Starting Chemo April 2009

Today is a sad day in my family. Many of us are BRCA2+ and have had bc. One of our cousins died today. Carrie was only 48 and diagnosed about 6 months ago with triple negative. She told me it was only an 8 mm tumour but there was lymph node involvement. Apparently it turned out to be very, very aggressive. She leaves 2 kids - a son (17) and daughter (15) - as well as a husband who is also battling cancer.

When I taught grade 10 English, Carrie was actually one of my students. She was a lovely person who always had a great smile for everyone. BC is a f%$#$$g awful disease.

Oh, Helen, I am so sorry for your loss.  My prayers of peace to you and your family and to Carrie's family - they must be devastated.  You are right, this is an awful, horrible disease that takes so many too early and robs their families of their wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, nieces and aunts.  A big hug to you, sweetie.

Geri, it was that kind of insensitivity that made me decide to change my med onc this summer.  Mine had made inane comments about why my hair hadn't grown back yet, and snarky remarks about having to take Femara because I didn't finish chemo (as if it was completely my choice - I was having severe allergic reactions!!), and I switched to a wonderful doctor who treats only breast cancer patients and has a terrific staff as well - and wish I had done it sooner.  Some times these doctors are just going through motions without reading charts, really getting to know their patients (because they are seeing too many of them? or don't care anymore?), and it's really difficult to be sitting there while they fumble around with your history. 

inthemoment, chelev, JudyNaomi, Thanks for the kind words. The funeral was gut wrenching.

Hugs to everyone.

Hi Girls, I'm just going to pick up here because I think it will be impossible to catch up.  I guess I need to stop taking days off and get back to work on here.  I've not posted at all except on my NoVa thread for a bc luncheon I'm doing this weekend.  I've read your posts but things have been a little crazy at my house and haven't had the time to sit down and write.  Now I'm doing it no matter what's going on around me.  Gosh darn it - it's crazy to say but things seem almost like they used to be pre-bc.  WOOHOO!!! 

CHELEV - So wonderful to here about your gene test, mine came back last week NEGATIVE too.  What a relief, I think you have a daughter too and I know that obviously they are still at a higher risk because of us but at least no genetic issue.  I saw your pic on the hair thread - OMG you look awesome!!  I love it and it absolutely looks like the most adorable short pixie cut.  

HELEN - I wish I was near you to give you the biggest HUG, so many things seem unfair these days and my heart goes out to you and your cousin's family.  Every life that is lost to this dreaded disease breaks my heart.  

BETSY - How are you doing?  I adore your hair, you look amazing!!!

TITAN - I think you are at the beach???? Don't do anything under a boardwalk I wouldn't do, OH wait that leaves you wide open. LOL  Hope you're having a GRRRREAT time.

AMY - How are you darlin???  How's that hair comin' along?

JUDY - You are my ray of sunshine, I can always count on a check-in from you!  Hope your kids are making you crazy and keeping you busy!  That's what I love!!!

GERI - You absolutely need to love you onc.   That person needs your complete respect and confidence.  Try to muster some energy and look in to seeing someone else.  HUGS to you for that experience.

ALAINA - How are the rads going sweetie???  We should meet up half way between our places sometime.  I'd love to meet you!!!

LENA - You're MIA again, hope things are OK.  Check in when you get the chance.

I'm going to try to stop "SLACKIN"  and keep up here.  Love ya all!!! You're the greatest group and I'm so glad to be a part.  

HUGS, Dawn

Helen - You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dawn- I'm doing much better these days. The end of rads was pretty difficult for me. I got very burnt, sore and tired. But just this week my skin has improved and I can actually wear a bra again. My girls are about the same size again...so the swelling has gone down. Now...I'm keeping my fingers crossed for no shrinkage.

I am so happy to hear your life is feeling crazy... like normal! It made me smile. I hope others are feeling that way too.

Geri - I don't think you need to be warm and fuzzy with your onc but you do have to trust them. It seems to me that you may not. So when the energy is right, maybe you should look for someone you feel completely at ease with. Good luck...

Judy - keep on sending those hugs...we love them! Where are those pics you promised?

