probably chose the color because it is primarily a women's disease and pink is for girls.  I also think they were trying to do something good when they started breast cancer awareness month and do not mean to offend those of us who have or have had breast cancer.  They just don't realize that if you have breast cancer, you are aware of it each and every month.  I do not contribute to breast cancer other than buying breast cancer stamps.  I did a walk one year and raised almost $2,000 and was quite proud of myself, but I was involved in a letter writing campaign for BC at the time and when I asked at the registration table where you turned in the money if I could pass out some literature regarding the campaign and they told me no, that pissed me off.  Also it was not long after that there was that newsbreaking story about some big wig in the cancer society embezzeling funds that were to go to cancer research.  I fly a breast cancer flag in front of the house that says Strive for a Cure because I am proud of the fact I am a survivor.  I took part in a breast cancer awareness program they produced for the internet this year (saw the post asking for women to participate on this site actually) and wore a pink blouse( I wanted just a plain blouse with a collar<they requested you to wear a solid color , not white or red, but I found very few paid attention to thos instructions once I saw the finished product>  and given the styles now, it was not easy to find  and pink was the only color I could find) ....got to MN and found I had no scarf ot head covering to go with my outfit so borrowed a scarf from my cousin which unfortunately had a lot of pink in it.  I thought it was a bit much myself and felt like Mother Breast Cancer since I was one of the older women in the interview, but thought what the heck.  So I don't think the month of October was meant to offend any of us, it's just unfortunate that people aren't aware of breast cancer every month, that it can happen to them or anyone at any age or time.  I support early detection and mammograms.  I had my first mammo when I was 38 and they saw a cyst that they checked several times and then when I was 40, it turned out to be breast cancer. After you have been dealing with it for as long as I have (original DX was 90), you aren't bothered by a lot of things.  Although if someone comments on my dramatic hair cut or asks what happened to my fingernails I give them a rather icy "I just finished 6 months of chemotherapy, thank you"   I got a kick out of someone's kiss my pink ass comment on here....made me laugh. 

  • Yazmin
    Yazmin Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2009

    Marybe: you are an inspiration. Keep up the good work.

  • Yazmin
    Yazmin Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2009

    ...............And I received this email message from Barbara Brenner:

    "........Some pink products are so ridiculous, it's hard to tell if they're real! Take a look at the images at right and then click here to tell us which one of them you think is the real deal."  (clever and interesting little game from Breast Cancer Action)

    On the bcaction website: http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/

     Barbara Brenner

    ......Indeed, there is even a PINK HANDGUN, no kidding.

  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited November 2009

    I have to say I wish the push would be Breast Cancer CURE  month. 

  • Yazmin
    Yazmin Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2009

    Hi, aprilgirl1:

    Did you say: "I also agree with you that it is sad that we simply don't know enough despite all the pinking - the dreaded pinking! "

    Indeed, the pinkwashing is turning into a shameless circus, where friends are buying friends'esteem via pinking.

    Sadly, no relationship whatsoever to the elusive cure.

    But I am now fighting back whenever I receive the dreaded pink email:

    I send back anti-pinking links, with this note from me at the bottom,

    which I hope is perceived as nice, and helps me keep their friendship, without participating in the circus-pinkwashing:

    ".......I will make a $100 donation directed to any breast cancer survivor, or GRASSROOT, LOCAL charity of your choice."

    See recent address from Fran Visco, President, National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund (NBCCF):

    Message From
    Fran Visco

    More Money Isn't Always the Answer

    http://www.stopbreastcancer.org/


    fran.jpg (9960 bytes)

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Email message from Barbara Brenner, President, Breast Cancer Action (BCA), entitled: "What is pink, silly, and seen all over."

    "........Some pink products are so ridiculous, it's hard to tell if they're real! Take a look at the images at right and then click here to tell us which one of them you think is the real deal."  (clever and interesting little game from Breast Cancer Action)

    On the bcaction website: http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/

     

    Barbara Brenner

    ......Indeed, there is even a PINK HANDGUN,  THIS IS NOT a joke

    October is over, but the feeling of too much pink is sure lingering.


    If you're feeling exploited, irritated, and even a little angry

    about the shameless "pink" marketing that happens during

    Breast Cancer Awareness Month, join the club!

    You've probably noticed some things

    in the last month that made you wonder, "Are they really selling that to raise money for breast cancer?" Well, so have we.

    Some pink products are so ridiculous,

    it's hard to tell if they're real! Take a look at the images at right

    and then click here to tell us which one of them you think is the real deal

  • megryan57
    megryan57 Member Posts: 83
    edited November 2009

    I yelled at the grocery store clerk a couple of weeks ago because she asked me if I wanted to donate to breast cancer. I told her I already "donated" both my breasts. I'm still looking for her to apologize.

    Reading this chain is so .... not lonely.

  • ChemoSobby38
    ChemoSobby38 Member Posts: 66
    edited November 2009

    TOTALLY agree sjack!!!!  Once October ends, the pink ribbons go away an everyone lives their happy lives and we're left fighting Breast Cancer 12 months a year, 365 day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Glad to be noticed for a month.  But no thanks.  PLUS all those products that suddenlycome out with pink ribbons to help fight and raise money ... in most cases, doesn't go to cancer research.  BAHUMBUG ....

  • Bellz
    Bellz Member Posts: 43
    edited December 2009
    I don't mind some of the pink, but going through this right now, I couldn't even enjoy the simple pleasures of a little window shopping because there was cancer everywhere I looked...like neon signs. BUT THE WORST THING I SAW WAS HUGE PINK RIBBON MYLAR BALLOONS.Yell..who in there right mind created those...can you imagine, you just wake up from having both breast removed and someone walks in with a pink ribbon balloon!!! It's not a freakin birthday party, or the birth of a new baby!!! no congratulations are in order!! screw the pink ribbon mylar balloons!
  • dottysue
    dottysue Member Posts: 3
    edited December 2009

    I hate it, too.   All this happy talk about breast cancer makes me gag..   I'm almost 5 years out, but still scared.   More than anything, I think breast cancer pissed me off.  (Forturnately, my onc doc said there was no statistical relationship between positive attitude and positive outcome.)   So I felt less guilty just feeling pissy about the whole thing.  And the commercialization of bc is pretty disgusting.   I'd love to see exactly what percentage of some of the pink-ribboned items goes toward research. 

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