AMY - Good to hear from you.  I know what you mean, sometimes that "c" word just hits me with disbelief.  I guess life is just one big adjustment.  Hang in there.  Where is Elkton, I'm in Prince William County, Virginia?  I'd love to meet you some time.  HUGS, Dawn

JUDY - I bet that when you do go "topless" you will be surprised how many compliments you get on how great you look;o)!!! It is hard to do until you are ready!  We'll be waiting for your pic when you want to share.  HUGS to you - YOU are a beautiful person!!!  Dawn

JUDY - I colored my hair very early on, just 3 weeks PFC and it did take, it just didn't last.  I have done it every 4 weeks since then as I had some gray before and have about the same amount now.  My hairdresser works for AVEDA and their dyes are plant based so my onc said it was fine to do.  All of the fuzz on the ends of my hair has now disappeared and it just looks like hair.  I have about 1 1/2 inches. The last time it was colored it seemed to stick better as the hair had just changed.   I'll try to post another pic next week.  If you do decide to color it, it does make such a difference in how you feel about it and it does look like so much more with color.  If you were a brunette before like I was here's something to try, I put mascara all over my hair (sounds crazy LOL;o)!!!) but it did give me an idea of what it would look like if I colored it.  It is so hard to have patience with all of this and I am the worst at waiting and when I get something in my head I refuse to let it go, my hubby can vouch for my persistence LOL.  Keep hanging in there and think about trying the mascara thing and then mabe color.  HUGS sweetie!!!  Dawn

I used brow mascara colorant to put on my beginning hairs too, when I didn't think the color was dark enough!!

Hi, Dawn!  Thanks - it is growing, FINALLY, like real hair.  How are you?  Doing okay??  I can't believe it's been 6 months post chemo already - feel like we all just started this mess, but then it also feels like distant past - which is good - the mind shuts out the really unpleasant stuff and lets us concentrate on the good stuff!

Take care and have a great weekend!  My mom is driving down tonight, we have the Making Strides walk tomorrow and I somehow was elected team captain for my work, and have a lot of family walking too.  I made my family t-shirts that read:  Mine says on front - "I will not give up the fight" and has the pink ribbon.  on the back, a huge pink ribbon and the word "fighter" under it.  each of my family has on the front, "She will not give up the fight" and on the back, an identifier, such as "fighter's husband", "fighter's daughter,"  "fighter's friend", "fighters mom," etc.  Looking forward to it, have a feeling it will be an emotional day. 

I had my Zometa infusion today. It went well. Guess I'll know over the next couple of days if I have any immediate se's

Have a good weekend everyone

Hey Dawn & Chelev- Question - when did you schedule your first hair cut? Mine isn't long enough now but sometime next month I may need to get it shaped. At least that's what I'm hoping. Oh dreams...aren't they wonderful!

Have a good weekend all. We are off on vacation next week. There aren't any board walks out here...but lots of beach..and a very dh to enjoy the week with. Yeah...I'm really looking forward to it.

Just checking in - Betsy, have a great vacation!

Judy x

Geri, thanks!!  It's definitely getting longer now with a lot of wave, but at least it's moving along!

Betsy, I had it trimmed twice last month (just timing, I guess), first time to get the ends off , that would have me at about 5 months PFC.  Then for the LGFB thing, the stylist trimmed even more and shaped it up really good and while I was cringing at yet another haircut and OMG it's going shorter, I think it has helped it keep some shape as it is getting longer and shaggier.  I am resisting getting it cut - Must Not Go Near Scissors!!

amy, that is so sweet!  I was thinking the same thing with my scarves - I would like to give my scarves and hats to someone who needs them.  The wigs, I paid too much money for to part with right now, but at some point, I will give them away also.  It is very emotional packing those up, isn't it?  They got us through the dark days and now that we are sprouting again, all we want to do is look forward!

Did the Making Strides Against BC walk on Saturday with my family - mom, husband, daughter, niece, nephews, friends - and I made t-shirts for everyone in my little group - depending on their relationship with me, it read "Fighter" (me), "Fighter's Husband," etc.  On the front, mine said "I will not give up the fight."  On their fronts, it read, "She will not give up the fight."  My daughter's back ended up online in the paper: